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Thread: Type my relative - ENFj or ESFj?

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    Default Type my relative - ENFj or ESFj?

    This is an older relative of mind, and I am certain of two things: rational, and dominant. This is related to my type as well somewhat, in that I get along with this person well and understand its psychological field fairly well.

    • At present: ENFj > ESFj, because she seems to prefer a beta sort of atmosphere.
      [list:3014b08891]She is elder now. She enjoys playing card games and board games with family members, and proclaims herself to be a "sore loser", and very competitive - which belies her otherwise kind nature. She says she would much rather play against someone who is trying to win - and lose - than just play someone who is not playing for the win, or who will let her win just to let her be happy about it. Also, in support of Beta, she is not at all hesitant to bring up problems concerning the family or discuss things openly. (I enjoy this a great deal). This differs from a few ESFjs I know, who seem to avoid all troublesome talk if possible.

    [*]General information (order irrelevant)
    • Very emotional. is quite apparent. Avid reader, intellectually curious. Often talks about people or events, precluding the information with "I hate to say this" or "I probably shouldn't say this", or similar. Enjoys giving me warnings (which I assume to be Ni), about everything. Has respect for the future - considers the long term ramification of things.

      Ethically judgmental, but at the same time makes reasonable conclusions. Believes in treating all people with respect. She has commented on and appreciated good character in other people. Is not afraid to get angry (though not too often this occurs), and believes it is much better to air out your feelings now and get them out in the open. Has explained that sometimes she would get upset about something, or even someone in the family, and be mad at them, but ultimately she cares about the person despite such an outburst.

      Believes greatly in marriage vows.

      At one point opened and ran her own antique shop. Enjoys odd curiosities as such, and mixing and mingling with the people, and trying to find good buys and making good deals. A reader of many books and biographies. Listens to a program called "Coast to Coast" with Art Bell...
      Coast to Coast AM is the #1 late-night syndicated radio talk show in the United States which deals with a variety of topics, but most frequently ones that relate either to the paranormal, or to alleged conspiracies. It was created by Art Bell, airs seven nights a week 10:00 p.m. to 2:00 a.m. Pacific Time, and is distributed by Premiere Radio Networks. It is currently hosted by George Noory weekdays and Art Bell on the weekends.
      http://www.answers.com/main/ntquery?...oast%22&gwp=16
      ...yet openly admits that some of the talk is purely foolish. Believes that some true things are interwoven in the program despite some questionable things. Despite the disapproval of some other people in family, she continues to follow her interest and pursue her curiosities.

      Believes in reincarnation, and somewhat struggled for a time with conventional religion (in her case, orthodox Christianity), because one of her sons was born disabled with a very rare disease. She still tends to this son and tries her best to treat all her children equally, believes each one brings something special to life. She has been married to the same man for over 50 years - he is likely an IJ, and shows great . She recently noted the consistency in something like her husband's handwriting - she says it was the same way since forever.

      She sometimes gets bogged down in depressing thoughts, depending on how her family is doing. For example, she has expressed to me that she used to think she would be able to die happy, but last year, her one of her daughters got divorced, and one of her sons entered into a troublesome marriage, so the ensuing drama was difficult for her nerves. She is a worrier. Consequently, she always appreciates good news from people. Only recently have I become aware of this, but I have found that leaving our visits with some positive news seems to have good affects on her. Especially if she has been talking about things that worry her for some time, if I bring up something positive, she will say "Oh, thank you UDP, hearing that good news really made my day!".

      She does have a good sense of decoration in her home, and that is one thing that made me question ESFj / ENFj... but come to think of it, it is not in a bright and cheery Si sort of way. It is just fairly well coordinated. Has many trees and plants, flowers in her backyard.

