View Poll Results: Does the description relevant to you describe your IDEAL relationship?

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Thread: Ideal relationship

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    God yes.
    ENFP - Ethical Subtype.
    In touch with semireality.

  3. #3
    Creepy-

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    sdfds

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    Alas, it does.

    Topaz

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    sure
    , Se-sub
    8w8-3w8-7w8 sx/sx

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    That's how it would play out, but what they describe is not what I am looking for. I have no idea what an ideal relationship would be.
    Binary or dichotomous systems, although regulated by a principle, are among the most artificial arrangements that have ever been invented. -- William Swainson, A Treatise on the Geography and Classification of Animals (1835)

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    "I have no idea what an ideal relationship would be."

    Ditto.
    "To become is just like falling asleep. You never know exactly when it happens, the transition, the magic, and you think, if you could only recall that exact moment of crossing the line then you would understand everything; you would see it all"

    "Angels dancing on the head of a pin dissolve into nothingness at the bedside of a dying child."

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    Quote Originally Posted by Cone
    That's how it would play out, but what they describe is not what I am looking for. I have no idea what an ideal relationship would be.
    So what are you looking for?

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    Quote Originally Posted by MysticSonic
    "I have no idea what an ideal relationship would be."

    Ditto.
    There is no such thing.
    “Let us forget with generosity those who cannot love us”
    ― Pablo Neruda

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    Quote Originally Posted by Hugo
    Quote Originally Posted by Cone
    That's how it would play out, but what they describe is not what I am looking for. I have no idea what an ideal relationship would be.
    So what are you looking for?
    Subjective values in the person herself. I'm not looking for a relationship, I'm looking for a person.
    Binary or dichotomous systems, although regulated by a principle, are among the most artificial arrangements that have ever been invented. -- William Swainson, A Treatise on the Geography and Classification of Animals (1835)

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    Quote Originally Posted by MysticSonic
    I've never been a relationship, how am I suppose to know which sorts are "good" and which sorts are "bad"?
    It's all trial and error. Don't even worry about the sorts.
    “Let us forget with generosity those who cannot love us”
    ― Pablo Neruda

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    That's the point.

    I've yet to have any "trials" and thus cannot conclude which "sort" of relationship is best suited for me.
    "To become is just like falling asleep. You never know exactly when it happens, the transition, the magic, and you think, if you could only recall that exact moment of crossing the line then you would understand everything; you would see it all"

    "Angels dancing on the head of a pin dissolve into nothingness at the bedside of a dying child."

  13. #13
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    @mysticsocnic,
    I would say its kind of like this ....To become is just like falling asleep. You never know exactly when it happens, the transition, the magic, and you think, if you could only recall that exact moment of crossing the line then you would understand everything; you would see it all. Yknow what I mean? yeah thats the ticket.
    :wink:

    Topaz

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    Honestly, I just really can't see myself with an S. Sounds boring. My sister is my dual, and although we have always been pretty close, there are things about her that DRIVE ME SO CRAZY that I could not see myself with her type.
    SEE-Se, 852 sx/so

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    //

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    Quote Originally Posted by Cone
    That's how it would play out, but what they describe is not what I am looking for. I have no idea what an ideal relationship would be.
    I was only talking about in the context of personality.

    Because not everyone on the forum has taken it like this, it has affected the expected results.

    Tell me if I'm wrong.

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    I think the trick for an INTj in finding the 'ideal relationship' is to first find someone you are attracted to then surpress all knowledge of Socionics so that you can be irrational enough to just see how you feel and then you can justify yourself later with theory since everything has to 'make sense'.
    Remember to keep things simple and not any simpler like Einstein once said.

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    Quote Originally Posted by snowyc
    I think the trick for an INTj in finding the 'ideal relationship' is to first find someone you are attracted to then surpress all knowledge of Socionics so that you can be irrational enough to just see how you feel and then you can justify yourself later with theory since everything has to 'make sense'.
    I think it should be the other way around.
    TiNe, LII, INTj, etc.
    "I feel like I should be making a sarcastic comment right now, but you're just so cute!" - Shego, Kim Possible

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    oh, the great argument whether to be yourself or think like your dual long enough to grab their attention...
    Remember to keep things simple and not any simpler like Einstein once said.

