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Thread: Aggressive Si

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    Default Aggressive Si

    Does anybody feel like Si types try to force Si down your throat (for example, suggesting that you eat more)? I wonder if especially people with superego Si feel this way about it. (I think Kristiina mentioned something like this once.)

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    Yeah, I've noticed that a fair amount. Usually I'd just outright show them that I don't want their crap. If that doesn't work though, giving them a vague, half-assed answer can also do the trick.

    I've seen this much more (almost exclusively) in creative Si types, though.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Herzy
    I've seen this much more (almost exclusively) in creative Si types, though.
    Yeah, I was mostly thinking of ESFjs and maybe ESTjs.

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    lol I was going to say that I never push on people. If you don't want to eat anymore... then don't eat anymore. It's no skin off my back.

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    I'm sure I'm like this when it comes to alchohol.

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    I honestly don't think forcing food down people's heads is the entirety of Si types agenda.

    If someone is trying to force Si on you it may sound like this: "Hey you want to go play tennis today? What, why not? You know you have all those sleeping problems and it's because you never get out of the house and burn any energy."

    But generally, Si types are really cool about things. Si types will suggest things to benefit your healh, but force is absolutely contradictory to the whole Si value.

    It's not, "oh honey bunch you need to eat mo'. Here is a heaping helpful of mama's good food sweetiepie. eat up you gotta be big and strong."

    fuuuck. But whatever.
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    I dunno, I know someone I believe to be ESFj who is... if not forceful then insistent. "Do you want some chicken?" "No thanks, I'm not hungry." "Please?" "No, I'm all right." "Oh come onnn." "Seriously, please stop asking me." "Awwww... pleeeeease?"

    It gets really annoying because I don't like repeating myself but I always feel like I should answer too. And then when I lose my patience and snap at her I become "mean."

    Anyway, not sure if that's an ESFj thing or just this individual.
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    Awww don't worry Heath. Some of us love the Si. Heap it on!

    My husband would never try to make people eat anything. I don't think he cares in the slightest what other people eat. Hmm except maybe me and our daughter. Especially our daughter. He's always asking what our daughter has had to eat each day.

    My ESFj mother in law wouldnt' so much try to get people to eat as she would give constant advice about food, amount, type, etc.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Elro
    I dunno, I know someone I believe to be ESFj who is... if not forceful then insistent. "Do you want some chicken?" "No thanks, I'm not hungry." "Please?" "No, I'm all right." "Oh come onnn." "Seriously, please stop asking me." "Awwww... pleeeeease?"

    It gets really annoying because I don't like repeating myself but I always feel like I should answer too. And then when I lose my patience and snap at her I become "mean."

    Anyway, not sure if that's an ESFj thing or just this individual.
    yeah, this is honestly how my ESFj mother is. the way heath describes surfaces sometimes with my mom but rarely does she give such practical reasons. i can see how this could be helpful to INTjs, but damnit, when i say no i mean no! not "ask me again and then get all hurt when i refuse!"
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    hm i thought this was just a mom thing. But i could see it happening with other Si ego types. I guess I like it because I don't assert myself very often so if someone insists, and I really want it, it can be ok, but it can be really annoying, almost to the point of driving me mad, if they keep doing it when you say no in a clear way. I have an ISTp friend who asks "are you sure" but most of the time she will say, "ill get it" if im fumbling around. This is slightly less obtrusive feeling than an Si+Fe caretaking.

    It is really upsetting, because it feels like you don't have a choice, and maybe its different for other types, but for me im all about the autonomous choice.

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    Quote Originally Posted by thehotelambush
    Quote Originally Posted by Herzy
    I've seen this much more (almost exclusively) in creative Si types, though.
    Yeah, I was mostly thinking of ESFjs and maybe ESTjs.
    Yes, it makes me dread seeing them. They pry into personal things and give unsolicited advice. A lot of it. Very often.
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    Quote Originally Posted by heath

    If someone is trying to force Si on you it may sound like this: "You know you have all those sleeping problems and it's because you never get out of the house and burn any energy."
    That doesn't sound like Si to me, even though it's about health and people think Si=health. Trying to convince someone to do something because it will solve a problem, or because of an interpretation of the facts, is more Te (although not necessarily coming from a Te type).

