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Thread: Fe/Te tension

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    Default Fe/Te tension

    It's correct to complain/inquire about winning a shirt that doesn't fully reppresent the event you are attending. (Attendee won a class shirt during his 10 year H.S. reunion. It was memorabilia donated by his old alma matter. The shirts had the school name/logo on the front AND "class of 2007" imprinted on the sleeve).

    I must say, upon hearing the complaint, I shrunk in on myself. I felt a sudden chill/fear, and acknowledged it's validity. Which seemed to fuel him. I figured it would calm him, to have someone acknowledge your point of view...but it didn't. It was like I gave him the go-ahead to rant. I felt like if this guy continued on...choosing to engage himself in critiquing flaws, it might give others something to consider. Going into a direction that is counter the spirit of winning/fun/gratitute we envisioned. I started to imagine people throwing them back at us. lol revolt

    I want to be like, SHUT THE FUCK UP; GO HOME! WHY COME TO A REUNION to SIT GLUED AT YOUR BACK TABLE AND TALK YOUR PETTY SHIT.

    But I can't. I see his point. Grrr. Tension. Orrrr mayyyybe validating my feelings and acknowledging his point CAN live side by side in my consciousness...wthout tension.

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    Exits, pursued by a bear. Animal's Avatar
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    It's a damn t-shirt. The guy needs to get over it. You did kind of opened the Pandora's Box when you told him you understood his point of view. When things like that happen, it's best to put the matter into perspective (i.e., "It's a goddamn shirt.") - that is to say, make it seem as small as it is, and possibly smaller - and focus on the big, important things (the spirit of winning/fun/gratitute, etc.).
    "How could we forget those ancient myths that stand at the beginning of all races, the myths about dragons that at the last moment are transformed into princesses? Perhaps all the dragons in our lives are princesses who are only waiting to see us act, just once, with beauty and courage. Perhaps everything that frightens us is, in its deepest essence, something helpless that wants our love."
    -- Rainer Maria Rilke, Letters to a Young Poet

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    Quote Originally Posted by Baby
    You did kind of opened the Pandora's Box when you told him you understood his point of view.
    It's something that's worked for me in the past. How can someone continue an argument/point when you've agreed with them? lol

    I figure the fact that I agreed the shirts were inadequate, yet I turn around and continue handing them out...irked him. That's how it makes sense to me anyway.

    When things like that happen, it's best to put the matter into perspective (i.e., "It's a goddamn shirt.") - that is to say, make it seem as small as it is, and possibly smaller - and focus on the big, important things (the spirit of winning/fun/gratitute, etc.).
    You're braver than I am baby!

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    Quote Originally Posted by maze
    Quote Originally Posted by Baby
    You did kind of opened the Pandora's Box when you told him you understood his point of view.
    It's something that's worked for me in the past. How can someone continue an argument/point when you've agreed with them? lol

    I figure the fact that I agreed the shirts were inadequate, yet I turn around and continue handing them out...irked him. That's how it makes sense to me anyway.
    I actually don't think the guy was looking to argue (at least in the normal sense of that word, lol). He was looking to bitch and gripe. Probaby was already in a bad mood beforehand and came to the reunion with low hopes and this was just something he could use to bounce off of and moan about and make everyone see the dismal little cracks in the ceremony because that's all he could see. If you acknowledge someone who wants to bitch, they take it as a sign that the bitching is appropriate and then go off. It happened to me recently at work. Freaky stuff.

    Quote Originally Posted by maze
    When things like that happen, it's best to put the matter into perspective (i.e., "It's a goddamn shirt.") - that is to say, make it seem as small as it is, and possibly smaller - and focus on the big, important things (the spirit of winning/fun/gratitute, etc.).
    You're braver than I am baby!
    It beats getting eaten alive by Te.
    "How could we forget those ancient myths that stand at the beginning of all races, the myths about dragons that at the last moment are transformed into princesses? Perhaps all the dragons in our lives are princesses who are only waiting to see us act, just once, with beauty and courage. Perhaps everything that frightens us is, in its deepest essence, something helpless that wants our love."
    -- Rainer Maria Rilke, Letters to a Young Poet

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    I don't see that as Te vs Fe, but rather as construct- versus emotion-creating. Which may even coincide with Te vs Fe, but not necessarily.
    , LIE, ENTj logical subtype, 8w9 sx/sp
    Quote Originally Posted by implied
    gah you're like the shittiest ENTj ever!

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    Quote Originally Posted by Baby
    Quote Originally Posted by maze
    Quote Originally Posted by Baby
    You did kind of opened the Pandora's Box when you told him you understood his point of view.
    It's something that's worked for me in the past. How can someone continue an argument/point when you've agreed with them? lol

    I figure the fact that I agreed the shirts were inadequate, yet I turn around and continue handing them out...irked him. That's how it makes sense to me anyway.
    I actually don't think the guy was looking to argue (at least in the normal sense of that word, lol). He was looking to bitch and gripe. Probaby was already in a bad mood beforehand and came to the reunion with low hopes and this was just something he could use to bounce off of and moan about and make everyone see the dismal little cracks in the ceremony because that's all he could see. If you acknowledge someone who wants to bitch, they take it as a sign that the bitching isappropriate and then go off. It happened to me recently at work. Freaky stuff.
    That makes sense. It does seem more likely. He wasn't as noble as I considered he might be!

    Quote Originally Posted by baby
    Quote Originally Posted by maze
    When things like that happen, it's best to put the matter into perspective (i.e., "It's a goddamn shirt.") - that is to say, make it seem as small as it is, and possibly smaller - and focus on the big, important things (the spirit of winning/fun/gratitute, etc.).
    You're braver than I am baby!
    It beats getting eaten alive by Te.
    lol

    And thanks baby

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    Quote Originally Posted by Expat
    I don't see that as Te vs Fe, but rather as construct- versus emotion-creating. Which may even coincide with Te vs Fe, but not necessarily.
    It fits that category better?

    Because in considering his type, I thought about:

    ENTj
    ESFj
    ISFj
    INTp
    INFj

    Since it felt like what I think a POLr hit might feel like, I went with Te.

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