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Thread: Fear of death?

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    I am extremely afraid of death... I've been trying to deal with my fear. It causes me a great deal of anxiety. The other thing I seem to do is take on fears that naturally might not arise until later in my life, but deal with them now so they won't come up later. This seems to be something I've been doing rather subconsciously that I've become aware of consciously. I think "death" is one of these things. At some point fear just becomes fear of fear itself. It's confusing to me. I tend to be rather neurotic about my fear of death. I'm also afraid of states where someone is technically alive, but in many ways is dead... e.g. alzheimer's disease, which I view as a slow gradual death that one is unfortunate enough to experience while being alive. I find that horrible. I think I'd rather die than slowly watch myself die over time knowing in each moment where it is going and that I can't stop it. These things worry me.

    The future may haunt me in the present, and then I wonder about self-fulfilling prophesies...

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    Yes, that's what it is... it's like conceiving every potential thing that can happen, and then questioning if I'm strong enough to deal with it... so I'm "covered" in that I can handle every conceivable problem... it becomes neurotic because there are so many things that could conceivably arise (most of which won't arise) that my work is never done... I spend too much time in potential realities... I need to stop doing that. I don't know how.

    I can relate with you about the fear of hell... as that used to bother me a lot also. But then I studied religions more, and eventually got to studying Christianity more, and now I'm convinced that thing about hell isn't true... at all.

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    I'm not really afraid of dying. Think of it this way: when you're dead, you won't really care whether you're dead or not anyways.
    "How could we forget those ancient myths that stand at the beginning of all races, the myths about dragons that at the last moment are transformed into princesses? Perhaps all the dragons in our lives are princesses who are only waiting to see us act, just once, with beauty and courage. Perhaps everything that frightens us is, in its deepest essence, something helpless that wants our love."
    -- Rainer Maria Rilke, Letters to a Young Poet

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    sometimes I wonder what force can pull me back into the moment, into this world, because I can fade so far out of it... I don't know how to ground myself. Do you experience that?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Baby
    I'm not really afraid of dying. Think of it this way: when you're dead, you won't really care whether you're dead or not anyways.
    We don't feel fear of death but lack of life. We aren't worried by any negatives, but missing positives.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Orest Reinn
    We don't feel fear of death but lack of life. We aren't worried by any negatives, but missing positives.
    Not me. I'm the opposite of that. I don't fear lack of life, but I might fear the presence of pain.

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    my newest thoughts are that we create the future. Even when it doesn't seem like it, looking back at the past, I created most of it... so what I do now is creating the future... so I have to find a way to actively create it... I can choose a potential reality and actualize it... if I could just get up off my ass and actually *do* something...

    I agree about the problems with people criticizing... it's like all their suggestions aren't that easy for me... I can come up with suggestions for myself as well... I'm good at that... it's actually acting on them that I rather suck at... hmm.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Phaedrus
    Quote Originally Posted by Orest Reinn
    We don't feel fear of death but lack of life. We aren't worried by any negatives, but missing positives.
    Not me. I'm the opposite of that. I don't fear lack of life, but I might fear the presence of pain.

    yeah... ditto... and all that.

    death as a concept doesn't bother me in the slightest... whatever happens happens, I'll find out eventually (or be blank nothingness it won't matter) death as a process, as in that moment when I actually die, that terrifies me, especially the possibility that it'll be painfull (moreso the possibility that it will be the dark depths of illness, as a practically lifelong smoker of all sorts of drugs and cigs, I'm pretty sure lung cancer is gunna get me eventually. Dying from lung cancer isn't pretty... I'm watching my dad do it right now (well, he's not dying as I speak... but he's incurable and gets sicker more and more everyday...)

    I imagine it's going to be like getting bronchitus or a bad flu... except it just keeps getting worse... and that's what terrifies me.

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    Bionic: stop smoking!

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    Exactly. I so relate.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Loki
    Bionic: stop smoking!
    as if I never thought of that

    I'm much too "live in the moment" I guess... as much as everything I said above is true, when it comes down to it, if I'm nicking out or jonesin to get high, that's what takes priority over any fear of death. I never was much good with following through on long term planning

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    What's also interesting to me... is that back when I lived with my Mom, she really played a part in providing structure in my life. I totally took this for granted at the time of course, and resented being asked to do things... but the longer I've been on my own, the more any semblance of structure fades... now sometimes when my mom visits she'll be like "you need to do this, now!" and she'll get me into action with her terribly demanding ways. I guess I never realized before that I actually benefit from this more than not. And of course then there is how she was always telling that when I grew up I'd come to appreciate most of what she was doing... and I hate to admit that she was right. The irony.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Bionicgoat
    Quote Originally Posted by Loki
    Bionic: stop smoking!
    as if I never thought of that

    I'm much too "live in the moment" I guess... as much as everything I said above is true, when it comes down to it, if I'm nicking out or jonesin to get high, that's what takes priority over any fear of death. I never was much good with following through on long term planning
    I know. I mean that you've obviously thought of that. ...