    Something an ESE type once did to me was to give me all the leftovers of some brownies, without asking if I wanted them. I didn't want to eat the leftovers at all (especially since it wasn't really sanitary, and they were basically just crumbs); but contrary to the *theory*, I wasn't really bothered, because I knew it was well-intentioned. The only thing that was somewhat bothersome was that I had to figure out how to get rid of them without the person noticing.

    One thing that does bother me is if someone asks if I'm going to eat something on my plate, just because I didn't get to that particular food item yet. "Aren't you going to eat your potatoes? Aren't you going to drink your juice?" I find that really annoying. I'm not sure where that comes from. It might be Si or something else.

    I think there are some non-type-related reasons why some people try to force food on others. One is that people who eat too much feel better about themselves if everyone else is eating too much. Another is old-fashioned ideas acquired from before people learned that it's better not to eat so much.

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    Aggressive Si to me means people saying: "RELAX"

    No! I don't wanna relax! Okay! I'm always this tense and hyped up, why are you bringing me down? Stop it!


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    Quote Originally Posted by Jonathan
    Something an ESE type once did to me was to give me all the leftovers of some brownies, without asking if I wanted them. I didn't want to eat the leftovers at all (especially since it wasn't really sanitary, and they were basically just crumbs); but contrary to the *theory*, I wasn't really bothered, because I knew it was well-intentioned. The only thing that was somewhat bothersome was that I had to figure out how to get rid of them without the person noticing.
    That sounds like the beginnings of a sitcom plot.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Elro
    Quote Originally Posted by Jonathan
    Something an ESE type once did to me was to give me all the leftovers of some brownies, without asking if I wanted them. I didn't want to eat the leftovers at all (especially since it wasn't really sanitary, and they were basically just crumbs); but contrary to the *theory*, I wasn't really bothered, because I knew it was well-intentioned. The only thing that was somewhat bothersome was that I had to figure out how to get rid of them without the person noticing.
    That sounds like the beginnings of a sitcom plot.
    Mr Furley working outside on the doorbell

    Jack (muffled) "I just don't know how we're going to get rid of those brownie's down at the resturant!"

    * zoom in on Mr Furley's eyes bugging out*


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    Quote Originally Posted by Bionicgoat
    Quote Originally Posted by Elro
    Quote Originally Posted by Jonathan
    Something an ESE type once did to me was to give me all the leftovers of some brownies, without asking if I wanted them. I didn't want to eat the leftovers at all (especially since it wasn't really sanitary, and they were basically just crumbs); but contrary to the *theory*, I wasn't really bothered, because I knew it was well-intentioned. The only thing that was somewhat bothersome was that I had to figure out how to get rid of them without the person noticing.
    That sounds like the beginnings of a sitcom plot.
    Mr Furley working outside on the doorbell

    Jack (muffled) "I just don't know how we're going to get rid of those brownie's down at the resturant!"

    * zoom in on Mr Furley's eyes bugging out*

    ROFL !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    You'd have to have some sexually ambiguous comment too though.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Slacker Mom
    Quote Originally Posted by Bionicgoat
    Quote Originally Posted by Elro
    Quote Originally Posted by Jonathan
    Something an ESE type once did to me was to give me all the leftovers of some brownies, without asking if I wanted them. I didn't want to eat the leftovers at all (especially since it wasn't really sanitary, and they were basically just crumbs); but contrary to the *theory*, I wasn't really bothered, because I knew it was well-intentioned. The only thing that was somewhat bothersome was that I had to figure out how to get rid of them without the person noticing.
    That sounds like the beginnings of a sitcom plot.
    Mr Furley working outside on the doorbell

    Jack (muffled) "I just don't know how we're going to get rid of those brownie's down at the resturant!"

