SLE-SEE comparative/kindred relations (ESTp & ESFp)

[zenbrat]

Comparative relations are only considered to have moderately fair compatability, but between ESTp and ESFp there seems to be a "moth to a flame" quality. The click even seems smoother and more compelling than duality.

Does anyone have experience with these relations? Do they look/seem dualistic or semi-dualistic on the surface?

Do comparative relations start out great then disintegrate? If so, how? Why?

[aka-kitsune]

Definitely weird!

I can quite confidently state that would *never* happen to me.

[Blaze]

yeah really must be Se overload.

i think moth to flame is a great way to describe comparative relations. don't know if it fits for all but it definitely fits for enfp-entp.

[Mea]

yeah really must be Se overload.

i think moth to flame is a great way to describe comparative relations. don't know if it fits for all but it definitely fits for enfp-entp.

Yes. I totally agree. I find ENTps really attractive. I'd describe my ENTp boyfriend like a drug. I can't get enough of him, but he's bad for me.

[aka-kitsune]

yeah really must be Se overload.

i think moth to flame is a great way to describe comparative relations. don't know if it fits for all but it definitely fits for enfp-entp.

I thought this analogy applied more to semi-duals:

For the observer, these relations may seem really passionate and loving. Relations of Semi-Duality can be compared with the moth and the flame.

From the 16types.info Relations descriptions. The comparative relations description mention "deceptive similarity". Like they're looking at a fun house mirror that's a bit distorting.

[Blaze]

it's just that i'm always incredibly attracted to enfp's we kind of perceive things the same way....and then we have these serious disagreements over values. honestly though i think enfp's are more offended by my Ti and Fi polr than i am by their Fi and Ti polr.

[Mea]

it's just that i'm always incredibly attracted to enfp's we kind of perceive things the same way....and then we have these serious disagreements over values. honestly though i think enfp's are more offended by my Ti and Fi polr than i am by their Fi and Ti polr.

Yea.

[aka-kitsune]

it's just that i'm always incredibly attracted to enfp's we kind of perceive things the same way....and then we have these serious disagreements over values. honestly though i think enfp's are more offended by my Ti and Fi polr than i am by their Fi and Ti polr.

This has been my experience with ESTps and ESFps, strangely enough. Not really sure why. We have all sorts of emotional commonalities, share odd little quirks and favorites, even can point to uncannily similar background events. (Of course, part of this may be generational, I suppose.)

But when we get to talking about what really matters, it's like we're from different planets. ESTps have generally thought I was foolishly new agey (one had a serious contempt for psychology and called it all "mental masturbation"). They've usually also dismissed my fondness for mystical things and were highly anti-spiritual, despite my pointing out that they often seemed curiously attracted to spiritual concept as well.

ESFp I haven't had much experience with, but the one I know now claims to be an atheist, but is fond of "spiritual" experiences.

I've always found the S-N divide to be an awkward one to bridge. The F-T one can be equally challenging.

[Blaze]

it's just that i'm always incredibly attracted to enfp's we kind of perceive things the same way....and then we have these serious disagreements over values. honestly though i think enfp's are more offended by my Ti and Fi polr than i am by their Fi and Ti polr.

This has been my experience with ESTps and ESFps, strangely enough. Not really sure why. We have all sorts of emotional commonalities, share odd little quirks and favorites, even can point to uncannily similar background events. (Of course, part of this may be generational, I suppose.)

But when we get to talking about what really matters, it's like we're from different planets. ESTps have generally thought I was foolishly new agey (one had a serious contempt for psychology and called it all "mental masturbation"). They've usually also dismissed my fondness for mystical things and were highly anti-spiritual, despite my pointing out that they often seemed curiously attracted to spiritual concept as well.

ESFp I haven't had much experience with, but the one I know now claims to be an atheist, but is fond of "spiritual" experiences.

I've always found the S-N divide to be an awkward one to bridge. The F-T one can be equally challenging.

*confused* wait, are you infp or esfp?

[aka-kitsune]

Not sure why it would be confusing, but I'm INFp. Perhaps I lost you when I went off on a tangent? My point was just that I have that experience of believing I'm on the same page with both of these types, when I'm so not. And it's just not a matter of comparative relations.

