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Thread: Male "Carefuls" at a bar

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    Suomea's Avatar
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    Default Male "Carefuls" at a bar.....

    Are any Male "Carefuls" good at picking up girls at a bar? Seems like most don't have any game except for a few ESTjs. And even then it's more just self confidence. To be honest actually the only types I seeing as being able to pick up girls consistently are the Eps. ENTps and ESTps especially. ESFp males do okay as long as no one there knows who they are so they don't have a reputation. They can throw themselves at girls and shower them with compliments and that seems to work for them some of the time. Don't know that I know any Male ENFp's though so I'm really not sure on them. Anyway.... just wondering. Oh and ENTj's and ENFj's probably would if they could get more aggressive.
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    What's a "careful?"

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    ESFj, ISFp, ESTj, ISTp....... They can be social and make a lot of friends but it seems most of the time it's always that...... friends.
    Suomea

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    hm well i dont think male ISxps have any trouble getting laid though. Maybe not in a bar setting and by picking up. Some ESFjs can be really smooth though and can play the more active role you're describing. Yes, ESTp and ENTp could be the most aggressive, and have the highest success/tries ratio. Then next, I agree, ESTjs.

    ... though i do know many ESTjs with no game.

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    from toronto with love ScarlettLux's Avatar
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    I totally agree that Exxps are most successful. Any of them. Not too sure why. Maybe they're just quicker on their feet with thinking about what to say to a girl, etc.


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    I'd say this deals more with the person than it does with the type.

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    The best person I know at this is an ISTp guy
    Obsequium amicos, veritas odium parit

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    Eps seem better at it because they tend to not care/notice and push for awhile - 'careful' guys don't get a blatant positive response right up front and quit too soon.
    SLI/ISTp -- Te subtype

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    Let's fly now Gilly's Avatar
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    The guys I know who have the best game are ESEs and EIEs, without a doubt.
    But, for a certainty, back then,
    We loved so many, yet hated so much,
    We hurt others and were hurt ourselves...

    Yet even then, we ran like the wind,
    Whilst our laughter echoed,
    Under cerulean skies...

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    Quote Originally Posted by Gilly
    The guys I know who have the best game are ESEs and EIEs, without a doubt.
    SEEs are far better
    Obsequium amicos, veritas odium parit

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    Let's fly now Gilly's Avatar
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    Not from what I've seen. IME SLEs actually have more success.
    But, for a certainty, back then,
    We loved so many, yet hated so much,
    We hurt others and were hurt ourselves...

    Yet even then, we ran like the wind,
    Whilst our laughter echoed,
    Under cerulean skies...

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    See what I mean everyone has a differing opinion.

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    Among the "carefuls" (i think you're referring to the erotic attitudes right?), I'd say ISTps.
    INTp
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mea
    Among the "carefuls" (i think you're referring to the erotic attitudes right?), I'd say ISTps.
    agreed.
    ***

    Not directed at Mea:

    The best pickup I ever had (as in him picking me up) was that ISTp I was with for a few months afterwards.
    An ESTj came close to doing the kinds of things the ISTp did, but was kind of off and too forceful. They are usually too loud for my tastes.
    ESFjs I wind up talking with and will give my number or agree to a date with....but my hearts not in it but I can't find any real reason to say "no". Like, 'this is a nice a person, he'd be fun to go to activities with, but i don't really see us as a potential match, but if i say so, he'll assume I'm saying he's not a good person, so how do i say no? oh damn, he wants an answer NOW...um...' "OK(?)".
    ISFps tend to be a little too passive or not as straight forward about what they are looking for or want for the moment. I find myself having to be the initiator when it comes to liking an ISFp. (NO, "initator" does not mean "aggressor" )
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    So... What were the pick up lines?
    INTp
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mea
    So... What were the pick up lines?
    anyone who actually has some game won't use one. :wink:

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    Quote Originally Posted by cracka
    Quote Originally Posted by Mea
    So... What were the pick up lines?
    anyone who actually has some game won't use one. :wink:
    Err, yes! But I'm very curious to know what the ISTp said.
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    woohoo ESTjs are supposed to be hot?
    Yay baby some girl just called me an ESTj last night.

