SLIs-ISTps are so mysterious

[Slacker]

Here's my evening:

Husband gets home from work. Changes out of work clothes. Sits. I get this feeling he is not content. (He has two expressions - content, and not content, and they are pretty darn similar.)

How was work?
*shrug*
Did anything bad happen?
*shakes head*
Did anything unusual happen?
*shakes head*
Are you ok?
*nods head*
Are you content?
*shrugs* (this means no, by the way)
Are you still hungry?
*shakes head*
Are you thirsty?
*shakes head, and then vaguely nods head toward glass of water*
Do you need something?
*shrugs*

I look around. I see our daughter is wanting to play Super Mario something-or-another.

Are you not wanting to play Super Mario Whatever?
*no movement - no response* (this means yes, by the way)

I tell my daughter that if she wants Daddy's attention, she can sit next to him and read while he watches a show. I turn off the game and give him the remote control. He turns on some monster truck thing and looks content.

Is everything OK now?
*nods*

[ScarlettLux]

Ugh, that would drive me insane. How can you stand it? Is he monosyllabic?

[jewels]

LOL!!

[Slacker]

Ugh, that would drive me insane. How can you stand it? Is he monosyllabic?

He was even quieter than usual tonight. After more digging, I've figured out that part of what is bugging him is that we have something we're doing this weekend but he really wants to go to this auction where there are going to be a bunch of old cars and old car parts. But this event we're going to is a really big event, it's through his work so we can't go without him, and our daughter is really looking forward to it. And they are an hours drive apart and at the exact same time.

He is generally very quiet though. There are some circumstances where he opens up and becomes chatty but it's unusual.

He seems happier after talking about that - I came up with a few ideas about how to handle that problem (the best one is that a friend could go to the auction and talk to him via cell phone, and he could run out there immediately after the event to pay for what he wanted) - and he and the kid are now dropping off used motor oil at a car parts shop with an oil recycling collection thing. She loves tagging along to things like that for some reason.

[jewels]

I came up with a few ideas about how to handle that problem (the best one is that a friend could go to the auction and talk to him via cell phone, and he could run out there immediately after the event to pay for what he wanted)

That sounds like a great compromise! So I wonder if ENFP and ISTP are compatible because ENFPs ask so many questions?

[meatburger]

lol

I like those moments when ISTp's open up to ya. An new ISTp friend of mine went all chatty last night i was like cool

[Mea]

He didn't get irritated with you asking like that? I know some people who would.
Sorry. Don't know much about ISTps.

[meatburger]

He didn't get irritated with you asking like that? I know some people who would.
Sorry. Don't know much about ISTps.

No i doubt they would. Perhaps sometimes they would but it seems like duality to me. He actually wanted on the inside to have her ask questions and show that she cared and thats exactly what she did. Slacker mom wins at Fi

ISTp's are funny little critters my mind goes blank talking to them. Im talking to one over the internet right now. I normally try to be some exciting person and to some extent i succeed but i dont often with ISTp's. Im starting to realise that they dont care if i dont blab about everything which is great.

[flower]

Hmm, I get a little annoyed at people asking 'are you ok' or things similar like that, even if im not actually ok lol, its just if I want someone to help me or talk to me to make me feel better or something I will initiate someting myself.

About opening up to people, I find that im a kinda typical ISTp around most people, quite quiet and reserved, and dont share much personal stuff, but I do find sometimes that some people I have known for a while, I get a really good connection with, and I open up to the completely, and I would tell anything to. Its hard to find people that I feel 'right' opening upto, and you can only have a small number of people at anyone time who you have that kind of relationship with, but I think this is probably true for most people generally. Personally I <3 that kinda of relationship, and crave it sometimes if I dont have someone immediately around like that....and its so sad when someone like that leaves you life.

[Slacker]

LOL I tread gently when I try to figure out what's wrong. He won't just tell me, and he does get annoyed if I pester. But I can't stand it when he's sitting there and seems to be unhappy and I have no idea what the reason is or even if he actually is unhappy. I have some compulsion to figure out what's going on one way or the other.

And my questions weren't shotgun style like written out. I pause a bit between questions so as to not piss him off. I try to be subtle about figuring out what's bothering him. I don't know how subtle I am because sometimes he tells me to just leave him alone. But I can't stop! Anyway, by the time he and my daughter got back from the car parts store he was whistling so he must have been OK again.

[meatburger]

Hmm, I get a little annoyed at people asking 'are you ok' or things similar like that, even if im not actually ok lol, its just if I want someone to help me or talk to me to make me feel better or something I will initiate someting myself.

Yeah im actually exactly the same. Even if im going through a really tough stage i get incredibly irritated if people ask me if im ok. My poor INFj friend worries about me every now and then but ive told him i dont need his help i just need to do things my way. An ESTj at work once commented to me that i seemed a little down. I ended up snapping at her after a couple of days as i was trying not to think about it. I think what shits me about it is i act quite happy 95% of the time so the other 5% they notice really quickly. Then i start thinking "shit everyone else has probablly noticed too". Sadly for me i find it almost impossible to stay in a mopey mood. After a day i start trying hard to pull myself out of it. I feel very drawn to other people in mopey moods aswell. I feel like pulling them out of it aswell. Sometimes just not trying is refreshing lol

I would take a shrug from an ISTp in that situation as an attention seeking behavior to be honest. If they flat out said "dont want to talk about it" i would like ok then.

[Slacker]

Yes - I have learned that his shrug means there is something wrong and he wants it solved. Or maybe he just wants empathy or something. Anyway, it seems to be a sign to continue.

