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Thread: Fear of change

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    redbaron's Avatar
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    Default Fear of change

    What types fear change the most--is this a type-related thing? I don't mean necessarily big things like moving or changing jobs or getting married but things like getting upset with your husband when he shaves his beard because he's had it for 20 years. Or feeling shaky at the idea that your daughter will soon be applying to colleges? That type of change. Weak or something? Would this be likely for an INFj?
    IEI-Fe 4w3

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    I do not like change.

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    The things that I do in leisure require a lot of change to keep me interested, but in terms of major life conditions, I hate change.
    MAYBE I'LL BREAK DOWN!!!


    Quote Originally Posted by vague
    Rocky's posts are as enjoyable as having wisdom teeth removed.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Rocky
    The things that I do in leisure require a lot of change to keep me interested, but in terms of major life conditions, I hate change.
    Sorry Rocky, I forgot what type you are!
    IEI-Fe 4w3

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    i think IJ's would fear change the most.

    ILE

    those who are easily shocked.....should be shocked more often

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    Quote Originally Posted by redbaron
    Quote Originally Posted by Rocky
    The things that I do in leisure require a lot of change to keep me interested, but in terms of major life conditions, I hate change.
    Sorry Rocky, I forgot what type you are!
    http://the16types.info/forums/viewtopic.php?t=13359
    MAYBE I'LL BREAK DOWN!!!


    Quote Originally Posted by vague
    Rocky's posts are as enjoyable as having wisdom teeth removed.

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    Quote Originally Posted by diamond8
    i think IJ's would fear change the most.
    This is what I was kind of thinking. I have a friend who's INFj (which my mother is also) and she really hates change like that. Why is that?
    IEI-Fe 4w3

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    If I want something to change, generally I change it, unless there is some extentuating circumstance preventing me from doing so or some kind of obvious disincentive. That said, when other people try to change things that affect me, especially without my permission, it grates on my nerves a lot.
    But, for a certainty, back then,
    We loved so many, yet hated so much,
    We hurt others and were hurt ourselves...

    Yet even then, we ran like the wind,
    Whilst our laughter echoed,
    Under cerulean skies...

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    Quote Originally Posted by Rocky
    Quote Originally Posted by redbaron
    Quote Originally Posted by Rocky
    The things that I do in leisure require a lot of change to keep me interested, but in terms of major life conditions, I hate change.
    Sorry Rocky, I forgot what type you are!
    http://the16types.info/forums/viewtopic.php?t=13359
    Okay so ISTp or ISTj, eh? Have you decided yet in your own mind? (not that you need to, just curious)
    IEI-Fe 4w3

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    Quote Originally Posted by redbaron
    Quote Originally Posted by Rocky
    Quote Originally Posted by redbaron
    Quote Originally Posted by Rocky
    The things that I do in leisure require a lot of change to keep me interested, but in terms of major life conditions, I hate change.
    Sorry Rocky, I forgot what type you are!
    http://the16types.info/forums/viewtopic.php?t=13359
    Okay so ISTp or ISTj, eh? Have you decided yet in your own mind? (not that you need to, just curious)
    Basically, now I think I'm an Introverted Thinking type, though I don't claim to know my socionics type.
    MAYBE I'LL BREAK DOWN!!!


    Quote Originally Posted by vague
    Rocky's posts are as enjoyable as having wisdom teeth removed.

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    Landlord of the Dog and Duck Subteigh's Avatar
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    I don't like change (like a change of working environment etc.) because I feel I was coping just fine before, and I don't want to be removed from a safe environment to an unknown one.
    EII-Ne
    5w4 or 1w9 Sp/So

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    Creepy-bg

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    I do Ok with pennies and nickels, but quarters scare the shit out of me.

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    Quote Originally Posted by redbaron
    Quote Originally Posted by diamond8
    i think IJ's would fear change the most.
    This is what I was kind of thinking. I have a friend who's INFj (which my mother is also) and she really hates change like that. Why is that?
    not sure...i was thinking of the IJ types that i know and they're all resistent to change. i think there's something at wikisocion about IJ temperaments and change that explains it pretty well....

    IJs are both static and rational, so they see reality as mostly not changing and when it does, it's in abrupt "leaps" from one state to another. An IJ draws inner stability from a stable reality, especially as seen through his leading function. That makes him confident that things will probably remain as they are despite what he sees as minor disturbances; periods of clear upheaval are very disturbing and the individual is anxious that things will "settle down" one way or the other soon enough.

