The SLE/ESTp Stare

[Mea]

Yes. My ESTp neighbour does it all the time.

And he'll tell me:
I saw this girl today, she thinks she's so hot, so I deliberately look and her, see if she looks back, and she did, so I continue staring, give her the attention she wants. But the bitch looks away.

Or:
I was looking at this cute girl today, she was with her boyfriend, and he boyfriend is so UGLY! What is such an ugly guy doing with such a cute girl. He noticed me starting at her, so I stared back at him. Loser looked away after 5 seconds.

lmao.

[xyz]

If I saw you doing that I'd ask you if you had a damn problem.

[somethingsomething]

Oh yeah...that's definitely not a good thing to do I've done it a few times :X Out of stupidity, though...I have a staring problem

[PotatoSpirit]

Lol I do that too sometimes, but usually when it happens someone else initiates it.

It just happened while I was checking out a new salsa school... the instructor (ESTp I think) said something and looked at me, waiting for me to nod, but I just stared back because he was an ass. He stared on an on but eventually had to continue the lesson (c:
I was hoping he'd do it again but he didn't.

Se is so satisfying.

[Kristiina]

Lol I do that too sometimes, but usually when it happens someone else initiates it.

It just happened while I was checking out a new salsa school... the instructor (ESTp I think) said something and looked at me, waiting for me to nod, but I just stared back because he was an ass. He stared on an on but eventually had to continue the lesson (c:
I was hoping he'd do it again but he didn't.

Se is so satisfying.

lol lol. I can imagine you doing that. Scenes like that in movies are usually very cool and intense.


When I notice a stranger looking straight at me, I look back for a decent glance (2-3 sec) but not longer. Otherwise it feels like I was saying "please ask for my phone number, I'm longing for you". When my friend ESTp stares at me in that challenge way, I look straight at him, usually smirking with raised eyebrows like I want to say "yees? Anything I can help you with?".

[mustachio]

i used to do a lot of staring. nowadays, i keep it as a tool or rather weapon. other than that, i don't really see the point in using it anymore. i don't know what it is exactly but i really have no difficulty making my presence felt (and i never overdo the Se). alot of people are afraid of me. they're afraid of the way i walk too(with my shoulders). i've built such a snakelike reputation that most people don't meet my Ti stare at all now. i've had to join the gym to fend off my enemies.

still, i can totally relate with you Herzy. weird thing is, i would do it and most people would actually back down. it's like creeping inside someone's skin. it intimidates them because it makes them wonder what you might know, and what you might do with that knowledge (i.e. humiliation, bone breaking and the like). you project the illusion that you own an advantage over them. that illusion is fed by confidence whether healthy or not. i've never met an SLE without it. it's kind of our trademark.

one problem with the whole Ti Death Stare for me is that i noticed that most people do not actually mean me any harm quite the contrary. i used to do it as a self-defense or just to play games. but then the few people who stare back at me are, most of the time, just crushing on me. men, women, young and old; the attention i get is a bit messed up. as i got older, my Ti stare became a sort of misleading beckoning call to all sorts of weirdos. so, i learned to use it judiciously.

i love staring at women. they might be disgusted at first, but if you don't back down, they start wondering what makes you tick. they really enjoy that confidence. i saw my reflection once while doing the stare: shit, scared the shit out of myself! no kidding!

[marooned]

this conversation gets increasingly interesting with each new post... I never really thought about staring this much...

[FDG]

i love staring at women. they might be disgusted at first, but if you don't back down, they start wondering what makes you tick. they really enjoy that confidence. i saw my reflection once while doing the stare: shit, scared the shit out of myself! no kidding!

Ah! Fuck no joke I agree! Sometimes I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirrors on the street while I'm walking, and I understand why many criminals stare back at me.

[jessica129]

Staring of any sort is highly offensive to me....as i'm sure it is to most people. I have this issue with this woman behind me. Everytime I walk past, she stops everything and stares blankly....wtf?If it's some stupid powerplay, it's pathetic. Don't do it. Thanks : )

[FDG]

Staring of any sort is highly offensive to me....as i'm sure it is to most people. I have this issue with this woman behind me. Everytime I walk past, she stops everything and stares blankly....wtf?If it's some stupid powerplay, it's pathetic. Don't do it. Thanks : )

What if I stare at your legs?

[jessica129]

Meh...i zone out and don't really take notice who's looking at me unless it's completely obvious and intrusive and strange like this woman....I think she's a lesbian.

[xyz]

I'm usually too busy looking at everything in the goddamn room to stare at any particular per- oh shiny!

[Kristiina]

I'm usually too busy looking at everything in the goddamn room to stare at any particular per- oh shiny!

lol, oh I know that feeling.

[Jimbean]

Yes I have noticed that.

When I am walking around campus I walk on one side of the path to see who moves out of the way. I experiment with those things sometimes.

@ Herzy
Do you see Ne or Ni types do this? I think they are mostly Se types, but I don't alway notice the person's type.

[Jimbean]

I would like to add, I love staring at people, sometimes just to see what they would do. Most of the time though I consider it rude though.

[XoX]

I doubt I'm a type but I stare other people a lot. I don't do it as as a power play thing though. It is just that my eyes naturally start to stare sort of whenever I see someone. So I have to control myself e.g. remind myself not to stare for too long.

There are some problems which arise from this "natural staring".

If I stare at guys they think it is aggressive or something or that I'm gay.

