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Thread: The Feeling Function Divide: Fe | Fi

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    Default The Feeling Function Divide: Fe | Fi

    So I was at the banquet for the end of the day for a huge series of conferences, and we were out to dinner. It was interesting to see how the people divided. With the new recruits, which I was, they were mixed. And yet, the staff and senior members of the organization - who had already known each other for a while - they were clearly divided.

    The new people sat all over the place, but the senior members divided into 2 tables. One was clearly more orientated. And the other was very , save for one dominant, probably ESTp. I happened to sit down with a partner, and, the group joined us. Me and my partner easily bonded with the president ( dominant - INFj?) and another member, who appeared to be IXTp or possibly INFj. The president made a comment about the other people being 3 years old, so it seemed very delta. The Fe table was very into loudness and big jokes, emotional expression. That is eventually what drew the ESTp over there, and away from us, because we were focused on conversation between us, and also focusing on work and things to come. Our table was quieter and more intimate. The other table was loud and more jovial.

    Have you ever seen anything like this?
    Pre-2013 post are written with incomplete understanding.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Carla
    Yeah, I can imagine the scene you're talking about. Whenever I find myself with the table, I'm always kinda lookin' over my shoulder wishing I was with the guys :wink:.
    i've seen this. i just go over to the Fe table. more fun for me there.

    ILE

    those who are easily shocked.....should be shocked more often

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    Yes. I've experienced that.

    I had a choice to join the group or make friends with the ESFp. I chose the latter. Never regretted it.
    INTp
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    all the way!

    I like groups and their enthusiasm, but in smaller doses. I more often than not just sit back in these groups. Sometimes joining in, more often not.

    Fi on the other hand makes me very excited. I seriously seek out Fi people and Fi welcoming people, and try to establish a warm and personal atmosphere right away.


    Cuz I like it like that.

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    I just like everybody. Why do I have to limit myself to such stupid divides like F functions
    Obsequium amicos, veritas odium parit

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    Quote Originally Posted by diamond8
    Quote Originally Posted by Carla
    Yeah, I can imagine the scene you're talking about. Whenever I find myself with the table, I'm always kinda lookin' over my shoulder wishing I was with the guys :wink:.
    i've seen this. i just go over to the Fe table. more fun for me there.
    Yep you can never have too much !!!
    ISTj.

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    Quote Originally Posted by FDG
    I just like everybody. Why do I have to limit myself to such stupid divides like F functions
    you don't have to limit yourself.
    EII

    I'll tell you what
    there is plenty wrong with me
    but I fixed up a few old buildings
    and I've planted a few trees.

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    Quote Originally Posted by hkkmr
    groups sounds just right.
    I find them fair. They are the people I do not mind "passing time" with, or 'hanging out', because they are always fairly level - Si awareness. They are sort of the people I know I can always go to to chill out or have just a nice time with. They do not offer some of the serious aspects I can only get with Fi people, but it is nice to know that they are a safe harbor of sorts - and I try to show appreciation for that.
    Pre-2013 post are written with incomplete understanding.

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    i actually have no idea what you're talking about. :/ if you mean one table was rowdy... I would rather not be at that table.

    But.. sure I've seen people separate by functional preference, but it usually takes a little longer than one evening.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Ms. Kensington
    i actually have no idea what you're talking about. :/ if you mean one table was rowdy... I would rather not be at that table.
    I would far prefer to be at the quieter table. I am always totally lost and generally have no clue what to do in a rowdy, highly expressive type situation. I would much rather not be at any of the tables though.
    Socionics: XNFx
    MBTI: INFJ

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    I think this is interesting.

    Normally I would prefer and find myself at the quiet table, but lately I've been hanging out with the rowdies at work. After listening to so many dopey remarks and great openings, it's hard NOT to make jokes and get loud.
    SLI/ISTp -- Te subtype

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    Quote Originally Posted by Megan
    Quote Originally Posted by Ms. Kensington
    i actually have no idea what you're talking about. :/ if you mean one table was rowdy... I would rather not be at that table.
    I would far prefer to be at the quieter table. I am always totally lost and generally have no clue what to do in a rowdy, highly expressive type situation. I would much rather not be at any of the tables though.
    Why don't you know how to handle a highly expressive type situation? Do you become anxious?
    ISTj.