    As introverts, IJs tend to be calm and relaxed about initiating relationships with other people, mostly assuming that others will take the initiative, but will be more inclined to try to make sure a relationship is maintained once established.
    it doesn't really say they don't like change, only that they don't see it coming...and i'd guess therefore they don't like it when it comes especially abruptly.

    If I want something to change, generally I change it, unless there is some extentuating circumstance preventing me from doing so or some kind of obvious disincentive. That said, when other people try to change things that affect me, especially without my permission, it grates on my nerves a lot.
    i relate to this. i like it when i change things which i'm constantly doing. but i don't like having to adapt to changes that other people make that i don't agree with. but i'd have to say this is actually changing...i care less about it now than i ever used to. what's the point things change all the time just flow, man, :wink:

    ILE

    those who are easily shocked.....should be shocked more often

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    Quote Originally Posted by Bionicgoat
    I do Ok with pennies and nickels, but quarters scare the shit out of me.


    That is totally something my dad would say. Totally. (he's ISFp)
    IEI-Fe 4w3

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    Quote Originally Posted by diamond8
    Quote Originally Posted by redbaron
    Quote Originally Posted by diamond8
    i think IJ's would fear change the most.
    This is what I was kind of thinking. I have a friend who's INFj (which my mother is also) and she really hates change like that. Why is that?
    not sure...i was thinking of the IJ types that i know and they're all resistent to change. i think there's something at wikisocion about IJ temperaments and change that explains it pretty well....

    IJs are both static and rational, so they see reality as mostly not changing and when it does, it's in abrupt "leaps" from one state to another. An IJ draws inner stability from a stable reality, especially as seen through his leading function. That makes him confident that things will probably remain as they are despite what he sees as minor disturbances; periods of clear upheaval are very disturbing and the individual is anxious that things will "settle down" one way or the other soon enough.

    As introverts, IJs tend to be calm and relaxed about initiating relationships with other people, mostly assuming that others will take the initiative, but will be more inclined to try to make sure a relationship is maintained once established.
    it doesn't really say they don't like change, only that they don't see it coming...and i'd guess therefore they don't like it when it comes especially abruptly.
    Thanks, yeah that's helpful. I think the person I'm thinking of is def. INFj. The stability thing and anxiousness. Yup.
    IEI-Fe 4w3

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    *smiles* YW redbaron!

    ILE

    those who are easily shocked.....should be shocked more often

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    Quote Originally Posted by Rocky
    The things that I do in leisure require a lot of change to keep me interested, but in terms of major life conditions, I hate change.
    That about sums it up for me too. Along the lines of I can handle my own initiation of change (novelty) or shake up a routine (boredom or tedium). But change as in, life changes that pull the comfy rug out from under me, I do not "roll with" at all easily.
    socio: INFp - IEI
    ennea: 4w5 sp/sx

    **********

    Quote Originally Posted by Mark Twain
    Only kings, presidents, editors, and people with tapeworms have the right to use the editorial 'we'.

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    Quote Originally Posted by aka-kitsune
    Quote Originally Posted by Rocky
    The things that I do in leisure require a lot of change to keep me interested, but in terms of major life conditions, I hate change.
    That about sums it up for me too. ..
    Me 2. Couldn't have said it better myself.
    “Whether we fall by ambition, blood, or lust, like diamonds we are cut with our own dust.”

    Quote Originally Posted by Gilly
    You've done yourself a huge favor developmentally by mustering the balls to do something really fucking scary... in about the most vulnerable situation possible.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Winterpark
    Quote Originally Posted by aka-kitsune
    Quote Originally Posted by Rocky
    The things that I do in leisure require a lot of change to keep me interested, but in terms of major life conditions, I hate change.
    That about sums it up for me too. ..
    Me 2. Couldn't have said it better myself.
    Really interesting how many people feel this way. I think I feel more like diamond on this. Not so worried about change, even big change. But maybe that's because we're a bit older and have been through some of it?

    But obviously some of it is temperament since the INFj I'm thinking of who hates change is in her late 40s.
    IEI-Fe 4w3

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    yeah redbaron. don't sweat the small stuff for sure. hahaha

    there are no new ideas, only recycled old ones. when i think like this, change doesn't bother me at all.