    * zoom in on Mr Furley's eyes bugging out*

    ROFL !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    You'd have to have some sexually ambiguous comment too though.
    Crissy "I love brownies Jack! I picked one up at the Regal Beagle last night on my way home from work!"

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    Aggressive seems to always come from ESxj's in my experience. ISxp's seem to relish in their ; they try to promote a comfortable atmosphere rather than like ESxj's, enforce their analysis of a situation down everyone else's throats. ESxj's always seem to have some special input about food, health, stress, cleanliness, clothing, etc, more so ESFj's. It's important to note that ESxj's with as their creative function are consciously proud of their sense of the environment, and being EJ's, will sometimes feel that they have to always take care of related problems themselves because no-one else from their point of view seems to see the obvious problems in a situation. ISxp's, in comparison, seem more concerned about maintenance and have an sense of where things are needed, which oddly limits the situations where is applied.

    This might be a good metaphor:
    An ESxj sees someone talking with other people not really eating food or paying that much attention to the water with a half-full glass of water, and will quickly fill it up right to the top again just make sure the person talking never feels like they are running out of water.
    An ISxp sees a person with a empty glass for someone who hasn't had any water in a while, but is about to finish some food on a serving of food in several seconds, so the ISxp partially fills the glass with at least enough water to make sure the person when finished eating can wash down the food properly.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Quirk Satellite Div.
    ESxj's always seem to have some special input about food, health, stress, cleanliness, clothing, etc, more so ESFj's.
    this has been my experience as well
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    Quote Originally Posted by heath
    I honestly don't think forcing food down people's heads is the entirety of Si types agenda.

    If someone is trying to force Si on you it may sound like this: "Hey you want to go play tennis today? What, why not? You know you have all those sleeping problems and it's because you never get out of the house and burn any energy."
    ...i always do this
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    Quote Originally Posted by FDG
    Quote Originally Posted by heath
    I honestly don't think forcing food down people's heads is the entirety of Si types agenda.

    If someone is trying to force Si on you it may sound like this: "Hey you want to go play tennis today? What, why not? You know you have all those sleeping problems and it's because you never get out of the house and burn any energy."
    ...i always do this
    yeah, me too. I think jonathan may be right though. He said it's Te use more than Si. Not confined to Te types though.
    asd

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    Quote Originally Posted by ScarlettLux
    Aggressive Si to me means people saying: "RELAX"

    No! I don't wanna relax! Okay! I'm always this tense and hyped up, why are you bringing me down? Stop it!
    I think that's very good, that's how Si IPs get to me. I had this ISTp friend. I'd be worried that we'd be late when traveling together, and keep saying, "come on , get a move, we'll be late, there will probably be a traffic jam and I want to avoid it" and he'd just smile indulgently, smoke his cigarette, and say, "relax".
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    LOL, yeah Expat! I can totally see why ISxps are ENxps Duals.. I have had a lot of experience with ENxps and most of the time they are so scattered and all over the place.. the only ones that could put up with that are ISxps cause they are just so relaxed and not worried.. they feel like everything will get done whereareas ENxjs.. they need the stability and assurance of ISxjs.


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    Quote Originally Posted by Expat
    Quote Originally Posted by ScarlettLux
    Aggressive Si to me means people saying: "RELAX"

    No! I don't wanna relax! Okay! I'm always this tense and hyped up, why are you bringing me down? Stop it!
    I think that's very good, that's how Si IPs get to me. I had this ISTp friend. I'd be worried that we'd be late when traveling together, and keep saying, "come on , get a move, we'll be late, there will probably be a traffic jam and I want to avoid it" and he'd just smile indulgently, smoke his cigarette, and say, "relax".
    My ISFp friend has told me to relax on several occasions when I've been worried about something. I can get a little intense at times. I think one of the reasons I like being around him is because he does have a relaxing presence/effect on me.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Expat
    Quote Originally Posted by ScarlettLux
    Aggressive Si to me means people saying: "RELAX"

