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Thread: Is this quasi-identical or mirror relations?

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    reyn_til_runa's Avatar
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    Default Is this quasi-identical or mirror relations?

    tell me if this fits:

    -known each other for 3 years
    -initially discussed a lot of science and philosophy, bounced a lot of ideas back and forth
    -had both been sort of starved for intellectual discussions, so exhausted many topics rather quickly. it was pretty exhilarating.
    -would have long correspondences, first over email, then IM, and occasionally over phone, but never discussed personal matters, with the exception of work on occasion (if that can be considered personal)
    -our IM correspondences would largely begin after one of us shared an article or other information we had discovered
    -during the first two years, we'd have significant periods of silence between our conversations. there was never any mention of it, which was nice. for once, i wasn't the only one detaching.
    -we only saw each other in person 3 times in the first two years we knew each other and never really expressed the desire to see more of each other although i'm pretty sure we both thought of each other as a close friend.
    -never had many conflicts for the first year, although there were a few times i was being playful and i guess he perceived it as flirting, at which time he would say something like "shut the fuck up." half kidding, but basically serious.
    -given the above tendency, i became very careful about monitoring my moods around him. not that i have serious mood swings that i wish to reveal to people, but i was very conscious of having to remain an apt discussion partner, and nothing more. i would intentionally not talk to him when feeling funny or like being random. he cannot deal well with my randomness.
    -with humor, it depends. sometimes we laugh at the same things. i often get his jokes, but can't say that i find all of them funny. he sometimes gets my jokes, but only if they are based on something he knows.
    - he always was the one to call me, with few exceptions. it's not that i didn't want to talk to him, but he is the type of person to plan when he will call someone, whereas i prefer to just pick up the phone and call when i get the urge (not a phone person at all, but it happens from time to time).
    -after awhile, he would occasionally take it upon himself to advise me in matters where i did not want his advice. this was irritating. he seemed offended when i would say i didn't want advice, as if i were a helpless child and he knew the way i should go. conflicts never lasted long though. we could be annoyed at each other, but soon after, be fine.

    *after two years, we suddenly started hanging out. i moved into my own apartment, so he came over. we had sex the first time he came over. he started coming over more frequently, which was cool, but sort of baffled me in a way because i could not tell if he was having a good time or not, except when it came to the sex (which seemed good for both of us).
    -this funny thing developed where during sex we would be intense and there were certain allowances for expressing affection/pleasure, but otherwise the relationship remained cold. seriously it is like a switch. the minute we're done, there's no touching til the next time, no talking about it, no anything except discussing more science, philosophy, watching a movie, or sitting near each other, each reading a book.
    -this is basically where we are now
    -there are some short-lived conflicts, almost always starting during a scientific discussion. if i branch out from science you could read in a textbook and use my imagination or simply brainstorm, he immediately tells me i am wrong and not making sense. i try to tell him that i am not wrong and that i do make sense outside his personal context, but he usually persists in very heavyhandedly explaining the science behind what we're discussing, in the meantime dismissing what i had to say (funny because from my point of view, usually we agree on a fundamental level, but express things so differently that he thinks i'm wrong, and not only that, but "uninformed.")
    - i sort of roll my eyes when he does the above, but am the first to admit i don't know it all, whereas he will say he doesn't know it all, but acts like he does. he always thinks he "wins" these arguments, whereas i think he's just being bullheaded and narrow-minded. . one time we started arguing about why there is a need for a theory of everything. he was discussing the science, as was i, but when i suddenly said "any number divided by itself = 1, so perhaps it is not only one theory, but can thought of as x/x where x could be basically any number," he got very annoyed. he tells me i can't argue about something that is not before me (meaning something that has been proven). i didn't see the problem with bringing up the simple math property in the context of our discussion, found it relevant, and so on....

    i'm sure there's a lot of stuff i'm forgetting, so ask me questions.
    whenever the dog and i see each other we both stop where we are. we regard each other with a mixture of sadness and suspicion and then we feign indifference.

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    Hot Message FDG's Avatar
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    mirror!!
    Obsequium amicos, veritas odium parit

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    This sounds like Illusionary or contrary relations.