    ILE

    those who are easily shocked.....should be shocked more often

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    Quote Originally Posted by diamond8
    yeah redbaron. don't sweat the small stuff for sure. hahaha

    there are no new ideas, only recycled old ones. when i think like this, change doesn't bother me at all.
    I'll bet it could be our irrational temperament that makes us feel this way? I wonder how many ps think like we do vs. js.
    IEI-Fe 4w3

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    Quote Originally Posted by redbaron
    Quote Originally Posted by diamond8
    yeah redbaron. don't sweat the small stuff for sure. hahaha

    there are no new ideas, only recycled old ones. when i think like this, change doesn't bother me at all.
    I'll bet it could be our irrational temperament that makes us feel this way? I wonder how many ps think like we do vs. js.
    yes it could definitely be the irrational thing. or getting older. or my infp influencing me again. he's so effing relaxing, :wink:

    ILE

    those who are easily shocked.....should be shocked more often

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    Quote Originally Posted by diamond8
    Quote Originally Posted by redbaron
    Quote Originally Posted by diamond8
    yeah redbaron. don't sweat the small stuff for sure. hahaha

    there are no new ideas, only recycled old ones. when i think like this, change doesn't bother me at all.
    I'll bet it could be our irrational temperament that makes us feel this way? I wonder how many ps think like we do vs. js.
    yes it could definitely be the irrational thing. or getting older. or my infp influencing me again. he's so effing relaxing, :wink:
    yeah we do have that effect, don't we. Good. I'm glad things are going well with the two of you!
    IEI-Fe 4w3

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    Quote Originally Posted by redbaron
    But obviously some of it is temperament since the INFj I'm thinking of who hates change is in her late 40s.
    Well, the only temperament that has expressed the same sentiments here until now is IP, and "irrationals". (aka-kitsune, me, Rocky)
    “Whether we fall by ambition, blood, or lust, like diamonds we are cut with our own dust.”

    Quote Originally Posted by Gilly
    You've done yourself a huge favor developmentally by mustering the balls to do something really fucking scary... in about the most vulnerable situation possible.

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    the only change my daughter will accept without a fight is the change she initiates herself.
    as I've aged, I've become less willing to adapt to someone else's changes that affect me....but I attribute it to learning to assert my self instead of allowing someone else to assert themselves over me.
    IEE 649 sx/sp cp

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    Quote Originally Posted by Winterpark
    Quote Originally Posted by redbaron
    But obviously some of it is temperament since the INFj I'm thinking of who hates change is in her late 40s.
    Well, the only temperament that has expressed the same sentiments here until now is IP, and "irrationals". (aka-kitsune, me, Rocky)
    Good point. (Although I thought Rocky wasn't exactly sure of his type :wink: )
    IEI-Fe 4w3

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    Quote Originally Posted by redbaron
    (Although I thought Rocky wasn't exactly sure of his type :wink: )
    Oh yes he is. He's just being a bitch, playing around with us.
    “Whether we fall by ambition, blood, or lust, like diamonds we are cut with our own dust.”

    Quote Originally Posted by Gilly
    You've done yourself a huge favor developmentally by mustering the balls to do something really fucking scary... in about the most vulnerable situation possible.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Winterpark
    Quote Originally Posted by redbaron
    (Although I thought Rocky wasn't exactly sure of his type :wink: )
    Oh yes he is. He's just being a bitch, playing around with us.
    IEI-Fe 4w3

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    i love change, change is good. what i dont like is when things change too rapidly or too slowly.

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    Quote Originally Posted by LokiVanguard
    i love change, change is good. what i dont like is when things change too rapidly or too slowly.
    Hmmm, yeah I can understand that. I mean an instant death of a loved one would be bad. On the other hand, Alzheimer's disease would also be bad. (ugh, sorry for the morbid example. Not sure why those things popped into my head)
    IEI-Fe 4w3

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    Quote Originally Posted by redbaron
    Quote Originally Posted by Winterpark
    Quote Originally Posted by redbaron
    But obviously some of it is temperament since the INFj I'm thinking of who hates change is in her late 40s.
    Well, the only temperament that has expressed the same sentiments here until now is IP, and "irrationals". (aka-kitsune, me, Rocky)
    Good point. (Although I thought Rocky wasn't exactly sure of his type :wink: )
    I'm sure Slacker Mom thinks I'm all too similar to her istp husband.

