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Thread: If someone asked you what you thought of them

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    Landlord of the Dog and Duck Subteigh's Avatar
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    Default If someone asked you what you thought of them...

    ...what would you do?

    How would your response differ if a basic stranger asked you compared to a friend, or depending on the expression on the person's face etc.? What if someone asked you their opinion of a third person? Consider the various scenarios, like whether you are talking to a stranger\friend about a stranger\friend, or what the person's demeanour is at the time - would you tell the third person about the coversation, and what exactly would you tell them? What if someone was about to tell you what someone else had said about you - what would you do?

    Class dismissed... - I'll respond some other time, if I'm in the mood.
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    Default Re: If someone asked you what you thought of them...

    Quote Originally Posted by Subterranean
    ...what would you do?

    How would your response differ if a basic stranger asked you compared to a friend, or depending on the expression on the person's face etc.? What if someone asked you their opinion of a third person? Consider the various scenarios, like whether you are talking to a stranger\friend about a stranger\friend, or what the person's demeanour is at the time - would you tell the third person about the coversation, and what exactly would you tell them? What if someone was about to tell you what someone else had said about you - what would you do?

    Class dismissed... - I'll respond some other time, if I'm in the mood.
    If someone random asked me even if i didn't like them i would lie and just say i think they are fine. Unless im in a totally bad mood. If my friend asked if i liked them i would say i like them and then proceed to explain some qualities why i like them as they are obviously insecure. If someone asked me about a third person i am blatantly honest. I would just say that person gives me the absolute shits. In fact thats the method i use sometimes so people know i dont like them without me having to tell them. If someone was about to tell me what someone else said i would be happy to hear.
    ENFp (Unsure of Subtype)

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    Default Re: If someone asked you what you thought of them...

    Quote Originally Posted by Carla
    Quote Originally Posted by Subterranean
    What if someone was about to tell you what someone else had said about you - what would you do?
    Ooh, I like to hear juicy gossip.
    I'd try to stop them before they actually told me... that sort of thing just simmers in my mind if it isn't something positive.

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    Prolly tell them the truth..... maybe the truth with a slight silver lining on it if I think it would hurt them. Same with talking about a third person. Would tell the third person if it was significant or if I said something bad about them.

    P.S. Sub.... I think that Bionicgoat has a really red nose and it looks like he needs to blow it desperately..... God, I don't think I could ever be friends with someone who needs to blow their nose as badly as he does.................shhhhh....but don't tell him though.
    Suomea

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    Default Re: If someone asked you what you thought of them...

    Quote Originally Posted by Subterranean
    ...what would you do?

    How would your response differ if a basic stranger asked you compared to a friend, or depending on the expression on the person's face etc.? What if someone asked you their opinion of a third person? Consider the various scenarios, like whether you are talking to a stranger\friend about a stranger\friend, or what the person's demeanour is at the time - would you tell the third person about the coversation, and what exactly would you tell them? What if someone was about to tell you what someone else had said about you - what would you do?

    Class dismissed... - I'll respond some other time, if I'm in the mood.
    I would give a positive assessment. Anything negative would usually be phrased such that it would reinforce an aspect of their personality that they themselves like.

    I'm not really into tearing people down - seems kind of pointless most of the time.
    SLI/ISTp -- Te subtype

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    Default Re: If someone asked you what you thought of them...

    Quote Originally Posted by Subterranean
    How would your response differ if a basic stranger asked you compared to a friend
    To a stranger it would be a generic response, you seem pretty cool, nice, cute, easy going, or other easy to use adjectives.
    A friend it would be different in the sense that, I'd actually have to think about why they'd be asking me the question in the first place.
    This would tie in to...
    depending on the expression on the person's face etc.
    Then I'd base my answer on those few things, whether they were looking for something constructive or just trying to reaffirm what they already think of themselves... If I sense they are saying something out of insecurity then I'll tell them what I think they need to hear at that point. Whether good or bad.

    What if someone asked you their opinion of a third person?
    Ok, I'm gonna go out on a limb and say that this is one of the few parts of socionics that I actually think I know... Being an ESFJ... my answer here should be self evident to most...hahaha. I'll give whatever opinion I have and spare nothing...lol

    Although, I myself am pretty good about not saying anything about another person that I wouldn't say to the person's face as if they'd asked me themself. I realized a long time ago that I have a pretty broad social network and that it's inevitable for me to say something about another person and it not get back to them in some way, shape, or form... Why set myself up for drama that I don't need?


    What if someone was about to tell you what someone else had said about you - what would you do?
    I'd listen and either get happy or mad. But, if it's bad... I know that people are people and things often said about someone can come out wrong and I'd get over being mad as quickly as the next time I saw the person. If it's someone saying something good about me I'll be happy for a month.

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    This whole subject is rather awkward. The easiest thing to deal with though would be the situations in which a third party is involved. I usually try to say only positive things when I'm talking about others who aren't there, and if I have to say something negative I try to find a more positive way of saying it. I'm more harsh to people's faces though, especially when there's no one else around. I'm not generally mean or anything like that... just direct.

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    yeah I would be quiet a lot. I would think about it in each situation, and answer honestly but in a nice way. That is honestly the way that i've acted 99% of my life. I have often simply refused to talk shit about someone.. but my life is unravelling these days so i might act out of character

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    "How would your response differ if a basic stranger"

    You're a little weird, considering the fact that you're asking me what I think about you, despite the fact that I don't know you. You need help dude.