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    So it seems that Si and Ni can both be very ineffective but perhaps in inverse ways. Si might be about living in the moment, such that even though the moment may result in a bad future, that can't be bothered with for the sake of the moment. Ni might be about living in the future, which then results in not living in the moment, and watching the future unfold as a self-fulfilling prophesy due to lack of action in the moment. Either way it's easy to get stuck. Se (which I feel is buried within me) can get Ni to act in the present and thus shape the future in a more favorable way. I don't know how Ne helps Si... okay, I'm out of thoughts.

    Edit: Adding on... is it that both Si and Ni are inactive... but Se and Ne are active?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Bionicgoat
    Quote Originally Posted by Phaedrus
    Quote Originally Posted by Orest Reinn
    We don't feel fear of death but lack of life. We aren't worried by any negatives, but missing positives.
    Not me. I'm the opposite of that. I don't fear lack of life, but I might fear the presence of pain.

    yeah... ditto... and all that.

    death as a concept doesn't bother me in the slightest... whatever happens happens, I'll find out eventually (or be blank nothingness it won't matter) death as a process, as in that moment when I actually die, that terrifies me, especially the possibility that it'll be painfull (moreso the possibility that it will be the dark depths of illness, as a practically lifelong smoker of all sorts of drugs and cigs, I'm pretty sure lung cancer is gunna get me eventually. Dying from lung cancer isn't pretty... I'm watching my dad do it right now (well, he's not dying as I speak... but he's incurable and gets sicker more and more everyday...)

    I imagine it's going to be like getting bronchitus or a bad flu... except it just keeps getting worse... and that's what terrifies me.
    heh, maybe I should rephrase. I'm not afraid of death. I'm afraid of dying. Painfully. Hopefully I'll die in my sleep.

    We are nothing but a temporary conglomeration of particles that we are shedding and constantly replacing. When our brains go, our consciousness, our personality, etc. go with it into the earth. Our ideas and love live on past us, though. That's all we can be sure of, really.
    "How could we forget those ancient myths that stand at the beginning of all races, the myths about dragons that at the last moment are transformed into princesses? Perhaps all the dragons in our lives are princesses who are only waiting to see us act, just once, with beauty and courage. Perhaps everything that frightens us is, in its deepest essence, something helpless that wants our love."
    -- Rainer Maria Rilke, Letters to a Young Poet

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    I try to get over my fear of death by presuming I'm going to live forever - it doesn't work very well.
    EII-Ne
    5w4 or 1w9 Sp/So

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    it's also that life defies entropy... it holds a complex conscious form with in us, and all the time everything is trying to wear that down, balance it out back into a state of low energy... so life is fragile.

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    According to Ray Kurzweil, in the future, we'll all be able to dump our consciousness into metal vessels that will never die.
    "How could we forget those ancient myths that stand at the beginning of all races, the myths about dragons that at the last moment are transformed into princesses? Perhaps all the dragons in our lives are princesses who are only waiting to see us act, just once, with beauty and courage. Perhaps everything that frightens us is, in its deepest essence, something helpless that wants our love."
    -- Rainer Maria Rilke, Letters to a Young Poet

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    I'm still wanting the ability to photosynthesize. I've always wanted to be green. I want some chloroplasts.

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    Go here to hear Dylan Thomas read his poem about dying bravely. He had an awesome voice: http://www.poets.org/viewmedia.php/prmMID/15377

    Quote Originally Posted by introspectivedolphin
    I would like to believe this, and not have any stupid little nagging doubts/guilt in the back of my mind that if I live my life the way I want to, God is going to punish me when I die.
    Ah. I used to be that way. Then I realized that the construct of Hell is nothing but an obedience and money-extracting ploy from people who have no interest whatsoever in the future of goodness here on earth. That, and a rationalizing device for people who have been offended against who want recompense that will never occur in this world.
    "How could we forget those ancient myths that stand at the beginning of all races, the myths about dragons that at the last moment are transformed into princesses? Perhaps all the dragons in our lives are princesses who are only waiting to see us act, just once, with beauty and courage. Perhaps everything that frightens us is, in its deepest essence, something helpless that wants our love."
    -- Rainer Maria Rilke, Letters to a Young Poet