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    That seems to point away from the Beta NFs, Megan.
    Pre-2013 post are written with incomplete understanding.

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    I prefer a mix of and . Just because I'm a Socionics INFp doesn't mean I don't appreciate the functions that so-called opposing quadras have to give. I treasure the support and enthusiasm of the ESFp, the subdued yet powerful affection of the ENFp, and the steadfastness of the ISFj. To be honest, a lot of people in my quadra annoy the living daylights out of me, especially obnoxious and flighty ESTps, overwrought ENFjs, prickly ISTjs, and histrionic fellow INFps. is a great thing; the most loyal and steadfast people I've known in my life have been types.
    As an -type, however, the main problem I have with -types is that they always keep me guessing. I can get a general idea of how they're feeling, but I'd prefer if they'd just come out and say it. I don't like it when others keep their thoughts and emotions bottled up inside, and I like it even less when I'm expected to do so myself.
    INFp, Intuitive subtype, Enneagram 6w5
    Back in school and on semi-permanent hiatus from the forum

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    I'm not saying you can't have friends in the other side, I was just making a general comment about a naturally developing division I witnessed. I get along with people in all quadras.
    Pre-2013 post are written with incomplete understanding.

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    Quote Originally Posted by UDP
    I'm not saying you can't have friends in the other side, I was just making a general comment about a naturally developing division I witnessed. I get along with people in all quadras.
    No! There must be no division.
    Obsequium amicos, veritas odium parit

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    It doesn't matter what you think - that is what the reality of the situation was.
    Pre-2013 post are written with incomplete understanding.

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    Quote Originally Posted by uninspired
    As an -type, however, the main problem I have with -types is that they always keep me guessing. I can get a general idea of how they're feeling, but I'd prefer if they'd just come out and say it. I don't like it when others keep their thoughts and emotions bottled up inside, and I like it even less when I'm expected to do so myself.
    i agree with this assessment. when Fi types do communicate directly, they usually put some kind of spin on it, too, so you don't know exactly how they feel it its entirety. it's what they leave unsaid which could be annoying. i'd rather someone just come out and say what's on their mind. Fe values, i spose.

    ILE

    those who are easily shocked.....should be shocked more often

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    =! "rowdy or loud" table.
    =! "quiet and respectable" table.
    "Alpha Quadra subforum. You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy. We must be cautious." ~Obi-Wan Kenobi
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    Quote Originally Posted by diamond8
    Quote Originally Posted by uninspired
    As an -type, however, the main problem I have with -types is that they always keep me guessing. I can get a general idea of how they're feeling, but I'd prefer if they'd just come out and say it. I don't like it when others keep their thoughts and emotions bottled up inside, and I like it even less when I'm expected to do so myself.
    i agree with this assessment. when Fi types do communicate directly, they usually put some kind of spin on it, too, so you don't know exactly how they feel it its entirety. it's what they leave unsaid which could be annoying. i'd rather someone just come out and say what's on their mind. Fe values, i spose.

    Not so sure about that. IME, ESFjs and INFjs both have the same problem of not telling people their thoughts because of ethical reasons. An ESFj may be more visibly unsettled.
    Pre-2013 post are written with incomplete understanding.