    I'm sure most other people on this forum think I'm more istj.

    I'm sure I dislike neither enfj nor enfp.

    I'm sure where my natural functions are and what I've had learned over the years.

    And yes, I'm sure I'm a bitch.


    But I'm unsure how that adds up in socionico-speak.
    MAYBE I'LL BREAK DOWN!!!


    Quote Originally Posted by vague
    Rocky's posts are as enjoyable as having wisdom teeth removed.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Rocky
    Quote Originally Posted by redbaron
    Quote Originally Posted by Winterpark
    Quote Originally Posted by redbaron
    But obviously some of it is temperament since the INFj I'm thinking of who hates change is in her late 40s.
    Well, the only temperament that has expressed the same sentiments here until now is IP, and "irrationals". (aka-kitsune, me, Rocky)
    Good point. (Although I thought Rocky wasn't exactly sure of his type :wink: )
    I'm sure Slacker Mom thinks I'm all too similar to her istp husband.

    I'm sure most other people on this forum think I'm more istj.

    I'm sure I dislike neither enfj nor enfp.

    I'm sure where my natural functions are and what I've had learned over the years.

    And yes, I'm sure I'm a bitch.


    But I'm unsure how that adds up in socionico-speak.
    It basically adds up to you being a freak of nature. I suggest its because you were born in chernobyl as the reactor exploded. So your like a more evolved form of man.

    I do resist change a little as im a little jumpy and nervous, but im usually delighted with it and adapt to it well. I find change is renewing and expanding.

    My ENTj friend annoys me as he is so unoriginal. Always playing poker at his house, watching football or seeing a movie. I see him as very resistant to change. He likes to excell at things he knows well but never wants to try a new bar or new computer game etc.
    ENFp (Unsure of Subtype)

    "And the day came when the risk it took to remain closed in a bud became more painful than the risk it took to blossom." - Anaďs Nin

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    I think this will conflict with me being LSI, but I love radical changes. Like moving to another city or another country by myself... I feel melancholic when I am about to leave, but then it's extremely stimulating. I want to do it again, as soon as I can!
    But I think it's partly because I don't get attached to things or people, and my family is always there no matter what.
    LSI

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    Quote Originally Posted by PotatoSpirit
    Like moving to another city or another country by myself... I feel melancholic when I am about to leave,
    "Melancholic"?

    I get tense and anxious.
    MAYBE I'LL BREAK DOWN!!!


    Quote Originally Posted by vague
    Rocky's posts are as enjoyable as having wisdom teeth removed.

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    That depends on many things like:

    if I change and I don't have strings attached to the place I'm leaving, no problem at all
    if there are strings attached, I'd prefer the strongest strings to come with me, otherwise it can be really painful
    Obsequium amicos, veritas odium parit

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    Quote Originally Posted by Rocky
    "Melancholic"?

    I get tense and anxious.
    Yeah... I start thinking of all the good things I have there, knowing that even if I'll happen to come back it's never gonna be the same. It's not totally unpleasant. You know that Green Day song, Good Riddance?
    Definitely not anxious, what's ahead of me is good... it's the past leaving that's sad.
    LSI

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    The Iniquitous inumbra's Avatar
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    I find that all things change always... reality is impermanent and in a constant state of flux... so I don't know... I guess I just go with it. It is somewhat freeing... free from structures and routines that confine and trap... sometimes it's difficult if it's a major life change, but even if it hurts, it is only the way of learning to let go of what I am attached to... as Buddha said, attachment and desire are the causes of suffering. If I suffer due to change it's only because I am hanging onto the way it used to be... and that once I let go, it will look far better than I thought if would when i was hanging on. When I fear change, I fear losing what I cling to... I do still try to grapple with the horror that there are no constants. Small changes allow for movement and spontaneity and are fun.

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    Change excites me.
    , Se-sub
    8w8-3w8-7w8 sx/sx

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    Change will come as surely as the seaons, and twice as quickly. Might as well make peace with it.
    EII

    I'll tell you what
    there is plenty wrong with me
    but I fixed up a few old buildings
    and I've planted a few trees.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Loki
    I find that all things change always... reality is impermanent and in a constant state of flux...
    Exactly what I feel like. It's not like changes are sudden.
    Obsequium amicos, veritas odium parit

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