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    Quote Originally Posted by introspectivedolphin
    Quote Originally Posted by Loki
    So it seems that Si and Ni can both be very ineffective but perhaps in inverse ways. Si might be about living in the moment, such that even though the moment may result in a bad future, that can't be bothered with for the sake of the moment. Ni might be about living in the future, which then results in not living in the moment, and watching the future unfold as a self-fulfilling prophesy due to lack of action in the moment. Either way it's easy to get stuck. Se (which I feel is buried within me) can get Ni to act in the present and thus shape the future in a more favorable way. I don't know how Ne helps Si... okay, I'm out of thoughts.
    This is all good. Hmm, since Si is an INFp's role function.......how does it play out for you? For me it's probably being obsessed about my appearance........around people. That's why if someone randomly shows up at my house and I'm not dressed up or in my pajamas or something, I freak out and hide in my room till they go away........lol. When I'm going somewhere, I spend alot of time making myself look as good as possible, I'm paranoid about what people will think if I don't. When I'm rushed for time and can't do this, I pretty much lose all self confidence. It's like I don't want people to know that I feel really insecure about this, so I overcompensate. I don't really voluntarily "live in the moment" when I'm by myself, I just don't feel like expending the effort. However when I do "live in the moment", when I'm around people, I tend to go overboard. It pretty much sucks.
    I was thinking of Si mainly in regards to what BG was saying... if he is SEI then he's an Si dominant... trying to figure out the difference. I still don't know what type I am, though currently I think it might be IEI. In any case, I don't know exactly how Si works in me... I'm still thinking about it. Once I fully understand the functions (in me) then I'll have a better idea... Of course I'm still skeptical about this whole thing as well. So I don't have much to say here.

    Edit: Actually what you said about appearance reminds me a lot of my sister... but I don't know what type she is...

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    Quote Originally Posted by introspectivedolphin
    Quote Originally Posted by Baby
    Quote Originally Posted by Bionicgoat
    Quote Originally Posted by Phaedrus
    Quote Originally Posted by Orest Reinn
    We don't feel fear of death but lack of life. We aren't worried by any negatives, but missing positives.
    Not me. I'm the opposite of that. I don't fear lack of life, but I might fear the presence of pain.

    yeah... ditto... and all that.

    death as a concept doesn't bother me in the slightest... whatever happens happens, I'll find out eventually (or be blank nothingness it won't matter) death as a process, as in that moment when I actually die, that terrifies me, especially the possibility that it'll be painfull (moreso the possibility that it will be the dark depths of illness, as a practically lifelong smoker of all sorts of drugs and cigs, I'm pretty sure lung cancer is gunna get me eventually. Dying from lung cancer isn't pretty... I'm watching my dad do it right now (well, he's not dying as I speak... but he's incurable and gets sicker more and more everyday...)

    I imagine it's going to be like getting bronchitus or a bad flu... except it just keeps getting worse... and that's what terrifies me.
    heh, maybe I should rephrase. I'm not afraid of death. I'm afraid of dying. Painfully. Hopefully I'll die in my sleep.

    We are nothing but a temporary conglomeration of particles that we are shedding and constantly replacing. When our brains go, our consciousness, our personality, etc. go with it into the earth. Our ideas and love live on past us, though. That's all we can be sure of, really.
    I would like to believe this, and not have any stupid little nagging doubts/guilt in the back of my mind that if I live my life the way I want to, God is going to punish me when I die.
    I don't think God punishes anyone, we do that to ourselves (spiritually I'm talking about)... and God does what he can/ has set things us so that we can heal after we die.

    At least that's my belief in what's going on if there is an afterlife/spiritual realm.

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    lol I hardly ever put thought into my appearance, I worry about comfort instead. I really think the key to looking good is to be comfortable in who you are and what you wear, instead of obsessively making yourself look presentable or good to other people.

    I can pull of pajamas just fine... lol I've worn pajama bottoms out into public even and when I've gone to friends houses

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    Quote Originally Posted by Baby
    I'm not really afraid of dying. Think of it this way: when you're dead, you won't really care whether you're dead or not anyways.
    I agree with this, but I'd add "because you won't have a brain who cares and I don't believe in souls".
    LSI

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    Quote Originally Posted by PotatoSpirit
    Quote Originally Posted by Baby
    I'm not really afraid of dying. Think of it this way: when you're dead, you won't really care whether you're dead or not anyways.
    I agree with this, but I'd add "because you won't have a brain who cares and I don't believe in souls".
    This thread is basically +Ni v.s. -Ni. +Ni has a sense of safety. Its not worried about death. It accepts it. -Ni is terrified of death, and the unknown. -Ni is afraid of not existing. INTjs ENTps INFps and ENFjs are extremely fearful of death. The unknown is terrifying. These types have a vague sense of anxiety about them. Many times these types suffer from existential anxiety. I'm not gonna say that they all have nihilistic worries, but many of times they will suffer from bouts of nihilistic stress.