If I push too hard he'll tell me to leave him alone. And he'll get irate if I keep pushing after he's told me he's had enough. There's a bit of a learning curve in getting used to how to handle these things. There's a learning curve in any relationship. But I think I've got that part figured out anyway.

[meatburger]

Yeah my ISTj dad does a similar thing. He will walk around the house with his sad face on and if we ask him a question it will be like really quiet and his body language he wont even look at you. He did it the other day and my mum said hes upset because hes always out in the garden doing work. I went out and helped him in the garden and it did seem to brighten his day.

Still ISTj's are probablly slightly more attention seeking than ISTps, they probablly want an ENFj to say "whats wrong with you grumpy bum?" or something like that lol.

[Manana]

I thought that to loosen up ISTp, ENFp do their talking, pouring whatever comes to the mind out, but not asking the questions....actually ENFp are known to be chatty and that relaxes ISTps and they open up slowly. Just talking about yourself & the surrounding world without asking direct questions. Also, ENFps are trying to make fun out of routine by providing a lot of options and that also suppose to engage ISTps.

[meatburger]

hello Manana Bananna

I dunno lol, how to be the perfect ENFp? I think its a case by case basis. Slackermom is married to this guy. She probablly doesn't always have stuff to talk about herself and in her home and street etc. I also think its very hard to be chatty to someone who is in a bad mood and gruff so she tried to resolve that so she can get into her usual mode. In general what your saying sounds right though, eventually the ISTp will reveal snippets of themselves as they feel more comfortable.

[eunice]

I can get frustrated with ISTps when they are rather taciturn or monosyllabic. I just wish that they can be more straightforward and tell me more about what they are thinking or feeling rather than keeping me in suspense.

[Slacker]

I thought that to loosen up ISTp, ENFp do their talking, pouring whatever comes to the mind out, but not asking the questions....actually ENFp are known to be chatty and that relaxes ISTps and they open up slowly. Just talking about yourself & the surrounding world without asking direct questions. Also, ENFps are trying to make fun out of routine by providing a lot of options and that also suppose to engage ISTps.

I'm chatty too but not in every circumstance. Also, my husband and I have been married for a long time. I don't have to "open him up" around me in the same way you do with someone you don't know well.

[HitmanISTP]

x

[zenbrat]

They can be pretty chatty until you piss them off. Once you do, forget it. Have a seat. Wait it out. No other choice.

[Mea]

They can be pretty chatty until you piss them off. Once you do, forget it. Have a seat. Wait it out. No other choice.

Ahh, that's not that bad.
I'm good at that.
(I mean waiting it out, not pissing people off. I think.)

[Park]

What would be really interesting is having Slacker Mom's husband find out about this thread. If he sits on their comp, starts opening websites in "history" and somehow stumbles across these pages... Then she 'll really need to wait it out...

[Slacker]

I don't think he really likes me talking about him, but there's a level of anonymity here so he probably wouldn't care too much. He knows I talk about him at least to some extent because I ask him ISTp-ish questions sometimes and he'll say, "stop asking me those kinds of questions!"

[XoX]

What would be really interesting is having Slacker Mom's husband find out about this thread. If he sits on their comp, starts opening websites in "history" and somehow stumbles across these pages... Then she 'll really need to wait it out...

That would probably be true to all people here who keep revealing pretty private things about their friends, family, co-workers, ... I do that too sometimes. Many if not most people do. It is hard to avoid it as this is a good place for that. Actually it is one of those things that makes this place interesting. That you can do that and people will voluntarily analyze those people even if they don't know who they are.

[meatburger]

What would be really interesting is having Slacker Mom's husband find out about this thread. If he sits on their comp, starts opening websites in "history" and somehow stumbles across these pages... Then she 'll really need to wait it out...

That would probably be true to all people here who keep revealing pretty private things about their friends, family, co-workers, ... I do that too sometimes. Many if not most people do. It is hard to avoid it as this is a good place for that. Actually it is one of those things that makes this place interesting. That you can do that and people will voluntarily analyze those people even if they don't know who they are.

Yeah i said a few things about an INFj friend a while back and it just happened that he started reading the forum and dredging up all these old posts. I hadn't really said anything too bad luckily but he got annoyed at a few things. I keep it in mind when i post these days

[XoX]

What would be really interesting is having Slacker Mom's husband find out about this thread. If he sits on their comp, starts opening websites in "history" and somehow stumbles across these pages... Then she 'll really need to wait it out...

That would probably be true to all people here who keep revealing pretty private things about their friends, family, co-workers, ... I do that too sometimes. Many if not most people do. It is hard to avoid it as this is a good place for that. Actually it is one of those things that makes this place interesting. That you can do that and people will voluntarily analyze those people even if they don't know who they are.

Yeah i said a few things about an INFj friend a while back and it just happened that he started reading the forum and dredging up all these old posts. I hadn't really said anything too bad luckily but he got annoyed at a few things. I keep it in mind when i post these days

Heh. Yeah. If I think myself in a position where e.g. some of my co-worker would post here detailed and psychologically sensitive stories about me...or perhaps an ex-gf telling detailed stories of how my erotic attitude used to manifest and where we matched and where not...and then they'd attach my pic to those posts...I would likely sue them or something, lol.

Actually I would like to clean that kind of stuff from my previous posts but I'm definately not going to go through the trouble...I just try to be more careful from now on..

[Slacker]

I have deleted a lot of old stuff about people - particularly my parents because I'm afraid their feelings would be hurt. But my husband would just roll his eyes at me so I don't worry too much about that.