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Thread: INFj Uncovered

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    Default INFj Uncovered

    If you had to write an INFj uncovered profile - what would it be? (I've read the Perfect INFj thread so I'm trying to get a fuller picture)
    ISTj.

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    eunice's Avatar
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    *They don't really bother that much about criticisms about their intelligence, 'cos they know that they are rather intelligent and rational people. However, if you ever criticize their appearance, YOU DIE.
    *They can forget all the compliments you have given them, but they will always remember the only criticism you have said.
    *INFjs believe that if you want to do something, you have to put in your all and excel in it. If you just want to do it without putting in much effort, don't even bother doing it.
    *INFjs under stress: become unproductive, lead a routine life, lost interest in hobbies
    *Easily infatuated but they don't date much.
    *When they are in online forums, it is a boost to their self-esteem when someone quoted their posts or agree with their ideas.
    *Can have rather low self-esteem. Feel that no one cares for them as much as they care for others.
    *Can be rather passive in asking people out. When no one calls them out, they feel depressed and think that they don't have any friends.
    *Always feel special and think that there is no one else in the world who are similar to or understand them.
    *Look quiet and calm on the surface. Will ignore you even if you try to taunt them. However, if you have gone too far and it rubbed them the wrong way, they will be sure to let you know. Trouble brews when INFjs become outwardly emotional.

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    UDP's Avatar
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    • INFjs can be naive, sometimes unreasonably so, about people's intentions towards them. Whether or not this naivete is intentional varies from person to person. Ethical idealism can get in the way, and, problems incur when their idealism is not backed with acceptance of the truth about how things really are (related to Se porl).

      INFjs do not speak up enough about what they need, and can often find themselves in extremely unreasonable positions. In need of protection somewhat; in need of people who will not take advantage of them, and actively support their well being. The option to exploit an INFj is frequently present. In need of someone who can "bring down the hammer", especially in terms of dealing with tense interpersonal situations.

      They can be so friendly and develop so many relationships, albeit acquaintances in the INFj's eyes, that an enormous sense of duty and responsibility to so many people wears out an INFj. Enjoy self sacrifice, but may become so used to it that they live unhealthy lifestyles. Bad habits may be overlooked by attempts at perfection in other areas. Overexhaustion may lead to emotional distress, and the already vulnerable INFj can be even more susceptible at this point.

      May be involved in negative relationships longer than they should be. May have difficulties breaking off things that are not living up to their standards - enjoy helping those "in need". However, once they have truly made up their mind about someone, they can say no with authority.

      May have unreasonable expectations for self. Or more so, expectations that are high, and yet, lack the assertiveness to properly go about them.


      A huge problem for INFjs is understanding that ethical perfection does not require themselves to always be on the short end of the stick, getting screwed over, or taking a bad deal. In that way, their outlook is extremely lopsided, and may develop the acceptance of unreasonable amounts of bullshit, pressuring, and exploitation by other people. They can then shrug this off as martyrdom, accepting being treated poorly as part of their pursuit for ethical perfection. This can often be a ploy to cover up the INFjs inability in volitional situations. So, it is easier for the INFj to say "oh well, I suppose I will suffer through this hardship, again....", than to face their fears of of using aggression and assertion. They often see this as making an ethical mistake, or appearing selfish - yet in this way, they only enable and encourage the very type of behavior they are against.
    Pre-2013 post are written with incomplete understanding.

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    eunice's Avatar
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    UDP, where did you get the INFj uncovered profile from?

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    UDP's Avatar
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    Why do you ask?
    If there is anything that is incorrect or questionable, it can be removed.
    It was a collection of things I saw (various profiles), infused with some of my own understandings of INFjs I know. I pulled no punches. That was done intentionally because INFjs and people who care about INFjs ought to understand what is going on.

    ~TMI~
    Pre-2013 post are written with incomplete understanding.

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    Quote Originally Posted by UDP III
    • So, it is easier for the INFj to say "oh well, I suppose I will suffer through this hardship, again....", than to face their fears of of using aggression and assertion. They often see this as making an ethical mistake, or appearing selfish - yet in this way, they only enable and encourage the very type of behavior they are against.
    Why do INFj's fear using aggression and assertion? How do they react to this behaviour from others?
    ISTj.

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    Your creative function is their porl - . Consider who their opposite, their conflictor is - the ESTp.
    And, as I said, it is related to ethical ideals.

    But INFjs should probably answer that question.
    Pre-2013 post are written with incomplete understanding.

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    x
    Last edited by HitmanISTP; 07-25-2008 at 01:38 AM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by HitmanISTP
    I know an INFJ married to an ENTP. They barely get along well. He collects things off the street and puts it in the house and of course the ENTP being messy ignores it yet at the same time complains about it and doesn't do much about it. It's weird, I know that people who become kleptos do it to "fill in" a psychological void , possibly he does it because the ENTP doesn't fulfill his soul so he creates distance by collecting things like junk. I went to his house and damn it was filthy. The ENTP had no problem with it. I feel very bad for him, he doesn't have the heart to divorce her considering he has children. They got a pretty f*cked up dysfunctional family, INFJs by no means marry an ENTP.
    god, gross!
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    Let's go to fairyland Minde's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mr_maguoo
    Why do INFj's fear using aggression and assertion? How do they react to this behaviour from others?
    I react by withdrawing and/or freezing up. I don't know how to handle it.

    I don't know why I fear it. It's admittedly a bit unreasonable. Over the last few years I've learned a lot about being assertive, though, so it's easier now for me to say "no" at least. And if it's a situation in which I'm generally comfortable and I know what's going on and what's likely to happen, I'm a lot freer.
    INFj / EII / FiNe
    ()


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    Quote Originally Posted by Minde
    Quote Originally Posted by mr_maguoo
    Why do INFj's fear using aggression and assertion? How do they react to this behaviour from others?
    I react by withdrawing and/or freezing up. I don't know how to handle it.

    I don't know why I fear it. It's admittedly a bit unreasonable. Over the last few years I've learned a lot about being assertive, though, so it's easier now for me to say "no" at least. And if it's a situation in which I'm generally comfortable and I know what's going on and what's likely to happen, I'm a lot freer.
    My soon to be ESTj step father also has a problem with confrontation. How does an ESTj protect an INFj's polr if he too has the same problem?
    ISTj.

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    Caregiver --> infantile
    Protection instinct.
    Pre-2013 post are written with incomplete understanding.

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    @UDP: I thought the profile you have consolidated was alright. I have assumed that you have gotten it from a website.

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    I think what UDP quoted was dead on.
    EII

    I'll tell you what
    there is plenty wrong with me
    but I fixed up a few old buildings
    and I've planted a few trees.

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    Some of my dearest friends are INFjs. They are wonderful people.

    Having said that . . . the worst trait I see in INFjs is that they can be (particularly when unhealthy for some reason) extraordinarily manipulative. The weak Se + the need for caregiving can make them need lots but be uncomfortable coming right out and asking for what they need.

    Not every INFj I know is manipulative. It depends on their overall emotional health and their particular circumstances. But if I were writing an INFj uncovered profile (specifically made to highlight the worst potential traits) I'd include that.
    It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.
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