I've been with one and let's just say I'm surprised I walked away from that in one piece. Slightly too aggressive for my tastes...strangling isn't a fetish of mine
I've been with one and let's just say I'm surprised I walked away from that in one piece. Slightly too aggressive for my tastes...strangling isn't a fetish of mine
Originally Posted by jessica129
I've been with one and let's just say I'm surprised I walked away from that in one piece. Slightly too aggressive for my tastes...strangling isn't a fetish of mine
But, for a certainty, back then,
We loved so many, yet hated so much,
We hurt others and were hurt ourselves...
Yet even then, we ran like the wind,
Whilst our laughter echoed,
Under cerulean skies...
lol, i don't think he meant it. Just you know when you get really umm...into it. Yeah, it scared me.
ESTps seem to be the overall best attuned to my rhythms. They seem to share my desire to want to feel every part of their body all at the same time, so there's a lot of groping and carressing and kissing and whatnot. We end up as the most poetic tangled messes sometimes.
From the Kama Sutra:
"When a man and a woman are very much in love with each other, and, not thinking of any pain or hurt, embrace each other as if they were entering into each other's bodies either while the woman is sitting on the lap of the man, or in front of him, or on a bed, then it is called an embrace like a 'mixture of milk and water.'"
Then we go at it. Much as I imagine everyone else does. Lots of sinister laughing. Lots of trying to consume each other (that's the best way to describe it).
"How could we forget those ancient myths that stand at the beginning of all races, the myths about dragons that at the last moment are transformed into princesses? Perhaps all the dragons in our lives are princesses who are only waiting to see us act, just once, with beauty and courage. Perhaps everything that frightens us is, in its deepest essence, something helpless that wants our love."
-- Rainer Maria Rilke, Letters to a Young Poet
Yeah. SLE's tend to grope a lot. They quite enjoy the touch of another's flesh, don't they? It's like this slow, intense grope. Lmao, can't believe I'm talking about this. But yeah. Taking the other's skin and just feeling it a lot.. very, very close to the other person.. squeezed to death is good. Physical contact is just.. a must.
I don't see how it could be different?
Obsequium amicos, veritas odium parit
what no pictures? I feel cheated
LOL!!what no pictures? I feel cheated
yeah. estp's they kinda like to nail ya. hard.
ILE
those who are easily shocked.....should be shocked more often
The Bad (Fi PoLR):
Years of friendship, and I wonder: "Does he have a heart?"
I can't sense any emotional depth or vulnerability; it's like there's no inner world to be unveiled. When asked "how are you?", problems are either laughed off or recounted like a computer's log of the day's events. I don't think there would be much point to asking "how do you feel about what's happening to you?" since it's like he doesn't emotionally react to events... As if it's not really happening to him. Or even if he did, I got the impression that he was trying to keep his emotions shielded from me (message: I can handle them all on my own, don't worry!)
Not that I mind it too much, but it's something that detracts from their humaneness and makes our interactions somewhat superficial... The result is that I am attracted to ENTjs and their sensitive souls more easily
The Good:
- One of the many who was of the opinion that I overthink things, but unlike others, analyzed my problems eagerly and exhaustively with the same objectivity.
- Encouraged me with inspiring speeches related to perseverance.
- Stopped me from leaping off to do silly things (ie. getting into a cyber relationship with ENFj friend) that I thought "might work out..." but "wouldn't work out" based on what he'd gathered of others' experiences.
- Verbal sparring involving lots of insults thrown in good fun.
The End:
Te PoLR forced me to hide from the world.
“I think, therefore I'll think" - Ayn Rand (ESTp, UR GUARDIAN ANGEL)
I wonder if it's the same for the female model... gunna have to testdrive one of those sometime :wink:
yes.I wonder if it's the same for the female model. :wink:
i love how we gravitate to the same kind of posts and topics, lol.yes.I wonder if it's the same for the female model. :wink:
@raison: that's estp's style definitely. it would be cool if they ever would show some vulnerability with people they trust. but it seems they trust no one. i was going to say that's gotta be hard, but i don't think it is for them - they just operate on a level of logic.
