One more round about Drama

[XoX]

What is the functional explanation for like or dislike of drama? Traditionally Beta's are seen dramatic but then e.g. ESTps here tend to say they don't like drama. Is drama Fe? Fe with Se? ENFps are also called dramatic by others but not by others.

Do you like or dislike drama and why? What's your type?

I have lately found that I like drama. It seems when I'm too long without any drama in my life I start to feel kind of dead inside. Even though every time the drama ends I feel kind of relieved, eventually too stable life starts to bore me. I am always like "wow, good its over! It was getting heavy!" but then soon "umm..isn't this kind of life boring? time goes by, death is drawing near and I'm just doing my daily routines...argh!". I have noticed that I tend to subconsciously create drama where any isn't and am kind of annoyed if someone tries to downplay it instead of playing along. Like at work we face some problem and I'm like "ZOMG! DAMN! OMG! DOOM!" there is always someone who tries to be all calm like "no need to worry. I'm sure it is easy to solve" which kind of puts me into "blah" mood. Some other people play along better like "YES WE NEED TO IMMEDIATELY FIGURE OUT A SOLUTION! ZOMG ZOMG!" which I like better. Then we can dive passionately into solving the problem.

How do you see this issue? I'm a bit bored right now which might show, heh.

[jessica129]

Life would be entirely too boring without drama. I love it, love creating it too. Keeps things interesting.

[Not A Communist Shill]

ESTps prolly see 'drama' as an unseen menace they can't come to grips with. They need their dual's own brand of drama, in a one-on-one relationship (i.e. a situation where the ESTp can see the boundaries). ESTps don't like you doing fancy shit, beyond their easy comprehension...INFps are suitably non-threatening, because they are not exactly masters of the 'real' world, so the ESTp can see what they are doing in practical terms (even if they can't understand their abstract world)...

or something...

[Blaze]

negative, angry, hysterical, out of control emotional drama may be what estp's (and others!) don't like.

[Creepy-bg]

negative, angry, hysterical, out of control emotional drama may be what estp's (and others!) don't like.

yeah I don't like that kind of drama either... but fake drama (to a point) is fun

[Animal]

I usually associate drama with ESFjs and ENTps. Make them stop.

[redbaron]

Do you like or dislike drama and why? What's your type?

I have lately found that I like drama. It seems when I'm too long without any drama in my life I start to feel kind of dead inside. Even though every time the drama ends I feel kind of relieved, eventually too stable life starts to bore me. I am always like "wow, good its over! It was getting heavy!" but then soon "umm..isn't this kind of life boring? time goes by, death is drawing near and I'm just doing my daily routines...argh!". I have noticed that I tend to subconsciously create drama where any isn't and am kind of annoyed if someone tries to downplay it instead of playing along. Like at work we face some problem and I'm like "ZOMG! DAMN! OMG! DOOM!" there is always someone who tries to be all calm like "no need to worry. I'm sure it is easy to solve" which kind of puts me into "blah" mood. Some other people play along better like "YES WE NEED TO IMMEDIATELY FIGURE OUT A SOLUTION! ZOMG ZOMG!" which I like better. Then we can dive passionately into solving the problem.

How do you see this issue? I'm a bit bored right now which might show, heh.

I'm very similar. When it's over, I'm relieved but then I get bored again. If I get too bored, I start creating imaginary scenarios in my head for things that might happen. Either bad or good but always dramatic. And like you, I prefer the dramatic approach to solving problems over the overly rational "we can fix this easily" approach.

[XoX]

negative, angry, hysterical, out of control emotional drama may be what estp's (and others!) don't like.

Well that doesn't sound all that appealing. How about if someone takes ordinary life situations and turns them into somewhat dramatic and bigger than life events? Is that appealing? Making simple things complex in a way.

[Creepy-bg]

negative, angry, hysterical, out of control emotional drama may be what estp's (and others!) don't like.

Well that doesn't sound all that appealing. How about if someone takes ordinary life situations and turns them into somewhat dramatic and bigger than life events? Is that appealing? Making simple things complex in a way.

as long as it's done jokingly it is (to me)

[FDG]

i have come to terms cannot really stand drama in relationships; i mean i start to lose grips with whatever matter im handling and i quickly lose my job, don't really do anything at school, etc etc...

