I don't know where else to put this. It COULD be related to socionics.
Anyways I just got out of a bad friendship irl. It felt over-committed to me, so like a stereotypically guy, I ended it. It just felt so draining. I cared about this person so much but it was just like so serious and heavy-handed. I got accused of always wanting to joke and never be serious with her, but it was just too much for me to take.
Now that I broke up with her, I feel happier but is this just fleeting? I hate feeling this way, because I know she's still upset....but it's like I just had to move on I felt suffocated. I DON'T HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT I'M DOING. I just didn't know how to solve it, so I ran away logically. I tried to make it work, but it's like she wasn't listening to anything I said, and I wasn't really wanting to change for her either...so yeah.
And I'm really concerned because I always read advice on how to 'just break up' with somebody when you're not doing well with them, and it seemed like really harsh to me, and anti-human, but I guess I see their point. I still have no idea if I made the right choice! But it's a choice I made, so I know I have to take responsibility no matter what the consequences. I dunno if this is a good thing at all, even though I am happy right now. I wanted to make things work...but it feels awkward as hell everytime I try to communicate. We used to get along so well together too, but I think our priorities have shifted. So strange. I thought she was forever! But like if this is real, always feeling so over emotional and unhappy then I guess I'll take shallow anyday, but maybe she's right, maybe I just don't have the cajones to stick through the fire and see how it all turns out, but I am just tired of the nagging and criticisms and everything else.
This is my first break-up btw lol....we were together for 10 years. I still don't know. It's SO WEIRD but to be honest we were really apart long before then, we both were just masking our true feelings.
I feel like such an asshole. =( I don't know if I did the right thing or not. Only time will tell eh? I honestly don't have a lot of real-life experience (surprise, surprise) so any of you sensor-down to earth types can help me out I appreciate it.
And what's funny I always thought I would be the one that gets rejected and the victim in life, but I am the one that's doing the rejecting, the walking away the "giving up" supposedly. *CRY*