ILE
those who are easily shocked.....should be shocked more often
Yeah, that's one thing I really, *really* do not like about ESTps - the fact that they are never open with their emotions to the point where I do have to question - do they even have any? I mean, really. It seems as if they are so logical and Fi PoLR'd that deep emotion to them is almost impossible.. someone prove me wrong? Well, let's just say I can't handle that. I can't handle someone without emotional expression.. a softness of some kind at least.
Re: ESTps and sex
One of them bit me once, reallyCome on, spill the beans.There's all this lofty talk going around about what ESTps are like in bed, and I want to see if you guys have anything to say about us as a whole that hasn't been said before. I'm genuinely curious as for how we're perceived by other types when it comes to sex, relationships, and the such.
I'll add my $.02 once we've got some conversation flowing.
Well I am back. How's everyone? Don't have as much time now, but glad to see some of the old gang are still here.
Uhm. Meged Se-ESTp description:
ESTP:
COORDINATOR(Se subtype)
Sensory subtype seems by person ingenious, impulsive, who conceals the concealed threat and by no means reasonable. In actuality it is sharp, sufficiently aggressive and persistent. It can be rancorous and it is sufficient to resourceful in order to make life of the svikh ill-wishers of that of simply not tolerated. Has a nature contrasting and unpredictable. With those, whom it loves, it is periodically is very affectionate and even it is sentimental. It possesses such feeling of humor, which easily passes into the sarcasm or the caustic irony. Is talkative, obayatelen, it is ingenious, critical and cuttings, it loves epithets and slang expressions. Its motions are elastic and rapid, gait only waddle, elbows are slightly bent with walking, which gives cat ingratiating tones to it. Is characteristic the evaluating view with light prishchurom. Usually it follows its health, it is periodically occupied by sport or gymnastics. It dresses dearly and with the taste. The bright impr ession of confident in itself, flourishing person usually is produced.
Obsequium amicos, veritas odium parit
Hmmm... this doesn't seem to be in concert with my experiences with ESTps. In my experience, they do open up to you and quite naturally once you've established some level of comfort with each other. Granted, you don't get the same sort of emotional transparency as you get with other types, but quite frankly I wouldn't want that. Often they'll play "cute" and throw tantrums or pout or other such caricatures/exagerations of their actual feelings. Or they mask their feelings behind a guise of cuss words (my favorite). I can't really deal very well with emotional transparency. I much prefer understanding what they're feeling without having to explicitly be told.
I think Fi-PoLR is often misinterpreted as "ESTps have no feelings." lol. ESTps do have feelings. They just lack confidence in their ability to interpret (and thus, verbalize) their own feelings and those of people around them. With ESTps, just like INFps, you have to go by what they do and why they do it, as opposed to what they say.
ETA: The part FDG highlighted above in Meged's description hold up, IME.
"How could we forget those ancient myths that stand at the beginning of all races, the myths about dragons that at the last moment are transformed into princesses? Perhaps all the dragons in our lives are princesses who are only waiting to see us act, just once, with beauty and courage. Perhaps everything that frightens us is, in its deepest essence, something helpless that wants our love."
-- Rainer Maria Rilke, Letters to a Young Poet
@baby: i'll bow to your opinion as well as mine. after 15 years with a classic estp i think i can comment credibly about this. i don't think it's about estp's not having feelings it's about them not showing them to most people and not very often even to people they care about.
ILE
those who are easily shocked.....should be shocked more often
I think ESTps express their feelings in a way that lends itself to being served by Fe.
We all of us are wired to behave in a way that complements, and is complemented by, our dual's functions. When an ESTp is sad, they will express it in a way that is most likely to recieve Ni/Fe, just as when an ENTp is sad, they will express it in a way that is most likely to recieve Si/Fe. I actually don't think it's in the ESTp's best interest to express their feelings in any other way - either more straightforward, more often, or more in the line of Fi-transparency. They won't recieve what they need in order to feel better, and to come to terms with/understand those emotions in such a way that they can move on with their lives.
And I thought this thread was supposed to be about sex.