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    Quote Originally Posted by hkkmr
    Quote Originally Posted by UDP
    Quote Originally Posted by hkkmr
    groups sounds just right.
    I find them fair. They are the people I do not mind "passing time" with, or 'hanging out', because they are always fairly level - Si awareness. They are sort of the people I know I can always go to to chill out or have just a nice time with. They do not offer some of the serious aspects I can only get with Fi people, but it is nice to know that they are a safe harbor of sorts - and I try to show appreciation for that.
    I can't stand Fi groups because people start talking about other people... the behind their back kinda of talk... At best well intentioned discussion of a problem.. at worst... well you don't want my opinion on that.
    Wow, really? Are you talking about gossiping? I hate that! You must've had some bad experiences.
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    Quote Originally Posted by uninspired
    I prefer a mix of and . Just because I'm a Socionics INFp doesn't mean I don't appreciate the functions that so-called opposing quadras have to give. I treasure the support and enthusiasm of the ESFp, the subdued yet powerful affection of the ENFp, and the steadfastness of the ISFj. To be honest, a lot of people in my quadra annoy the living daylights out of me, especially obnoxious and flighty ESTps, overwrought ENFjs, prickly ISTjs, and histrionic fellow INFps. is a great thing; the most loyal and steadfast people I've known in my life have been types.
    As an -type, however, the main problem I have with -types is that they always keep me guessing. I can get a general idea of how they're feeling, but I'd prefer if they'd just come out and say it. I don't like it when others keep their thoughts and emotions bottled up inside, and I like it even less when I'm expected to do so myself.
    Hmm. Interesting.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Logos
    =! "rowdy or loud" table.
    =! "quiet and respectable" table.
    Exactly!

    Also Mea, um, what is so interesting about what she said? I totally agree with her. Him?


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    Quote Originally Posted by ScarlettLux
    Quote Originally Posted by Logos
    =! "rowdy or loud" table.
    =! "quiet and respectable" table.
    Exactly!

    Also Mea, um, what is so interesting about what she said? I totally agree with her. Him?
    Interesting because I like the way she put it. That a mix of Fe & Fi is good.

    Like imagining a world without a certain type, or quadra, it could be disastrous. And that every type is needed in a society.
    (blabla, i shouldn't be over thinking it)

    Also, types from the same quadras can annoy each other. I agree with that.

    I generally agree with what she said, if I didn't misinterprete it. (umm he? I dunno.)
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    Quote Originally Posted by diamond8
    Quote Originally Posted by uninspired
    As an -type, however, the main problem I have with -types is that they always keep me guessing. I can get a general idea of how they're feeling, but I'd prefer if they'd just come out and say it. I don't like it when others keep their thoughts and emotions bottled up inside, and I like it even less when I'm expected to do so myself.
    i agree with this assessment. when Fi types do communicate directly, they usually put some kind of spin on it, too, so you don't know exactly how they feel it its entirety. it's what they leave unsaid which could be annoying. i'd rather someone just come out and say what's on their mind. Fe values, i spose.
    Yes, my mother (INFj) is this way. Putting a spin on everything. My brother and I would always roll our eyes (my dad too). Poor Mom. But I have known other types to bottle things up inside and leave plenty unsaid also. Like ISFps and ISTps.
    IEI-Fe 4w3

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    Quote Originally Posted by redbaron
    Quote Originally Posted by diamond8
    Quote Originally Posted by uninspired
    As an -type, however, the main problem I have with -types is that they always keep me guessing. I can get a general idea of how they're feeling, but I'd prefer if they'd just come out and say it. I don't like it when others keep their thoughts and emotions bottled up inside, and I like it even less when I'm expected to do so myself.
    i agree with this assessment. when Fi types do communicate directly, they usually put some kind of spin on it, too, so you don't know exactly how they feel it its entirety. it's what they leave unsaid which could be annoying. i'd rather someone just come out and say what's on their mind. Fe values, i spose.
    Yes, my mother (INFj) is this way. Putting a spin on everything. My brother and I would always roll our eyes (my dad too). Poor Mom. But I have known other types to bottle things up inside and leave plenty unsaid also. Like ISFps and ISTps.
    come to think of it, infp's are sometimes pretty er diplomatic, also. they might not say anything that could be perceived as negative about anybody else. my esfj daughter is always trying to be nice, too. maybe this issue isn't really an Fi v Fe thing. maybe it's a T v F thing, lol.