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    Oh she is INXp? I thought she was some kind of Alpha NT. I mean she sounds like one.

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    Quote Originally Posted by FDG
    mirror!!
    mirror mirror on the wall, yes i agree

    ILE

    those who are easily shocked.....should be shocked more often

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    talking about the same subjects, and understanding each other on the same subjects (you said he doesn't get your jokes unless its about something he already knows) sounds like you're in the same club. Mirror, contrary, quasi. IME I don't have sexual feelings toward my quasi but I might towards contrary and my mirror. So sounds like contrary or mirror. It woud be different if you wanted a relationship because it would imply earnestly trying to communicate rather than just being annoyed at differences. Normally a feeling of understanding is more noticable for mirror relations for me but I dont know what it feels like to you. Contrary to mirror descriptions that are available, I do feel warmth for my mirror because we want the same things. Also you said the .. sex was not bad so it sounds more mirror than contrary ?

    actually the sex being good is not really that strong of an indicator now that I think about it.. even though it could indicate something.

    What i was getting at is that though mirror relations and contrary relations can be largely discussionary i dont find it that hard to joke around and talk about other non club related things too with my mirror, which I do with my contrary. So that makes me wonder contrary over mirror.

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    Quote Originally Posted by diamond8
    Quote Originally Posted by FDG
    mirror!!
    mirror mirror on the wall, yes i agree

    blind guardian rocks

    anyway what you say points towards him being E (him calling you) and J (him wanting things to be somewhat planned), so ENTj is my bet
    Obsequium amicos, veritas odium parit

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    Quote Originally Posted by Ms. Kensington
    What i was getting at is that though mirror relations and contrary relations can be largely discussionary i dont find it that hard to joke around and talk about other non club related things too with my mirror, which I do with my contrary. So that makes me wonder contrary over mirror.
    IME this is true. It's often hard to find something that we can relate to on an conceptual level with my contrary/quasi/illusionary, even if the thing we are trying to relate in is the same subject. :-P

    Not that I don't agree with them, it's just draining to see things their way, because to me it's not the best way to see things sometimes.

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    Quote Originally Posted by FDG
    anyway what you say points towards him being E (him calling you) and J (him wanting things to be somewhat planned), so ENTj is my bet
    I agree with this. I kinda raised my eyebrows when I read that ENTps would plan on calling someone. No, it's more like me and the ENTp proffessor discussing/arguing, whether he should tell us when we have our exam. "But I have to plan when I study." and he saying, "You can't plan everything in life." and me saying, "but according to the school rules I have the right to know when the exam is, so that I could plan!"

    The best way to arrange a meeting with my ENTp friend is when I call him and tell him, let's meet tomorrow, even if I have been planning it for a week.
    EIE, ENFj, intuitive subtype.
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    Cool ILI hubbys are better than LSIs any time!

    Old blog: http://firsttimeinusa.blogspot.com/
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kristiina
    Quote Originally Posted by FDG
    anyway what you say points towards him being E (him calling you) and J (him wanting things to be somewhat planned), so ENTj is my bet
    I agree with this. I kinda raised my eyebrows when I read that ENTps would plan on calling someone. No, it's more like me and the ENTp proffessor discussing/arguing, whether he should tell us when we have our exam. "But I have to plan when I study." and he saying, "You can't plan everything in life." and me saying, "but according to the school rules I have the right to know when the exam is, so that I could plan!"

    The best way to arrange a meeting with my ENTp friend is when I call him and tell him, let's meet tomorrow, even if I have been planning it for a week.


    i hate this about dominants and if there's a good argument for me having a polr, here it is. bla bla bla you can't predict or set a date for anything b/c you're so goddamned disorganized to begin with.
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    I don't see how such a relationship could be of types from the same quadra. Types from the same quadra share the ideals for intimacy and approach. Seems to me like the two of you are living on different planes that cross somewhere and are there at the border cautiously looking at this other plane but inevitably staying on your plane.

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    Default Re: quasi-identical?

    I think there is a great chance that the relation is a Mirror. That's my strong overall impression, and the bolded parts describe my relations with my ENTj friends very well, especially the one ENTj I have spent most time with during the last 5-10 years.