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    Quote Originally Posted by JoshuaSamuel
    woohoo ESTjs are supposed to be hot?
    Yay baby some girl just called me an ESTj last night.
    really, I'd probably be really wierded out if someone actually brought up socionics to me if I were away from this forum...lol

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    Quote Originally Posted by JoshuaSamuel
    woohoo ESTjs are supposed to be hot?
    Yay baby some girl just called me an ESTj last night.
    ? Who?
    INTp
    sx/sp

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    Quote Originally Posted by cracka
    Quote Originally Posted by Mea
    So... What were the pick up lines?
    anyone who actually has some game won't use one. :wink:
    Like Hungry Hungry Hippoes?
    ...the human race will disappear. Other races will appear and disappear in turn. The sky will become icy and void, pierced by the feeble light of half-dead stars. Which will also disappear. Everything will disappear. And what human beings do is just as free of sense as the free motion of elementary particles. Good, evil, morality, feelings? Pure 'Victorian fictions'.

    INTp

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    Quote Originally Posted by FDG
    SEEs are far better
    edited.....will rewrite later
    Suomea

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    Ummmm...you need to re-learn Socionics. You are off BIG time.
    But, for a certainty, back then,
    We loved so many, yet hated so much,
    We hurt others and were hurt ourselves...

    Yet even then, we ran like the wind,
    Whilst our laughter echoed,
    Under cerulean skies...

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    It wasn't the ISTp who started talking to me, it was his friends. I was in line to get some water (many waitresses don't view a water drinker as someone worthy of attention...even though I do give tips to those who do, lol)

    Anyways, I had on a skort/jacket combo that for some reason his friends thought looked like a stewardess outfit from days gone by. They asked him if they were right. He's a pilot....I forgot the airline though. They were bragging about him being a pilot, and i thought they were..i dunno...teasing me somehow, checking for my naivete or something. They said some other things (they were actually pretty friendly even if I was unsure as to their "sincerity"). And then I was finally able to move closer to the bar to ask for my water. The ISTp got up, hehehe, so he could order another drink for himself. And when we got to the bar to make the order, he ordered for us both, then carried my drink to my table, then told me it certainly wasn't a stewardess outfit, i laughed (unsure if he was making fun of me...it wasn't ME who had thought it looked like one..but his comment left me unsure if he thought that was my intent or something). The female I was with (an estp bitch..in the literal sense of the word.. who could be fun to hang out with at times) started drilling him with questions. He didn't like her from the start. But stood at my side (no place to sit), and answered her questions. I didn't know what to do. I could sense he didn't like her, but I couldn't really figure out why he was still there!! Then he had his first sip of his drink, asked me if I wanted to dance, and set his drink down as soon as I said yes. For some reason, it kind of impressed me that he would leave a $10 full drink sitting on the table so he could dance with me... Oh, and I love love LOVED how he put his hand on the small of my back and guided me to the dance floors. He seemed to like touching...and i love that.

    Anyways, he spent the rest of the evening with me, took someone's chair so he could sit with us. Even made some jokey type stuff with the estp female. She's a crass person, and so the jokes were, uh...yeah. But he wasn't outright crass himself...just seemed as if he could appreciate that kind of humor. And then when the evening died down, he invited us both to go on a boat where some other friends of his were planning on taking out for a couple of hours. I was unsure about it (I was the driver and I was sleepy and don't drive well at night). But my friend wanted to go, and neither of us had ever been on a boat before. So he followed us to my friend's house so she could change and check on the sitter and her kids. The ISTp and I were talking outside by the cars. I was kinda nervous and unsure, mind going all over the place, nervous giggle, not really sure why this guy was being so nice to us..and so calm...and willing to tolerate my friend's attitude and manners. And out of the blue he lightly pushed me against my car and held my waist with one hand (giving me the freedom to move away if I chose to), and kissed me. It wasn't the sloppy kiss of a drunk, nor was it that insistent kiss of a guy who's expecting to get laid. It was basically a kiss that let me know he wanted me, but was willing to wait. I melted.