    "asked you compared to a friend"

    I would ask them why they're asking me the question in order to find out how I should appropriately respond.

    "or depending on the expression on the person's face etc.?"

    Again, highly depends on whom I'm talking to(friend-enemy dichotomy.)

    "What if someone asked you their opinion of a third person? Consider the various scenarios, like whether you are talking to a stranger\friend about a stranger\friend, or what the person's demeanour is at the time - would you tell the third person about the coversation, and what exactly would you tell them? What if someone was about to tell you what someone else had said about you - what would you do?'

    My response to any of these scenarios would vary highly between person to person and situation surrounding said person and their question. If someone asks me about someone I frankly can't stand, I would honestly tell that, "frankly, I can't stand that person. They're....," unless, of course, there was good reason for me not to voice my opinion about that person. Highly variable responses.
    "To become is just like falling asleep. You never know exactly when it happens, the transition, the magic, and you think, if you could only recall that exact moment of crossing the line then you would understand everything; you would see it all"

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    I'll start out with good points, and if they call me out on only pointing out good, then I will tell them something negative, honestly, but always give them a way they can turn that around.

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    i prefer a preemptive telling.

    I like some extraverts because of this. i don't mind telling someone what i think of them, or describing to them their character if they have been forthcoming with information and stories from their life(a lot of outgoing extroverts will be forthcoming). I don't like it when people act this way without sincerity-- as a joke or whatever. personality is very interesting and sometimes we have no idea what impression we make on others, and for the curious and openminded, the sharing of that information doesn't have the potential to injure.

    Of course, between two close introvert friends it is better not to bring up such issues as they will result in misunderstandings. ("what, that's not how i would describe you at all," will not fly well with the corresponding introvert who just gave speech of his own character.)
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    I'd probobly be annoyed if someone asked me to assess their personality and would probobly let them know that. Either that or flat out lie just to get the conversation over.

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    If a stranger - I would get annoyed because I'd probably think they were fishing for compliments....or just weird. It's never happened except when casual or just-met acquaintances want to know what I think about...something to do with them. And I feel used when people ask me stuff like that.

    If a friend - I would go into depth about what makes them a good person of worth. If there are things they need to work on, I would emphasize how we are all human and imperfect, and how I've already observed them working on these things, so their willingness to better themselves would be what's significant.

    NOTE - I would not say this stuff if I didn't think it was true. I don't have friends who are bad people. I don't have friends who utterly lack humility. I think my friends are more positive than negative, and I am always one for emphasizing the positive. I wouldn't make fun of them. Also note, I don't have any Beta friends. Thus I can get away with being so earnest.

    If a third person - I'm a terrible gossip, in my opinion. I would try to determine if my friend liked or disliked this third person. I would tailor my response accordingly. But beware, I might go off on a personality-type tangent, if I really think I "get" the third person. I'm also quite aristocratic, and often say "he's the kind of person who..."

    If I'm talking to a stranger/nonfriend about a friend, I would say positive things about my friend. I feel like I have to be the advocate and defender of those I care for.

    NOTE - Again, I must emphasize for those who may think I'm being fake, that I wouldn't say anything I think isn't true, just to create an impression. I see both good and bad in everyone, some more good, some more bad. I can see that in every situation. I am always "of two minds". So I just pick which mind I want to use.

    I would share the contents of the conversation with the third party only if I liked the third party and the topic came up. Otherwise I'd keep it to myself. I know how a lot of people feel about other people. You'd be surprised. People love telling me this stuff, and I'm also good at picking it up.

    Lastly, if someone wanted to tell me something about myself, I'd be EXTREMELY NERVOUS. Nothing good can come of it! And if they say something good, it's like a haze comes over me, and I feel kind of good but still want it to be over with as soon as possible.

    Months or years later, I will look back on it and feel good about myself. Or, if they said something negative.....I would go over it and over it and alternately hate myself and lash out at them. I wouldn't ever forget it though, no matter what I ended up feeling.
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    I'd tell them, straight-out and tactlessly. I'd tell them what I love about them, and what I hate about them.
    Ideas don't determine who's right. Power determines who's right. And I have the power. So I'm right.

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    Quote Originally Posted by heath
    i prefer a preemptive telling.

    I like some extraverts because of this. i don't mind telling someone what i think of them, or describing to them their character if they have been forthcoming with information and stories from their life(a lot of outgoing extroverts will be forthcoming). I don't like it when people act this way without sincerity-- as a joke or whatever. personality is very interesting and sometimes we have no idea what impression we make on others, and for the curious and openminded, the sharing of that information doesn't have the potential to injure.

    Of course, between two close introvert friends it is better not to bring up such issues as they will result in misunderstandings. ("what, that's not how i would describe you at all," will not fly well with the corresponding introvert who just gave speech of his own character.)
    You are absolutely right with all of this. And I would never ask anyone any of these questions, especially not what they thought of me because a) you're putting the person on the spot and b) the chance that you'll get an honest answer is pretty slim. There's a greater chance that the person is going to think you're fishing for compliments. If someone did ask me, I suppose I would just tell them the most positive stuff I could think of.
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