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Thread: Automatic attractiveness to the external qualities

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    Default Automatic attractiveness to the external qualities

    Hmm, is it possible that we are automatically attracted to the external "looks" of our duals and activity partners. Take INTj and ESFj for example. Are INTjs automatically attracted to the subtle friendly like look that ESFjs display, and are ESFjs automatically attracted to the cold distant look of INTjs.

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    Maybe...

    But why aren't alot of people with their duals if they are so instantly attractive to one another?

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    Nope. Attraction is another ball game entirely.
    MAYBE I'LL BREAK DOWN!!!


    Quote Originally Posted by vague
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    Well, people usually end up with people that A) Are sexually attractive(although the attraction to duals may be one of a sexual nature), meaning that people like people that society defines as beautiful. Or B) people that financially or materially supplys a person with their needs.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Rocky
    Nope. Attraction is another ball game entirely.
    Im not so sure about that, I think functions are demonstrated through external physical qualities. The look of a person is basically the function at work.

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    I think there is some of this at play - somewhat. Intuitive/sensor seem to be the easiest dichotomy - when it is a strong prefernce either way.

    But there are people like Halle Berry that everyone all over the world finds attractive. Or Aishwarya Rai, "Tom Cruise", Leo DiCaprio, James Dean, Johnny Depp and so on.
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    Quote Originally Posted by hitta
    Quote Originally Posted by Rocky
    Nope. Attraction is another ball game entirely.
    Im not so sure about that,
    Then you haven't met many people in relationships, lol.
    MAYBE I'LL BREAK DOWN!!!


    Quote Originally Posted by vague
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    I wiiiish this were true! So much trouble would be saved


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    Quote Originally Posted by Rocky
    Quote Originally Posted by hitta
    Quote Originally Posted by Rocky
    Nope. Attraction is another ball game entirely.
    Im not so sure about that,
    Then you haven't met many people in relationships, lol.
    I'm not saying that duals fall head over heels for each other because of their appearance, I'm saying that there is something about the structure of a persons dual that that person would find to be intriguing. Its kinda like a hidden physical bond.

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    Quote Originally Posted by hitta
    Quote Originally Posted by Rocky
    Quote Originally Posted by hitta
    Quote Originally Posted by Rocky
    Nope. Attraction is another ball game entirely.
    Im not so sure about that,
    Then you haven't met many people in relationships, lol.
    I'm not saying that duals fall head over heels for each other because of their appearance, I'm saying that there is something about the structure of a persons dual that that person would find to be intriguing. Its kinda like a hidden physical bond.
    If that is true, then most dual relationships are pretty shitty, hahaha.
    MAYBE I'LL BREAK DOWN!!!


    Quote Originally Posted by vague
    Rocky's posts are as enjoyable as having wisdom teeth removed.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Rocky
    Quote Originally Posted by hitta
    Quote Originally Posted by Rocky
    Quote Originally Posted by hitta
    Quote Originally Posted by Rocky
    Nope. Attraction is another ball game entirely.
    Im not so sure about that,
    Then you haven't met many people in relationships, lol.
    I'm not saying that duals fall head over heels for each other because of their appearance, I'm saying that there is something about the structure of a persons dual that that person would find to be intriguing. Its kinda like a hidden physical bond.
    If that is true, then most dual relationships are pretty shitty, hahaha.
    Why?

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    Ummm, I've been attracted to many who where not my dual. In fact, I believe the majority of married people are not married to a dual partner.

    E.g., my parents (I believe) are IEE (Dad) and SEE (Mom), which makes them "business partners." Despite the stern warnings of socionic theory they have made it 23 years and counting.

    Perhaps we should not apply such mystical attributes to duality. Socionics is, afterall, a theory, and no theory is all that valid if it cannot make testible predictions. In the case of duality, we need to define exactly what predictions we make (psychological comfort) and which ones we don't (spontaneous limerence toward a dual).