    Considering that night never went past a few kisses...though not much talking either...I was very surprised when he called me the next day to set up a dinner date for the next week (he was going to be out of town on a flight for a touch over a week). His emails were always short, but he wrote. His phone calls were also always short, but he'd call. It was like, just enough to remind me that he was still interested in seeing me, despite his busy schedule. And weren't the "I'm in town making a booty call" kind of thing.
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    from toronto with love ScarlettLux's Avatar
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    Wow ann, that sounds fabulous Good for you! Are you still with him? It sounds like he was pretty damn confident. I know a lot of SLIs that have mentioned being shy/unsure.


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    Johari
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    I wish female ISTP's were this attractive to the opposite sex.

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    Quote Originally Posted by jessica129
    I wish female ISTP's were this attractive to the opposite sex.
    Says the female who was voted as one of the most attractive chicks here...lol

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    Sounds like you scored yourself a winner ann.

    He prolly sought refuge with you from the estp bitch and later found out hey you're pretty cool!

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    actually, i was pretty messed up mentally at the time, and just couldn't relax, mind wouldn't shut up, and full of self doubt.
    we drifted apart...but he still came and helped me when I moved from the really crappy apt i lived in (it's the worse neighborhood of the whole town...and the cheapest rent too), and all i had to do was hesitantly ask (and this was almost a year afterwards). he seemed pretty happy to get me out of there.

    a couple of times we've seen each other in the bar (when I do go..which is less than once a year now..hehe), or pass each other on the streets. we'll nod, wave hi, my heart goes pitter patter, and then we move on with our day...and our lives.

    I actually haven't seen him since I met Richard (ISFp). And to be honest, I'm kinda glad. If anything at all could come between me and Richard, it would be my still strong attraction to the ISTp. It's a scary thought, cuz Richard has been the best thing for me, despite our differences.

    But I wouldn't have met Richard if I hadn't met the ISTp. He totally changed my outlook regarding men. And I swore to myself that I wouldn't settle (in the long run) for less. I didn't, and now I'm with someone who's very good for me.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Suomea
    Quote Originally Posted by FDG
    SEEs are far better
    edited.....will rewrite later
    yeah, the SEE comment threw me off a bit. i'm actually curious as to when you've seen this happen (can pm me if you'd like.)
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    Quote Originally Posted by implied
    Quote Originally Posted by Suomea
    Quote Originally Posted by FDG
    SEEs are far better
    edited.....will rewrite later
    yeah, the SEE comment threw me off a bit. i'm actually curious as to when you've seen this happen (can pm me if you'd like.)
    Me? Or him? I didn't see his comment...
    Obsequium amicos, veritas odium parit

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    Quote Originally Posted by FDG
    Quote Originally Posted by implied
    Quote Originally Posted by Suomea
    Quote Originally Posted by FDG
    SEEs are far better
    edited.....will rewrite later
    yeah, the SEE comment threw me off a bit. i'm actually curious as to when you've seen this happen (can pm me if you'd like.)
    Me? Or him? I didn't see his comment...
    I agree. SEE have that confidence mixed with interpersonal relations. Ive only met a couple of SEE guys but they do very well. One guy i know had a competition with his brother. They got with like 5-10 girls each in the one night. The SEE girl i knew would have no problems chatting with people.

    Btw the SEE guy i know does not shower girls with compliments. In fact he does the exact opposite. He treats them like absolute shit and they love it. Recently he asked his girlfriend to have a threesome with their roommate and she complied. Hes since dumped his girlfriend and found someone else.