"How could we forget those ancient myths that stand at the beginning of all races, the myths about dragons that at the last moment are transformed into princesses? Perhaps all the dragons in our lives are princesses who are only waiting to see us act, just once, with beauty and courage. Perhaps everything that frightens us is, in its deepest essence, something helpless that wants our love."
-- Rainer Maria Rilke, Letters to a Young Poet
Hm, maybe I don't have enough understanding of this.. Could you give an example of a way they would show sadness to receive Ni/Fe? Also -- the Fi-transparency thing. I love this straightforwardness of emotion.. is that what you mean by transparency? Easy to be seen, correct? Ah, sometimes I believe I value Fi more than Fe because I have a bad stereotypical vision in my mind of Fi valueing types as being cold and distant. ESFp & ENFp prove this very wrong though .. which further leads to my confusion.. what exactly is Fi vs Fe.. ahh, back to the drawing board.I think ESTps express their feelings in a way that lends itself to being served by Fe.
We all of us are wired to behave in a way that complements, and is complemented by, our dual's functions. When an ESTp is sad, they will express it in a way that is most likely to recieve Ni/Fe, just as when an ENTp is sad, they will express it in a way that is most likely to recieve Si/Fe. I actually don't think it's in the ESTp's best interest to express their feelings in any other way - either more straightforward, more often, or more in the line of Fi-transparency. They won't recieve what they need in order to feel better, and to come to terms with/understand those emotions in such a way that they can move on with their lives.
And I thought this thread was supposed to be about sex.
Well, Fi is more concerned with one's inner feelings. Fi-dominants tend to focus more on what a person is actually feeling within and what they themselves are feeling. They think in terms of the underlying, overall emotional picture. Conversation tends to be focused on exploring the nature of this overall picture. Fe is more concerned with the dynamic interplay between people. Fe-dominants tend to focus more on what people say and enjoy the anticipation of what a person is about to say, and what they themselves need to say in order to get the sort of response they want. They tend to think of conversation as more of an ongoing cat and mouse sort of game, as opposed to an expression of a static, underlying feeling.
btw, I don't think you suck, ScarlettLux <- this stuff is convoluted and crazy as it is. Every time I think I make a breakthrough in my understanding of it, I hit a wall and realise I knew nothing at all, lol.
"How could we forget those ancient myths that stand at the beginning of all races, the myths about dragons that at the last moment are transformed into princesses? Perhaps all the dragons in our lives are princesses who are only waiting to see us act, just once, with beauty and courage. Perhaps everything that frightens us is, in its deepest essence, something helpless that wants our love."
-- Rainer Maria Rilke, Letters to a Young Poet
Like what Herzy did in "Fuck Semi-duality"? It's cute, but it masks their emotions so much more that I wouldn't be able to feel them. If I can't feel them, I'd be oblivious to their existence. Also, pouting and throwing tantrums only make me respond insensitively ("Don't pull that face on me, it's gross"). Is that what they want? Do they need comfort and sympathy at all? Or do they just need solutions to help them out of their emotional state? How exactly do ESTps expect others to deal with their emotions?
To me, it's not so much an ongoing cat and mouse game as a dating sim.Fe-dominants tend to focus more on what people say and enjoy the anticipation of what a person is about to say, and what they themselves need to say in order to get the sort of response they want. They tend to think of conversation as more of an ongoing cat and mouse sort of game, as opposed to an expression of a static, underlying feeling.
“I think, therefore I'll think" - Ayn Rand (ESTp, UR GUARDIAN ANGEL)
Yeah, I wanna know how ESTp's expect people to act with their emotions, because I've been told I'm pretty bad at that, even insensitive like raisonpure. What about the other way around... what do INFp's expect? Very few people can make me feel better, I'm not sure why.
And to talk about sex, how do ESTp's deal when an INFp is feeling mopey, or not in the mood and very pushy. This happened a few times with my ENTp ex, and well he was just whiny, and tried this fake Se, which was pretty much a turnoff. I guess what I'm asking is how exactly does an ESTp initiate it?