[jessica129]

If there's no drama in a relationship, what is there? Maybe I have a warped sense of how relationships are meant to be.

[force my hand]

How do you see this issue? I'm a bit bored right now which might show, heh.

Drama between other people/groups of people is fun, hilarious, and interesting. If it involves me, however, then they just need to get over it.

If it involves some sort of -oriented situation or event, then everyone just needs to get over it. Nothing is so important that it can't sit for awhile, and that will usually yield a better solution. Getting all up in arms about something is a great way to make me not care about it.

[FDG]

If there's no drama in a relationship, what is there? Maybe I have a warped sense of how relationships are meant to be.

There is fun and laugther and sex and everything! I've had a one-year long relationship full of drama, and I have seen the difference between the way I was living during that period, and during a more "stable" one, and it was just so incredibly better in the stable one that even thinking about an highly dramatic relationship repels me. It's not a matter of rational choice. My bowels get knotted at thinking about something similar.

I mean arguments can have their positive effect but they are different from drama.

I fully agree with force my hand.

[olduser]

I don't live in the same world as other people. Drama doesn't really exist to me. I can usually interact with all my friends without this ever interfering. Last year my temporary girlfriend dumped me for a friend, and I was like, "whatever, she likes him more. I don't own her, and we owe eachother nothing." Damn people and their cares about other people. If I think I'm getting involved in drama I usually will disconnect from the situation completely. Dissappear or whatever. When drama starts that's when you know you've gotten too attached.

[FDG]

I don't live in the same world as other people. Drama doesn't really exist to me. I can usually interact with all my friends without this ever interfering. Last year my temporary girlfriend dumped me for a friend, and I was like, "whatever, she likes him more. I don't own her, and we owe eachother nothing." Damn people and their cares about other people. If I think I'm getting involved in drama I usually will disconnect from the situation completely. Dissappear or whatever. When drama starts that's when you know you've gotten too attached.

I wouldn't say "too" attached but more like, attached in the wrong way.

[olduser]

it's a good thing they seperated us shortly after our births then, isn't it?

[FDG]

it's a good thing they seperated us shortly after our births then, isn't it?

we were attached at heart

[UDP]

I agree with heath somewhat. Ultimately the only drama and pain is what you create.
Furthermore, I would never want to be in a relationship with someone who would rather be with someone else. The only thing I would be ultimately upset with is if I did not see it coming, or if I misjudged someone's potential too much. But that is more "on me" than on anyone else.

Currently I am enjoying collapsing drama people bring before me. Most things do not really matter that much anyways.

[implied]

anti-drama. what's worse is that i react very negatively when people try too hard to extract it from me, which in turn probably creates more drama.

Well that doesn't sound all that appealing. How about if someone takes ordinary life situations and turns them into somewhat dramatic and bigger than life events? Is that appealing? Making simple things complex in a way.

this is not appealing to me at all.

[Animal]

I don't like drama. It makes me seriously uncomfortable. Every time a situation gets blown out of proportion, I get throne in a frantic fit of trying to get through to people, and run around trying to get resolution to take place. And then I get sucked in and start yelling. When will I learn? Everythng just blows over and things return to normal again.

[KSpin]

I don't like drama. It makes me seriously uncomfortable. Every time a situation gets blown out of proportion, I get throne in a frantic fit of trying to get through to people, and run around trying to get resolution to take place. And then I get sucked in and start yelling. When will I learn? Everythng just blows over and things return to normal again.

Heh. I just walk away!

[XoX]

I don't like drama. It makes me seriously uncomfortable. Every time a situation gets blown out of proportion, I get throne in a frantic fit of trying to get through to people, and run around trying to get resolution to take place. And then I get sucked in and start yelling. When will I learn? Everythng just blows over and things return to normal again.

Heh. I just walk away!

GET BACK HERE RIGHT NOW!!!

[Megan]

anti-drama. what's worse is that i react very negatively when people try too hard to extract it from me, which in turn probably creates more drama.