    When it comes to the carefuls, i have seen both my ESTj and ISTp friends pick up easily. I cant imagine ISFp would want to do it but ive never met an ESFj guy. Actually i tell a lie i may have actually met one and this guy was pretty insane. He bagged like 60 chicks in a year. My ENTp friend said a lot of them were ugly though. lol
    ENFp (Unsure of Subtype)

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    Quote Originally Posted by meatburger
    Btw the SEE guy i know does not shower girls with compliments. In fact he does the exact opposite. He treats them like absolute shit and they love it.
    I do think that (the kind of girls we are speaking about, I guess) they generally do not care about what is being said, they just want the dick. My ISTp friends always treats them very nicely, whlist also teasing them/making fun of them a bit playfully. I don't see what's the pleasure in treating them like crap...
    Obsequium amicos, veritas odium parit

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    Quote Originally Posted by FDG
    Quote Originally Posted by meatburger
    Btw the SEE guy i know does not shower girls with compliments. In fact he does the exact opposite. He treats them like absolute shit and they love it.
    I do think that (the kind of girls we are speaking about, I guess) they generally do not care about what is being said, they just want the dick. My ISTp friends always treats them very nicely, whlist also teasing them/making fun of them a bit playfully. I don't see what's the pleasure in treating them like crap...
    Yeah he doesn't actually beat them or anything. In public he will make fun of them and berate them etc. The things he said are normally over the top though not just in jest. In private who knows he could be really nice to them.
    ENFp (Unsure of Subtype)

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    Quote Originally Posted by FDG
    Quote Originally Posted by implied
    Quote Originally Posted by Suomea
    Quote Originally Posted by FDG
    SEEs are far better
    edited.....will rewrite later
    yeah, the SEE comment threw me off a bit. i'm actually curious as to when you've seen this happen (can pm me if you'd like.)
    Me? Or him? I didn't see his comment...

    just that SEEs are good at chatting people up etc until they get a "reputation" for treating people like shit and people learn to stay away from them. sort of like what meatburger has noted here. i thought their forte was protecting their own reputations and generally covering their asses, though, which is why the comment confused me.
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    Quote Originally Posted by meatburger
    When it comes to the carefuls, i have seen both my ESTj and ISTp friends pick up easily. I cant imagine ISFp would want to do it but ive never met an ESFj guy. Actually i tell a lie i may have actually met one and this guy was pretty insane. He bagged like 60 chicks in a year. My ENTp friend said a lot of them were ugly though. lol
    Guess out of quality, fast, and cheap, you can only have 2.

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    Quote Originally Posted by LokiVanguard
    Quote Originally Posted by meatburger
    When it comes to the carefuls, i have seen both my ESTj and ISTp friends pick up easily. I cant imagine ISFp would want to do it but ive never met an ESFj guy. Actually i tell a lie i may have actually met one and this guy was pretty insane. He bagged like 60 chicks in a year. My ENTp friend said a lot of them were ugly though. lol
    Guess out of quality, fast, and cheap, you can only have 2.
    lol, holy triangle.
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    Quote Originally Posted by implied
    just that SEEs are good at chatting people up etc until they get a "reputation" for treating people like shit and people learn to stay away from them. sort of like what meatburger has noted here. i thought their forte was protecting their own reputations and generally covering their asses, though, which is why the comment confused me.
    I understand female ESFps a lot better then I think male ESFps so my Male post was littered with me moving ideas from female ESFps and transposing them to the male. I only have one Male ESFp friend really and I believe my freshman year roommate was probably an ESFp as well. Of the two subtypes there's the Se subtype (Elizabeth Taylor) which tends to be a little bit bitchier and the Fi subtype is generally nicer (maybe Tara Reid is an example of this?). Only the Elizabeth Taylor subtype will lash out at people seemingly unprovoked. Both have the ability to be charming but the Tara Reid subtype is the one that compliments people a lot. The Elizabeth Taylor subtype will much more rarely compliment anyone.

    ESFps love to be rejected. Not directly of course because then it will be met with Se aggression. But indirectly. So if an ESFp wants to have sex the best thing to attract that ESFp is to come up with a "lame" excuse not to have sex with them. My good female ESFp friend only has been in one really serious relationship since I've known her, and in that relationship of 2 or 3 years her boyfriend would rarely have sex with her. Like 75% of the time he'd reject her. This is an Se subtype girl by the way.