INFp
I don't think you can force sex. If my partner's not in the mood, I'll act like I don't care, and try to do something else to lighten up the atmosphere, to activate the circulation, and get the endorphines going, and then attack when I see that they've become happyOf course I initiate sex with pre-sex, kissing on the neck, the mouth, nipples uh, ehm, do I have to go on, lol?+
In regard to emotions. I'm sure this will make many people question my estp-ness, but when I have gotten to the right level of intimacy, meaning that I'm pretty sure that the other at least likes me physically, I have no problems revealing how I feeeeeel.
I won't tell anybody else, though. I can't see why for example I should talk with my mother about it, or with my friends. It's none of their business.
Obsequium amicos, veritas odium parit
sorry you're so sad, do you need some Se? i can only give you some Ti, baby, lol. sex is passion and inherently emotional, not just a sensory thing.I think ESTps express their feelings in a way that lends itself to being served by Fe.
We all of us are wired to behave in a way that complements, and is complemented by, our dual's functions. When an ESTp is sad, they will express it in a way that is most likely to recieve Ni/Fe, just as when an ENTp is sad, they will express it in a way that is most likely to recieve Si/Fe. I actually don't think it's in the ESTp's best interest to express their feelings in any other way - either more straightforward, more often, or more in the line of Fi-transparency. They won't recieve what they need in order to feel better, and to come to terms with/understand those emotions in such a way that they can move on with their lives.
And I thought this thread was supposed to be about sex.
but i actually agree that it is not in the best interest of the estp to express feelings directly or whatever....it makes them too vulnerable.
what i was describing also is a personal struggle i had with my ex....it's a great example of why certain kinds of relations can't work under certain circumstances. bottom line: he and i could not help each other beyond external, material kinds of goals and objectives.
ILE
those who are easily shocked.....should be shocked more often
i don't think i'm always very clear on the distinctions between Fi and Fe either. my current understanding is something like this:Hm, maybe I don't have enough understanding of this.. Could you give an example of a way they would show sadness to receive Ni/Fe? Also -- the Fi-transparency thing. I love this straightforwardness of emotion.. is that what you mean by transparency? Easy to be seen, correct? Ah, sometimes I believe I value Fi more than Fe because I have a bad stereotypical vision in my mind of Fi valueing types as being cold and distant. ESFp & ENFp prove this very wrong though .. which further leads to my confusion.. what exactly is Fi vs Fe.. ahh, back to the drawing board.I think ESTps express their feelings in a way that lends itself to being served by Fe.
We all of us are wired to behave in a way that complements, and is complemented by, our dual's functions. When an ESTp is sad, they will express it in a way that is most likely to recieve Ni/Fe, just as when an ENTp is sad, they will express it in a way that is most likely to recieve Si/Fe. I actually don't think it's in the ESTp's best interest to express their feelings in any other way - either more straightforward, more often, or more in the line of Fi-transparency. They won't recieve what they need in order to feel better, and to come to terms with/understand those emotions in such a way that they can move on with their lives.
And I thought this thread was supposed to be about sex.
Fi is the ethics of relationships....when i think about this i think about not only emotions expressed, but also thoughts and actions that either enhance detract or in some other way define relationships between people. estp's and entp's don't do this very well and lack insight into the subtle nuances of this. with entp's it's everyone is a buddy and with estp's they are always runnin the show. so they are sort of rigid about their relationships. whereas isfj's and infj's would have a greater degree of flexibility about their relationships and would have many different kinds of relationships defined in many different ways. and they have many different ways of letting you know what category your relationship with them is in.
when i think of Fe i think more about the ethics of emotions, which would be inherently what is directly expressed by people to other people, which in turn affects social moods. just because someone says, "i feel angry, lonely, sad , happy tired" doesn't automatically mean Fi. there's an Fi link...because something is going on inside the person's body, but they are choosing to express this directly, which seems Fe to me. it's kind of like i know it when i see it...it activates entp's and estp's somehow. you feel lighter inside with an esfj, enfj, infp, or isfp around. the Fe seeker's emotions are more out of their body or quelled or something, which makes it easier to function.
