Emily

[Minde]

I really like her. We only relatively recently have been talking and interacting with each other, as in the last couple of years, though I've known her longer. It's been a slow sort of growth, and before we just sort of saw and respected each other, but never really connected. I just thought she was a cool girl, and I'm not sure she ever really noticed me that much. I think she likes me, too, because I'm one of the people she'll occasionally come up and randomly hug or say "hello" and "how are you?" (really wanting to know, not just saying the greeting) when we're in the same vicinity. (She doesn't come up and hug just anybody, she's rather selective.)

She's not particularly pretty by popular standards, but that's not really her goal in life. She doesn't care so much about fashion as about doing the right thing. She's pretty confident and secure in herself, which isn't necessarily related to personality. Despite not seeking popularity, she's got plenty of friends and they're high quality ones.

One of the things I like about her is that I can get sassy with her and she'll take it the right way. She doesn't get all surprised, like some people, "Oh, my goodness, I didn't know sweet little you could be like that!" and such. She doesn't get mad or misunderstand me, either. She knows I'm joking, and she actually likes it and will encourage it in me. And she can pick up on what I'm saying, too, usually. Sometimes I'll say things quietly and indirectly, with hidden or double meanings - not really intentionally clever or anything like that, but just what I'm thinking, which isn't always direct and clear. If she's sitting next to me, she listens and picks up on that sort of stuff more than other people. And then she goes off on it, especially if it's about her, and it's a lot of fun.

She's got strong but not overly stubborn or loud opinions about the things around her. She'll often talk in statements. Like, in reference to some drama, "He was out of line; you were not. He shouldn’t have [whatever]." Or about band practice or performance, "Yeah, I don't think we did so good today. The monitors were all messed up, I couldn't hear myself, and the kids weren't reacting at all. I'm kind of bummed."

She doesn't get bubbly or mushy. She's pretty straightforward. I like how she talks. It can be comforting just to listen. She's fairly laidback and not particularly excitable, though she can be louder and more, um, moving around, than me (which isn't too hard to do, I guess).

She seems to like it ok when I'm being me. For example, she's having a hard week. The girls she's working with are giving her a lot of disrespect and negativity, which is wearing on her. So I come up to her when I get a good chance, hug her, ask her how she's doing, listen if she wants to say anything, and just be with her for a little if she doesn't (though she usually does sat at least something). She's also been feeling sick, so I found her a hot water bottle, sat her in front of my little fire that I have in the room where I work, and then suggested/told her she should take part of the day off and sleep. She responds well to that sort of stuff, though I think she gets the biggest kick out of me showing my more playful side.

Not sure if this is related to personality, but she's often asked to be the worship leader amongst the people I'm with nowadays, for chapel and smaller groups. She doesn't seek out the position, but fills it well.

[Expat]

Gamma or Delta, probably rational and negativist

I think either ISFj or ESTj.

[Minde]

Thank you.


I feel rather like an unintelligent broken record, so I won't ask my usual question.

[Expat]

Thank you.


I feel rather like an unintelligent broken record, so I won't ask my usual question.

"How?" I will get to that.

[Minde]

Yes, I should have known that.

[Expat]

I really like her. We only relatively recently have been talking and interacting with each other, as in the last couple of years, though I've known her longer. It's been a slow sort of growth, and before we just sort of saw and respected each other, but never really connected. I just thought she was a cool girl, and I'm not sure she ever really noticed me that much. I think she likes me, too, because I'm one of the people she'll occasionally come up and randomly hug or say "hello" and "how are you?" (really wanting to know, not just saying the greeting) when we're in the same vicinity. (She doesn't come up and hug just anybody, she's rather selective.)

Being "selective" in those matters suggests either introversion (in the sense of not feeling she has to take the initiative) or Fi>Fe, but not necessarily. The "slow growth" suggests the same.

She's not particularly pretty by popular standards, but that's not really her goal in life. She doesn't care so much about fashion as about doing the right thing. She's pretty confident and secure in herself, which isn't necessarily related to personality. Despite not seeking popularity, she's got plenty of friends and they're high quality ones.

Especially coming from yourself as a Fi dominant, this suggests that she's also got Fi as quadra value.

One of the things I like about her is that I can get sassy with her and she'll take it the right way. She doesn't get all surprised, like some people, "Oh, my goodness, I didn't know sweet little you could be like that!" and such. She doesn't get mad or misunderstand me, either. She knows I'm joking, and she actually likes it and will encourage it in me. And she can pick up on what I'm saying, too, usually. Sometimes I'll say things quietly and indirectly, with hidden or double meanings - not really intentionally clever or anything like that, but just what I'm thinking, which isn't always direct and clear. If she's sitting next to me, she listens and picks up on that sort of stuff more than other people. And then she goes off on it, especially if it's about her, and it's a lot of fun.

The same -- it suggests that you already have some sort of selective mutual understanding, which is not common for either of you for everyone, so again the Fi quadra.

