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Thread: Types, Quadra: Fidelity vs Infidelity

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    Default Types, Quadra: Fidelity vs Infidelity

    Of course this is only based on averages....


    can cheating and fidelity be broken up by quadra, or even more specifically by particular personalities?

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    Unlikely. You could do an in depth study of what each type looks for in a relationship so as to desire such lasting, but there are too many factors in infidelity that are outside the realm of the order of one's functions.


    It would be easy for me to say ESFps are the biggest cheaters, however, as is generally irrelevant to them. But that is not really a fair statement.
    Pre-2013 post are written with incomplete understanding.

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    I have paid attention and picked up on what I see as ENFP's

    In love with being in love...not really in love with the person from what I have taken note on....it is more the experience.

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    Phwoar. Everyone hates on the ENFPs.

    I don't know of any ENFP that has cheated.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Thunder
    Quote Originally Posted by NeonMonk
    Phwoar. Everyone hates on the ENFPs.

    I don't know of any ENFP that has cheated.
    I know one.

    Is it my imagination or have you not been here for ages? <3 NeonMonk

    Aussie ENFps (particularly the males) are very charming, I think they accidentally give the impression that they care more than they actually do, this would be where the problems arise. Australia is ISTp country, I guess everyone secretly wants you to be their dual.
    That's why Paul Keating was voted out - he's an ESTp :wink:
    ISTj.

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    from what I've seen, INTps don't have a problem cheating.
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    Quote Originally Posted by rockclimber
    from what I've seen, INTps don't have a problem cheating.
    I don't think it's fair to say that any type "doesn't have a problem cheating". Perhaps some types will be more likely to cheat, for different reasons, but it's not the same as "no problem".
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    Quote Originally Posted by rockclimber
    from what I've seen, INTps don't have a problem cheating.
    It would be easy for me to say ESFps are the biggest cheaters, however, as Introverted Thinking is generally irrelevant to them. But that is not really a fair statement.
    They must be duals!
    Pre-2013 post are written with incomplete understanding.

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    No correlation between type and cheating, even if I would suspect that if we really were to look into it, extraverts are maybe slightly more likely to cheat than introverts.
    Obsequium amicos, veritas odium parit

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    Ok, this:


    It would be easy for me to say ESFps are the biggest cheaters, however, as is generally irrelevant to them.
    Why would that make a difference?
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    Quote Originally Posted by Thunder
    Quote Originally Posted by NeonMonk
    Phwoar. Everyone hates on the ENFPs.

    I don't know of any ENFP that has cheated.
    I know one.

    Is it my imagination or have you not been here for ages? <3 NeonMonk

    Aussie ENFps (particularly the males) are very charming, I think they accidentally give the impression that they care more than they actually do, this would be where the problems arise. Australia is ISTp country, I guess everyone secretly wants you to be their dual.

    Yeah that's pretty true. I'll pay that one!

    Haven't been here in a long time! Really flattering to see people still remember me.


    I think you've got something though, this probably is ISTP country, I think even a fair bit of the women are ISTP. Maybe.
    And as I said before, you are right about giving a wrong impression, we probably unintentionally let people down when they think we care more than we really do. It's not on purpose though.

    What can you do.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Thunder
    Quote Originally Posted by NeonMonk
    Quote Originally Posted by Thunder
    Quote Originally Posted by NeonMonk
    Phwoar. Everyone hates on the ENFPs.

    I don't know of any ENFP that has cheated.
    I know one.

    Is it my imagination or have you not been here for ages? <3 NeonMonk

    Aussie ENFps (particularly the males) are very charming, I think they accidentally give the impression that they care more than they actually do, this would be where the problems arise. Australia is ISTp country, I guess everyone secretly wants you to be their dual.

    Yeah that's pretty true. I'll pay that one!

    Haven't been here in a long time! Really flattering to see people still remember me.


    I think you've got something though, this probably is ISTP country, I think even a fair bit of the women are ISTP. Maybe.
    And as I said before, you are right about giving a wrong impression, we probably unintentionally let people down when they think we care more than we really do. It's not on purpose though.

