Should an ENFj and ISTp try to get back together?

[idealistichick]

So I was finally able to type my ex and it turns out he is not ESTp but ISTp. The only problem is that we are in the process of getting back together and I'm not sure if I should just stop the relationship from happening again. Even though I know how conflicting relations are and what the outcome is going to be, I still want to be with him. I am lost at this point and I really don't know what I should do. My INFp friend said that I should cut him out of my life because just having in my life is unhealthy for me. So what do you guys think about the situation? Open to hear any of your opinions.

[Rocky]

My INFp friend said that I should cut him out of my life because just having in my life is unhealthy for me. So what do you guys think about the situation? Open to hear any of your opinions.

Don't listen to your friend.

[idealistichick]

My INFp friend said that I should cut him out of my life because just having in my life is unhealthy for me. So what do you guys think about the situation? Open to hear any of your opinions.

Don't listen to your friend.

She's only being protective of me in this sucky situation. She is right about it but then again I'm the type that has to experience something in order to actually believe it.

[Rocky]

I'm the type that has to experience something in order to actually believe it.

Good for you.

[jessica129]

If you want to get back together, just go for it. But keep in mind it might not work seeing as you've already broken up before. I've done that before..things are excellent when you first go back but then the same issues come up along with the bitterness about the 1st breakup. I couldn't seem to focus on anything else other than 'will it happen again'. But yeah, I don't think you should listen to people when it comes to your love life....you have your own mind, do what you want. But generally, if multiple people close to you are telling you to stay away, that's usually what you should do ; )

[Slacker]

Just go for it but keep your eyes open. The same advice would work for any relationship.

[Khamelion]

I'm the type that has to experience something in order to actually believe it.

I'm this way too And my close ENFj friend is as well, when I'm trying to help her with some crappy men. I let her skin her knee because I know she won't respond to my warnings, and then I'm there with a band aid and some neosporin afterwards

Anyhow, I'd say experience what you can, but don't tolerate abuse in any form. That where the line should always be drawn. Emotional is just as bad as physical, if not worse.

[xyz]

Run away! You'll turn our brains into angry mush.

[Ezra]

So I was finally able to type my ex and it turns out he is not ESTp but ISTp. The only problem is that we are in the process of getting back together and I'm not sure if I should just stop the relationship from happening again. Even though I know how conflicting relations are and what the outcome is going to be, I still want to be with him. I am lost at this point and I really don't know what I should do. My INFp friend said that I should cut him out of my life because just having in my life is unhealthy for me. So what do you guys think about the situation? Open to hear any of your opinions.

Well, your friend says it's unhealthy to be with him (if influenced by socionics, ignore her opinion). Socionics aside, if he truly is unhealthy for you, you should not bother, and socionics is merely an explanation as to why he is unhealthy for you (conlflictors: you are EIE, he is SLI).

[Jarno]

i've had a conflict relation for 4 years.

it was hell.

[xyz]

Why'd you stay for so long?

[idealistichick]

Thank you all for your replies. I'm indecisive about what I should do at this point. I'm thinking about getting him out of my life because I care about him so much and I end up reliving all of the moments I had with him over and over.

[force my hand]

Thank you all for your replies. I'm indecisive about what I should do at this point. I'm thinking about getting him out of my life because I care about him so much and I end up reliving all of the moments I had with him over and over.

No offense, but letting some half-baked theory like socionics get in the way is extremely retarded.


(typo)

[Slacker]

I don't know if I agree with the term "half-baked theory", but I still agree with force my hand because it's way too easy to mistype people, even if you assume the theory is "fully baked". Keep your eyes open and watch how you get along. But don't assume you have your types right. How often do people here decide after a year or two they've been mistyped? Don't bet your future on what you think your type is.

Also, my new advice for all young women is to read the book The Gift of Fear by Gavin de Becker. It's probably at your library because it was on the NY Times bestseller list quite a few years ago. It isn't a new book but every library would have had it at that point and probably still has it.

[idealistichick]

Thank you all for your replies. I'm indecisive about what I should do at this point. I'm thinking about getting him out of my life because I care about him so much and I end up reliving all of the moments I had with him over and over.

No offense, but letting some half-baked theory like socionics getting in the way is extremely retarded.

\

hey force my hand, I'm not basing my entire relationship just on Socionics. It hasn't worked out in the past but the only reason I am is because I really care about him. I dont act myself around him and it makes sense. Socionics just proves what goes wrong. It's a little more complicated than you think.

[force my hand]

Thank you all for your replies. I'm indecisive about what I should do at this point. I'm thinking about getting him out of my life because I care about him so much and I end up reliving all of the moments I had with him over and over.

No offense, but letting some half-baked theory like socionics getting in the way is extremely retarded.

\

hey force my hand, I'm not basing my entire relationship just on Socionics. It hasn't worked out in the past but the only reason I am is because I really care about him. I dont act myself around him and it makes sense. Socionics just proves what goes wrong. It's a little more complicated than you think.

I'm sure it is, but you're posting the situation on the internet for complete strangers to assess. I'm assuming you want some feedback? If you don't like what I'm saying, then just listen to the tone of your own posts.

[eliphalet]

I don't think you should completely cut him out of your life, I mean he's in the same college as us and he's pretty much around all the time, so that's a bit hard to do. Plus nothing has gone wrong so far, so ignore socionics and see what happens. But if it starts to go bad again, it's about time to forget about it. It's been way too long.

An idea... Try to see him as a new person than as the same guy from your freshman year in high school, you were both young when you first went out, and your feelings different. Think of it as a totally new experience, if that makes any sense. I dunno how helpful that is. Okay, I'll stop ruining your thread now, see ya

[xyz]

Spare you and him a few ulsers.

[lefty]

. So what do you guys think about the situation? Open to hear any of your opinions.

I think my first boyfriend in school was probably a delta either istp or estj. it was retarded and pointless. he may have had some attributes of what i was looking for in him, but im glad im not stuck in that relationship now.

i've worked closely with an istp. they are impossible and its impossible to be happy in much of any proximity to them. the best interactions with them is when they're serving you some food you dont have to spend the time cooking yourself.

i know someone online who may haev met and dated his conflict type. she may be his supervisory type...whatever it is i can see why without any background on the types people think its a good match, but its really like looking at the worst and least conscious parts of yourself and clearly disowning them into something very negative.

for example i think entjs contain some expeditor ability due to their ES IT functions (like the ESTP promoter/expeditor).
To hell with ISTP we do it our way. I hate working for ISTP chef's. They're real soulless bastards. All of them.

[lefty]

i also think it can be useful for an ENFJ to utilize her rational "wing" from type to time, or way of relating. ie. yes to cut them out. they will always stand in teh way of your personal development and they will always gain from it.

[xyz]

? Souless? It's been my experience that most ENFj's are fucking drama queens when it comes to EVERYTHING.

[jessica129]

Didn't know ISTP's could be hated that much...wow. But the feeling is mutual, i'm sure.

[zenbrat]

ISTp's aren't nearly that bad. They are polr-jabbingly honest though. Not for the faint of heart.