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    Quote Originally Posted by JRiddy
    Ummm, I've been attracted to many who where not my dual. In fact, I believe the majority of married people are not married to a dual partner.

    E.g., my parents (I believe) are IEE (Dad) and SEE (Mom), which makes them "business partners." Despite the stern warnings of socionic theory they have made it 23 years and counting.

    Perhaps we should not apply such mystical attributes to duality. Socionics is, afterall, a theory, and no theory is all that valid if it cannot make testible predictions. In the case of duality, we need to define exactly what predictions we make (psychological comfort) and which ones we don't (spontaneous limerence toward a dual).
    I am not saying that you can't be attracted to people that aren't your duals. Agreed most people are attracted to other people. I'm just saying that there is some sort of mystical attraction in relation to the physical aspects of duals.

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    Quote Originally Posted by hitta
    Quote Originally Posted by Rocky
    Quote Originally Posted by hitta
    Quote Originally Posted by Rocky
    Quote Originally Posted by hitta
    Quote Originally Posted by Rocky
    Nope. Attraction is another ball game entirely.
    Im not so sure about that,
    Then you haven't met many people in relationships, lol.
    I'm not saying that duals fall head over heels for each other because of their appearance, I'm saying that there is something about the structure of a persons dual that that person would find to be intriguing. Its kinda like a hidden physical bond.
    If that is true, then most dual relationships are pretty shitty, hahaha.
    Why?
    Most people get into relationships that are pretty shitty, because people generally get in them because of attraction. If you're claiming that this attraction is caused by duals, then logic would dictate duals are shitty.

    In other words, it just doesn't make sense.
    MAYBE I'LL BREAK DOWN!!!


    Quote Originally Posted by vague
    Rocky's posts are as enjoyable as having wisdom teeth removed.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Rocky
    Quote Originally Posted by hitta
    Quote Originally Posted by Rocky
    Quote Originally Posted by hitta
    Quote Originally Posted by Rocky
    Quote Originally Posted by hitta
    Quote Originally Posted by Rocky
    Nope. Attraction is another ball game entirely.
    Im not so sure about that,
    Then you haven't met many people in relationships, lol.
    I'm not saying that duals fall head over heels for each other because of their appearance, I'm saying that there is something about the structure of a persons dual that that person would find to be intriguing. Its kinda like a hidden physical bond.
    If that is true, then most dual relationships are pretty shitty, hahaha.
    Why?
    Most people get into relationships that are pretty shitty, because people generally get in them because of attraction. If you're claiming that this attraction is caused by duals, then logic would dictate duals are shitty.

    In other words, it just doesn't make sense.
    Thats not what I'm saying at all. I'm saying that there is something about a duals appearance that a person find to be stimulating.

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    Quote Originally Posted by hitta
    Thats not what I'm saying at all. I'm saying that there is something about a duals appearance that a person find to be stimulating.
    That's not saying much at all.

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    There is a certain look that that duals have that they are attracted to. If my idea of + and - functions is correct, they should also have that similar attraction to look-alikes, actually imo a person's lookalike and a person's dual have similar looks.

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    I can see where you're going w/ this. Maybe what you're saying is that type would influence things like: facial expression, posture, where in the room the person is standing (introverts tend to hang out at sides of the room, extroverts in the middle), the way they are talking (or not talking), and even the types of colors they tend to wear (ex: color personality theory).

    All of these things play a part in being attracted to someone in those first few seconds.

    It isn't ALL the purely physical make-ups of our bodies that make another person attractive, i.e. size of a nose or how symetrical a face is, or how toned a body is. This of course plays a part. But haven't you ever seen someone that everyone else found attractive, even a model, that you were like: so what? I think that's partly because we pick up on personality as fast as we pick up on what someone is wearing or how tall they are.