    What can you do.
    (I used to go by "ishysquishy", in case you don't recognise the name)

    I think there are a lot of Deltas in Australia, it's all full of ENFps and ISTps especially (I think meatburger also mentioned this at some point). Even when they're not dominating the scene, the culture itself is very ISTp.
    Ok. That's it. I'm migrating to Australia.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Thunder
    (I used to go by "ishysquishy", in case you don't recognise the name)

    I think there are a lot of Deltas in Australia, it's all full of ENFps and ISTps especially (I think meatburger also mentioned this at some point). Even when they're not dominating the scene, the culture itself is very ISTp.

    IshySquishy! Long time no see! You're even in the same city as me!

    I've only met a few ISTp females here though. At least, I think. I don't pay too much attention to typing and I'm probably not that good at it!

    Are you sure about lots of ENFps though? Male ENFps?
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    Quote Originally Posted by rockclimber
    from what I've seen, INTps don't have a problem cheating.
    Just how many INTps have you seen that fit this description?
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    Quote Originally Posted by Slacker Mom
    Ok, this:


    It would be easy for me to say ESFps are the biggest cheaters, however, as is generally irrelevant to them.
    Why would that make a difference?
    is a static quality, for one thing. How many reasons would you want?
    They are all only half-reasons, but there are plenty of them.
    Pre-2013 post are written with incomplete understanding.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Thunder
    Quote Originally Posted by NeonMonk
    Quote Originally Posted by Thunder
    Quote Originally Posted by NeonMonk
    Phwoar. Everyone hates on the ENFPs.

    I don't know of any ENFP that has cheated.
    I know one.

    Is it my imagination or have you not been here for ages? <3 NeonMonk

    Aussie ENFps (particularly the males) are very charming, I think they accidentally give the impression that they care more than they actually do, this would be where the problems arise. Australia is ISTp country, I guess everyone secretly wants you to be their dual.

    Yeah that's pretty true. I'll pay that one!

    Haven't been here in a long time! Really flattering to see people still remember me.


    I think you've got something though, this probably is ISTP country, I think even a fair bit of the women are ISTP. Maybe.
    And as I said before, you are right about giving a wrong impression, we probably unintentionally let people down when they think we care more than we really do. It's not on purpose though.

    What can you do.
    (I used to go by "ishysquishy", in case you don't recognise the name)

    I think there are a lot of Deltas in Australia, it's all full of ENFps and ISTps especially (I think meatburger also mentioned this at some point). Even when they're not dominating the scene, the culture itself is very ISTp.
    Yeah a little too ISTp for me. It's why Australia has never had any romantic leaders (with the possible exception of Paul Keating), any true leaders who actually lead and inspire rather than regurgitate prejudices that prevail in the culture of this place. It's good in one sense in that we're incapable of breeding leaders like Hitler. But it's also a weakness in that we do not aspire to greatness, the way ENFjs aspire. Australia could do with alot more ENFJs and ISTjs :wink:
    ISTj.

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    My husband is Australian, his best friend there is ENFp, and his wife is ISTp. I didn't see more Deltas there than here though. I saw a lot of Alphas, but then my husband's family is mainly Alpha.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Thunder
    Quote Originally Posted by NeonMonk
    Quote Originally Posted by Thunder
    (I used to go by "ishysquishy", in case you don't recognise the name)

    I think there are a lot of Deltas in Australia, it's all full of ENFps and ISTps especially (I think meatburger also mentioned this at some point). Even when they're not dominating the scene, the culture itself is very ISTp.

    IshySquishy! Long time no see! You're even in the same city as me!

    I've only met a few ISTp females here though. At least, I think. I don't pay too much attention to typing and I'm probably not that good at it!

    Are you sure about lots of ENFps though? Male ENFps?
    I'm fairly sure. I was exaggerating a bit, it's not like *everyone* is Delta, but the balance is a bit uneven.
    To be honest i haven't noticed it, i have never lived overseas so i have no basis for comparison. I do see a lot of deltas around though and can understand its an ISTp country. I have never identified another ENFp guy. I doubt we are that rare perhaps i just really don't want to meet one lol.

    Anyway Infidelity... I dont think i could cheat on a girlfriend. I try hard to not even flirt with anyone else when im with someone. I would break up with her first.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Thunder
    is also a static quality, and that is pretty relevant to them.
    As a creative function.
    Pre-2013 post are written with incomplete understanding.