I am the same way, particularly about where others try to extract the drama from me. I do not know how to handle that at all. Ignoring them often just causes such people to increase their efforts and engaging with them just makes things worst. Drama is needless, tiring and stressful in my opinion...especially tiring.

[KSpin]

I don't like drama. It makes me seriously uncomfortable. Every time a situation gets blown out of proportion, I get throne in a frantic fit of trying to get through to people, and run around trying to get resolution to take place. And then I get sucked in and start yelling. When will I learn? Everythng just blows over and things return to normal again.

Heh. I just walk away!

GET BACK HERE RIGHT NOW!!!

See ya.

[raisonpure]

Like at work we face some problem and I'm like "ZOMG! DAMN! OMG! DOOM!" there is always someone who tries to be all calm like "no need to worry. I'm sure it is easy to solve" which kind of puts me into "blah" mood. Some other people play along better like "YES WE NEED TO IMMEDIATELY FIGURE OUT A SOLUTION! ZOMG ZOMG!" which I like better. Then we can dive passionately into solving the problem.

I prefer people who go "YES WE NEED TO IMMEDIATELY FIGURE OUT A SOLUTION" over those who can't see that there is a problem and/or are just oblivious to the urgency.

I also prefer to seek out drama only in the form of Kdramas. Just being in a relationship with a drama queen is very draining. But I have to be wary of myself when everything remains the same for too long and I become restless... desperate for change or a tense situation. I start looking for people to kidnap, and if I fail to find an adventure buddy, I become self-destructive and create problems for myself by either doing too much or too little. Unintentional creation of drama, for me, often coincides with dual-seeking.

I've been known to write with no small amount of drama, though. I think it's due to perception coloured with

[XoX]

I don't like drama. It makes me seriously uncomfortable. Every time a situation gets blown out of proportion, I get throne in a frantic fit of trying to get through to people, and run around trying to get resolution to take place. And then I get sucked in and start yelling. When will I learn? Everythng just blows over and things return to normal again.

Heh. I just walk away!

GET BACK HERE RIGHT NOW!!!

See ya.

Edit:
Ok Fine! Do what you want! I don't care! I have other friends too! Better friends may I say! Friends who DON'T leave!

Edit II:
Hmm. I think I'm calm again. How delightful! Where were we...

[FDG]

anti-drama. what's worse is that i react very negatively when people try too hard to extract it from me, which in turn probably creates more drama.

I am the same way, particularly about where others try to extract the drama from me. I do not know how to handle that at all. Ignoring them often just causes such people to increase their efforts and engaging with them just makes things worst. Drama is needless, tiring and stressful in my opinion...especially tiring.

Tiring, exactly. Perhpas those people that say that they like drama have never been in a relationship with a BPD person? I would bet it'd be an awesome crash course to understand how drama sucks the life out of you

[Exodus]

I don't live in the same world as other people. Drama doesn't really exist to me. I can usually interact with all my friends without this ever interfering. Last year my temporary girlfriend dumped me for a friend, and I was like, "whatever, she likes him more. I don't own her, and we owe eachother nothing." Damn people and their cares about other people. If I think I'm getting involved in drama I usually will disconnect from the situation completely. Dissappear or whatever. When drama starts that's when you know you've gotten too attached.

I think I agree. It took me a day to get over my girlfriend breaking up with me, and I think it's for the best. (Then again I don't nor had I had any contact with her for a while, which made it easier.)

I'm guilty of "enjoying" a pure Fe drama (as long as I can understand/identify with what the drama is about).

Me too.

[jessica129]

anti-drama. what's worse is that i react very negatively when people try too hard to extract it from me, which in turn probably creates more drama.

I am the same way, particularly about where others try to extract the drama from me. I do not know how to handle that at all. Ignoring them often just causes such people to increase their efforts and engaging with them just makes things worst. Drama is needless, tiring and stressful in my opinion...especially tiring.

Tiring, exactly. Perhpas those people that say that they like drama have never been in a relationship with a BPD person? I would bet it'd be an awesome crash course to understand how drama sucks the life out of you

Aren't all females BPD though?



I kidd.....or not.

