Peacekeeping

[Elro]

(By "peacekeeping" here, I mean "how one avoids an argument one deems unnecessary.")

How does peacekeeping differ among the types? I'm particularly interested in Fe vs. Fi, though any differences with respect to Ne/Si and Se/Ni would be nice too. (Really, any decent info at all would be groovy. )

[Joy]

Between themselves and another person, or between other people? What about misunderstandings that wouldn't necessarily cause an actual argument?

[ScarlettLux]

Actually, I tend to see as more of a peacekeeping function than . Why? Because it cares for the emotional atmosphere of the group.. especially Alpha for example, Quadra that tries to avoid and dislikes conflict that ruins the overall mood... Despite the fact that Beta can blow up in your face, there is a tendency to go back to happiness after that blow up.. it never really lasts too long, I find, the emotional mood swings in Beta... they're intense but nothing of too much seriousness.. it's almost like a game. It's even a form of peacekeeping to air out all your thoughts ... that is why I like it because Beta never lets their bad emotions fester.. they get them out.

I see as more concerned with long-term evaluations of people.. not likely to change... I've known some Fi seeking types, INTp & ISTp who will hold grudges FOREVER ... they don't really care about the mood .... it's more like what THEY think of the people will never change unless they decide for it to. All around though, I guess is a little more calm, but being an Ego type, I just don't like it and never will. It seems restrictive to me.

[Logos]

Between themselves and another person, or between other people? What about misunderstandings that wouldn't necessarily cause an actual argument?

No, how do you keep the peace in an argument between a bear and a sandwich?

[Joy]

I don't!

[Logos]

I don't!

You mean that you wouldn't even stand up for a bear that was getting abused by a sandwich?

[Joy]

ISFp: keeps a comfortable atmosphere, often with humor
ESFj: tells people when they're out of place
INFp: I really shouldn't comment here... I don't have any good examples
ENFj: hmmm... I would think they try to get everything out in the open?
ISFj: not sure... telling people off, but only when they deem it necessary
ESFp: playfulness, boldly declaring that someone is wrong, but in a tone that makes it seem like it doesn't matter and that everyone should stop caring too much and get on with whatever it is they're trying to do
ENFp: try to point out how others may feel or their perspectives
INFj: dunno

[Joy]

I don't!

You mean that you wouldn't even stand up for a bear that was getting abused by a sandwich?

I can't imagine I'd hang around that situation very long... or allow myself to get too close to it to begin with.

[Elro]

No, how do you keep the peace in an argument between a bear and a sandwich?

Look more delicious than the sandwich.

[rockclimber]

I avoid arguments I feel are unnecessary by just agreeing with the other person and trying to clam them down, or dismissing them altogether. That is only for arguments I feel are unnecessary, though. If I think someone is wrong or if their view doesn't agree with mine, I will certainly tell them so... sometimes rather harshly.

[Mea]

To avoid unnecessary arguments, I usually just keep my mouth shut.
Or be very careful how I phrase things.

[Elro]

Between themselves and another person, or between other people? What about misunderstandings that wouldn't necessarily cause an actual argument?

I'd be particularly interested in learning about how they break up disagreements in others, since that's not talked about as much. But any info is cool.

[redbaron]

In my experience, ISFps are one of the types most likely to want to keep the peace. The ones I know will go to great lengths including stretching the truth, walking away, acting busy with other activities, changing the subject, ignoring the substance of the comment and focusing instead on another aspect of it, crossing their fingers and hoping it goes away on its own, watching tv, working in the garden....the list goes on. HA.

As for me, I have been known to participate in some of the above listed activities to keep the peace also.

If it's an argument between two other people, I usually walk away. I don't like to be around that type of atmosphere.
Of course if it's something I really care about, I may jump in with barrels blasting, but that's rare.

[KSpin]

It's entirely possible this might come under exertion, or whatever the latest theory from TC is.

[Ms. Kensington]

similar to rockclimber, but i also have a tendency to insert comments when some shit talking is going on about another person, like "that person isn't here to defend themselves" or give reasons why their judgment might be too harsh. People might say that's not peacekeeping but i do it out of "fairness" and i guess the overall mood.

[redbaron]

similar to rockclimber, but i also have a tendency to insert comments when some shit talking is going on about another person, like "that person isn't here to defend themselves" or give reasons why their judgment might be too harsh. People might say that's not peacekeeping but i do it out of "fairness" and i guess the overall mood.

Sure I'd call that peacekeeping. What's more, it's a nice thing to do. And fair.