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    Quote Originally Posted by UDP III
    Quote Originally Posted by rockclimber
    from what I've seen, INTps don't have a problem cheating.
    It would be easy for me to say ESFps are the biggest cheaters, however, as Introverted Thinking is generally irrelevant to them. But that is not really a fair statement.
    They must be duals!

    i actually think the statement is probably more true to INTps than to ESFps, really. from what i have read, they're capable of being very faithful, apparently, and then very forgiving to those who do cheat. of course my experience with this is limited. i'm just mostly tired of being cheated on.


    the most faithful (and probably my favorite ex-boyfriend) was either an ISTj or an ISFj (sort of like you show a lot of , UDP. this guy had a good deal of .) also an EXFp ex of mine was super faithful + life-long friend of mine. i don't think it's entirely fair to correlate that to cheating at any rate.
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    (It should be noted that my comments in this thread that are 'demeaning' to ESFps are purely for entertainment purposes)
    Pre-2013 post are written with incomplete understanding.

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    I've cheated on the majority of boyfriends I've had. I'm not proud of it and don't actively search someone else out, it just happens. I get into relationships and become so bored I need a change without actually leaving the person. I do think that if i were to meet someone I geninuely loved, I wouldn't have the urge to cheat but the chances of that are very slim. I simply get bored and need variety and I don't know if that will ever change. One thing that scares me to death is being with the same person for years and years and having absolutely no excitement in life. I don't know if I could ever marry for this reason...commitment for me is extremely hard. I can justify my actions....if someone i'm seeing is not giving me the attention or 'spark' that I need, you can bet I'll be getting it from someone else...I generally don't see a problem because if you're with me, you should know what I want. And yes, i realize this is a messed up thought process, but that's how I am.

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    The one ESFp I've met was a deceitful-back-stabbing whore who told me to my face that she had no problem being committed to me, when in fact she had ZERO intention of doing so; after a couple months she broke down and told me she'd been cheating on me, not with one guy, but two (both of which she was also "committed" to). The amazing part is that I've forgiven her...

    Quote Originally Posted by jessica129
    I've cheated on the majority of boyfriends I've had. I'm not proud of it and don't actively search someone else out, it just happens. I get into relationships and become so bored I need a change without actually leaving the person. I do think that if i were to meet someone I geninuely loved, I wouldn't have the urge to cheat but the chances of that are very slim. I simply get bored and need variety and I don't know if that will ever change. One thing that scares me to death is being with the same person for years and years and having absolutely no excitement in life. I don't know if I could ever marry for this reason...commitment for me is extremely hard. I can justify my actions....if someone i'm seeing is not giving me the attention or 'spark' that I need, you can bet I'll be getting it from someone else...I generally don't see a problem because if you're with me, you should know what I want. And yes, i realize this is a messed up thought process, but that's how I am.
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    lol, no where in there did i say i had 'sexual relations' with them. Don't get mad at me because you couldn't keep your girlfriend :wink:

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    jessica, the solution would just be not to commit; I mean, you go out with the guy, but if you two never have a "relationship talk" or if none of the two pushes for commitment, then there's no cheating.

    Anyways personally I've never cheated but that's mostly because I only commit if I really really like the girl, otherwise I make my intentions very clear before having sex so that no hearts are broken/no drama is created...
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    Quote Originally Posted by jessica129
    I've cheated on the majority of boyfriends I've had. I'm not proud of it and don't actively search someone else out, it just happens. I get into relationships and become so bored I need a change without actually leaving the person. I do think that if i were to meet someone I geninuely loved, I wouldn't have the urge to cheat but the chances of that are very slim. I simply get bored and need variety and I don't know if that will ever change. One thing that scares me to death is being with the same person for years and years and having absolutely no excitement in life. I don't know if I could ever marry for this reason...commitment for me is extremely hard. I can justify my actions....if someone i'm seeing is not giving me the attention or 'spark' that I need, you can bet I'll be getting it from someone else...I generally don't see a problem because if you're with me, you should know what I want. And yes, i realize this is a messed up thought process, but that's how I am.
    yay! what a wicked dual i have. Thankfully ive met a number of ISTp's and they are not all like you
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    Well if you boil down what she said, she doesn't get the she wants so she gets bored. If she were with an ENFp, presumably she'd have all the she needed and wouldn't have that problem. Hopefully.