[rockclimber]

I find drama exhausting. I prefer to avoid it whenever possible.

[FDG]

anti-drama. what's worse is that i react very negatively when people try too hard to extract it from me, which in turn probably creates more drama.

I am the same way, particularly about where others try to extract the drama from me. I do not know how to handle that at all. Ignoring them often just causes such people to increase their efforts and engaging with them just makes things worst. Drama is needless, tiring and stressful in my opinion...especially tiring.

Tiring, exactly. Perhpas those people that say that they like drama have never been in a relationship with a BPD person? I would bet it'd be an awesome crash course to understand how drama sucks the life out of you

Aren't all females BPD though?



I kidd.....or not.

I have seen many girls not behaving in a BDP-like way; or, if you want, we can say that there are various degrees of the disorder.

[olduser]

it's a good thing they seperated us shortly after our births then, isn't it?

we were attached at heart

heh. Nah, you are right. I was being obstinate because I stated my opinion and you revised it. That's grounds to reveal the nature of our birth.

[XoX]

anti-drama. what's worse is that i react very negatively when people try too hard to extract it from me, which in turn probably creates more drama.

I am the same way, particularly about where others try to extract the drama from me. I do not know how to handle that at all. Ignoring them often just causes such people to increase their efforts and engaging with them just makes things worst. Drama is needless, tiring and stressful in my opinion...especially tiring.

Tiring, exactly. Perhpas those people that say that they like drama have never been in a relationship with a BPD person? I would bet it'd be an awesome crash course to understand how drama sucks the life out of you

Aren't all females BPD though?



I kidd.....or not.

I have seen many girls not behaving in a BDP-like way; or, if you want, we can say that there are various degrees of the disorder.

Well I guess my definition for drama is a little milder I think I faced this same problem when I talked with Clover about drama a while back. Her drama seemed a bit more than my drama I'm just talking about putting a little passion into everything you do. Even if the situation wouldn't naturally call for it. You know. Make reality to imitate movies a bit. In movies a trip to buy milk can be exciting. In real life it is not unless you are in the right company and having the right kind of mindset In real life when a server goes down it doesn't have to involve drama just a emotionless effort to quickly bring it back up ("business as usual" attitude) but it can also be seen as a rather dramatic event which needs instant passionate response or terrible things will happen, heh. Things like that. I'd like to have a consistent sense of passion and strong feelings inside of me. A sort of "living on the edge" feeling BUT a safe version of it when you are not actually on the edge but more like making it feel like you are. Dramatizing reality to make it seem like that. I like people who dramatize reality but still can keep things under control. They sort of create an alternative more dramatic reality but at the same time can separate that reality from the REAL reality. Or perhaps it is my job to make sure they don't get too absorbed into the fictional version It means my "drama" is just about big emotions and passionate attitude towards life but I can't sustain it unless environment provides me with some input.

One more example of how I could create some personal "drama" for myself: Sometimes there have been an important test in school where it is important that I don't fail. Let's say there are 10 questions but you only need to answer to 7 of them which you can pick yourself. Instead of doing the most rational thing and picking the 7 questions which are easy for me I could pick questions where I am unsure of the right approach and answer. It would give me a sense of battle and passion as I would create an "on the edge" experience for myself where I HAVE TO succeed and the odds are against me. I have to find an answer to those questions. There is no option. It fills me with passion and I approach the questions in quite an emotional state and "fight them". Then after I leave my test paper the emotional state stays inside me until I receive the results. Then I can feel a sense of victory or defeat depending on if I did manage to pull it off or not. Also it is a game with the teacher as they are often like "Why on earth did you choose those questions?? You just two weeks ago made a good presentation of one of the subjects so why didn't you answer THAT question at all?". My relationship with my teachers have always been full such minor and puzzling tensions.

So I have this need to dramatize reality but still do it in a way where failure does not have CATASTROPHIC consequences only a temporary setback. I relate to enneagram 6 after all which makes me a bit cautious in some ways. I guess it is making life a sort of video game. It is not the most effective way to do things but I have so far managed to pull it off and it makes life more interesting. Now when older I am becoming more conservative and "playing it safe" which I regret a bit but age makes you more conservative and you are more responsible about other people too and not just about yourself so it is a bit different. I don't want to turn other people's lives into a video game unless they yearn for it However I can see how a person who is dramatic could make me behave differently. Currently my family environment is pretty drama-free and has been for quite a while. My wife is anti-drama. Even if it secretly amuses and puzzles her in the end it makes her unhappy and thus me unhappy too.