[Blaze]

Actually, I tend to see as more of a peacekeeping function than . Why? Because it cares for the emotional atmosphere of the group.. especially Alpha for example, Quadra that tries to avoid and dislikes conflict that ruins the overall mood... Despite the fact that Beta can blow up in your face, there is a tendency to go back to happiness after that blow up.. it never really lasts too long, I find, the emotional mood swings in Beta... they're intense but nothing of too much seriousness.. it's almost like a game. It's even a form of peacekeeping to air out all your thoughts ... that is why I like it because Beta never lets their bad emotions fester.. they get them out.

when i read this i feel like i'm more beta. i don't mind confrontations and i do like to mix it up with people when there's tension, or when there's a mood or a 'tude....but i don't like to stay that way. for example, make up sex is the BEST! hahaha

I see as more concerned with long-term evaluations of people.. not likely to change... I've known some Fi seeking types, INTp & ISTp who will hold grudges FOREVER ... they don't really care about the mood .... it's more like what THEY think of the people will never change unless they decide for it to. All around though, I guess is a little more calm, but being an Ego type, I just don't like it and never will. It seems restrictive to me.

i agree with this.

[BLauritson]

I just keep the peace by avoiding conflict altogether. Yeah, so I'm a coward, so fucking what? If you want me to actually resolve the conflict, give me a weapon (preferably a sword) and I'll resolve it with blood. There you go, weak but valued Se. I have no clue how to deal with conflict other than either avoid it or kill the offending party. OR MAYBE THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH FUNCTIONS EH???

I have no idea what the point of this post is. I do apologise.

[implied]

i'm horrible at peacekeeping, and likely to exacerbate arguments when they come about. they can be downright fantastic and oscar-worthy when you've pissed me off enough, and consistently enough.

[KSpin]

I just keep the peace by avoiding conflict altogether. Yeah, so I'm a coward, so fucking what? If you want me to actually resolve the conflict, give me a weapon (preferably a sword) and I'll resolve it with blood. There you go, weak but valued Se. I have no clue how to deal with conflict other than either avoid it or kill the offending party. OR MAYBE THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH FUNCTIONS EH???

I have no idea what the point of this post is. I do apologise.

I tend to be the same. If the conflict is aimed at me, I will usually attempt to defuse the situation. If it's aimed at someone else that's capable of defending themselves, I'll avoid it all together. If it's aimed at someone that cannot defend themselves, then I may step in, depending on how dangerous it would be for me.

[FDG]

That kind of depends on where the conflict is.

I'm the first person at amping up every kind of conflict in most situations like, when playing sports, or competing at school, or such things. I think it's just fun to make stretch a bit the atmosphere with it. I never go along with anybody when they try to cause an argument if I don't feel close to them.

However it's different in romantic relationships - i don't like arguing with my partner because, very simply, quarrels make me feel bad. Especially unresolved arguments - I get a real pain in the chest when this happens. In that case I avoid conflict by changing say, a plan the other party doesn't agree with, or generally solving the problem that causes the conflict, or trying to find a middle ground. I get a little bit neurotic when none of this works and the other sticks with what she wants to do, in that case either I fight back full force, or go along.

I'm bad though at "ending arguments" because I always want the last word.

[Expat]

I see as more concerned with long-term evaluations of people.. not likely to change... I've known some Fi seeking types, INTp & ISTp who will hold grudges FOREVER ... they don't really care about the mood .... it's more like what THEY think of the people will never change unless they decide for it to. All around though, I guess is a little more calm, but being an Ego type, I just don't like it and never will. It seems restrictive to me.

A wonderful criticism of from the PoV of .

Just one clarification -- when you say "carrying grudges forever" and that "what THEY think of the people will never change unless they decide for it to". This gives the impression that is "mean" and unforgiving on purpose, perhaps as if it was putting the other person "on probation" or something. It's not like that. I hold "grudges forever" not because I can switch them off whenever I want to. A person has done something that I find unforgivable -- then what I think of them will be shaped by that because if I were just to tell myself, "ah ok, it's not a big deal" without really believing it, I'd think of that as being fake and insincere.

One example -- the father of a friend of mine is a LIE entrepreneur; well off, but not really rich. He asked his brother to take care of a large amount of money the LIE and his son had inherited (it was easier to do that under the circumstances). The brother - without permission - invested and lost their money.

The LIE commented, "I have two choices. I can either kill him or forgive him. He's my brother, so I guess I have to forgive him".

But he "forgave" his brother in the sense of not raising the issue and putting up a polite façade - he never forgot about it, and never trusted his brother again with money, and he'd never pretend to others that it wasn't a big deal. Because it wouldn't be true.