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Thread: INTjs have poor communication skills?

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    Fry's Avatar
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    Default INTjs have poor communication skills?

    why is INTJ's communication skills so bad?

    I am just curious. is it because we are introvert? but other introverts have good communication skills and they were able to write good books.

    i wonder why INTJs are the only one with bad communication skills, and how can we improve it?

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    Sentineneve, thank you for taking time to explain this to me. I really apprciate it.

    Let me try to communicate what's on my mind effectively.

    I agree when you said, "people will understand with their feeling", it is so true. People interpret words differently, so how you make them feel is very important..

    You seen so nice and politically correct. I felt the genuine warmth from your post, you truely wanted to help me improve my skill.

    last question, what is your type?

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    Éminence grise mikemex's Avatar
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    Accurate but slow minds.
    [] | NP | 3[6w5]8 so/sp | Type thread | My typing of forum members | Johari (Strengths) | Nohari (Weaknesses)

    You know what? You're an individual, and that makes people nervous. And it's gonna keep making people nervous for the rest of your life.
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    *Punches mikemex's avatar in the face.*

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    Sentineneve, your post was so incredibly thoughtful, refreshing, and reassuring. So much so that I posted it in my webjournal (with a reference to you and this forum, of course) so that I can look to it for guidance when I need it. Needless to say I agree with you completely. Please share your thoughts more often!
    INFp, Intuitive subtype, Enneagram 6w5
    Back in school and on semi-permanent hiatus from the forum

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    Ti centric krieger's Avatar
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    We don't. We get our point across faster and more accurately than just about every other type.

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    x
    Last edited by HitmanISTP; 07-25-2008 at 12:15 AM.
    ISTP-Te, Logical Subtype (the jokey one)

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    In addition to what Labcoat said, the perception of the INTj having poor communication skills is in part because of us consciously having to deal with the role-playing game, plus weak , and a conscientious aversion to being bold in our behavior and using too much . It is our directness in getting the point across that greatly contributes to the characteristic of INTjs being notably terse (for good or for ill) in speech and writing.
    "Alpha Quadra subforum. You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy. We must be cautious." ~Obi-Wan Kenobi
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    Let's fly now Gilly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by tcaudilllg
    *Punches mikemex's avatar in the face.*
    This is definitely the first sign of something fueled by emotion that I have ever seen from you. Congratulations.
    But, for a certainty, back then,
    We loved so many, yet hated so much,
    We hurt others and were hurt ourselves...

    Yet even then, we ran like the wind,
    Whilst our laughter echoed,
    Under cerulean skies...

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    Quote Originally Posted by Gilly
    Quote Originally Posted by tcaudilllg
    *Punches mikemex's avatar in the face.*
    This is definitely the first sign of something fueled by emotion that I have ever seen from you. Congratulations.
    Mikemex just has the effect on INTjs: "Hey, using your PoLR will be worth it this time."
    "Alpha Quadra subforum. You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy. We must be cautious." ~Obi-Wan Kenobi
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    You're welcome . And though your words may not have been "divinely inspired," your sobering realism was a breath of fresh air. People always need advice on how to connect with (or at least peacefully coexist with) others, because it's critical to stable world relations on both a macro and a micro level (hence our appreciation of Socionics). And I doubt you're the insipid stick in the mud you claim to be, because for you to value and reaffirm your teacher's advice speaks to your internalization of it. Kudos!
    *douses her with water and walks away*
    INFp, Intuitive subtype, Enneagram 6w5
    Back in school and on semi-permanent hiatus from the forum

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    Default Re: why do INTJ's have bad communication skills?

    Quote Originally Posted by Fry
    why is INTJ's communication skills so bad?

    I am just curious. is it because we are introvert? but other introverts have good communication skills and they were able to write good books.

    i wonder why INTJs are the only one with bad communication skills, and how can we improve it?
    Not all LII have bad communication skills, and not all ILI do either. It's a matter of knowing what you want to communicate and picking the right strategy to communicate it. Using Fe by itself to communicate a very logical concept would be extremely difficult, perhaps impossible. But using it to accentuate certain points, keep the audiance awake, tune in to how they will be hearing you, etc. is a good idea.

    The core of being able to communicate well is not being afraid to say what you really mean. Not doing so is by definition a failure to communicate. A good listener (especially in your own quadra :wink: ) can pick up on even a poorly phrased statement if it touches on what the speaker really wanted to say. Whereas a poor listener is going to be hard to talk to anyway.

    Don't listen when poor listeners give you a hard time. They have no room to talk, and probably aren't that great of communicators either. There's a middle ground between speaker and listener, and being good means being willing to go more than just your own half of the way.

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    Quote Originally Posted by labcoat
    We don't. We get our point across faster and more accurately than just about every other type.
    Agreed. (I love that about INTjs.)

    Just because INTjs think differently than most doesn't mean their communication skills are inherently "bad." They're just not normative, therefore not so easily understood and vice versa.

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    Quote Originally Posted by labcoat
    We don't. We get our point across faster and more accurately than just about every other type.
    haha, i must agree with you on this point. it's actually one of the most endearing aspects of any INTj, except oftentimes the point is so quick and exact that it doesn't allow anybody else sufficient time to digest or understand the information. i actually think it's really funny when people get so mad at them when all they're doing is expressing their mind

    it's one of the strongest marks of an intelligent INTj, and few things get me more excited than the opportunity to Ne them to death until i understand all the levels of thought behind that single statement
    entp-ti 6w7

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    Quote Originally Posted by mooveefone

    it's one of the strongest marks of an intelligent INTj, and few things get me more excited than the opportunity to Ne them to death until i understand all the levels of thought behind that single statement
    hm, that's really nice. I feel that way about ENTps.