    No! I don't wanna relax! Okay! I'm always this tense and hyped up, why are you bringing me down? Stop it!
    I think that's very good, that's how Si IPs get to me. I had this ISTp friend. I'd be worried that we'd be late when traveling together, and keep saying, "come on , get a move, we'll be late, there will probably be a traffic jam and I want to avoid it" and he'd just smile indulgently, smoke his cigarette, and say, "relax".
    I actually respond very well to this kind of thing if it's said in the right way (i.e., if the person who says it appears to be relaxed). Sometimes (particularly in crisis situations) I can get overly wound up about things and actually NEED to calm down and realize I need to take things slower.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Elro
    I actually respond very well to this kind of thing if it's said in the right way (i.e., if the person who says it appears to be relaxed). Sometimes (particularly in crisis situations) I can get overly wound up about things and actually NEED to calm down and realize I need to take things slower.
    Exactly.
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    For some reason, when they tell me to relax, it comes off as condescending...


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    Quote Originally Posted by ScarlettLux
    For some reason, when they tell me to relax, it comes off as condescending...
    It definitely can come across as condescending but for me it totally depends on who it is, the context, tone of voice and manner of the person saying it.
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    Quote Originally Posted by heath
    I honestly don't think forcing food down people's heads is the entirety of Si types agenda.

    If someone is trying to force Si on you it may sound like this: "Hey you want to go play tennis today? What, why not? You know you have all those sleeping problems and it's because you never get out of the house and burn any energy."

    But generally, Si types are really cool about things. Si types will suggest things to benefit your healh, but force is absolutely contradictory to the whole Si value.

    It's not, "oh honey bunch you need to eat mo'. Here is a heaping helpful of mama's good food sweetiepie. eat up you gotta be big and strong."

    fuuuck. But whatever.
    Well, yeah, but I'm trying to see it from an Ni type's perspective.

    Quote Originally Posted by Joy
    Quote Originally Posted by thehotelambush
    Quote Originally Posted by Herzy
    I've seen this much more (almost exclusively) in creative Si types, though.
    Yeah, I was mostly thinking of ESFjs and maybe ESTjs.
    Yes, it makes me dread seeing them. They pry into personal things and give unsolicited advice. A lot of it. Very often.
    Really any type (especially rational) giving Ego advice where it's not wanted would seem like that.

    Quote Originally Posted by Expat
    Quote Originally Posted by ScarlettLux
    Aggressive Si to me means people saying: "RELAX"

    No! I don't wanna relax! Okay! I'm always this tense and hyped up, why are you bringing me down? Stop it!
    I think that's very good, that's how Si IPs get to me. I had this ISTp friend. I'd be worried that we'd be late when traveling together, and keep saying, "come on , get a move, we'll be late, there will probably be a traffic jam and I want to avoid it" and he'd just smile indulgently, smoke his cigarette, and say, "relax".
    Do you think that that's more an EJ way of looking at it?

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    if somebody tells me to relax, id just be like, hey i already am.
    Obsequium amicos, veritas odium parit

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    Quote Originally Posted by FDG
    if somebody tells me to relax, id just be like, hey i already am.
    At the risk of sounding PC, I think most people would respond that way, especially if they feel something is really important.

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    Quote Originally Posted by thehotelambush
    Quote Originally Posted by FDG
    if somebody tells me to relax, id just be like, hey i already am.
    At the risk of sounding PC, I think most people would respond that way, especially if they feel something is really important.
    yeah im sure it's the same way for most people
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    Quote Originally Posted by ScarlettLux
    For some reason, when they tell me to relax, it comes off as condescending...
    Yes, I often see it that way. It's as if they were saying, "what you are saying is not serious, you are just needlessly agitated".


    Quote Originally Posted by thehotelambush
    Do you think that that's more an EJ way of looking at it?
    Perhaps even Ni EJ specifically.
    , LIE, ENTj logical subtype, 8w9 sx/sp
    Quote Originally Posted by implied
    gah you're like the shittiest ENTj ever!

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