I know some of you must remember my "interesting fellow" thread a while back. Well, it's the same guy I'm posting about now and I am beyond frustrated with him. Sometimes we get along great, other times a total disaster... as if him and I can't understand each others' words or what have you ... really strange.
Well, for those that don't remember, I still can't figure out his type so : He is most definitely an IxTx that's all I know for sure. There is no doubting that. I can't figure out whether he is an INTp, INTj or perhaps ISTp (but rather far-fetched0
He is extremely reserved and quiet. A very highly expressed introvert. Has a lazy walk/feel to him.. some have described it as "dead" and I agree with that word to describe a first impression of him. He says he likes being quiet because it coorelates to him being calm ( wtf) and he likes being calm and not overly excited. This really points to Fe PoLR, does it not? Before, I thought he was an INTj seeking Fe but I really am doubting that now. He doesn't seem to like any type of overt emotional expression or even talking about emotions. He says he needs to rationalize every emotion to actually "feel" it.
He likes chess. He says he likes to figure out peoples' game plans by figuring out what their motive in the game is. He likes reading. In general, just a very solitary person. He said something strange ... how he likes to lead a group ... which makes no sense since he's so quiet and "follower" seeming... but yeah, he said he likes leading a group in a WORK situation. With a group of friends, he said it's really weird if everyone talks about the same topic ??? WTF? Is this preference?
He is really quite boring. He doesn't do much. It's killing the relationship. He doesn't seem to know how to read my obviously not so subtle cues about my emotional state. He just tries to deviate from the subject whenever I try to talk about how bored or bad I feel about this relationship, how it needs to change, etc. It's fucking annoying as fuck. It's like he doesn't even know anything is wrong. WTF?
Anyway. Has expressed his insecurities before when I've pried him with questions about it. Says he feels like everything about him is negative, can only think of negative ways to describe himself. He doesn't see how anyone would want to be with him. He also said it's much easier when girls take the initiative, physically.
There's the huge problem. He is definitely not the Aggressor I need. It's beyond frustrating to know that he overthinks about everything he says beforehand, and will not take action to kiss me, hug me, anything. He is just so scared and won't do anything until certain moments. I must admit, I never do anything either. I give a really bad message.. it's the Victim in me challenging him as if he were an Aggressor but I must understand he's not -- I act totally uninterested with physical affection and it really puts him off even more but deep down, I wish he'd just grab me forcefully and do what he wishes Man, I really need some in my life.
When we talk about lighthearted, non serious things, we get along great. We joke around, tease eachother a lot, almost in a spiteful way (well, on my side) We tend to sometimes misunderstand eachother though. However, it doesn't seem like we really have that "true" connection that I dream about ... maybe I'm just idealistic but it doesn't feel right to me. Actually, the main thing is the physical thing. If he improved on that, I think the entire relationship would automatically be 100x better.
I tried to explain something about introverts & extroverts to him today. I said the thing about batteries being recharged in different ways (introverts charging alone, extroverts charging with people) ... he did not understand what I was saying at all. I'm not sure if this is not valuing or because he started saying that didn't make sense, that was weird, was that my theory or someone elses'? It's like he doesn't trust things, or like theoretical things? He didn't like my example of the battery thing.
UGHSJKHGSG. I can't stand him sometimes.