She's got strong but not overly stubborn or loud opinions about the things around her. She'll often talk in statements. Like, in reference to some drama, "He was out of line; you were not. He shouldn’t have [whatever]." Or about band practice or performance, "Yeah, I don't think we did so good today. The monitors were all messed up, I couldn't hear myself, and the kids weren't reacting at all. I'm kind of bummed."

Again -- these are all Te-Fi signs, and of negativism in Reinin.

She doesn't get bubbly or mushy. She's pretty straightforward. I like how she talks. It can be comforting just to listen. She's fairly laidback and not particularly excitable, though she can be louder and more, um, moving around, than me (which isn't too hard to do, I guess).

The same, but the "laidback" thing suggests either Delta or introversion -- if ESTj or ISFj, she could appear so to you.

She seems to like it ok when I'm being me. For example, she's having a hard week. The girls she's working with are giving her a lot of disrespect and negativity, which is wearing on her. So I come up to her when I get a good chance, hug her, ask her how she's doing, listen if she wants to say anything, and just be with her for a little if she doesn't (though she usually does sat at least something). She's also been feeling sick, so I found her a hot water bottle, sat her in front of my little fire that I have in the room where I work, and then suggested/told her she should take part of the day off and sleep. She responds well to that sort of stuff, though I think she gets the biggest kick out of me showing my more playful side.

This confirms the Fi-Te thing, and also that you have a particularly favorable intertype relationship. However, she sounds a bit more passive and less talkative than a Te EJ would be.

Not sure if this is related to personality, but she's often asked to be the worship leader amongst the people I'm with nowadays, for chapel and smaller groups. She doesn't seek out the position, but fills it well.

That means that she's widely perceived as a person of whose morals and convictions people usually look up to and are even in a bit of awe to. It suggests again the strong Fi thing.

Overall she seems a Gamma or Delta, rational (just from the overall impression), and more likely introvert. She's too quiet with you to be ENTj or ESTj, and you don't seem to see her as identical, so overall ISFj.

This one is more difficult to break down; what makes it easier is already knowing your (Minde's) type.

[Minde]

This confirms the Fi-Te thing, and also that you have a particularly favorable intertype relationship. However, she sounds a bit more passive and less talkative than a Te EJ would be.

When we're together, she does most of the talking, but she listens to me, too, and more, um, sincerely than most people. As in, she really listens to what I'm saying and then responds like she's actually thought about it.

Not sure if this is related to personality, but she's often asked to be the worship leader amongst the people I'm with nowadays, for chapel and smaller groups. She doesn't seek out the position, but fills it well.

That means that she's widely perceived as a person of whose morals and convictions people usually look up to and are even in a bit of awe to. It suggests again the strong Fi thing.

I think it also means people see her as a competent musician, plus she's confident in starting and carrying songs. People trust her to lead well in that regard.

Overall she seems a Gamma or Delta, rational (just from the overall impression), and more likely introvert. She's too quiet with you to be ENTj or ESTj, and you don't seem to see her as identical, so overall ISFj.

This one is more difficult to break down; what makes it easier is already knowing your (Minde's) type.

What would you suggest as a good way to tell which one she is?

[Expat]

This one is more difficult to break down; what makes it easier is already knowing your (Minde's) type.

What would you suggest as a good way to tell which one she is?[/quote]

- What does she think of the ESTp guy, how do they get along, how does she deal with him?
- what is it that some people may not like about her?

[Minde]

- What does she think of the ESTp guy, how do they get along, how does she deal with him?

I think they like each other ok. There's at the least a mutual respect. They don't interact extensively, though they don't avoid one another either. She can joke around with him in his style better than I can. When I've seen them talking it's usually about business type stuff, though, like what needs to be done. She can work up to his standards - he's never expressed concern about how she does things (remember, he's really picky and persnickety about how things are done). She'll stand up to him better than I can, too. I don't think she gets intimidated.

- what is it that some people may not like about her?

Sometimes a few of the people she takes care/is in charge of complain that she's too strict and that she makes them participate in the program when they don't want to. Some people also might think that she's not tender or compassionate enough. For example, if someone gets a cold or a scrape, she's a little more likely to tell people "Deal with it" than "Oh, poor baby!" That doesn't mean that she doesn't sympathize, only that her help isn't going to be of the surface mushy (Fe?) kind.

Something else about her is that she's got more people who like her and want to hang out with her than I do. (Which, I might add, doesn't bother me at all in any way - quality, not quantity.)

[Minde]

So, I asked my ESFj what she thinks of Emily, and she says that Emily is a tough girl. She gets a lot of obstacles thrown at her, but she's a fighter and keeps going through it. She throws herself into her work, and sometimes she can get annoyed when others don't do the same. She also says that Emily is a physical, tactile person.

Uh, that's the gist of what she said. She seems to like her fine.


She likes to sneak attack certain people - run up behind them when they're not looking and grab them around the waist in a sort of hug. I call it a hug because even though it's not really one, it's not violent or aggressive, either. She's never done that to me, though, only people who I think must be of a different quadra. Not sure which one, though. She does that to Sam sometimes. They get along pretty well.

[Expat]

ISFj sensory subtype, I think.