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    Um, that's not what I meant. I just mean, I think it's better to go by theory first and try to train yourself to be attracted to the sort of person that you need rationally. Then, you can be more carefree later, since the making sense part is taken care of.
    TiNe, LII, INTj, etc.
    "I feel like I should be making a sarcastic comment right now, but you're just so cute!" - Shego, Kim Possible

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    My ideal relationship:

    First of all, it is essential that the person I am with is never clingy, jealous, possessive, and does not have any temper issues. I am a trustworthy person and deserve to be treated as such. This person must also be 100% trustworthy, both in honesty and fidelity.

    Next, I must be intellectually stimulated. I like being around people who are smarter than me, so a partner with a genius level of intelligence is ideal. In the very least this person must have "above average" intelligence.

    I also like the person I am with to not mind my frequent rants. Rants energize me. They must not think I am cold when I talk about how much I hate people or how stupid people are or how irritating men are. When I make broad statements such as these, I do not mean them as broadly as I make it sound, and most of the time I am just frustrated and need to vent.

    I need the person I am with to understand that a relationship can only be as healthy as the least healthy person in it, and enjoy self-discovery and finding balance and seeking enlightenment. Continuously seeking personal growth is a turn on.

    I also like shy people. First of all, I enjoy "the chase" when beginning a relationship. I also do not like flirts because I don't like feeling put on the spot when being flirted with, and I know that if someone flirts with me, they will probably flirt with lots of people, and although I don't get jealous easily, I don't enjoy the person I'm with flirting all the time with whoever.

    This person should also value my uniqueness. I like people who are goofy and playful sometimes. Hatching occasional philosophical theories is a definite plus.

    And honestly.... the thing that I would love more than anything? A stay-at-home spouse, or at least somewhat of a homemaker. Perhaps even someone who works from home? Or part time? I would like to have a few more kids, and having a stay-home spouse to take care of them seems ideal. I would also like this person to handle household chores and errands, or will at least direct the help in doing their jobs appropriately. I love to cook and will gladly take on this chore, but as for the rest.... if I never had to think about mowing the lawn, going out to buy toilet paper and dog food, and doing dishes or laundry ever again, I would be so estatic I wouldn't know what to do with myself!

    I also thought it would be fun to have someone to totally spoil and dote on, but not all of the time... I can also be rather distant at times, so this person would need to understand that my day-to-day habits and feelings will change quite a bit, and not be insecure if I am not paying total attention. My feelings only get stronger when I can ignore someone and that person does not get upset in the least and enjoys having that time to themselves or for whatever. I, however, cannnot be ingored when I want attention.... *shrugs* I didn't say it's fair...

    I don't want the person I'm with to be a social animal who will go out given any opportunity and feels restless at home.... but good grief is it getting irritating being with someone who NEVER wants to leave the house. I like going out to eat, shopping from time to time, going out once in a awhile, and visiting friends from time to time. Going out once every couple of weeks would be more than sufficient.

    I tend to have mood swings, so someone who will help me minimize them and not cater to them would be most healthy. That's one of the reasons I'm with my INTj... A little more sympathy would be nice from time to time, but not as much as exes have given me in the past.

    Sexually I want someone who feels totally comfortable with me. Imagination and playfulness are good things, as well as a desire to learn. The more people a person has been with, the less attractive they are. I'm so tired of hearing people say that women want to be with partners with a lot of experience. That's disgusting.


    Hmmmmmmmm what am I forgeting?
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    So does this sound like an ISFp? It doesn't to me... I could be wrong though....
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    Quote Originally Posted by Joy
    So does this sound like an ISFp? It doesn't to me... I could be wrong though....
    Yeah I could see and ISFP fitting most of this. Maybe not the honesty part :wink: lol!

    Topaz

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    Sounds like ISFp.

