I'm not Beta.
Pre-2013 post are written with incomplete understanding.
oh lol well I didn't see that choiceOriginally Posted by UDP
-1 for yes then
Nope for me.
Congratulations, you win the prize!Originally Posted by UDP
ugh... I'm not honestly offended or anything, but I've had too many friends go out that way. I'm sure it's fun and all, but... bleh (a better death I'd suggest is to have a heart attack from too much whorehousing! )Originally Posted by hkkmr
That's a guy?????Originally Posted by hkkmr
Way too pretty.
socio: INFp - IEI
ennea: 4w5 sp/sx
Originally Posted by Mark Twain
Ani, sometimes I love you.
But, for a certainty, back then,
We loved so many, yet hated so much,
We hurt others and were hurt ourselves...
Yet even then, we ran like the wind,
Whilst our laughter echoed,
Under cerulean skies...
No, but I have thought about what people would feel if I died in an accident or had a terminal disease.
Same here.Originally Posted by PotatoSpirit
“Whether we fall by ambition, blood, or lust, like diamonds we are cut with our own dust.”
Originally Posted by Gilly
i'm thinking about it right now. not doing it, but you know, the act. i almost killed myself this morning because all the booze i drank last night(vomitting, screaming, being slapped, taking off shirts, hugs for italy, bike tours of mexico-- one hell of a party). i think sitting on my computer all day is close enough to suicide.
Marilyn Manson singing the M*A*S*H* theme. Will wonders never cease. (And I think I saw Dick Cheney in there too, if I'm not mistaken).
Have to say that the Marilyn Manson shows I went to were really fabulous entertainment. The band wasn't bad, either.
socio: INFp - IEI
ennea: 4w5 sp/sx
Originally Posted by Mark Twain
Ditto.Originally Posted by Winterpark
I often love you my Darling sweet.Originally Posted by Gilly
I myself am rather a fan of that song from the bad vampier flick.
I wanna live, I wanna love, BUT IT'S A LONG HARD ROAD OUT OF HELL.
To whoever answered yes please read this: http://www.metanoia.org/suicide/ help is out there. People can and/or do love you.
God, that shit simply will not work. I mean, nice try and all, nice idea but it wont work.
My brother committed suicide, his body didn't die, thankfully and a few people were able to live because of him. But while he was being flown to the larger hospital I went home and cleaned up his blood and piss and shit because I wanted to do it before he was actually dead.
Sadly, people that REALLY want to kill themselves just do. You might be able to hold it off for a week, or a month, or a year but if someone wants to die they shall.
Wow, your brother committed suicide? =[
Unfortunately, I very much agree with you, PPOD. If someone really wants to kill themselves, they will do so without all that crying for attention B.S. we see so much of nowadays. Those people need help yes, but in all honesty, they won't kill themselves because they just want someone to make their lives better than what it seems to be for them... There is no way I ever considered seriously the act of suicide even in my most depressed moments, when my anxiety was extremely bad... I don't like to think about those times, they were wretched, but I know in my heart of hearts that no matter how bad it would've gotten, I couldn't end my own life. I don't understand people that do... isn't the basic instinct in all to survive?
the time I was second away from committing suicide it was a simple matter of wanting the pain in my head to stop. I suffered a bigtime anxiety implosion caused by an identity crises caused by messing with my mind with self-hypnosis techniques and NLP techniques after being up for like 5 days on meth and getting stoned.... wheh... anyways... I went frigging nuts... it was like having two people in my head chasing eachother trying to kill the other. It wouldn't stop... the more I tried to make it stop the more they had to decide who was going to die... the more they chased eachother... the more they wanted to kill the other... the more anxiety... the more hurt... the more I wanted it to stop... *repeat*
it was the worst thing I've ever experienced in my life. After about a half hour of it endlessly building and other psychotic delusions/effects growing as the whole thing built up in my mind I went to a buisy road (this was durring rush hour) and stood there suffering about to just run out from behind the bushes and into the rush hour traffic...
anyways... somehow I didn't... somehow I made my way to my house instead (bearly even knowing where my house was at that point) and in a panic I approached my mom and just started talking in a stuttered confused way... the more I talked to her the less I focused on the pain in my head... and that made it go away...
so anyways... it wasn't a depression thing, it wasn't not being able to deal with the world and my problems... it was pure psychological torture of the worst kind and just wanting it to STOP.
so anyways... there's my story of the closest I've ever gotten to offing myself (with many of the details left out since nobody really cares/ they only have meaning to me)
That must have been a terrifying experience Bionicgoat at least you can look back on it knowing you survived devastation. The fact that you've even had those kind of experiences is also kind of awesome in a sick twisted way, because you can always look back at those times and almost view them as battle scars in some aspects.
As for me, It feels too good to be alive to want to kill myself. Whenever I'm in pain I know it will get better, and it always does. We are always going to experience highs and lows, that's just part of living. Life is full of mystery paths that I want to explore, so much I want to experience, and I'm too interested in my future to want to end it over some silly emotions.
That isn't true, about people just needing to be loved. The night my brother killed himself he was very clearly upset, most likely about the death of my Mother. I knew that he had drugs and I begged him to talk to me about how he was feeling. I was so willing to talk to him until the sun came up. He didn't want that. He asked me to stay and watch some stupid show with him. Apparently he had already taken whatever killed him. I stayed with him, and I was there when he he started seizing. He just didn't want to live no matter what I or anyone else in the world was willing to do for him.Originally Posted by hkkmr
yeah I know what you mean... As painfull and terrifying as the whole thing was I'm actually quite glad that I've gotten a true taste of psychosis. I think it helps me to be able to relate to and understand certain people's thinking/ fears/ personality. Also after the whole thing resolved itself and I finally got over the aftershocks and paranoia that a relapse of the "event" was waiting just around the bend (took about two weeks) I actually felt more whole and together psychologically than I had my entire life. It was sort of like two different parts of my personality that I had been keeping seperate fully integrated that day. If nothing else it makes for a damn good storyOriginally Posted by Starfall
(I've learned though not to screw around with NLP and self-hypnosis when I'm in the midst of a meth high, which was a hard habit to kick since the whole thing is pretty addictive (NLP and self-hypnosis I mean). The problem is that you get so obsessive about things when your tweaking and obsessively screwing with your own mind when your in an already skitz out state isn't good for it. hehe I know that firsthand now )
I'm surprised that less than half of people who voted had thought about killing themselves - I thought it would have been a lot higher than that - I guess that's a good thing . Suicide is a very dark subject - all the strongest advocates of suicide are dead, and the living can hardly speak authoritatively about it- I think the living are often too harsh on those who are suicidal or have killed themselves, because they see them as weak - I don't think treating the weak harshly is going to help them get better . When I hear about suicides, it makes me very unhappy and I try to ignore them, but when I think about 'that kind of thing', everything seems more clean, because everything is less complicated - my life literally feels as though its in my hands, which is kind of reassuring I guess .
I can't vote because I don't understand this option:Originally Posted by Subterranean
"Yes, and I have planed it."
It should say 'planned' .