      In family gatherings, she is usually one of the most social people, the most talkative. ! Ah yes, this may be another victim indication: she was another person in my family who thought I did not like her or her kin because I was so shy and reclusive in my early years. She is social, but she waits for the initiative of other people it seems, which makes me think ENFj > ESFj. At her older age, she does not enjoy leaving her house much, and prefers people to come and visit her. She is very wary about where she feels welcomed, and as above, seems to prefer people initiating such. Will make suggestions and imply things, but waits for other people to make the action, which I believe is victim behavior(?).
    [/list:u:3014b08891]


    If I can think of more things that would be useful, they will be added. Ask questions and they may be answered.
    Pre-2013 post are written with incomplete understanding.

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    She only held an occupation (other than the antique shop) at one time in her life, during a time when her husband was on strike. Other than that, she decided to focus on her family, as her husband made the offer of "If you are comfortable living with the amount of income I am making at my job, then I will not force you to work", so she staid home and focused on her family.

    Quote Originally Posted by Filatova: EIE - work and home
    All the characteristics of the EIE’s psyche are also visible in his familial life. When he shares warm relations with others in the household he frequently demonstrates cordiality and sensitivity. When positive relations are absent, on the other hand, the negative properties of his nature manifest themselves: capriciousness, foolishness, and intolerance.

    EIE worries, and exerts much effort, in insuring the material needs of family. In household interaction he places little value on the observance of formalities and/or traditions; these to him are unimportant. He takes close to heart any risk of his significant other abandoning him and if faced with such a situation he’ll not hesitate to cause a commotion, expressing the moral terror of his predicament.

    In other situations EIE requires the attention and concern of the family in which he belongs. If ignored he’ll begin to harbour jealousy in regards to the relations shared by other members of the family.

    When true love presents itself in his relations everything is for the better. His rich fantasies and emotionalism are directed towards the creation and maintenance of a loving familial atmosphere. In this case the EIE presents himself as the excellent family man; the sensitive, understanding, and thoughtful husband and parent.
    The above fits her quite well, although she is a fan of holidays, and is disappointed if someone forgets her birthday.
    Pre-2013 post are written with incomplete understanding.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Filiatova: ESE - ESE at Work and in the House

    ESE deals with everything recklessly. She know how to be inspired by an idea and follow that inspiration to its end. In order to feel herself productive she desires a constant workload and to demonstrate only positive results in her work. In this manner the constant influx of energy allows her to evade fatigue. Generally prefers to work in the emotional sphere. If surrounded by people that take an interest in her work, and display sympathy towards her, she’ll work solely for their thanks.

    Boss-ESE first attempts to join the group and create a friendly atmosphere of cooperation and mutual assistance. She zealously undertakes her work, without delay, and impels other to do the same. Her poor intuition does not permit her to see the precise prospects for novelties for she is too occupied with details.

    When subordinates under perform ESE reports them, or even opens conflict with them for she identifies herself with the prestige of her collective and wishes that work be carried out qualitatively. She’ll obtain better leadership results, in any enterprise, when in charge of a small group of coworkers.

    She’s very much tied to her family. For many – especially women of this type – family is the most important thing in life. The ability to create not only physical but also psychological comfort and optimism, and the desire to bring happiness to close ones are the strongest sides of an ESE’s nature; and are vividly developed.

    Her weakness, in regards to intuition, means that domestic troubles are experienced in an extremely painful manner.
    She does not at all seem reckless about things, so this comparison seems to further ENFj>ESFj
    Pre-2013 post are written with incomplete understanding.

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    from toronto with love ScarlettLux's Avatar
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    Sounds like an amazing woman.. really. I would definitely get along with her, you are lucky to have her as part of your family!

    Definitely ENFj.. everything is there.


    Dress pretty, play dirty ღ
    Johari
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    Sounds like an amazing woman.. really. I would definitely get along with her, you are lucky to have her as part of your family!
    I agree
    Pre-2013 post are written with incomplete understanding.

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    Quote Originally Posted by ScarlettLux
    Sounds like an amazing woman.. really. I would definitely get along with her, you are lucky to have her as part of your family!

    Definitely ENFj.. everything is there.
    Sounds like someone I would like too, I am going with ENFj for her as well.
    Socionics: XNFx
    MBTI: INFJ

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    Even though she is my Contrary, I think I will get along with her. :wink:

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