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Thread: The best way of disposing of a body undetected? (legally)

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    Landlord of the Dog and Duck Subteigh's Avatar
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    Default The best way of disposing of a body undetected? (legally)

    Several Methods:

    Burning - you need a place to burn the deceased - outdoors, you risk being seen, indoors you'll leave traces around the building (i.e. the ceiling etc.).

    Disposing at sea - the further out, the better, because of tidal currents etc. The further out you go, the more it difficult it gets though, and the more likely you'll be seen. The body still survives, which means that other people playing the 'game' might still find it, if they know you have a boat and have bought a certain amount of petrol etc.

    Using acid to rot the body - Messy. You could use a mild acid, rather than get a strong one that might arise suspicion - but at the end of it all, you have to buy a new bath, and dispose of the old one, which may leave detectable traced if it is found.

    Putting the body into a rocket and sending it into space - this is a fave of mine - if someone sees you launching the rocket, it would be prohibitively expensive to get back from space. There are many things that could go wrong, though - the rocket might misfire and crash into the yard of your opponent playing the 'game', for one thing.
    EII-Ne
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    how about putting a rug over them? canabalism? UPS?

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    For my project, that isn't good enough - I have a lot at stake !

    I don't think sending it through the mail is a good idea - it leaves bad smells. If it gets lost, someone might open it. If I send it someone else, they might give me away to my opponents.

    If I eat the body, my opponents might suspect, and prove this through faecal samples.
    EII-Ne
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    well then I guess that leaves putting a rug over it. I suggest Persian.

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    Feed 'em to the pigs.
    "Alpha Quadra subforum. You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy. We must be cautious." ~Obi-Wan Kenobi
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    Quote Originally Posted by Logos
    Feed 'em to the pigs.
    Yes, I think that would be a good solution - just so long as you are a few days ahead of your 'opponent'.
    EII-Ne
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    can't they DNA test pig shit?

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    Yeah, but it would be easier to dispose of without arising suspicion.
    EII-Ne
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    I suppose you could eat the pigs afterward.

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    Landlord of the Dog and Duck Subteigh's Avatar
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    But then you would have to eat all the stomach and intestine contents - yuck!
    EII-Ne
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    Bury it in upstate New York.

    If it works for gangsters, it's good enough for you.
    SLI/ISTp -- Te subtype

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    Brick Top: You're always gonna have problems lifting a body in one piece. Apparently the best thing to do is cut up a corpse into six pieces and pile it all together.
    Sol: Would someone mind telling me, who are you?
    Brick Top: And when you got your six pieces, you gotta get rid of them, because it's no good leaving it in the deep freeze for your mum to discover, now is it? Then I hear the best thing to do is feed them to pigs. You got to starve the pigs for a few days, then the sight of a chopped-up body will look like curry to a pisshead. You gotta shave the heads of your victims, and pull the teeth out for the sake of the piggies' digestion. You could do this afterwards, of course, but you don't want to go sievin' through pig shit, now do you? They will go through bone like butter. You need at least sixteen pigs to finish the job in one sitting, so be wary of any man who keeps a pig farm. They will go through a body that weighs 200 pounds in about eight minutes. That means that a single pig can consume two pounds of uncooked flesh every minute. Hence the expression, "as greedy as a pig".

    Quote Originally Posted by Bionicgoat
    can't they DNA test pig shit?
    But who would look through pig shit for human DNA?
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    Default Re: The best way of disposing of a body undetected? (legally

    Quote Originally Posted by Subterranean
    Putting the body into a rocket and sending it into space - this is a fave of mine - if someone sees you launching the rocket, it would be prohibitively expensive to get back from space. There are many things that could go wrong, though - the rocket might misfire and crash into the yard of your opponent playing the 'game', for one thing.
    yes, this is a good route, and i predict it would be easy for you to set up the rocket misfiring or even a asteroid decoy aimed at the rocket. no one would suspect a thing when they found remnants of the decoy stuck to the trees on mars.
    whenever the dog and i see each other we both stop where we are. we regard each other with a mixture of sadness and suspicion and then we feign indifference.

    Jerry, The Zoo Story by Edward Albee

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    Quote Originally Posted by force my hand
    Bury it in upstate New York.

    If it works for gangsters, it's good enough for you.
    Thank you for that glowing assessment of my character.
    EII-Ne
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    Quote Originally Posted by Logos
    Brick Top: You're always gonna have problems lifting a body in one piece. Apparently the best thing to do is cut up a corpse into six pieces and pile it all together.
    Sol: Would someone mind telling me, who are you?
    Brick Top: And when you got your six pieces, you gotta get rid of them, because it's no good leaving it in the deep freeze for your mum to discover, now is it? Then I hear the best thing to do is feed them to pigs. You got to starve the pigs for a few days, then the sight of a chopped-up body will look like curry to a pisshead. You gotta shave the heads of your victims, and pull the teeth out for the sake of the piggies' digestion. You could do this afterwards, of course, but you don't want to go sievin' through pig shit, now do you? They will go through bone like butter. You need at least sixteen pigs to finish the job in one sitting, so be wary of any man who keeps a pig farm. They will go through a body that weighs 200 pounds in about eight minutes. That means that a single pig can consume two pounds of uncooked flesh every minute. Hence the expression, "as greedy as a pig".
    'like curry to a pisshead'
    EII-Ne
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    Creepy-Diana

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    .

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    Quote Originally Posted by Diana
    A human body?

