How to find/recognize ENFjs (EIEs): what are they like?

[Elro]

I know some older ones that were pretty active in churches. Younger... One I know went into law school with the ultimate goal of becoming a politician. Another is studying to become a brain surgeon.

[Jimbean]

@ Elro: I will keep that in mind. Thank you.

[Jimbean]

****** conventions, of course.

Yeah I'll look for them

[Animal]

ENFjs are pretty much among the most evenly dispersed types. You can find them pretty much everywhere. For practical purposes, I'd just start with the places you visit/groups you are around most often and see if you can spot any. There's probably a lot within your immediate group or just outside.

[Jimbean]

They always seem to be interested in some pretty cool things. I think you are right about ENFj's being in many places. Then I guess this is a pretty dumb question then. I apologize, I just could not help it

[uninspired]

One can find ENFjs anywhere, but unfortunately they're very rare, so ISTjs and their Beta friends have to work harder to find them. I've known a few in leadership roles (SGA, community organizations), groups dealing with political/social activism, outreach organizations (my ENFj cousin was a spokesperson for D.A.R.E.), church organizations (my Grandmother is deeply religious and social), and music and drama clubs. They also have a taste for different cultural activities, so whenever you hear of a free concert or a coffeehouse event, you might see some ENFjs there. The caveat is that you'll likely meet a lot of your conflictors (ENFps) in those same places, but just keep your eyes peeled for .
Generally speaking, just go someplace where people are free to be social and open with one another. I met one ENFj in a small-town bar, another at a county fair, and another at a party. My advice to you is to make yourself visible and open to communication, but be yourself. Strong, silent types appeal to ENFjs: they want to uncover the mystery behind them. Good luck on your quest .

[Animal]

It wasn't a dumb question. I find myself asking where my duals all are a lot of the time (esp. when stressed/bored). Then I meet one in the most random place.

[ScarlettLux]

It wasn't a dumb question. I find myself asking where my duals all are a lot of the time (esp. when stressed/bored). Then I meet one in the most random place.

Goddamn, you're lucky... I rarely if ever meet any SLEs

[Animal]

It wasn't a dumb question. I find myself asking where my duals all are a lot of the time (esp. when stressed/bored). Then I meet one in the most random place.

Goddamn, you're lucky... I rarely if ever meet any SLEs

Yeah, the male ones can be surprisingly solitary and keep to themselves or their close guy friends. It can be hard to tell they are ESTp until you actually start talking to them and then you see their SeTi. They go to parties to break out of their group, though, so you're bound to find a few in their element there. The female ones are more sociable so it's easier to spot for me.

[ScarlettLux]

It wasn't a dumb question. I find myself asking where my duals all are a lot of the time (esp. when stressed/bored). Then I meet one in the most random place.

Goddamn, you're lucky... I rarely if ever meet any SLEs

Yeah, the male ones can be surprisingly solitary and keep to themselves or their close guy friends. It can be hard to tell they are ESTp until you actually start talking to them and then you see their SeTi. They go to parties to break out of their group, though, so you're bound to find a few in their element there. The female ones are more sociable so it's easier to spot for me.

Yes, the couple SLEs I have known were exactly like that: solitary! You'd think that SLEs wouldn't be that way for some reason, but they just are... and yes, they go to parties here and there, but it's not like I would randomly go up to one. =[ They really intimidate me. Do you have any tips on approaching SLEs or knowing they even are SLEs? And what could I do to get them to approach me? Usually, when I get approached, it is always by dominants

[Red Sky]

It wasn't a dumb question. I find myself asking where my duals all are a lot of the time (esp. when stressed/bored). Then I meet one in the most random place.

Goddamn, you're lucky... I rarely if ever meet any SLEs

Yeah, the male ones can be surprisingly solitary and keep to themselves or their close guy friends. It can be hard to tell they are ESTp until you actually start talking to them and then you see their SeTi. They go to parties to break out of their group, though, so you're bound to find a few in their element there. The female ones are more sociable so it's easier to spot for me.

Yes, the couple SLEs I have known were exactly like that: solitary! You'd think that SLEs wouldn't be that way for some reason, but they just are... and yes, they go to parties here and there, but it's not like I would randomly go up to one. =[ They really intimidate me. Do you have any tips on approaching SLEs or knowing they even are SLEs? And what could I do to get them to approach me? Usually, when I get approached, it is always by dominants

Well I have no problems approaching people..........than agian I'm an ENFj. so I can't really help you.

[astralsilky]

Okay, where do young ENFj's like to hang out at ? I think it was mentioned before that ENFj's like bookstores and art galleries, but what are some other areas do they seem to gravitate to? I can think of school functions in university, such as activities for education majors (I have met a few ENFj's in this area).

Bookstores and art galleries?

I see absolutely no reason for this to be characteristic of ENFjs.

