I haven't been around in awhile, but I'm wondering if you'd be so kind as to help me out with some type-related relationship advice..?
Here's the story:
A couple of months back I was in a bad way, physically and mentally, (drug addiction and resulting frustration.) I'd just parted ways with an ISTp, (my first ever relationship of duality,) in an awkward way--largely because I was in such a, well, bad state. That said, I'd never had a more deeply fulfilling relationship than with this ISTp. Our mutually increasing craziness, however, led to declines in trust, increasingly expressed anger, disrespect, and mind games.
(Yes, I know that all of this sounds bad--it was the first and, hopefully, only manifestation of this behavior in my life.)
Anyway, at the beginning of July, folowing the demise of the ENFp-ISTp relationship, I began to casually date an ESFp. (I met her at a graduation party.) However, secretly, I wanted to get back together with the ISTp--I missed everything about the ISTp, and was using the ESFp as leverage. (Very pretty leverage, but leverage nonetheless.)
*Yes, I know how sad all of this sounds. Pathetic, I agree.*
Anyway, I rubbed my new relationship in the ISTp's face, but the ISTp could've cared less. Thereafter I said some things that I regret--disrespectful swears, attacks on the ISTp's character, etc.
Although doing so felt good at the time, I now regret every word, and have for two months.
I totally alienated this wonderful, beautiful, one-of-a-kind ISTp... (I was told never to call or text again.) It was the biggest mistake of my life!
Last week my casual dating of the ESFp ended--we were still together when she moved back to college in Cali; however, she recently learned that I still loved the ISTp. (Essentially, she told me to F* off and I don't blame her at all.)
This ESFp is a great person, and I'd love to be friends with her once the dust settles--I imagine that we will. However, the ISTp: the situation haunts me--as as strongly as it did the day after it happened.
I no longer desire a love relationship with the ISTp--just communication. (Pathetic again, I know, but I found this relationship so enriching that I'll gladly eats its table scraps--the ISTp would agree too, I think, that the relationship was enriching.) That is to say, my intentions for both of us, the ENFp and ISTP, in making amends, are good.
I've apologized to the ISTp several times--a few times half-heartedly (borderling boastfully) in texts, (flouting the ISTp's orders against texting, thus enflaming the situation,) and yesterday in a long, heartfelt message via Myspace. (Super pathetic, I know--I've yet to receive a response.)
My question to all of you is: given an ISTp-type's tendencies, what's the best way to go about making amends..? And I don't mean in some cheesy flowers/chocolates sort of amends, but genuine amends?
I want this ISTp to feel genuinely loved and cared about, as my love is genuine.
Any insight into the situation would be helpful... Seriously, anything. Advice, tips, encouragement, (discouragement?) etc.
I know that I'm a jerk for telling off a great person in the first place--but I'd like a second chance to treat this ISTp right. Does anyone have any idea as to how to go about getting it?
Thanks everyone, for reading and hopefully respopnding. Sincerely, JuJu.