[FDG]

Ahhh NOW I understand! I agree completely then, it's very fun to do! Or if there are various tests available and the admission to an important school depends on that, I choose purposefully the most difficult one and I go there not very well prepared just to feel more tense and make everything more dangerous and interesting. Of course my teachers always hated me when I pulled off a purposeful string of Fs in order to then be motivated to pull a string of As

The drama I was speaking about involved:
- changing minds about the nature of a relationship every day, from complete devotion to total hatred
- phone calls in the middle of the night with death threats
- stalking
- menacing to call the police
- suicide threats

I have come to realize recently that this has made me intolerant of any uncertainity in relationship matters, probaby i've been burnt out

If I understand what you mean by your wife - connecting it with the experiences I've had with other girls - probably she enjoys drama after it has ended but not while it's been developed. Personally I think that this is the function in a relationship of quarrels over stupid things. I think that couples can freely have mini quarrels over which ice cream is the best and even make a enormously big argument out of it, provided that it leads nowhere!

[XoX]

The drama I was speaking about involved:
- changing minds about the nature of a relationship every day, from complete devotion to total hatred
- phone calls in the middle of the night with death threats
- stalking
- menacing to call the police
- suicide threats

Well that's something else. I've never experienced that. I'd think I'd be quite well resistant to suicide threats and that kind of ultimatums. That kind of things rarely have the wanted effect on me. But things like calling police or otherwise pulling other people into the equation and changing mind about the nature of the relationship all the time sounds bad. Death threats would be bad too if I'd evaluate them to be real and not just air blowing or attention seeking behavior.

I don't think our positions differ much except you are perhaps more of a risk taker than I am.

Then I can't stop liking raisonpure's posts jess also seems to have some nice attitude there.

Edit:
I checked the thread through again and I apologize for forgetting to mention red, bionic and carla You are are on dark side too Although bionic always keeps at least one toe at the other side of the fence just in case...

[FDG]

The drama I was speaking about involved:
- changing minds about the nature of a relationship every day, from complete devotion to total hatred
- phone calls in the middle of the night with death threats
- stalking
- menacing to call the police
- suicide threats

Well that's something else. I've never experienced that. I'd think I'd be quite well resistant to suicide threats and that kind of ultimatums. That kind of things rarely have the wanted effect on me.

They didn't have a strong emotional effect on me, but I had to take action in order to prevent its happening, do you understand? It's a lot of time that has to be thrown, time that, in an healthy relationship, could have been used to make love, travel toghether, learn new things - that's what I mean.

But things like calling police or otherwise pulling other people into the equation and changing mind about the nature of the relationship all the time sounds bad. Death threats would be bad too if I'd evaluate them to be real and not just air blowing or attention seeking behavior.

They were bad because I still live with my parents, and so I had to explain to them the situation, and I hate to involve anybody in personal relationship matters.

[Blaze]

well, crime and drama are like 2 different things, no?

when i think of drama, it's like emotional drama. i don't mind watching it, but don't like to be in the middle of it.

[Creepy-Diana]

.

[FDG]

The drama I was speaking about involved:
- changing minds about the nature of a relationship every day, from complete devotion to total hatred
- phone calls in the middle of the night with death threats
- stalking
- menacing to call the police
- suicide threats

I have come to realize recently that this has made me intolerant of any uncertainity in relationship matters, probaby i've been burnt out

whoa, that's pretty crazy stuff. Makes my occasional bouts of insecurity or mushiness seem downright adorable.

This is the good side: any problem/little argument I've had with girls after that, seems to be something incredibly minor and laughable

[UDP]

well, crime and drama are like 2 different things, no?

when i think of drama, it's like emotional drama. i don't mind watching it, but don't like to be in the middle of it.

Perhaps they should not be.