    Quote Originally Posted by reyn_til_runa
    tell me if this fits:

    -known each other for 3 years
    -initially discussed a lot of science and philosophy, bounced a lot of ideas back and forth
    -had both been sort of starved for intellectual discussions, so exhausted many topics rather quickly. it was pretty exhilarating.
    -would have long correspondences, first over email, then IM, and occasionally over phone, but never discussed personal matters, with the exception of work on occasion (if that can be considered personal)
    -our IM correspondences would largely begin after one of us shared an article or other information we had discovered
    -during the first two years, we'd have significant periods of silence between our conversations. there was never any mention of it, which was nice. for once, i wasn't the only one detaching.
    -we only saw each other in person 3 times in the first two years we knew each other and never really expressed the desire to see more of each other although i'm pretty sure we both thought of each other as a close friend.

    -never had many conflicts for the first year, although there were a few times i was being playful and i guess he perceived it as flirting, at which time he would say something like "shut the fuck up." half kidding, but basically serious.
    -given the above tendency, i became very careful about monitoring my moods around him. not that i have serious mood swings that i wish to reveal to people, but i was very conscious of having to remain an apt discussion partner, and nothing more. i would intentionally not talk to him when feeling funny or like being random. he cannot deal well with my randomness.
    -with humor, it depends. sometimes we laugh at the same things. i often get his jokes, but can't say that i find all of them funny. he sometimes gets my jokes, but only if they are based on something he knows.
    - he always was the one to call me, with few exceptions. it's not that i didn't want to talk to him, but he is the type of person to plan when he will call someone, whereas i prefer to just pick up the phone and call when i get the urge (not a phone person at all, but it happens from time to time).
    -after awhile, he would occasionally take it upon himself to advise me in matters where i did not want his advice. this was irritating. he seemed offended when i would say i didn't want advice, as if i were a helpless child and he knew the way i should go. conflicts never lasted long though. we could be annoyed at each other, but soon after, be fine.

    *after two years, we suddenly started hanging out. i moved into my own apartment, so he came over. we had sex the first time he came over. he started coming over more frequently, which was cool, but sort of baffled me in a way because i could not tell if he was having a good time or not, except when it came to the sex (which seemed good for both of us).
    -this funny thing developed where during sex we would be intense and there were certain allowances for expressing affection/pleasure, but otherwise the relationship remained cold. seriously it is like a switch. the minute we're done, there's no touching til the next time, no talking about it, no anything except discussing more science, philosophy, watching a movie, or sitting near each other, each reading a book.
    -this is basically where we are now
    -there are some short-lived conflicts, almost always starting during a scientific discussion. if i branch out from science you could read in a textbook and use my imagination or simply brainstorm, he immediately tells me i am wrong and not making sense. i try to tell him that i am not wrong and that i do make sense outside his personal context, but he usually persists in very heavyhandedly explaining the science behind what we're discussing, in the meantime dismissing what i had to say (funny because from my point of view, usually we agree on a fundamental level, but express things so differently that he thinks i'm wrong, and not only that, but "uninformed.")
    - i sort of roll my eyes when he does the above, but am the first to admit i don't know it all, whereas he will say he doesn't know it all, but acts like he does. he always thinks he "wins" these arguments, whereas i think he's just being bullheaded and narrow-minded. . one time we started arguing about why there is a need for a theory of everything. he was discussing the science, as was i, but when i suddenly said "any number divided by itself = 1, so perhaps it is not only one theory, but can thought of as x/x where x could be basically any number," he got very annoyed. he tells me i can't argue about something that is not before me (meaning something that has been proven). i didn't see the problem with bringing up the simple math property in the context of our discussion, found it relevant, and so on....

    i'm sure there's a lot of stuff i'm forgetting, so ask me questions.

  13. #13
    cunnilingus epilepsy inducer
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    -never had many conflicts for the first year, although there were a few times i was being playful and i guess he perceived it as flirting, at which time he would say something like "shut the fuck up." half kidding, but basically serious.
    I get this from both LSEs and LIEs (maybe all EJs) male and female, so I don't think that it's them thinking I'm flirting. Probably them just thinking that I am acting/saying stupid irrational things.

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