    My male ESFp friend is in a similar situation with a girl. I've never seen him stay attracted to any girl for very long at all and I've known him for ten years or so. But right now he's enthrawled with this one girl, who continually rejects him and barely gives him the time of day. He's gotten a couple times the reputation for being a jerk to women and he knows this. The problem doesn't occur in the beginning because he can make people like him a lot, and really affect their emotions. He's also amazingly good at covering his ass. But, the bad reputation occurs when the "web of lies" falls in on him. He's an Fi subtype I would assume by the way. He does pretty well with women in general..... similar to me but gets extremely jealous if I hook up with anyone, and will make up lies to make me less attracted to her. Why... I have no idea?

    My freshman year roommate was similar..... always lying and covering his ass. Really liked this one girl who wouldn't give him the time of day too. (And by really like... I mean is enthrawled with until she has sex with him.) But he liked her a lot and she never really had sex with him I don't think.

    Maybe you guys disagree with my interpretation of ESFps... but please let me know how if you guys do. Here's a list of ESFps I agree with..... let me know if you think most of them are wrong. If you disagree with one or two don't worry about it.... but if you think I'm off my rocker let me know.

    elizabeth taylor,
    elvis presley,
    britney spears,
    lindsay lohan,
    drew barrymore,
    tara reid,
    goldie hawn,
    sophia loren,
    sherilyn fenn (probably)
    leonardo decaprio (probably),
    nico rosberg (probably),
    paris hilton (probably),
    nick hogan (probably),
    ornella muti (probably),
    shirley temple (maybe),
    mena suvari (maybe).

    Oh and P.S. the last girl that rejected me was an INTp like 4 months ago in Europe and it was interesting because she continually gave me enough to go after her but gave me weird Ni rejections when I was aggressive. I could see that she liked that I was being aggressive and wanted me to be more aggressive but it was kinda pushing the limit of where I was comfortable..... haha oh well. But I can see how that would be exceedingly attractive to an ESFp. Anyway.... my 2 cents on ESFps.
    Suomea

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    i don't disagree with a lot of the ESFps you posted. the thing i was having issues with is that, reading your original post, i was reminded a lot of an ENTp i know (only other thing i could really see him as would be INTp himself.) the only thing that saves his "reputation" is that he circulates widely i think and perhaps he doesn't even care about building a social network of sorts. a generally sort of NT-ish limited social network + ability to change around his environment/contacts in a sort of EP-ish way. so i was surprised you were taking the position of the "good guy" who doesn't have bad intentions towards women.
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    Quote Originally Posted by implied
    i don't disagree with a lot of the ESFps you posted. the thing i was having issues with is that, reading your original post, i was reminded a lot of an ENTp i know (only other thing i could really see him as would be INTp himself.) the only thing that saves his "reputation" is that he circulates widely i think and perhaps he doesn't even care about building a social network of sorts. a generally sort of NT-ish limited social network + ability to change around his environment/contacts in a sort of EP-ish way. so i was surprised you were taking the position of the "good guy" who doesn't have bad intentions towards women.
    Glad you agree with the ESFps I posted. Just wanted to make sure I wasn't crazy with my typing.

    Well I think ENTps and ESFps can look very similar specifically in a social setting like a bar as I have seen people mistype them in my opinion. I'm not exactly sure what you mean by his reputation? Is he a jerk to most people? As for ENTps being "good guys" I don't think thats true of every single ENTp and definitely no ENTp is a good person all the time and no person out there for that matter no matter who they are is a good person all the time. And ENTps are not without their faults by any stretch of the imagination and are probably the most faulted of all the Alphas. But I do think that others view at least some of them as really good hearted people who at least want to attempt to do the right thing and that this image helps them with some girls (mainly other Alphas and Deltas). Some ENTps for being a T can have very soft even glowing eyes and why some are thought of as Fs. My subset of ENTps I know in real life is really small so let me know if you disagree. I'm not sure what you mean by bad intentions toward women though.....

    In regards to my original post... I think they are good at reading people and gaining people's trust. Some are good at building and escalating sexual tension. They are good at becoming the center of attention in the right environment and are good at adapting to a girl. They are great at playing mind games. They can also be destructive to themselves without Fe though and at times think the world is coming crashing down on them which doesn't help.
    Suomea

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