More likely is: to be hanging out with family and friends, religious groups and social clubs of various kinds, and very active within this mix, often taken on leadership roles. Or even, networking in various ways. And actively promoting their inner ideals. If there were in an educational setting, they're more apt to be involved with teaching somehow - where learning is dynamic and group-oriented, rather than perusing a bookstore at great lengths, "just for fun." Their seeking of info would be goal-oriented.

my halfpence

[xyz]

lollygagging at their social events, yakking it up.

[Jimbean]

Thanks to all

[aka-kitsune]

One can find ENFjs anywhere, but unfortunately they're very rare, so ISTjs and their Beta friends have to work harder to find them. I've known a few in leadership roles (SGA, community organizations), groups dealing with political/social activism, outreach organizations (my ENFj cousin was a spokesperson for D.A.R.E.), church organizations (my Grandmother is deeply religious and social), and music and drama clubs. They also have a taste for different cultural activities, so whenever you hear of a free concert or a coffeehouse event, you might see some ENFjs there.

I just realized a guy I befriended at work and became pretty close with is an ENFj. He's always extremely active politically (diehard bleeding heart liberal), and has done more than a few community service gigs. Most recently at a "Meals on Wheels" kind of thing that prepared meals for hospice patients. Recently quit our cubicle farm-type environment to go to law school in Pittsburgh. He also loved going to the free Friday concerts held by local public radio, opera, and other cultural stuff. Watches lots of documentaries and is also a vegetarian.

I miss him.

At any rate, he's married and despite my monster crush on him, never has looked aside. Very loyal, persevering and trustworthy. Witty and sarcastic too. Never had any trouble keeping up with me. Can be really a bit on the lascivious flirty side too, but all talk. And SO cute. Oh yeah... VERY metrosexual. :wink:

I suspect lots of ENFjs probably marry young and are off the market pretty quickly.

[Red Sky]

One can find ENFjs anywhere, but unfortunately they're very rare, so ISTjs and their Beta friends have to work harder to find them. I've known a few in leadership roles (SGA, community organizations), groups dealing with political/social activism, outreach organizations (my ENFj cousin was a spokesperson for D.A.R.E.), church organizations (my Grandmother is deeply religious and social), and music and drama clubs. They also have a taste for different cultural activities, so whenever you hear of a free concert or a coffeehouse event, you might see some ENFjs there.

I just realized a guy I befriended at work and became pretty close with is an ENFj. He's always extremely active politically (diehard bleeding heart liberal), and has done more than a few community service gigs. Most recently at a "Meals on Wheels" kind of thing that prepared meals for hospice patients. Recently quit our cubicle farm-type environment to go to law school in Pittsburgh. He also loved going to the free Friday concerts held by local public radio, opera, and other cultural stuff. Watches lots of documentaries and is also a vegetarian.

I miss him.

At any rate, he's married and despite my monster crush on him, never has looked aside. Very loyal, persevering and trustworthy. Witty and sarcastic too. Never had any trouble keeping up with me. Can be really a bit on the lascivious flirty side too, but all talk. And SO cute. Oh yeah... VERY metrosexual. :wink:

I suspect lots of ENFjs probably marry young and are off the market pretty quickly.

That sucks, there was this one girl that use to work with me that had a crush on me too, but she went back to school and has a boyfriend.

[mr_maguoo]

Think of it conversely, for every ENFj that leaves the market, another 'comes of age' and comes onto the market.

[Jimbean]

Think of it conversely, for every ENFj that leaves the market, another 'comes of age' and comes onto the market.

That is what I have been waiting to hear

[misutii]

I've found that many ENFjs I know seem to love hosting social gatherings/parties with their friends (especially if they have their own place). Also Fe-subtypes seem drawn towards counter-culture/alternative type settings where open debate of society is encouraged - or they'll encourage it. Ni-subtypes seem better at blending in with the mainstream crowd as they dress less "loud" so it's harder to spot them, if they're at a mainstream bar tho and you talk to them they'll gladly mock all the fake people with you.

Even though they're beta ENFjs seem often to be very inclusive of others and it's easy to get invited to their gatherings.

[lefty]

Okay, where do young ENFj's like to hang out at ? I think it was mentioned before that ENFj's like bookstores and art galleries, but what are some other areas do they seem to gravitate to? I can think of school functions in university, such as activities for education majors (I have met a few ENFj's in this area).

Bookstores and art galleries?

I see absolutely no reason for this to be characteristic of ENFjs.

