A question for those who are here for relationship reasons

[Angel von Himmel]

If you have ever posted at the www.sosuave.net website forum with opposite sex issues or stayed there for a signifigant amount of time to get advice or tried to give advice, click yes ...

[Angel von Himmel]

Of course I am asking that now because I have discovered some of you are in fact posters at the forum ... yeah, I use to post there too.

Besides whatever positive insightfuls things are written there, I would not bother. I am just glad I am 2000+ miles away from the girls I use to screw around with.

[stevENTj]

never heard of it.

[Angel von Himmel]

never heard of it.

Probably a good thing, other than some self-discovery I wasted my life posting there for the most part.

[Transigent]

Edited for gayness.

[Angel von Himmel]

I browsed the site activelly for about 3 years and have an account with over 2000-3000 post there. There are alot of ideas on there that actually work in the sense that they do attract women, but that are usually the wrong type of women as I so painfully found out. And if there decent women attracted to you, they are probably just naive or do not realize you are acting like a total ass and are probably not worthy of their attention. There are alot of nice ones ofoutthere that get suckered like that and it is not fair that they are being treated that way, a girl might just do that to you and I know you would not like that.

The main problem I have with the website is that the main premise is basically a flawed neo-darwinistic viewpoint that only the strongest men can attract women and if you have nice qualities you probably will never find a woman, and if are a good man the premise also assumes that women are whores and users that treat those kind of men like personal nannies and milk them for money.

Unfortunatelly, even the idoled "POOK" on that website has bought into that psychologically unfounded idea and the whole website promotes it.

I actually find the website rather insulting and psychologically innacurate. The egotistical neodarwinism with the Alpha male BS is a total slap in the face to Maslow, who origionally coined the term "Alpha and Beta male" as it is used in honest psychological studies and even he noted in his studies that women do not by default chase after just one type of man and especially not the Alpha male. He actually said the Beta male got the most action.

Anyhow, if you would like to see alot of men BSing about sex constantly and spouting out alot of shit, go to that website. I say no thank you.

And the only decent way to get a woman is to just start talking to them and start hanging around them. Eventually you will just click with one and things usually progress from there. And just be your normal self and treat people the way you want to be treated ... people will respect you for that.

[Kim]

edit

[Angel von Himmel]

And I was not bad mouthing you transient ... it is just that I have already been run through that mill and know exactly what to expect from it. I know the philosophy there and it is not a good one, even though it appears to be something profitable and insightful. It is not ...

[stevENTj]

never heard of it.

Probably a good thing, other than some self-discovery I wasted my life posting there for the most part.

The problem with a lot of web forums these days is that you tend to get a bunch of people together who have little to no knowledge of and really no business whatsoever even commenting on the topic at hand for the purpose of "guiding" others. The bigger problem is that those with the least business commenting strangely enough seem to always have the most time to post their nonsense. Maybe it's not so bad on some of the automotive forums I help to run because then you're dealing with concrete things and hard sciences where if somebody is full of shit it's fairly easy to disprove them and set the record straight. Not so on relationship topics, though. Everybody has their own theory on things and it's very difficult to prove right or wrong. I think psychology is more of an abstract "soft" science. If somebody is full of shit, short of doing an entire multi-post character limit hitting dissertation (which nobody would have the patience to read anyways), there's no real effective way to disprove them. Especially when the first two posts after your 30,000 word essay are "cliff notes please" or "yeah but I agree with him anyways because yadda yadda yadda (nonsense)".

This is a global problem on web forums now that I've noticed. Especially in the past 5 years things have really gone downhill without very good moderation on the sites. It used to be that you needed to be fairly intelligent and technically savvy to get on web forums back in the day, which more or less guaranteed a certain standard in post quality and intelligence. Nowadays anybody who checks out at Wal-Mart can get an AOL CD, pop it in their PC, and 5 minutes later they're online and an "instant expert" on anything and everything.

It's pretty sad...

BTW those comments aren't directed at any specific forum or specifically at the one you mentioned, but rather just forums in general. I'm always very skeptical and cautious when going online to get advice from random people. I try to avoid it if at all possible. I've come on this forum and yours as far as MBTI/socionics because I realized this stuff and figuring out my type was just not something I was going to be able to figure out on my own, and people here seemed pretty well-educated on the topic. :wink:

[Transigent]

Edited for gayness.

[Waddlesworth]

How many girls around you do you really see that are actually with the "alpha male"? And how many alpha males are there to go around anyway? most women and men(more like all) prefer monogomy, there are more women than men, so even if you aren't an alpha male your odds are pretty good. you do the math.

That stuff is sorta true in a sense that the best man gets the best girl, but why should the best settle for anything less than the best? I mean this in terms of attractiveness and talents.

Also, with socionics we know for a fact different types get along in different ways, so nomatter how great the guy thinks he is the girl isn't going to go for him if he is an asshole. unless she's insecure or really stupid.

And some people do settle for money and have very miserable relationships, but that's because both parties settled in some way or another. The girl obviously couldnt get a good looking guy with money, the guy obviously was too blind to see he was being used or is too much of a moron to go out and find the right woman for himself.

beggars can't be choosers. Sure, we all want the select filet in the meat market, but some meats mix better than others. Ever try mixing bologni and steak? yuck.

Most girls don't sleep around, and why would anyone want to settle down on the ones that do? all that stuff is based on insecurity and nothing more.

but you know all that. I just like talking about meat markets and morons and stuff.

[NeonMonk]

It's a forum full of insecure males. Goddamn there's some really misguided males on there:

The reality is that women are inferior, and that they don't have the physical, emotional, or intellectual strength that we do. It's frustrating then, if you come to depend on them.

These are the types of guys who think that a guy should be having sex with a different woman every day. But aren't even having sex once a month. They're insecure about their looks/personality/whatever so instead of actually dealing with that they cover it up with some fake arrogance.

Pretty abysmal if you ask me.

[stevENTj]

^^ oh my lord....

[Heimdallr]

Normally I won't even touch a forum like that while wearing rubber gloves...

I went and dug up an article by the famous guy Pook though. Looks better than most of the other trash there, of course it's only useful in a specific context.

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthr...threadid=17008

And regarding that superiority post, that particular mental illness seems to be affecting a lot of people today... The problem being that they do not realise that words like superior/inferior are without a meaning if not given a context that they work within. Yes men and women are different, which obviously leads to that men on the whole are better on some things. The problem is when you see this as a sign of absolute superiority. The only reasonable opinion here is different but equal, in the sense that both sides of the coin here are essential to the survival of the whole. The should however, not be seen as a justification for any form of behaviour.

[snowyc]

I stumbled upon this article from that site which I found very useful. I just felt like it was aimed at INTj's being the one's with this "Genius Failure Paradox".

After reading that article I thought to myself, I'll try something new online with a girl. I was my usual self except I concentrated heavily on flirtation and being honest about being a beginner with woman and we had a good conversation. I only touched on my interests enough for her to want to know more for next time plus I got her phone number, not bad at all I thought.

For once I actually small talked without appearing to be trying to figure her out as would normally be in my nature. Now it's at a stage where the balls in my court, I don't know her type for sure but frankly don't care.

I will always presume now that whether you like Astrology or Psychology you should meet someone for how you felt and then think about it for the fun of it. It makes sense because I met a married couple of 25yrs+ who had a duality relation and they obviously never met knowing eachother was a certain type, it was just a natural coincidence. When I come along later and figure out their likely types and relation and comment on how I observe they are good together, they find it reassuring.