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    also to note the direct connection between -Ni and +Ne. +Ne sees all the possibilities and it scares them.

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    I fear physical pain and mental disorientation... but I do not fear death. Death has always been just a word to me. It doesn't bring up any associations whatsoever. It's indiscutable. Mystery, not problem.

    On the mystery/problem dichotomy; december 16, 2004 entry:

    http://hyperstition.abstractdynamics...s/2004_12.html

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    Quote Originally Posted by Carla
    Quote Originally Posted by hitta
    This thread is basically +Ni v.s. -Ni. +Ni has a sense of safety. Its not worried about death. It accepts it. -Ni is terrified of death, and the unknown. -Ni is afraid of not existing. INTjs ENTps INFps and ENFjs are extremely fearful of death. The unknown is terrifying. These types have a vague sense of anxiety about them. Many times these types suffer from existential anxiety. I'm not gonna say that they all have nihilistic worries, but many of times they will suffer from bouts of nihilistic stress.
    This is me. I'm scared of one day not existing; and, when I've died, of not even knowing that once I existed. One more unique individual, lost forever...

    Now I'm sad.
    would it help if I told you aren't all that unique?

    (just kidding )

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    Figuring out a way to live forever is on my to-do list somewhere Way over at the bottom though. I'm pretty light-hearted about death, not fearful, we all die. It's just such a pity every time.

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    When I'm hurt, especially in my neck- I like FEEL my mortality deeply. It's weird, because when I'm fine (like I am right now) I don't think about it. I start noticing my own weakness, like, how much exact physical pressure it would take to kill me. It really isn't much. Humans are weak.

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    I would say that I think about death, but I don't worry about it too much. I think about all the different possible ways in which I could die and try to think which would be the best. Would I rather be surprised by death or would I prefer to have some time to know it's coming (like a fatal illness)? I've been hearing lately about how my 92-year old grandfather is failing in Florida these days and I think it's pretty awful. Sure he's had a long life but all of his bodily functions are failing and I'm not sure that's a better way to go than cancer or getting hit by a truck. I just don't know.

    Anyway, one of my best friends is INTj and she's very very scared of death/thinks about it a lot and tends to spend a lot of emotional energy on that subject, at least in her own head (not that she goes around talking about it all the time). She told me once that it sometimes keeps her up at night.
    IEI-Fe 4w3

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    Quote Originally Posted by mm
    Figuring out a way to live forever is on my to-do list somewhere Way over at the bottom though. I'm pretty light-hearted about death, not fearful, we all die. It's just such a pity every time.
    I'm gonna find the elixir of life, or die trying.
    EII-Ne
    5w4 or 1w9 Sp/So

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    Quote Originally Posted by Subterranean
    Quote Originally Posted by mm
    Figuring out a way to live forever is on my to-do list somewhere Way over at the bottom though. I'm pretty light-hearted about death, not fearful, we all die. It's just such a pity every time.
    I'm gonna find the elixir of life, or die trying.
    Aubrey_de_Grey

    He seems to think that people will soon be able to live to 1000.

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    Quote Originally Posted by hitta
    Quote Originally Posted by Subterranean
    Quote Originally Posted by mm
    Figuring out a way to live forever is on my to-do list somewhere Way over at the bottom though. I'm pretty light-hearted about death, not fearful, we all die. It's just such a pity every time.
    I'm gonna find the elixir of life, or die trying.
    Aubrey_de_Grey

    He seems to think that people will soon be able to live to 1000.
    Honestly? I would never ever want to live that long.
    IEI-Fe 4w3

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    I have more of a fear of loved ones dying than I do of myself dying.
    SEE Unknown Subtype
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    [21:29] hitta: idealism is just the gap between the thought of death
    [21:29] hitta: and not dying
    .

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    Quote Originally Posted by Khamelion
    I have more of a fear of loved ones dying than I do of myself dying.
    Yes, absolutely.
    IEI-Fe 4w3

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    Quote Originally Posted by Khamelion
    I have more of a fear of loved ones dying than I do of myself dying.
    Same.
    "How could we forget those ancient myths that stand at the beginning of all races, the myths about dragons that at the last moment are transformed into princesses? Perhaps all the dragons in our lives are princesses who are only waiting to see us act, just once, with beauty and courage. Perhaps everything that frightens us is, in its deepest essence, something helpless that wants our love."
    -- Rainer Maria Rilke, Letters to a Young Poet

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