[zenbrat]

Herzy... your story is a great example of what I see in the ESTp-ESFp pair. Relations have a highly stimulating entertainment value but all of the underlying 'connection' that really matters never really happens. There always seems to be a conflict brewing.

diamond8... I have an ENTp flame too. It often feels like we're almost "there", then something happens to create instability all over again. We can't leave it alone though!

Mea... terribly addictive, those ENTp's . What part of the dynamic is bad for you? How do you think it relates to the comparative relations description?

[Suomea]

Hah, let me tell you a bit about one of the weirdest relations I've ever experienced. The guy is definately ESFp, so I guess this counts as a comparative relation.


One day, I was doing some shit at the school library, and I happened to be wearing a brown shirt that day. That ESFp guy was often there, and he also happened to be wearing a brown shirt. He noticed this, and was immediately like, "OMG HAI!! WE'RE BOTH WEARING BROWN SHIRTS ISN'T THAT SPECIAL LOLOLOL!! YOU'RE MY NEW BUDDY FROM NOW ON." So basically, from that day on, he would go out of his way to harass me and stuff. My ISTj friend insisted that he had a giant crush on me, but I didn't want to think that because I didn't find him attractive like that, you know? Fast forward a few months, and his friends convinced him to ask me out. That conversation went something like this:

ESFp: Uhh, hey there, Herzy.
Herzy: Haha, what now? (I look down, and his fly is unzippered, with his shirt tucked into his pants and the bottom of it is sticking way far out of his fly. He did this on purpose.)
ESFp: I just wanted to give you something. (ESFp pulls a condom out of his pocket. It's opened up and full of wildflowers and other assorted greenery.)
Herzy: Why would I want that? :P
ESFp: Well, uhh, I figured it would be useful for you. (He sticks it back in his pocket.) HEY ANYWAYS, WANNA COME TO THE MOVIES WITH ME TONIGHT?!?!
Herzy: (pauses for a second)
ESFp: What...? Are you saying that...
Herzy: So who else would be going too?
ESFp: ESTp, ENFj, blahblahblah...
Herzy: Alright, sounds good then. (I figured it would be platonic, actually).
ESFp: GREAT, LET ME WRITE DOWN YOUR NUMBER NOW. (ESFp pulls out a huge, hardcover Bible. :lol: He opens to the middle, so I give him my number, and he writes it smack dab in the middle of all the scripture.)

So I ended up going with him that night, and it ended up being a combination of really gross, really weird, and really funny. He showed up a couple of minutes late because he was busy getting ready. When he did show up, he was wearing this button down shirt that was unbuttoned quite far. There were little pieces of scotch tape stuck to his chest, and they were covered in hair. I'm like, "WTF is that shit?" ESFp goes, "What, don't you like my chest hair? IT'S SO MANLY, ISN'T IT?!" I'm like, "lol" and then my ESTp friend informs me that ESFp chopped off some of his pubes, and taped them to his chest in order to impress me. So needless to say, I was totally grossed out. So my ENFj friend ended up removing them for me, and all of us spent like 2 hours at the bookstore. We went to the softcore porno section, and proceeded to move some of the sex positions photography books to the kiddie section. :lol: I wanted to put some of them in the religious books section, but ESFp refused, saying that he'd go to Hell if he did (as if he wouldn't be going already). The rest of the night consisted of the ESFp and the ESTp guy acting out some of the sex positions in the books right in the middle of the store. I'm surprised we didn't get kicked out immediately.

To make a long story short, I still wasn't interested, and ESFp figured it out, so he kind of stopped harassing me after that. I still talk to him though if I'm bored because he never fails to make things hilarious. That's about it.

This is kinda what I ment by ESFp males getting rejected from the other thread before by the way...... That they are more than willing to go after girls and aggressively, but don't really always understand things or people completely......