    I've never cheated on anyone but I have dumped one guy for another, which isn't that far removed from cheating.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Slacker Mom
    I've never cheated on anyone but I have dumped one guy for another, which isn't that far removed from cheating.
    Uhmmm, I personally think it's very different than cheating - at least there's honesty in this case, right?
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    Quote Originally Posted by FDG
    Quote Originally Posted by Slacker Mom
    I've never cheated on anyone but I have dumped one guy for another, which isn't that far removed from cheating.
    Uhmmm, I personally think it's very different than cheating - at least there's honesty in this case, right?
    Exactly FDG! At least have enough respect for the other person to tell them the truth. Give them the maximum chance to find someone else
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    Quote Originally Posted by Diana
    Quote Originally Posted by FDG
    Quote Originally Posted by Slacker Mom
    I've never cheated on anyone but I have dumped one guy for another, which isn't that far removed from cheating.
    Uhmmm, I personally think it's very different than cheating - at least there's honesty in this case, right?
    Hmm. I've always been honest to those I'm with.
    I meant it in contrast with the cheating - if you cheat you're not honest, if you dump for another guy/girl at least you're honest.
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    Quote Originally Posted by FDG
    Quote Originally Posted by Diana
    Quote Originally Posted by FDG
    Quote Originally Posted by Slacker Mom
    I've never cheated on anyone but I have dumped one guy for another, which isn't that far removed from cheating.
    Uhmmm, I personally think it's very different than cheating - at least there's honesty in this case, right?
    Hmm. I've always been honest to those I'm with.
    I meant it in contrast with the cheating - if you cheat you're not honest, if you dump for another guy/girl at least you're honest.
    Sure, but I think I can see Slacker Mom's point -- if you dump one person for another, presumably there was already enough going on with the "other" before the actual breakup with the "one", even if the "enough" stops short of cheating in the precise meaning of the term, "technically".

    If you dump someone with another person in mind, but you haven't actually, uh, "probed" the other person as to a relationship, so that there is a real chance that the new one won't take off, that's different.

    But if you dump someone knowing for sure that you'll start a relationship with someone else immediately afterwards, then, to my standards, there was already a level of cheating involved, even if, yes, not as bad as some others.
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    I don't think that hanging out with somebody else ex. at the workplace, and getting to know each other and ending up being attracted, can classify as cheating as long as both parties don't allow anything physical to happen until there has been the break-up.

    I think that until you don't have a very serious relationship - engagement, marriage - that's something which is should be taken into account, otherwise it's really really limiting.
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    Yeah i understand Slacker moms point and can understand what she means. I think im just traditional in that way. Theres the idea of emotional cheating etc etc.

    I just see people who just let it happen as "weak". I know its probablly not true but i personally have a great deal of control over my actions and feelings. When i was with my ex i had a girl who was really nice comming after me but because i was in a relationship and i respected my girlfriend at the time i told her i cannot persue it. Little did i know my ex was cheating on me while all this was happening. If she had integrity she would have told me its not working and dumped me so i could persue the other girl. Now that ship has sailed.

    Why cant you sleep with someone once or twice before you dump your current boyfriend / girlfriend? I just dont know i just feel its wrong. Seems to be an act of betrayal or something. Putting your dick in someone else / Having a dick put in you while your significant other is wondering what your doing it just cheap.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Expat
    Quote Originally Posted by FDG
    Quote Originally Posted by Diana
    Quote Originally Posted by FDG
    Quote Originally Posted by Slacker Mom
    I've never cheated on anyone but I have dumped one guy for another, which isn't that far removed from cheating.
    Uhmmm, I personally think it's very different than cheating - at least there's honesty in this case, right?
    Hmm. I've always been honest to those I'm with.
    I meant it in contrast with the cheating - if you cheat you're not honest, if you dump for another guy/girl at least you're honest.
    Sure, but I think I can see Slacker Mom's point -- if you dump one person for another, presumably there was already enough going on with the "other" before the actual breakup with the "one", even if the "enough" stops short of cheating in the precise meaning of the term, "technically".

    If you dump someone with another person in mind, but you haven't actually, uh, "probed" the other person as to a relationship, so that there is a real chance that the new one won't take off, that's different.