    Joy, read this and see if it describes your ideal relationship:

    http://www.socioniko.net/en/1.3.rels/dual-1p.html

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    I had read that description before I voted or posted, but it didn't really seem to influence me to believe all this business about duals. I, however, just realized that one time I dated my dual. Before we started dating we talked about how he had cheated on every girlfriend he'd had, crushing a few of them. I told him, "You need to have your heart broken," and he said, "That's a terrrible thing to wish on a person!!!" I told him that a broken heart would probably be the only way he'd learn to treat people the way he ought to. He needed to know how it felt to really care for someone and then be very hurt, but at the time he had never gotten close enough to anyone for them to hurt him.

    It wasn't long after that when we started dating. He called me his girlfriend a few times, but I was quick to correct him. He knew damn well that the relationship was not exclusive. We got along sooooo well. He talked about when we'd get married (and he even described it just like I described my ideal relationship in my last post!!! That was before I knew that that's what I wanted!). I think the relationsip lasted for about six months. He was hurt that I never agreed to be with him, but even though I wanted to, I just couldn't. I couldn't bring myself to trust him. When I broke things off with him he reminded me of our conversation, telling me that I got my wish. He ended up in a relationship a year later that he is still in today (6 years later) and to the best of my knowledge, he has not cheated on this person. I talk to him every now and then. And I still wear the thumb ring he gave me every day. (It wasn't a thumb ring on him, but it only fits on my thumb. I had always taken it off his hand and worn it and then given it back, and he eventually told me that if I liked it that much I should keep it.) *sigh* So I guess I do believe that a relationship with my dual would be best (one that I could trust though). I take back my "no" vote in exchange for a "yes". Not that any of this matters anyways though.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Joy
    Honestly, I just really can't see myself with an S. Sounds boring. My sister is my dual, and although we have always been pretty close, there are things about her that DRIVE ME SO CRAZY that I could not see myself with her type.
    your sister is your dual?

    i thought my sister was my supervisor, which makes sense. that was when i thought i was INTp, but if i am INTj then she is my semi dual whichuh.. i dont know if it makes sense or not

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    I'm married to my dual and we're quite happy. I've been happy in other relationships too though, and unhappy in some. I think a lot of different kinds of relationships can be made to work, but I have to admit I like having a realtionship I don't have to work at.
    It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.
    -Mark Twain


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    In the entp-isfp one, entp acts like a baby whilst the isfp takes care of the entp. Sorry this really doesn't float by boat. I'll take my estp any day.

    D
    Entp
    ILE

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    Quote Originally Posted by Nicky
    . . . but I have to admit I like having a realtionship I don't have to work at.
    I would love to be alone . . . live by myself with enough money to pay other people to do household chores and prepare my meals, etc. Then I wouldn't have to bother working at anything. I could hire an escort to travel with me or when . . . well, you know . . . hey discojoe! !
    <--- Me pouring out all my love on you!

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    If you were 30 years younger I might find you attractive.

    Anyways, that lazy fantasy world of yours seems to be how Jung described the irrational introverts. He said:

    The two types just depicted are almost inaccessible to external judgment. Because they are introverted and have in consequence a somewhat meagre capacity or willingness for expression, they offer but a frail handle for a telling criticism. Since their main activity is directed within, nothing is outwardly visible but reserve, secretiveness, lack of sympathy, or uncertainty, and an apparently groundless perplexity. When anything does come to the surface, it usually consists in indirect manifestations of inferior and relatively unconscious functions. Manifestations of such a nature naturally excite a certain environmental prejudice against these types. Accordingly they are mostly underestimated, or at least misunderstood. To the same degree as they fail to understand themselves -- because they very largely lack judgment -- they are also powerless to understand why they are so constantly undervalued by public opinion. They cannot see that their outward-going expression is, as a matter of fact, also of an inferior character. Their vision is enchanted by the abundance of subjective events. What happens there is so captivating, and of such inexhaustible attraction, that they do not appreciate the fact that their habitual communications to their circle express very, little of that real experience in which they themselves are, as it were, caught up. The fragmentary and, as a rule, quite episodic character of their communications make too great a demand upon the understanding and good will of their circle; furthermore, their mode of expression lacks that flowing warmth to the object which alone can have convincing force. On the contrary, these types show very often a brusque, repelling demeanour towards the outer world, although of this they are quite unaware, and have not the least intention of showing it. We shall form a [p. 512] fairer judgment of such men and grant them a greater indulgence, when we begin to realize how hard it is to translate into intelligible language what is perceived within. Yet this indulgence must not be so liberal as to exempt them altogether from the necessity of such expression. This could be only detrimental for such types. Fate itself prepares for them, perhaps even more than for other men, overwhelming external difficulties, which have a very sobering effect upon the intoxication of the inner vision. But frequently only an intense personal need can wring from them a human expression.