ILE
those who are easily shocked.....should be shocked more often
I think in that post, Herzy's putting her emotions out there in a pretty aboveboard way. Granted, it comes across as mostly anger, but there's other things mixed in there.
In my experience, they don't deal very well with outright comforting. Possibly they see it as a sort of Caretaker tendency and it comes across as cloying/condescending. I know an INFp-ESTp couple that seems to be pretty close. The ESTp will usually do some over-the-top pouty/profane thing, and the INFp will just be laughing, and maybe offering advice or insight. There's not really any dwelling on the issue - more of an effort to understand it, and get past it, to move onto more fun things.
Could be. Also, I thought a tennis match might be another way of thinking about it; the anticipation of where the ball is going, whacking it into the other person's court to reciprocate.
"How could we forget those ancient myths that stand at the beginning of all races, the myths about dragons that at the last moment are transformed into princesses? Perhaps all the dragons in our lives are princesses who are only waiting to see us act, just once, with beauty and courage. Perhaps everything that frightens us is, in its deepest essence, something helpless that wants our love."
-- Rainer Maria Rilke, Letters to a Young Poet
yeah they're funny they'll just like, you know, take it out and say c'mon. hahaha gotta love itMy ESTp male friend is like that too-- straightforward and direct. He is very respectful and shy towards women though. In an opposite-sex romantic scene, he doesn't make the first move. He's too shy and gentle towards them to do that. That's when he's probably most vulnerable and submissive.
ILE
those who are easily shocked.....should be shocked more often
One thing that I am finding out with ESTPs is that they are quite promiscuous.
Well I am back. How's everyone? Don't have as much time now, but glad to see some of the old gang are still here.
I've noticed that tonnes of people here seem to imply that ESTps are generally "slutty" (promiscuous whatever). While with some this is true I think I should point out that many ESTps that I know are not. It may be a subtype thing, but while a few ESTps that I know do fit the bill, others would take great offense at it. Especially certain female ESTps (the lily allen type i suppose?) seem averse to promiscuous activity, perhaps because it degrades their social image and gives a male direct power over them. Anyways it could be the promiscuity of a few ESTps is enough to create a general impression of sluttiness that is misguided, as many other types are just as, indeed more, slutty, however, they are less vocal about it and so escape your attention, flirtatiousness leads to other people making implications where none actually exist. Also I think ESTp and ESFp Se subtypes are often confused by people.
In my experience, having overheard A LOT of gossip in my life, the most slutty types in my suburb have been
ISFps
ESFps
ISTps
ENFps (they seem best at hiding this through "serial monogamy")
ENTps
INFp-Ni
My ESTp boss is going to get fired for sexual harassment.
All of that!
Haha yeah, I'd say that roughness in bed is pretty universal for ESTps, both male and female. We also tend to get really, really into the experience while it's happening, so we grope, push, grab, bite, etc. without even really thinking about it. I can see how this could be really problematic for some people who aren't into that type of thing, but trying to change an ESTp in the sexual sphere would probably end up being futile.
Oh and also, as a general observation, ESTps are total horndogs too, especially in the summer months.
I'm totally, completely guilty of this, by the way. It doesn't help that I have a sex drive the size of the Taj Mahal, due to hormones and whatnot.
Okay, so with thething, the only time I would actually say what I am feeling is with someone I could really, really trust. If I think that the person might do something bad with what I say, keep prying for more, or make me feel like shit for telling them, I keep my mouth shut. Auvi is right in that ESTps certainly have ways of showing this through our actions, but this might be a bit hard to see for some people who don't understand us as a whole.
<random>While we're on the subject of this, my ISFj mom got me a shrink (long story). So my shrink thinks that I'm not attuned to my feeeeeeeeelings, and that I should make a log of how I am feeling, and figure out why I am feeling this way. I haven't started yet, because it feels really forced, and certainly not something that I would naturally do. I think that it would probably include a grand total of three emotions: happy, angry, and horny.