[Blaze]

Not sure why it would be confusing, but I'm INFp. Perhaps I lost you when I went off on a tangent? My point was just that I have that experience of believing I'm on the same page with both of these types, when I'm so not. And it's just not a matter of comparative relations.

oh i thought you were saying you had a comparative relation with either estp or esfp, which is what got me confused.

but wouldn't you be close to being on the same page with your dual or semi-dual? i always thought duals understood each other pretty well or something. don't mind me, i'm just dense i guess...

[Blaze]

yeah really must be Se overload.

i think moth to flame is a great way to describe comparative relations. don't know if it fits for all but it definitely fits for enfp-entp.

I thought this analogy applied more to semi-duals:

If I fall in love with a uninterested ISTp female again... someone just shoot me...

huh. uninterested? i spose an istp could come across that way.

i never hook up with them for some reason. i think it's because i need Fe.

[Blaze]

If I fall in love with a uninterested ISTp female again... someone just shoot me...

huh. uninterested? i spose an istp could come across that way.

i never hook up with them for some reason. i think it's because i need Fe.

It's a total moth to flame thing for me... I kinda of got blindsided before I knew it. The hugest problem was we hung around the same circle but weren't part of the same circle for a long time. And I think we met a few times a few month or years apart each before we got into the same circle. At that point there might have been something between us, but it was all clouded by half memories and impressions.

Then this ESFp girl either sabotaged me or told me the truth that I never wanted to hear. Either way it completely destroyed any confidence I had in myself.

When I even think about this situation, I just want to turn my mind off.

In hindsight, it was never meant to be, even if the slim hope of something starting had happened. It would not have lasted, and if it did, I would just be holding her back.

Oh... one night she picked me up and hugged me... I really want to shut my mind off when I think about it. But I still haven't been able to stop thinking about it. Probably will consume me rest of my life.

huh sounds like it might have been promising but never really materialized? did the esfp chick steal you away from the istp one?

[ScarlettLux]

That's really interesting I've never heard of Comparative relations being described in such good, if still difficult terms - moth to a flame? I really did think that was Semi-Duality ... I dunno if my boyfriend and I are Comparatives, Beneficiaries, Semi Duals or even Super-Egos ... It's really hard to tell because most of the time I become EIE - like ... yet again I am questioning my true type. Based on a lot of answers to Expat's tests and inner delving into myself, I am seeing that it is only social anxiety that keeps me back in certain situations ... at heart, I love to be extroverted and LOVE attention. I think I have more of an hidden agenda as well.

Ehh, anyway, yeah ... anyone else have any other descriptions of Comparative? This relation is rarely discussed, I find.

[misutii]

they definitely seem to get along on the surface but at the same time harbour a confident distrust of the other, like i couldn't imagine an ESTp/ESFp long-term relationship but short-term flings that end with frustration are probly common, of course both will think they're the one 'playing' the other lol

[Khamelion]

My dad is an ESTp. We had big control problems. Me wanting to be in control of myself, and him wanting to control everything I did.

Only slight problems we come across now are...actually I was going to say he has a problem with being insensative and such (I guess weak Fi?) but, he's started dating someone who seems amazing for him (havn't tried to type her really) and that has pretty much disappated. He's started calling me sugar and using more pet names, a little more fluffy than usual I like it though, but I miss butting heads with him because it WAS fun...AFTER I turned 18 that is...

[discojoe]

My dad is an ESTp. We had big control problems. Me wanting to be in control of myself, and him wanting to control everything I did.

Only slight problems we come across now are...actually I was going to say he has a problem with being insensative and such (I guess weak Fi?) but, he's started dating someone who seems amazing for him (havn't tried to type her really) and that has pretty much disappated. He's started calling me sugar and using more pet names, a little more fluffy than usual I like it though, but I miss butting heads with him because it WAS fun...AFTER I turned 18 that is...

This is about comparatives, so you'd want to mention any experiences with ISTps.

Edited.

[Khamelion]

My dad is an ESTp. We had big control problems. Me wanting to be in control of myself, and him wanting to control everything I did.

Only slight problems we come across now are...actually I was going to say he has a problem with being insensative and such (I guess weak Fi?) but, he's started dating someone who seems amazing for him (havn't tried to type her really) and that has pretty much disappated. He's started calling me sugar and using more pet names, a little more fluffy than usual I like it though, but I miss butting heads with him because it WAS fun...AFTER I turned 18 that is...