More likely is: to be hanging out with family and friends, religious groups and social clubs of various kinds, and very active within this mix, often taken on leadership roles. Or even, networking in various ways. And actively promoting their inner ideals. If there were in an educational setting, they're more apt to be involved with teaching somehow - where learning is dynamic and group-oriented, rather than perusing a bookstore at great lengths, "just for fun." Their seeking of info would be goal-oriented.

my halfpence

fuck church. enfjs are more rebellious than you think.

lefty,

enfj
4w5

[Kristiina]

I suppose art club could be an option. It is possible to capture an emotion in a painting and good paintings last for hundreds of years - this appeals to ENFjs who want other people to understand their emotions and their personality. I really like the thought of being able to capture an emotion in a way that it lasts for hundreds of years for other people to admire... Unfortunately I can't do art no matter how I try. All girls look anime-elf-like and all boys look like girls.

[lefty]

I suppose art club could be an option. It is possible to capture an emotion in a painting and good paintings last for hundreds of years - this appeals to ENFjs who want other people to understand their emotions and their personality. I really like the thought of being able to capture an emotion in a way that it lasts for hundreds of years for other people to admire... Unfortunately I can't do art no matter how I try. All girls look anime-elf-like and all boys look like girls.

as an enfj i love museums even though im not artistic either.

lefty
enfj
4w5

we do benefit ESFPs

[Birds]

I think ENFjs are one of the most socially rebellious types...

[Red Sky]

I suppose art club could be an option. It is possible to capture an emotion in a painting and good paintings last for hundreds of years - this appeals to ENFjs who want other people to understand their emotions and their personality. I really like the thought of being able to capture an emotion in a way that it lasts for hundreds of years for other people to admire... Unfortunately I can't do art no matter how I try. All girls look anime-elf-like and all boys look like girls.

as an enfj i love museums even though im not artistic either.

lefty
enfj
4w5

we do benefit ESFPs

I used to love art class, I could draw just about any non living thing that she gave. I find it that drawing is just so relaxing and enjoyable to bad that I don't have the time or the boredom to just draw(like i did in some of my classes).

[ScarlettLux]

I agree with being leaders of certain clubs in school. hidden agenda comes out with wanting to control issues they are interested in. I see this in myself so much. I always join things I feel strongly about, a cause or a personal interest related and I take control of it, ordering people around.

[Number 9 large]

Okay so I recently discovered I might be an LSI-ti. This means that EIE would be my dual. To my malconcent I don't think I know any female ENFj's in real life, at least not typed ones by me. So I need help.

How do I discern female ENFj's from other females? Especially ESFp's, ESFj's and INFp's?

[Leader]

They are the most dramatic, if that's any help

Look up Brooke Baldwin from cnn

Or the lady from the progressive commercials

[nokomis]

The loudest, most outgoing person in the room.

[Number 9 large]

The loudest, most outgoing person in the room.

Aren't those supposed to be SEE's and ESE's?

[nokomis]

Aren't those supposed to be SEE's and ESE's?

In my experience both are a little more subdued. SEEs actually come across kind of stern most of the time. ESEs are too mother-hennish.

SLEs are really they only type that come across louder than EIEs, from what I've seen.

[wasp]

"So my neighbor's friend's aunt lived across the street from a guy that went to school with a girl whose 5th grade teacher's plumber visited Beijing around the same time that this other guy I don't know did, and that guy once sat in on a lecture by Richard Feynman, so like, I'm kind of a big deal"

[GuavaDrunk]

*posts nudes*

More seriously, Fe-egos in general are more likely to pick up on your little Fe-seeking probes.

[darya]

They are much rarer. So when you see someone that's superficially similar, but something is a bit off from the bunch of SEE's and ESE's going around, that's your EIE ; ) But seriously, don't go out looking for the loudest person cause that's not true in many cases (many Ni-creatives are more like ambiverts) and it's much more likely you're going to end up with an unhinged EP something.

Also, where you can (easiest) find them:
theaters - a bunch of them are actors
in academia, mainly humanities
journalism
non-profits (don't confuse them with hippy IEE's though!), social work, psychology
politics
some are creepy cult leaders or pedo priests

[Persephone]

EIE is the most misunderstood type sigh...

[Bertrand]

I really like Gulenko's article on EIE. Really expands the purview of EIEdom. Maybe I'm an EIE!

[darya]

To further expand, there are different flavours... there does indeed exist histrionic theater aging diva over the top EIE, but then there is also charismatic, beloved highschool teacher EIE for example, who is not "dramatic" or over the top. What they are is passionate, not necesarily dramatic in a crazy flamingo way. Also, when they meet new people, most EIE's i know are actually a bit standoffish and proud - polite and predispositioned to playful sarcastic jabs, but they're not the person who goes around talking and goofing around indimiscriminately with everybody. They are slower to warm to and except people than Fi creatives. They have a sense of importance to them. But once they except you, they will be very warm and loving towards you. In a circle of friends, family or at work when they're advocating for a cause, they can be very loud, overbearing and dramatic, getting into lenghty emotional debates (this sucks and needs to be changed, we need to unite and fight,... ).