We may be personality twins *smirks*
I don't know about always rough in bed. I had sex a bunch of times with a definite ESTp, like textbook sexual and romantic aggressor type (though not that much of a manwhore, respectively.) He wasn't particularly rough in bed though he was matter-of-fact about it. He liked pretty typical stuff in bed and I was the one usually suggesting things that weren't completely boring, I suggested some rough stuff and he would do it but always after asking if I want him to; like obviously I wouldn't have asked if I didn't want you to. Lol. And I don't think he was that comfortable with it.Haha yeah, I'd say that roughness in bed is pretty universal for ESTps, both male and female. We also tend to get really, really into the experience while it's happening, so we grope, push, grab, bite, etc. without even really thinking about it. I can see how this could be really problematic for some people who aren't into that type of thing, but trying to change an ESTp in the sexual sphere would probably end up being futile.
Oh and also, as a general observation, ESTps are total horndogs too, especially in the summer months.
I'm totally, completely guilty of this, by the way. It doesn't help that I have a sex drive the size of the Taj Mahal, due to hormones and whatnot.
Okay, so with the
<random>While we're on the subject of this, my ISFj mom got me a shrink (long story
Oh my.
Tbh, ordinary, penetrative sex is boring. Especially if you're on the receiving end. Pain, however isn't. If sex=pleasure/pain. Then I'm up for it. No pain, no fun, no pleasure. If you want all the fun, you ain't getting it. If you want all your needs satisfied, I'm not doing it. I have needs too.
I do not suffer fools gladly.
I've had sex with one SLE and it was amazing sex. I ended up moving away and he got back together with his ex so we didn't talk for a while after... But we are so sexually compatible. Wow. I really like when guys are dominant and aggressive... And welp...
I'm an IEI.
They like anal, so there's always an extra door if the other two get tired.
If I'm right sex involves physical act. These days it is becoming more apparent that we can relieve physically exhaustive use of human body using robotics.
http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage...-10-years.html
ESTp nightmare?
My experience with different SLEs is that once you have been with them, they kind of feel like they own you. When I was in my late teens I was with one but it faded. We still hung out in the same circles. Every time I talked to another guy he would be right there to put a stop to it by charming me. He did not want to be forgotten. Even when he was with someone else. It was so annoying. I am sure other guys thought he was a cockblocker. hahah
The other one I was in a long relationship with and he was more like the guy @summerprincess described. He was practically still a virgin when I met him though and younger than me. I was the more adventuress one when it came to adding some magic to the experience but I let him feel like he was in charge most of the time. Just had to find creative ways to suggest things and get him into it. When I was wearing schoolgirl outfits and lingerie it was a big turn on for him. I bought lots. He liked ponytails too, especially taking them down. He knew when I pulled my hair up I meant business. It didn't stay up long though.
Another SLE I know was having sex on the side with this girl but since she was cheating on her boyfriend with him it made him angry. He got drunk and posted the details to her boyfriend's FB. It was a disaster but he didn't even feel bad because he thought she was a slut and deserved it. I asked him about his part in it and he just shrugged and said, "She came onto me. She was hot". I asked why he ruined her relationship and he said he couldn't stand looking at her face every day and hearing about her bf. He also got fired, a short time later, for asking if she was sucking the manager's cock too. He said it in front of everyone. I think that shows the levels of possessiveness an SLE can have even when they can't stand someone.
I think they grow out of it or gain more control of it at some point but some take longer to mature. The female SLE were way more mature than the males I knew but they were pretty possessive as well.
I don't mind a bit of possessiveness as long as it is done properly. Ruining someone's relationship with others is not good. Now that he has stopped drinking he says he wouldn't get in that kind of situation again. It wasn't worth the loss of income but he felt great calling her out in the moment. He has probably matured and probably has drunken regrets that still haunt him even though he doesn't admit it. I just kind of feel it from what he has told me.
Last edited by Aylen; 12-18-2015 at 07:43 PM. Reason: clarification
“My typology is . . . not in any sense to stick labels on people at first sight. It is not a physiognomy and not an anthropological system, but a critical psychology dealing with the organization and delimitation of psychic processes that can be shown to be typical.” —C.G. Jung
Any more information on female SLEs and sex...?
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