    From an extraverted and rationalistic standpoint, such types are indeed the most fruitless of men. But, viewed from a higher standpoint, such men are living evidence of the fact that this rich and varied world with its overflowing and intoxicating life is not purely external, but also exists within. These types are admittedly one sided demonstrations of Nature, but they are an educational experience for the man who refuses to be blinded by the intellectual mode of the day. In their own way, men with such an attitude are educators and promoters of culture. Their life teaches more than their words. From their lives, and not the least from what is just their greatest fault, viz. their incommunicability, we may understand one of the greatest errors of our civilization, that is, the superstitious belief in statement and presentation, the immoderate overprizing of instruction by means of word and method. A child certainly allows himself to be impressed by the grand talk of its parents. But is it really imagined that the child is thereby educated? Actually it is the parents' lives that educate the child -- what they add thereto by word and gesture at best serves only to confuse him. The same holds good for the teacher. But we have such a belief in method that, if only the method be good, the practice of it seems to hallow the teacher. An inferior [p. 513] man is never. a good teacher. But he can conceal his injurious inferiority, which secretly poisons the pupil, behind an excellent method or, an equally brilliant intellectual capacity. Naturally the pupil of riper years desires nothing better than the knowledge of useful methods, because he is already defeated by the general attitude, which believes in the victorious method. He has already learnt that the emptiest head, correctly echoing a method, is the best pupil. His whole environment not only urges but exemplifies the doctrine that all success and happiness are external, and that only the right method is needed to attain the haven of one's desires. Or is the life of his religious instructor likely to demonstrate that happiness which radiates from the treasure of the inner vision? The irrational introverted types are certainly no instructors of a more complete humanity. They lack reason and the ethics of reason, but their lives teach the other possibility, in which our civilization is so deplorably wanting.
    ... I found that interesting, anyways.
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    Rocky said: ... I found that interesting, anyways.

    Yes, especially the second paragraph. Thank you. Still working on finding a good picture of me. I think I know where to look. Be right back . . .
    <--- Me pouring out all my love on you!

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    Quote Originally Posted by Artemis
    Quote Originally Posted by Nicky
    . . . but I have to admit I like having a realtionship I don't have to work at.
    I would love to be alone . . . live by myself with enough money to pay other people to do household chores and prepare my meals, etc. Then I wouldn't have to bother working at anything. I could hire an escort to travel with me or when . . . well, you know . . . hey discojoe! !
    I'm afraid to say that household chores and meal preparation are my jobs . . . so I'm working at something. I didn't go back to work after our daughter was born and someone's got to do that kind of stuff, so that would be me.
    It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nicky
    Quote Originally Posted by Artemis
    Quote Originally Posted by Nicky
    . . . but I have to admit I like having a realtionship I don't have to work at.
    I would love to be alone . . . live by myself with enough money to pay other people to do household chores and prepare my meals, etc. Then I wouldn't have to bother working at anything. I could hire an escort to travel with me or when . . . well, you know . . . hey discojoe! !
    I'm afraid to say that household chores and meal preparation are my jobs . . . so I'm working at something. I didn't go back to work after our daughter was born and someone's got to do that kind of stuff, so that would be me.
    I know where you are coming from. I am a stay-at-homer too and love every minute of it. The housework & laundry & meals, as much as I hate them, are my responsibility. The kids have school and homework and my husband has his employment. My job is to take care of the house and I find nothing demeaning in said job . . . especially since I do it out of love. I have nothing to prove by working outside the home . . . been there . . . done that . . . no thank you!
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    Quote Originally Posted by Artemis
    I know where you are coming from. I am a stay-at-homer too and love every minute of it. The housework & laundry & meals, as much as I hate them, are my responsibility. The kids have school and homework and my husband has his employment. My job is to take care of the house and I find nothing demeaning in said job . . . especially since I do it out of love. I have nothing to prove by working outside the home . . . been there . . . done that . . . no thank you!
    I agree 100%. Me staying home reduces our stress level and gives both of us more leisure time, so it's working for both of us. The "doing it out of love" thing is my only real motivation to do housework though.
    It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.
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    edit
    “Let us forget with generosity those who cannot love us”
    ― Pablo Neruda