    For example, for me, it would be more attractive to see a mysterious, somewhat serious looking guy standing alone off in the distance of the room, not talking to anyone. Not wearing anothing too garish. But looking confident, like he doesn't need to talk to anyone. This would be more attractive to me than a loud guy standing in the middle of the room wearing an orange shirt and red pants and a silly hat and talking away in the crowd with like four women giggling at him. The guys could be identical twins with every physical feature the same, but I'd be much more attracted to the first. So I think personality type CAN make someone more or less attractive upon first seeing them.
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    Physical attraction has nothing to do with duality or socionics.

    BUT

    I have always had some kind of pull toward people who don't show their emotions - not like a romantic attraction but some kind of wondering what they're thinking and wanting to find out.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Slacker Mom
    Physical attraction has nothing to do with duality or socionics.

    BUT

    I have always had some kind of pull toward people who don't show their emotions - not like a romantic attraction but some kind of wondering what they're thinking and wanting to find out.
    Why can't physical attraction have anything to do with socionics?

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    Quote Originally Posted by hitta
    Quote Originally Posted by Slacker Mom
    Physical attraction has nothing to do with duality or socionics.

    BUT

    I have always had some kind of pull toward people who don't show their emotions - not like a romantic attraction but some kind of wondering what they're thinking and wanting to find out.
    Why can't physical attraction have anything to do with socionics?
    There is a cultural standard of beauty. Physical attraction has more to do with that standard of beauty than anything else.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Slacker Mom
    Quote Originally Posted by hitta
    Quote Originally Posted by Slacker Mom
    Physical attraction has nothing to do with duality or socionics.

    BUT

    I have always had some kind of pull toward people who don't show their emotions - not like a romantic attraction but some kind of wondering what they're thinking and wanting to find out.
    Why can't physical attraction have anything to do with socionics?
    There is a cultural standard of beauty. Physical attraction has more to do with that standard of beauty than anything else.
    agreed, but what I am saying that there is something about the physical nature of a dual that a person finds attractive, there may be certain standards that society places on people, but the attraction between the physical aspects of duals still exist imo

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    Quote Originally Posted by hitta
    I'm not saying that duals fall head over heels for each other because of their appearance, I'm saying that there is something about the structure of a persons dual that that person would find to be intriguing. Its kinda like a hidden physical bond.
    I can relate to this. I have actually been strongly (and somewhat instantly) attracted to duals and semi-duals. It's not just their physical appearance, though. It's always something about the way they carry themselves, their grace, their postures, facial expressions, intonations, what they say and how they say it, the manner in which they express their thoughts, a certain kind of reserve, their physical reactions, body language, etc. Though all different from each other, there is certainly an indefinable common quality they all have that catches and holds my attention.

    There's a kind of familiarity I recognize with everyone I've been romantically attracted to/interested in. They all share a specific combination of traits similar and different from my own. Opposites attract, yes, but I tend to think there also needs to be something "recognizable" in the other person for one to find them attractive.

    To be sure, I've found others physically attractive but that *spark* of connection just wasn't there.
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    I think I'm most attracted (sexually) to the short or shoulder length dark haired ESTp girls who have nose and tongue piercings. They give you this look like they just want to eat you alive... hawt!

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    Quote Originally Posted by Bionicgoat
    I think I'm most attracted (sexually) to the short or shoulder length dark haired ESTp girls who have nose and tongue piercings. They give you this look like they just want to eat you alive... hawt!
    Good grief.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bionicgoat
    I think I'm most attracted (sexually) to the short or shoulder length dark haired ESTp girls who have nose and tongue piercings. They give you this look like they just want to eat you alive... hawt!

    Yea... i totally concur.