Thinking now, there does exist a super sweet bubbly variety too (E2?), which looks very close to ESE - that's the ones that are extremely extroverted and high on Fe, but that's a minority ime. Maybe you're looking for this last one EIE kind , OP : )

[Olimpia]

Besides Oprah I cannot think of a famous or just "IRL" female EIE... The great majority of EIEs I have come across and known of were male for some reason, so I cannot really give you any exact practical advice in terms of discerning a female EIE from other female types per se.

If I tried to type a potentially EIE female, I'd take note of what functions and IM values she seems to express the most. The Role function, HA, and Demonstrative can be slightly misleading sometimes, but at the end of the day people reveal themselves through their Ego functions.

Fe leads tend to direct the emotional atmosphere but in a manner they deem to be appropriate. In that way, Fe leads are often actually quieter than ExFp's and more "serious" in comparison. (This could be a matter of them being both Ej and Constructivist.) When they think a situation should be serious, they'll be serious. If they think it should be funny or humorous, they'll be humorous. And in that way, they'll try to form the environment to that. IxFps do not really do that, they tend to want a pleasant or fun atmosphere no matter what, especially IEI. For example, when I see my ESE mother being sad or depressed, I'll try to cheer her up by laughing and being upbeat, but recently she actually started to scold me for that. She was sad about the Manchester incidence. I tried to cheer her up by being bubbly and laughing, but she took offense to it and said something along the lines of: "In situations like these, laughing is not appropriate." And my ILE brother explained: "She thinks when something like this happens, people should mourn." And she nodded to that. Fe Demonstrative people do not really try to "impose" a certain mood setting on other people; an ExFp would probably have been annoyed by my laughing too, but they wouldn't have tried to "teach me" how to "properly emote" during a certain situation. Fi ego types typically do not try to "meddle" with the emotional states of other people, and believe everyone has their right to their own personal emotional state.

Besides all that, an EIE is going to display strong Intuition. I cannot really exactly tell you how to spot that, but in comparison to S types, it will be clear they have good Intuition. You have to take note of whether they are Fe lead or not, and whether they value Ni or not. That mostly will solve the riddle. Also, they'll need to express some intuitive insights (either Ni or Ne ones) often enough. A Gamma SF may be able to seem like an EIE, but at closer distance you'll realize they mostly concern themselves with and talk about more tangible things; or at least this is where their strengths lie. Gamma SFs can get obsessed with Ni stuff, but in the case of SEE they usually lack the Ni, and in the case of ESI they usually lack any Ne, so that is the main way how you can distinguish them from Beta NFs (besides other things, like Fe-Ti vs Fi-Te valuing etc.)

At last, EIE vs IEI is mainly a matter of energy and activity. IEIs are generally much more low energy or their energy comes in short bursts; whereas the energy of an Ej is more consistent (same for Ijs). J types have rather consistent energy; if you thought of it is a line, it would be straight mostly, with little variations. The energy of an Ej is on a higher level more consistently, though Ni subtypes have weaker or lower energy than their Fe subtype counterparts. Also, being Te Role as well, an Ej is generally more active and productive than any IxFx you'll meet. They are often on-the-go and get more things done.

[Olimpia]

Personal advice for the OP:

Considering the fact you seem to like more "aggressive" women, a Beta NF might not be ideal for you (in terms of combining personal preference with type compatibility). I'd suggest a fellow Beta ST, followed by an ESI-Se instead. An SEE would be too much trouble because of the Supervision relation and PoLR hits; you'd rub the SEE the wrong way too often. An ESI-Se would be sufficiently aggressive enough but also be in a much better ITR with you. Besides that, maybe an ESE-Fe could meet your expectations too to some extent, but they'd rather refer back to Caretaker behaviour and can react negatively towards too much Se and force.

[Chae]

How do I discern female ENFj's from other females? Especially ESFp's, ESFj's and INFp's?

From SEE: less physical. You can spot SEE by their body usage, and EIE by their words. I swear ESFps are typable by how they navigate their environment already, it's striking. is the master of kinetic energy, EIE has some struggles there. SEE's demonstrative comes in spikes, is less constant and more chaotic. Ej vs Ep temperament there.
From ESE: less comforting. In fact, their PoLR creates discomfort. ESE energizes and nurtures, EIE dramatizes and makes forecasts. ESE's demonstrative steps in to mobilize people while EIE riles them up with emotion only, and points out obvious good ideas and chances with demonstrative .
From IEI: more outgoing and "eccentric", less brooding. Initiates way more, seeks an integrative stance from others. Makes fewer sense. EIE cares less about personal stance (demonstrative in IEIs) but prioritizes collective, outward sentiment. You can talk about your friendship with IEI in detail but an EIE will only say, "who cares the mood is good between us".

[Chae]

@Cassandra Charlize Theron would be a good example as well