This is about comparatives, so you'd want to mention any experiences with ISTps.

Edited.

Orly?


Edited.

[Blaze]

My dad is an ESTp. We had big control problems. Me wanting to be in control of myself, and him wanting to control everything I did.

Only slight problems we come across now are...actually I was going to say he has a problem with being insensative and such (I guess weak Fi?) but, he's started dating someone who seems amazing for him (havn't tried to type her really) and that has pretty much disappated. He's started calling me sugar and using more pet names, a little more fluffy than usual I like it though, but I miss butting heads with him because it WAS fun...AFTER I turned 18 that is...

This is about comparatives, so you'd want to mention any experiences with ISFps.

i thot she is esfp now? i can't keep up.

[Khamelion]

My dad is an ESTp. We had big control problems. Me wanting to be in control of myself, and him wanting to control everything I did.

Only slight problems we come across now are...actually I was going to say he has a problem with being insensative and such (I guess weak Fi?) but, he's started dating someone who seems amazing for him (havn't tried to type her really) and that has pretty much disappated. He's started calling me sugar and using more pet names, a little more fluffy than usual I like it though, but I miss butting heads with him because it WAS fun...AFTER I turned 18 that is...

This is about comparatives, so you'd want to mention any experiences with ISFps.

i thot she is esfp now? i can't keep up.

We're not going to talk about it anymore. I am what I am.

[Blaze]

My dad is an ESTp. We had big control problems. Me wanting to be in control of myself, and him wanting to control everything I did.

Only slight problems we come across now are...actually I was going to say he has a problem with being insensative and such (I guess weak Fi?) but, he's started dating someone who seems amazing for him (havn't tried to type her really) and that has pretty much disappated. He's started calling me sugar and using more pet names, a little more fluffy than usual I like it though, but I miss butting heads with him because it WAS fun...AFTER I turned 18 that is...

This is about comparatives, so you'd want to mention any experiences with ISFps.

i thot she is esfp now? i can't keep up.

We're not going to talk about it anymore. I am what I am.

that's cool i guess. did you know your friends here still talk about it though? at times on your behalf?

[Khamelion]

My dad is an ESTp. We had big control problems. Me wanting to be in control of myself, and him wanting to control everything I did.

Only slight problems we come across now are...actually I was going to say he has a problem with being insensative and such (I guess weak Fi?) but, he's started dating someone who seems amazing for him (havn't tried to type her really) and that has pretty much disappated. He's started calling me sugar and using more pet names, a little more fluffy than usual I like it though, but I miss butting heads with him because it WAS fun...AFTER I turned 18 that is...

This is about comparatives, so you'd want to mention any experiences with ISFps.

i thot she is esfp now? i can't keep up.

We're not going to talk about it anymore. I am what I am.

that's cool i guess. did you know your friends here still talk about it though? at times on your behalf?

huh?

[Joy]

I sent her a PM letting her know that you're ESFp and not INFp.

My dad is an ESTp. We had big control problems. Me wanting to be in control of myself, and him wanting to control everything I did.

Only slight problems we come across now are...actually I was going to say he has a problem with being insensative and such (I guess weak Fi?) but, he's started dating someone who seems amazing for him (havn't tried to type her really) and that has pretty much disappated. He's started calling me sugar and using more pet names, a little more fluffy than usual I like it though, but I miss butting heads with him because it WAS fun...AFTER I turned 18 that is...

This is about comparatives, so you'd want to mention any experiences with ISTps.

Edited.

eh?

[Khamelion]

I'm double confused.

[Joy]

it was after she asked you to let her know how illusionary relations worked out

[Khamelion]

did you know your friends here still talk about it though? at times on your behalf?

Er, don't even get what Joy means because I still don't understand this sentance. Which friends, Peter and Joy? Talking about me? Is that what this means?

Sorry I'm being sort of thick but I think the wording just threw me off.

[Joy]

It meant that I sent her a PM (and in my PM I was talking about you and your type).

[Khamelion]

Oh alright, I'm only single confused now.