    But if you dump someone knowing for sure that you'll start a relationship with someone else immediately afterwards, then, to my standards, there was already a level of cheating involved, even if, yes, not as bad as some others.
    Yeah, there's a level of dishonesty because in your mind you've moved onto someone else and planned this new relationship, and while you're working on that this person who thinks he's the one you're thinking of is in the dark about the whole thing. I feel badly about having done that to people. Usually if there's guilt somewhere it's telling you something.
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    I disagree with the whole concept of "emotional cheating".

    We are humans. We can control our actions, yes, and our impulses. But we can't, fortunately, control our emotions.
    Obsequium amicos, veritas odium parit

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    Quote Originally Posted by FDG
    We are humans. We can control our actions, yes, and our impulses. But we can't, fortunately, control our emotions.
    Yes, but you can control your actions and your words when you already have everything set to start a relationship with someone else, but yet, to the end, you pretend everything is still ok to the soon-to-be-ex-who-remains-clueless. On those situations, by the time you actually dump them, you had already "dumped them" in your mind for someone else but failed to do so. Call it leading someone on, or lying, or being a coward, or whatever, if you don't like the term "emotional cheating".

    The people who dump someone already knowing for sure that they will start a relationship with someone else have done something shameful in my book at least. Whether "not controlling your emotions" is a good excuse or reason for that, you decide. Just think whether you like it when it's done to you.
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    Quote Originally Posted by implied
    gah you're like the shittiest ENTj ever!

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    Quote Originally Posted by meatburger
    Why cant you sleep with someone once or twice before you dump your current boyfriend / girlfriend? I just dont know i just feel its wrong.
    The reason is simple -- because you're necessarily lying to him/her, which is disgraceful.
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    gah you're like the shittiest ENTj ever!

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    Quote Originally Posted by Expat
    Quote Originally Posted by FDG
    We are humans. We can control our actions, yes, and our impulses. But we can't, fortunately, control our emotions.
    Yes, but you can control your actions and your words when you already have everything set to start a relationship with someone else, but yet, to the end, you pretend everything is still ok to the soon-to-be-ex-who-remains-clueless. On those situations, by the time you actually dump them, you had already "dumped them" in your mind for someone else but failed to do so. Call it leading someone on, or lying, or being a coward, or whatever, if you don't like the term "emotional cheating".

    The people who dump someone already knowing for sure that they will start a relationship with someone else have done something shameful in my book at least. Whether "not controlling your emotions" is a good excuse or reason for that, you decide. Just think whether you like it when it's done to you.
    Again, maybe in Italy the perispective is skewed, but all the girls I know jump, and have always jumped, from relationship to relationship - even long-term relationships start this way, all the time. Every every girl even in a relationship has 1-2 guys hitting hard on them. At every point in time. I used to believe that girls that are in a relationship shouldn't be touched, but after hearing from people that have been married 30 years that their relationship started from the man hitting on the girl while she was already with somebody else, uh, I decided I was really being just a fool.

    And it means nothing that when it's done to me I feel bad. The fact that I feel bad doesn't mean that what they've done is wrong. If they loved somebody else, they've done the best at already leaving me out of their mind, if that's what has already happened.
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    Quote Originally Posted by FDG
    Again, maybe in Italy the perispective is skewed, but all the girls I know jump, and have always jumped, from relationship to relationship - even long-term relationships start this way, all the time. Every every girl even in a relationship has 1-2 guys hitting hard on them. At every point in time. I used to believe that girls that are in a relationship shouldn't be touched, but after hearing from people that have been married 30 years that their relationship started from the man hitting on the girl while she was already with somebody else, uh, I decided I was really being just a fool.
    To the extent that it's connected to countries, it's definitely not only in Italy.

    Also, I think it tends to be a more common pattern in high school/university environments, because to the immature, silly and image-conscious kids it's often important to be with someone, "oh I can't be the only one among my friends without a boyfriend" etc etc -- "boo huh I'm going with such a loser to that party/ball/whatever etc etc"

    But in that situation, you are implicitly accepting that during any relationship that your girlfriend may already be, uh, "negotiating a better deal" even as she says "you're wonderful, FDG"? The only way to deal with that, to me, is never to really trust anyone, which to me means spending your time with someone you don't trust -- as long as that is understood by all parts, fine. I prefer to read a book then.
    , LIE, ENTj logical subtype, 8w9 sx/sp
    Quote Originally Posted by implied
    gah you're like the shittiest ENTj ever!

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