This is basically a parody of every psychological mental masturbation article you’ll ever read. Enjoy! (Warning: For (mostly) entertainment purposes only.) Even though it was intended as one big joke I’m not saying that I necessarily agree or disagree with anything I wrote hehe.
The Hypothesis of Hypocritical Relational Development theorem in a Destructive World, by bulletsanddoves.
The entire basis of any psychological compatibility theory is simply that certain likes are innately attracted and repulsed by each other and certain dislikes are innately attracted and repulsed by each other. The most rewarding people to be around are those that match up these enigmas perfectly. It’s not that opposites always attract, and similarities always repulse, in fact to say so would be heterosexist and simply untrue, people aren’t batteries or paper clips (thank you south park). It is finding precisely just what similar things match up well and what opposites match up well.
Input + Input: Clash
Reception + Reception: Clash
Input + Reception: Blend
For it is said a time whence a whine, maybe we are mostly straight for this one reason alone- that and the natural babies such love reproduces, though there needs to be the perfect blending of homoness and straightness and it starts here, somewhat, though first heterosexuality is preferred. If you pull, people push, if you push people pull- the natural ties of life, action and reaction, begins here …lightning strikes, but it needs something to be struck upon. With true same-ness here, nothing would really develop. It is purely heterosexuality in nature. Though life didn’t always exist of course, the universe started out ‘gay’ but maybe it just got bored of itself after awhile, though not too bored- since the expanding nothingness is always more powerful than the ‘meaning’ straightness brings.
Cruelty + Kindness: Clash
Cruelty + Cruelty/Kindness + Kindness: Blend
Almost a pure brand of homo-ness here, like attracts like has never been more clear, the light, idealistic heart has never found certain sins forgivable, cruelty is subjective- so it does indeed ‘depend’, but it is not just the label we give words, but the deeper meanings. It is clear that this is the case, and the ‘mathematical formula’ is just. Would also explain in a more roundabout way why so many religious and moral figures are a bunch of homos. It is not that anything is actually cruel per se, it’s that they label anything they can’t deal with as cruel, but it is a true opposition, they will find more love within themselves, and that should be celebrated. Somethings it would appear; were just not meant to mix, which is why we only have ‘life’ on one planet most likely. And why it’s just so damn short!
Idealism + Realism: Both clash and blend, factors subjective
The raw inertia force of this can clash, blunt idealism and blunt realism have been fighting in an epic battle since the inferno of all creations, although the right blend of idealism and realism to which it matches up matters the most. Idealism also needs realism to believe in itself as it would be for naught, it just can’t expect to be realistic itself, though it has to understand the logic behind its partner and that their realness does not soften the love for him. This is bisexual pride at its finest.
Action + Action = Blend
Inaction + Inaction = Blend
Action + Inaction = Clash
While it might seem otherwise to the naked observer it is not so, for action produces more action not inaction, and with two people if one is being active and the other isn’t, conflicts will naturally arise. Two inactive people are comfortable just going through the winds, a certain easiness for both of them, creating action in an inaction person is deceptive, it will be ‘active’ naturally on its own accord without the help, the action will be self-evident in its inaction. This is harmony. Two compatible types never try to change the person by saying ‘be more active!’ any kind of harsh demands would cause uneasiness in anybody, instead they will simply cause them to be more active by their own will. Another example of the bonding spirits of homosexuality and heterosexuality. It also explains why a gay label is ultimately self-defeating, as it is really a sense of satisfaction with all sides of yourself, recognizing you are a queer being, though you had to be paradoxically created by straightness. As it is below, so it is above! We will all come together, someday.
True inaction doesn’t want action contrary to popular belief, it wants to be able to feel confident and active about its inaction. Yes, in its result state it looks like that action is meeting up with inaction but it started at the source as two inactive types finding comfort and meaning in being inactive, or two action types being able to bounce their accomplishments back and forth. The submissive, yin says it can only open up when it meets a yang that is so not true it naturally retracts, it will open up only when somebody respects the yin and to do that they have to have yin inside themselves as well.
Commitment + Commiment: Blend
Commitment + Promiscuity: Clash
It is known for many beings to sacrifice their inner love to breed, but then go back to the love of sameness…. as to them their true ideals hold dear. (God created another male first after all) Gayness wins again (though both win at the end eventually when two perfect types match up) as two types that are commitment naturally expect both conditions within the other.
Wars come precisely from the imbalance of heterosexuality and homosexuality, two natural forces seeming at war with each other, though we really are at peace. One cannot exist without the other, though there are Dark Ones that walk upon this earth that do not agree with that. War itself is not wrong, though – it can be any situation that is completely and utterly ‘evil’ but saying war invokes such a response that the label is required.
Sun isn’t necessarily straight and the Moon isn’t necessarily gay. You can call the sun gay and moon straight, or whatever you wish- and they don’t necessarily clash OR blend- it is only the illusion that they do. You were right all along, nothing really is real, it only matters that you think it is. After all it’s a miracle you are here, but it also seems so dead and pointless sometimes, doesn’t it? That’s because it is. Heterosexuality is the greatest triumph and the greatest evil (same with homosexuality) There is no perfection… only what we have to deal with, the true meaning of life- when your die your Soulmate will instantly purge in a billion rainbow colors and make you feel fine just whoever you are, you will then naturally conquer the world, all worlds without trying. This is what happens when you die. You don’t go to heaven, you become it. All your neurosis stems from over-accepting or not accepting a side of yourself enough. Balance your energies. Balance to become whole, not balance to become stagnant. You are stagnant precisely because you are not balanced. Think you will have the same polr your entire life? Think again. Move above. And beyond. Do what can’t be done. That is all you have to do. The impossible. But you can do it. Then again you probably won’t. This was supposed to encourage you, but you already know things aren’t really looking up.