    Remove flesh and run through meat grinder so it no longer appears human, feed hambuger to stray animals. Now the bones, perhaps a woodchipper and

    . not sure what I was going to write got distracted making dinner.
    I hope you weren't describing the dinner you're making

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    Quote Originally Posted by Bionicgoat
    Quote Originally Posted by Diana
    A human body?

    Remove flesh and run through meat grinder so it no longer appears human, feed hambuger to stray animals. Now the bones, perhaps a woodchipper and

    . not sure what I was going to write got distracted making dinner.
    I hope you weren't describing the dinner you're making
    Not unless you eat Steve Buscemi.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Logos
    Brick Top: You're always gonna have problems lifting a body in one piece. Apparently the best thing to do is cut up a corpse into six pieces and pile it all together.
    Sol: Would someone mind telling me, who are you?
    Brick Top: And when you got your six pieces, you gotta get rid of them, because it's no good leaving it in the deep freeze for your mum to discover, now is it? Then I hear the best thing to do is feed them to pigs. You got to starve the pigs for a few days, then the sight of a chopped-up body will look like curry to a pisshead. You gotta shave the heads of your victims, and pull the teeth out for the sake of the piggies' digestion. You could do this afterwards, of course, but you don't want to go sievin' through pig shit, now do you? They will go through bone like butter. You need at least sixteen pigs to finish the job in one sitting, so be wary of any man who keeps a pig farm. They will go through a body that weighs 200 pounds in about eight minutes. That means that a single pig can consume two pounds of uncooked flesh every minute. Hence the expression, "as greedy as a pig".
    I was waiting on the reference post to your post about feeding them to pigs... :wink: I almost looked for this earlier but I had a thought about a blueberry muffin that I couldn't shake and by the time I got back to my cubicle i was thinking about shitty drivers and forgot about this thread.

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    .

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    Default Re: The best way of disposing of a body undetected? (legally

    Quote Originally Posted by Subterranean
    Several Methods:

    Putting the body into a rocket and sending it into space - this is a fave of mine - if someone sees you launching the rocket, it would be prohibitively expensive to get back from space. There are many things that could go wrong, though - the rocket might misfire and crash into the yard of your opponent playing the 'game', for one thing.
    This was in fact my first idea right before opening the thread.

    Burning... I'm not so sure that would work. But burning + acid on the ashes might.

    Purely hypothetically speaking.
    Quote Originally Posted by Logos
    Holy mud-wrestling bipolar donkeys, Batman!

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    do you have any idea how bad a burning body is going to smell? I think I'd do just about anything before I'd burn it.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Bionicgoat
    do you have any idea how bad a burning body is going to smell?
    So do it in your backyard. That won't arouse any suspicion at all.
    Quote Originally Posted by Logos
    Holy mud-wrestling bipolar donkeys, Batman!

    Retired from posting and drawing Social Security. E-mail or PM to contact.


    I pity your souls

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    Quote Originally Posted by Elro
    Quote Originally Posted by Subterranean
    Several Methods:

    Putting the body into a rocket and sending it into space - this is a fave of mine - if someone sees you launching the rocket, it would be prohibitively expensive to get back from space. There are many things that could go wrong, though - the rocket might misfire and crash into the yard of your opponent playing the 'game', for one thing.
    This was in fact my first idea right before opening the thread.

    Burning... I'm not so sure that would work. But burning + acid on the ashes might.

    Purely hypothetically speaking.
    Purely hypothetically...of course.

    P.S. I like the pic in your sig .
    EII-Ne
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    freeze the body with liquid nitrogen and shatter it, pick up the pieces and toss them into the ocean
    entp-ti 6w7

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    Amish outhouse...believe me, it would go completely undetected in an area never considered while decomposing quickly!

  27. #27

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    Weight it down with chains and cinder blocks, and drop it down into an abandoned iron ore mine shaft... I know of one that is 800 feet straight down, into an large and deep "pond" of acid rich sulfur water..

    That is how I would do it...

    Talk to me nice, I will provide a map, and photos of the place...

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    Quote Originally Posted by mooveefone
    freeze the body with liquid nitrogen and shatter it, pick up the pieces and toss them into the ocean
    I'm late to the party, but I was also going to suggest liquid nitrogen. Don't throw the pieces into the ocean, though. After you shatter the body, stick the pieces into a dehydrator, leaving you with a fine powder that should be rather difficult to run DNA tests on. Use said powder as a mulch, a cosmetic, or even gritting down your driveway in the winter!
    INTJ.
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    http://www.working-minds.com/money.htm

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    giant slingshot

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    I've decided that the best option would be to put the body down an active volcano.
    EII-Ne
    5w4 or 1w9 Sp/So

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    Quote Originally Posted by Subterranean
    I've decided that the best option would be to put the body down an active volcano.
    I like it!
    "Alpha Quadra subforum. You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy. We must be cautious." ~Obi-Wan Kenobi
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    Quote Originally Posted by Logos
    Quote Originally Posted by Subterranean
    I've decided that the best option would be to put the body down an active volcano.
    I like it!
    And so Logos was never seen again.
    EII-Ne
    5w4 or 1w9 Sp/So

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    Quote Originally Posted by Subterranean
    Quote Originally Posted by Logos
    Quote Originally Posted by Subterranean
    I've decided that the best option would be to put the body down an active volcano.
    I like it!
    And so Logos was never seen again.
    More likely my victims.
    "Alpha Quadra subforum. You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy. We must be cautious." ~Obi-Wan Kenobi
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    Just so long as you don't do anything morally wrong...or more importantly, anything that might risk imprisonment.
    EII-Ne
    5w4 or 1w9 Sp/So

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