(This isn't meant to be a comprehensive guide or anything, more like an idea to build on.)
The thing that hooks duals in the beginning of the relationship is the way partners use their 2nd function to fulfill the other's 6th function. Having our 6th function fulfilled and our 2nd function appreciated so much leads to a feeling of connectedness, like we've found exactly what we need.
While the 2nd/6th functions give the partnership energy, the 1st/5th functions give the partnership stability. We do not have a strong internal source of our 5th function nor our 6th function, but the 6th function can still appear strong. This is because our 6th function is something we actively seek out and find external sources of. Our 5th functions, however, are less visible and at the same time, a more integral need. It's something that we cannot provide for ourselves but are totally lost without.
We seek our 5th function from our duals in two ways: through use of our 1st function and use of our 3rd function. This connection between our 1st function and our 5th function is rather abstract and long term though. It's not as apparent as the connection between our 3rd function and 5th function.
When we need our 5th function from our dual, we often get it through use of our 3rd function. Our 3rd function is our duals 7th function. There are two primary ways in which we receive our 5th function from our duals through the use of our 3rd function:
- The first way is through our concern for addressing issues related to our belief that we need to use our 3rd functions to appease situations outside of our relationship with our duals. Our 3rd functions are conscious and we often feel that we are somehow obligated to meet others' demands related to our 3rd function. Our 3rd function is our duals' 7th function. Because our 7th function is generally one that we have limited patience for and see as subordinate to our 1st function, when we voice concerns related to our 3rd function, our dual responds by stating that the things we're concerned with don't really matter because concerns related to their 1st function are more important. By explaining this, they are fulfilling our 5th function with their 1st function. This is not always an easy process, however. We can be reluctant to let the concerns related to our 3rd function go, and because our 3rd function is our duals' 7th function, they are likely to get impatient with our insistence on somehow resolving related matters. We can be aggressive when it comes to problems related to our 7th function, so things can get rather tense.
- The second way is related to concerns we have with our partner (as opposed to concerns with situations outside the relationship). When there is a problem with needing more of our 5th function from our duals, we may "act up" with our 3rd function because we don't know how else to express our need. Our duals are usually able to see through this pretty easily though, and because they can tell that we're uncomfortable with using our 3rd functions and would rather not if we don't have to, they're less likely to get impatient and argue the point as it relates to their 7th function and more likely to just respond with their 1st function right away. The reason we don't feel a need to hang on to using our 3rd function is because the matter is just between us and our dual, so we don't feel a need to appease outside people or situations.
Our need for help related to matters of our 4th functions is much more difficult for us to express. Fortunately, our 4th function is our dual's 8th function, and the 8th function is one that's less irritating to deal with than the 7th function. When we are lacking something related to our 4th function, our duals are likely to just naturally provide what we cannot through the use of their 8th function. When it is something that they cannot do for us, they get us to do it through the use of their 2nd function. Because we respond well to our duals' use of their 2nd/our 6th function, we are likely to go along with it, relieved to avoid having to deal with our 4th function directly.