If I stare at girls they interpret it that I'm sexually interested in them. So they either jump to conclusions and start staring back or get annoyed and visibly look away. This is particularly annoying in any office setting I have been in because some women start seeking for this eye contact (apparently they think I'm flirting with them and get interested) and some others try to noticeably look away and seem a bit annoyed (apparently they think I'm flirting with them and get annoyed). This can be a pain really because I can't just go and explain them why I stare at them. So I have to make conscious effort to try not to stare in order to not get people thinking I'm hitting on them and also not getting sued for workplace harassment.

[redbaron]

I like it I think it indicates power--an unwillingness to back down. I find myself staring back and then inevitably looking away first but feeling glad that the other person didn't look away. And it's not about attraction, just power....or something. Maybe victim/aggressor thing.

[XoX]

I like it I think it indicates power--an unwillingness to back down. I find myself staring back and then inevitably looking away first but feeling glad that the other person didn't look away. And it's not about attraction, just power....or something. Maybe victim/aggressor thing.

I think I now understand what kind of stare it is that we are talking about. I occasionally work with a person who kind of does that but I think he is ESFp not ESTp. My own "stare" is different. It is more an evaluating and observing stare than challenging stare. I generally observe and evaluate a people around me and their actions and they often just happen to look back and then we can spend quite a while staring at each other. But it is a different phenomena I think. If someone initiates a challenging stare at me I generally respond with observing stare rather than a challenging stare thrown back. Also the "death stare" doesn't have that much effect on me. I have a rather analytical reaction to it. Trying to understand it. And I spend quite a lot of time looking in their eyes trying to understand what is their purpose. I'm not sure what impression this gives to the person staring at me.

[redbaron]

When I was in college there was this guy who used to sit across the table from me in a literature seminar class who would stare at me all the time during class. But it wasn't a power-stare like some ESTps can give. He was an introvert (not sure what type, I'll have to think about that) and it was clear that it wasn't an "I like you" sort of stare because he had a serious girlfriend (who is now his wife) but eventually I figured out that he was just in his own head and I happened to be sitting across from him very often so that's why he was staring at me. It was disconcerting at first but I got used to it.

[XoX]

When I was in college there was this guy who used to sit across the table from me in a literature seminar class who would stare at me all the time during class. But it wasn't a power-stare like some ESTps can give. He was an introvert (not sure what type, I'll have to think about that) and it was clear that it wasn't an "I like you" sort of stare because he had a serious girlfriend (who is now his wife) but eventually I figured out that he was just in his own head and I happened to be sitting across from him very often so that's why he was staring at me. It was disconcerting at first but I got used to it.

Well that's perhaps more like it. Often I'm a bit more observant though. Spotting interesting people all around me. And I sometimes do kind of try to make certain contact but it is more like innocent "I'm aware of your existence, you seem cool, now go on with your life knowing that" thingy. Not an attempt to accomplish anything else. Some other scenarios are like...there was one person who looked just like one actor and it seemed my eyes had a tendency to automatically lock into her whenever I saw her somewhere (I have never had the chance to interact with her and I don't really know her). Anyways it took me effort to get rid of that habbit of staring at her. I went into a kind of dream like state comparing her face pixel by pixel to the actor and always be as amazed at how well they match. Then I woke up like "uuh..she must be wondering what am I staring". I might also try to look into people's "souls" through their eyes. Even random strangers at street. Things like that. Anyways I tend to stare but not death stare Sorry

[liveandletlive]

haha I know exactly what you're talking about it- one of my best friends is an ESTp and he does it all the time. He even does it to me and I'm just like "Dude, really??? It's me!" But yeah he still does it. He says he's trying to read people I guess it's the hidden agenda plus the whole narcissim/intimidation thing

[ScarlettLux]

Hm. Can't say I relate or have experience with the content of this thread ... ? I haven't really noticed dominants or even creatives do this "stare" Well, my SLE ex (whom I am not on good terms with at all) used to "act tough" and cuss out people around me when he felt THEY were staring @ HIM - he would say things like "OMFG, IF THEY KEEP FUCKING STARING AT ME I'M GONNA FUCKING GO OVER THERE AND *insert violent action here*" ... seemed a bit of a show put on but hey, I dunno, he did carry around weaponry to defend himself/others if ever were the situation should pop up that he had to ... lol. Sometimes I think he had more of an hidden agenda and could have been an LIE ... I dunno.

[Ezra]

You guys know what I'm talking about! You ever met one of those ESTps that just goes out of their way to lock eyes with you for as long as possible, to the point of being a bit eerie? I noticed that I do this a bit (okay, a lot) with random people who have something noticable about them, and I want to try to "figure them out" in a sense. I do this subconciously because I like to try to determine how much guts the person has who I'm looking at. If they don't even meet my gaze in the slightest, I usually consider them a pussy and move on. Same thing goes for people who see this and immediately look away. The best thing is when the person in question happens to be another ESTp, because they'll usually take up the challenge and fire a long-ass stare right back at you. I've noticed that other Betas (especially ISTjs) tend to go along with it, and Alphas/Deltas do this a lot less.

The thing that made me think of this was this ESTp subtype guy at school who did that to me for like ten seconds this morning. I was like "lolol" and I stared right back at him to see if he'd back off, but he didn't! So I've met a worthy challenge, and I'm going to try to do this again tomorrow. Fun shit.

Any experiences on this type of thing?

Yeah, I do it for power games. I did it in a club a few nights ago. This guy who couldn't have been more than twenty was looking at me and then whispered something to his mate up on this platform. I stared him out ('just start something motherfucker, just start something') and he looked at me. Clearly he was underestimating me in some way. I just kept staring at him.

[betterthandead]

yomama

[implied]

i was accused of the death stare ® the other day!

"you're making me nervous." i have no idea how to take that!