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    Okay, perhaps I wasn't 100% honest there. (about the housework)

    I often wonder if I am (or have, they are 17 & 18) doing my kids a disservice by not expecting them to do household chores. I do require that they clean up after themselves but dishes & laundry are my jobs. They have enough on their plate being children and with school and with outside activites and hobbies. My philosophy is that kids should be kids. People always say things like how is a kid going to learn the value of money when you give him everything. Well . . . I guess he'll just have to learn the hard way. My husband gets all boogered up because my son in college does not have a job. I deposit personal spending money (I supply all his other needs) into his account every month. He has the responsibility to study. I want for him the freedom to study and explore. He has the responsibility to budget and if he doesn't well, too bad. But if I can make his life easier I will. I know what doing without is all about. We all parent and live from experience and simply hope for the best.
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    Kim said: That is exactly what my ISTp ex wanted!

    And you wanted what? I think a woman should do whatever makes her feel worthy. I'm sure you do too. I think it would be wonderful to be like a big executive powerful woman. It was a dream for a while but I didn't take the steps necessary to make it happen. It was what I wanted then but not now. So it all worked out with no regrets.
    <--- Me pouring out all my love on you!

    Some days its just not worth chewing through the restraints.

  38. #38

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    Quote Originally Posted by Artemis
    Quote Originally Posted by Nicky
    Quote Originally Posted by Artemis
    Quote Originally Posted by Nicky
    . . . but I have to admit I like having a realtionship I don't have to work at.
    I would love to be alone . . . live by myself with enough money to pay other people to do household chores and prepare my meals, etc. Then I wouldn't have to bother working at anything. I could hire an escort to travel with me or when . . . well, you know . . . hey discojoe! !
    I'm afraid to say that household chores and meal preparation are my jobs . . . so I'm working at something. I didn't go back to work after our daughter was born and someone's got to do that kind of stuff, so that would be me.
    I know where you are coming from. I am a stay-at-homer too and love every minute of it. The housework & laundry & meals, as much as I hate them, are my responsibility. The kids have school and homework and my husband has his employment. My job is to take care of the house and I find nothing demeaning in said job . . . especially since I do it out of love. I have nothing to prove by working outside the home . . . been there . . . done that . . . no thank you!
    I agree completely! Although I enjoy my work, at times, I'd really like to stay home with my kids; I'm reaching the conclusion that this time is what's really most important. If I didn't have to work, I don't think I would, for sure.
    Entp
    ILE

  39. #39

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    Quote Originally Posted by Artemis
    Okay, perhaps I wasn't 100% honest there. (about the housework)

    I often wonder if I am (or have, they are 17 & 18) doing my kids a disservice by not expecting them to do household chores. I do require that they clean up after themselves but dishes & laundry are my jobs. They have enough on their plate being children and with school and with outside activites and hobbies. My philosophy is that kids should be kids. People always say things like how is a kid going to learn the value of money when you give him everything. Well . . . I guess he'll just have to learn the hard way. My husband gets all boogered up because my son in college does not have a job. I deposit personal spending money (I supply all his other needs) into his account every month. He has the responsibility to study. I want for him the freedom to study and explore. He has the responsibility to budget and if he doesn't well, too bad. But if I can make his life easier I will. I know what doing without is all about. We all parent and live from experience and simply hope for the best.
    What a gift that you are able to do this for him. I would have loved to not have to work while in college.
    Entp
    ILE

  40. #40
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    bump
    SEE-Se, 852 sx/so

    Check out my Socionics group! https://www.facebook.com/groups/1546362349012193/

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