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Thread: Personal Growth for EIIs-INFjs: achieving your maximum potential

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    Default Personal Growth for EIIs-INFjs: achieving your maximum potential

    INFj's - What exactly do you strive to be? How can you derive maximum potential from your life abilities? When is it that you are your at your happiest? What actions are typical of a healthy and well rounded INFj?
    ENFp (Unsure of Subtype)

    "And the day came when the risk it took to remain closed in a bud became more painful than the risk it took to blossom." - Ana´s Nin

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    I strive to lead a relatively stable and purposeful life with occasional surprises to keep things interesting. Whenever I'm considering a decision to make, I would consider how my decision would fit into my grand plan, even though I don't exactly have a detailed plan in mind. Therefore, I'm happiest when I make a good decision which in turn benefitted me by leading me to greater opportunities in life, and when others recognize the tremendous efforts I had put into a specific task that I'm deeply passionate about.

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    I'm happiest when my days stay on schedule, I can get outside regularly, I do well in school, those I care about are happy, and when I meet the expectations of others. I need stability to be happy.

    I strive to be... perfect. I try never to say anything that will offend or hurt others. I am very mindful of my decisions and always think of how they will impact others. I strive to be the person others can turn to when they need help, advice, or just someone to vent to; I never turn people away, even if I don't consider them someone I'm close to. I strive to be organized. Being healthy is very important to me. I strive to be a good student, big sister, coworker, and friend. Very rarely do I forget birthdays or anniversaries, and I always at the very least send a card (though a cake and/or gift + card is the norm). I also bake for my friends, coworkers, and siblings on a fairly regular basis when it gets cooler. uh... where was I? Oh yes, I strive to modest. Ah, how could I forget, I strive to be a good rock climber (good as in meeting my own expectations while still enjoying myself). I strive to always be calm and composed. I strive to be well informed on current events, local, national, and international. I strive to always be honest. Yeah... kind, caring, composed, educated, firm morals, good health, athletic, outdoorsy... I try to be perfect.
    EII

    I'll tell you what
    there is plenty wrong with me
    but I fixed up a few old buildings
    and I've planted a few trees.

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    Thanks Girls. I have an INFj friend who gets upset that people never call him. He also thinks people dont care about him. Just trying to get insight into it
    ENFp (Unsure of Subtype)

    "And the day came when the risk it took to remain closed in a bud became more painful than the risk it took to blossom." - Ana´s Nin

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    Quote Originally Posted by meatburger
    Thanks Girls. I have an INFj friend who gets upset that people never call him. He also thinks people dont care about him. Just trying to get insight into it
    I used to feel this way sometimes. Perhaps your friend could make the first move and reach out to others since some people are generally passive in nature. He probably needs to socialize more and meet more people as well instead of waiting for others to approach him. Join clubs/societies in college, a sports team, attend social functions etc. so that people can notice him and keep him in mind.

    Due to , INFjs might appear reserved and sometimes serious, therefore others might not be able to know them well during their first few meetings and thought that they are prudes who don't know how to have fun. Maybe he could keep a blog and share his feelings and experiences in it. Others can't appreciate how deep and interesting an INFj is, until he writes his thoughts down. People will get to know him better this way.

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    I don't like calling people and I would never start a blog to share my feelings.

    I also think very few (if any) people care about me... maybe it's an EII thing(?)
    EII

    I'll tell you what
    there is plenty wrong with me
    but I fixed up a few old buildings
    and I've planted a few trees.

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    RC...

    Quote Originally Posted by UDP
    You may have read this in profiles, but it is very true about INTjs, so I will promote some props for my ilk: if you appreciate them as friends, then it is very likely they appreciate you as friends as well. It is unlike an INTj to maintain relations with someone who is of no use to him or someone he does not derive utility from, so rest assured that you are a worthy person, and that they value you as well. For all our inability to actually judge relationships, we can tell how much effort and whether or not what we do will increase or decrease a relationship, so if we are acting in ways that you appreciate, that means we think you are important enough to care how we act towards you.

    I know that is very technical sounding, but that is really how I interpret things. And the main point was, for an INTj to even spend time with someone is often a lot, and few people really understand this. So for an INTj to be decent friends with you, that means you are important to them as described above, and yes, commitment is a big part of that.
    http://the16types.info/forums/viewto...=224842#224842

    I also think very few (if any) people care about me... maybe it's an EII thing(?)
    You (ought to) know that I care about you, and your well being. My relationships with people I take extremely seriously. So that "if any" bit is not applicable in the least. I value your friendship a great deal.


    As for that being an "EII thing", I hope not. Perhaps it is hidden agenda or a manifestation of it, or related to porl.
    Pre-2013 post are written with incomplete understanding.

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    alright, I retract the "(if any)" bit.
    EII

    I'll tell you what
    there is plenty wrong with me
    but I fixed up a few old buildings
    and I've planted a few trees.

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    Good.
    Pre-2013 post are written with incomplete understanding.