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    Quote Originally Posted by HitmanISTP
    INTJ's are leave-me-alone intellectual research type of people. Most IxTx types have similar communication style...very straightforward.
    Agreed. Although I'm (ISTJ) at a stalemate with an INTJ at the moment. I think it may have something to do with.... what's that word again....feelings. I've gone out of my way to discuss the situtation despite various attempts of his to shut me off(which is really a huge thing coming from me and I thought he would be aware of that) but he's totally not budging. He isn't even prepared to be civil about it. It's just total shut down. Sometimes I wonder if he's even aware of the social norms. Sorry if that sounds harsh but I'm having a hard time understanding how INTJs work under this particular scenario since I can imagine any other type acknowledging an apology (which wasn't even really needed)... but I'm desperately trying =(

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    The Troll Slayer Hitta's Avatar
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    INTjs have bad communication skills due to them having + /- in their place of least resistance. + is the sensing of willpower which is basically why INTjs have horrible communication skills. Its the reason why ESFps are such good communicators.

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    Quote Originally Posted by shakealittle
    Quote Originally Posted by HitmanISTP
    INTJ's are leave-me-alone intellectual research type of people. Most IxTx types have similar communication style...very straightforward.
    Agreed. Although I'm (ISTJ) at a stalemate with an INTJ at the moment. I think it may have something to do with.... what's that word again....feelings. I've gone out of my way to discuss the situtation despite various attempts of his to shut me off(which is really a huge thing coming from me and I thought he would be aware of that) but he's totally not budging. He isn't even prepared to be civil about it. It's just total shut down. Sometimes I wonder if he's even aware of the social norms. Sorry if that sounds harsh but I'm having a hard time understanding how INTJs work under this particular scenario since I can imagine any other type acknowledging an apology (which wasn't even really needed)... but I'm desperately trying =(
    LII likes: honesty, transparency, emotional second chances
    LII dislikes: growing distrust, unclear intent, increasing pressure

    You may want to ask yourself why the acknowledgment of an apology is necessary to get over the event. An apology is for the benefit of the person doing the apologizing more than for ther reciever. The person recieving the apology isn't the one who needs to avoid the mistake in the future, after all.

    *Just some of the sorts of random thoughts that bounce through my mind at times.*

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    Quote Originally Posted by Luke

    LII likes: honesty, transparency, emotional second chances
    LII dislikes: growing distrust, unclear intent, increasing pressure

    You may want to ask yourself why the acknowledgment of an apology is necessary to get over the event. An apology is for the benefit of the person doing the apologizing more than for ther reciever. The person recieving the apology isn't the one who needs to avoid the mistake in the future, after all.

    *Just some of the sorts of random thoughts that bounce through my mind at times.*
    Thanks Luke, that was really helpful.

    I think the issue lies in his inability to read me. Also, I read that INTJs are very selective of their friends so maybe that's him making his choice.

    It's funny you mention INTJs liking emotional second chances. I tend to perceive the type as uncompromising when it comes to loyalty, trust....second chances in general. Or am I just thinking of two different things here?

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    Quote Originally Posted by shakealittle
    Quote Originally Posted by Luke

    LII likes: honesty, transparency, emotional second chances
    LII dislikes: growing distrust, unclear intent, increasing pressure

    You may want to ask yourself why the acknowledgment of an apology is necessary to get over the event. An apology is for the benefit of the person doing the apologizing more than for ther reciever. The person recieving the apology isn't the one who needs to avoid the mistake in the future, after all.

    *Just some of the sorts of random thoughts that bounce through my mind at times.*
    Thanks Luke, that was really helpful.

    I think the issue lies in his inability to read me. Also, I read that INTJs are very selective of their friends so maybe that's him making his choice.

    It's funny you mention INTJs liking emotional second chances. I tend to perceive the type as uncompromising when it comes to loyalty, trust....second chances in general. Or am I just thinking of two different things here?
    Aren't ISTjs also?

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    Quote Originally Posted by tcaudilllg

    Aren't ISTjs also?
    I do hold loyalty and honesty in high regard, yes.

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    Quote Originally Posted by shakealittle
    Quote Originally Posted by tcaudilllg

    Aren't ISTjs also?
    I do hold loyalty and honesty in high regard, yes.
    Question: do you *know* who is loyal to you -to a fault- and who isn't?

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    Quote Originally Posted by tcaudilllg

    Question: do you *know* who is loyal to you -to a fault- and who isn't?
    It's probably something I expect more from myself more than anyone else.

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    Quote Originally Posted by shakealittle
    Quote Originally Posted by tcaudilllg

    Question: do you *know* who is loyal to you -to a fault- and who isn't?
    It's probably something I expect more from myself more than anyone else.
    So you expect yourself to be loyal to others? How do you determine who you should be loyal to?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Loki
    Quote Originally Posted by hkkmr
    You sure you don't have this guy mistyped?
    He thinks he's an INTJ... I agree he's an NJ... I don't know about the rest of it. This conversation isn't very representative... I think of it as the "anal streak." It may not pertain to INTJs at all.
    No, it seems possible. Not for all INTjs, but, for some? Yes. They can get that way.

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