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    well, hitta, i think i agree with you, at least because yours is the more reasonable assumption given what we can scientifically know.

    i think you are considering a broader definition/usage of the word "attraction" than most dissenters in this thread. there is inherent contradiction in the primary opposing argument which goes something like:

    1. type cannot change
    2. people have sex and have babies
    3. if all people have types, and types cannot change, then babies are born with innate types
    4. attraction is at least partially biological

    we cannot be certain that emotion is biological because there are many definitions for emotion. but it's possible that the chemicals in the brain are responsible for what we feel towards another person. there are many levels of feeling. i can feel cold (knowable temperature and boundaries) or i can feel sad (unknowable perimeter).

    let's consider the first usage of "feel." is it not far more believable to say that basic attraction (simply being drawn towards a person without any apparent emotional attachment) is biological in nature, just as our bodies' perception of cold is predominately related to the combination of various temperatures? if you are talking about this basic attraction, set off by a collision of what two people subconsciously send in each other's directions, and if socionics is a theory of attraction/repulsion (not just between people, but between elements of personality i.e. +/-), then you are correct!

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    Quote Originally Posted by reyn_til_runa
    well, hitta, i think i agree with you, at least because yours is the more reasonable assumption given what we can scientifically know.

    i think you are considering a broader definition/usage of the word "attraction" than most dissenters in this thread. there is inherent contradiction in the primary opposing argument which goes something like:

    1. type cannot change
    2. people have sex and have babies
    3. if all people have types, and types cannot change, then babies are born with innate types
    4. attraction is at least partially biological

    we cannot be certain that emotion is biological because there are many definitions for emotion. but it's possible that the chemicals in the brain are responsible for what we feel towards another person. there are many levels of feeling. i can feel cold (knowable temperature and boundaries) or i can feel sad (unknowable perimeter).

    let's consider the first usage of "feel." is it not far more believable to say that basic attraction (simply being drawn towards a person without any apparent emotional attachment) is biological in nature, just as our bodies' perception of cold is predominately related to the combination of various temperatures? if you are talking about this basic attraction, set off by a collision of what two people subconsciously send in each other's directions, and if socionics is a theory of attraction/repulsion (not just between people, but between elements of personality i.e. +/-), then you are correct!

    you win the pet frog or a piece of candy.

    Hmm, tough choice... what type of candy?

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    Quote Originally Posted by hitta
    Quote Originally Posted by reyn_til_runa
    well, hitta, i think i agree with you, at least because yours is the more reasonable assumption given what we can scientifically know.

    i think you are considering a broader definition/usage of the word "attraction" than most dissenters in this thread. there is inherent contradiction in the primary opposing argument which goes something like:

    1. type cannot change
    2. people have sex and have babies
    3. if all people have types, and types cannot change, then babies are born with innate types
    4. attraction is at least partially biological

    we cannot be certain that emotion is biological because there are many definitions for emotion. but it's possible that the chemicals in the brain are responsible for what we feel towards another person. there are many levels of feeling. i can feel cold (knowable temperature and boundaries) or i can feel sad (unknowable perimeter).

    let's consider the first usage of "feel." is it not far more believable to say that basic attraction (simply being drawn towards a person without any apparent emotional attachment) is biological in nature, just as our bodies' perception of cold is predominately related to the combination of various temperatures? if you are talking about this basic attraction, set off by a collision of what two people subconsciously send in each other's directions, and if socionics is a theory of attraction/repulsion (not just between people, but between elements of personality i.e. +/-), then you are correct!

    you win the pet frog or a piece of candy.

    Hmm, tough choice... what type of candy?
    crunchy frog

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    Yummy

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    wait til you meet crunchy frog's dual, smooth lily pad. best with a glass of milk and a magnifying glass.
    whenever the dog and i see each other we both stop where we are. we regard each other with a mixture of sadness and suspicion and then we feign indifference.

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    Quote Originally Posted by reyn_til_runa
    wait til you meet crunchy frog's dual, smooth lily pad. best with a glass of milk and a magnifying glass.
    is it wrong that this is sexual to me?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Bionicgoat
    Quote Originally Posted by reyn_til_runa
    wait til you meet crunchy frog's dual, smooth lily pad. best with a glass of milk and a magnifying glass.
    is it wrong that this is sexual to me?
    nope, feeling the same way here

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