    ILE

    those who are easily shocked.....should be shocked more often

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    Quote Originally Posted by diamond8
    Quote Originally Posted by redbaron
    Quote Originally Posted by diamond8
    Quote Originally Posted by uninspired
    As an -type, however, the main problem I have with -types is that they always keep me guessing. I can get a general idea of how they're feeling, but I'd prefer if they'd just come out and say it. I don't like it when others keep their thoughts and emotions bottled up inside, and I like it even less when I'm expected to do so myself.
    i agree with this assessment. when Fi types do communicate directly, they usually put some kind of spin on it, too, so you don't know exactly how they feel it its entirety. it's what they leave unsaid which could be annoying. i'd rather someone just come out and say what's on their mind. Fe values, i spose.
    Yes, my mother (INFj) is this way. Putting a spin on everything. My brother and I would always roll our eyes (my dad too). Poor Mom. But I have known other types to bottle things up inside and leave plenty unsaid also. Like ISFps and ISTps.
    come to think of it, infp's are sometimes pretty er diplomatic, also. they might not say anything that could be perceived as negative about anybody else. my esfj daughter is always trying to be nice, too. maybe this issue isn't really an Fi v Fe thing. maybe it's a T v F thing, lol.
    Yes, I'm quite diplomatic, especially when I don't know people very well. But I have found that once I consider myself very good friends with someone, I do expect honesty and not constant hedging or making me guess.
    IEI-Fe 4w3

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    hmmm i could see this...kind of a beta value? you expect honesty from those you love and trust.

    by way of contrast, enfp's i know usually want you to kind of spin stuff regardless.

    ILE

    those who are easily shocked.....should be shocked more often

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    In a social atmosphere, I can enjoy both and . It's a matter of the individuals present.

    An atmosphere can be fun an inviting, but also obnoxious and frivolous.

    An atmosphere can be warm and courteous, but also oppressive and gloomy.

    Both atmospheres can be hostile and uninviting. Both can be interesting.

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    Quote Originally Posted by discojoe
    In a social atmosphere, I can enjoy both and . It's a matter of the individuals present.

    An atmosphere can be fun an inviting, but also obnoxious and frivolous.

    An atmosphere can be warm and courteous, but also oppressive and gloomy.

    Both atmospheres can be hostile and uninviting. Both can be interesting.
    Well put
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    Quote Originally Posted by Blaze
    come to think of it, infp's are sometimes pretty er diplomatic, also.
    They are probably the best at being able to be appreciated by their conflictors.

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    Quote Originally Posted by detail
    Quote Originally Posted by Blaze
    come to think of it, infp's are sometimes pretty er diplomatic, also.
    They are probably the best at being able to be appreciated by their conflictors.
    say a little more? sounds interesting.

    ILE

    those who are easily shocked.....should be shocked more often

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    Quote Originally Posted by detail
    Quote Originally Posted by Blaze
    come to think of it, infp's are sometimes pretty er diplomatic, also.
    They are probably the best at being able to be appreciated by their conflictors.
    Obsequium amicos, veritas odium parit

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    Quote Originally Posted by Blaze
    Quote Originally Posted by detail
    Quote Originally Posted by Blaze
    come to think of it, infp's are sometimes pretty er diplomatic, also.
    They are probably the best at being able to be appreciated by their conflictors.
    say a little more? sounds interesting.
    I noticed that those i know who are in contact with their conflictors can go to great length to act properly so that the relationship will run smoothly. They don't just say "fuck it" and move on. I have seen two particular cases where an INFp endured a lot of stress so that they can figure out how to not just cope with the relationship but actually being respected by an ESTj. Come to think of it, most INFps i know who have been in contact with both ESTjs and ESFjs seem to have more respect for ESTjs and care more about being in good terms with them.

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    many times i tried to think of anyone who didn't like infps.. even estjs. Also isfps work hard to keep the peace.. but i wouldn't be surprised if infps beat them at appreciating their conflictor.

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