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    INFj's can stand under my umberella
    ENFp (Unsure of Subtype)

    "And the day came when the risk it took to remain closed in a bud became more painful than the risk it took to blossom." - Ana´s Nin

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    Quote Originally Posted by meatburger
    INFj's can stand under my umberella
    I really need to stop reading these delta threads... *goes off the find a drink of water to wash away the sickly sweet *


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    Quote Originally Posted by Bionicgoat
    Quote Originally Posted by meatburger
    INFj's can stand under my umberella
    I really need to stop reading these delta threads... *goes off the find a drink of water to wash away the sickly sweet *

    *Caresses Bionic goat Gently*

    Sometimes ya know i just like to be a really nice delta see whats its like :wink:
    ENFp (Unsure of Subtype)

    "And the day came when the risk it took to remain closed in a bud became more painful than the risk it took to blossom." - Ana´s Nin

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    ENFp (Unsure of Subtype)

    "And the day came when the risk it took to remain closed in a bud became more painful than the risk it took to blossom." - Ana´s Nin

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    Quote Originally Posted by meatburger
    I must free my brethren. *heads off with all the change in the house*

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    Quote Originally Posted by Bionicgoat
    Quote Originally Posted by meatburger
    I must free my brethren. *heads off with all the change in the house*
    Somehow I can only see there being 1, maybe 2 goats per machine. Do you reckon they'd be a big hit out in Afghanistan?
    INTP/ILI(Ni) /5w4

    "When my time comes, forget the wrong that I've done.
    Help me leave behind some reasons to be missed."

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    shhh or the Delta's will spank us for hijackery

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    Quote Originally Posted by Bionicgoat
    shhh or the Delta's will spank us for hijackery
    Does the perfect INFj love to spank?
    INTP/ILI(Ni) /5w4

    "When my time comes, forget the wrong that I've done.
    Help me leave behind some reasons to be missed."

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    Be spanked, apparently...
    Pre-2013 post are written with incomplete understanding.

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    Quote Originally Posted by UDP III
    Be spanked, apparently...
    C'mon UDPIII you know its LII that have that 'spank me with a hair brush' fetish.

    In other parts of the world: My neigbors just brought in a pair of goats yesterday to chew down the grass in their backyard. So far they dont get along with the dog. This ought to be interesting.

    INFJs, I dont envy them. I like them but I dont envy them. I thought my concscience was strong but theirs can be unrelenting.

    Topaz
    The artifact which is the source of my power will not be kept on the Mountain of Despair beyond the River of Fire guarded by the Dragons of Eternity. It will be in my safe-deposit box. The same applies to the object which is my one weakness.

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    Quote Originally Posted by UDP III
    Be spanked, apparently...
    *nods*
    EII

    I'll tell you what
    there is plenty wrong with me
    but I fixed up a few old buildings
    and I've planted a few trees.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Topaz
    Quote Originally Posted by UDP III
    Be spanked, apparently...
    C'mon UDPIII you know its LII that have that 'spank me with a hair brush' fetish.

    ...


    INFJs, I dont envy them. I like them but I dont envy them. I thought my concscience was strong but theirs can be unrelenting.
    I imagine most NFs like a good spanking. We already know ENFjs enjoy being pushed up against a wall, why not the same for INFjs?

    What is so bad about an unrelenting conscience? That is why I like INFjs, usually.
    Pre-2013 post are written with incomplete understanding.

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    Quote Originally Posted by UDP III
    Quote Originally Posted by Topaz
    Quote Originally Posted by UDP III
    Be spanked, apparently...
    C'mon UDPIII you know its LII that have that 'spank me with a hair brush' fetish.

    ...


    INFJs, I dont envy them. I like them but I dont envy them. I thought my concscience was strong but theirs can be unrelenting.
    I imagine most NFs like a good spanking. We already know ENFjs enjoy being pushed up against a wall, why not the same for INFjs?
    Because Beta NFs like the physical pressure and pushyness of Delta likes .

    What is so bad about an unrelenting conscience? That is why I like INFjs, usually.
    Its not easy being a perfectionist. It can drive you mad.

    Topaz
    The artifact which is the source of my power will not be kept on the Mountain of Despair beyond the River of Fire guarded by the Dragons of Eternity. It will be in my safe-deposit box. The same applies to the object which is my one weakness.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Topaz
    What is so bad about an unrelenting conscience? That is why I like INFjs, usually.
    Its not easy being a perfectionist. It can drive you mad.
    Not if you know what you are doing.
    Quote Originally Posted by Rogers
    "You gotta know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em....."
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kn481KcjvMo
    What else is there really to do, anyway?
    Pre-2013 post are written with incomplete understanding.

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    Default INFj Personal Growth

    I can't find such a thread under Delta Quadra, so I thought I might as well start one.

    I'm not sure if it is prevalent among other INFjs, but I generally don't adapt well to changes and worry unnecessarily. For instance, I realize that I couldn't adjust well to the transition between graduating from school and working full-time, and the future suddenly look uncertain (I'm currently looking around for a suitable job) and I'm not sure of myself anymore. I don't like to wait, and the gap between graduating and getting a suitable job is driving me crazy.

    Moreover, I always hesitate in grabbing hold of opportunities and tend to be skeptical of them. I can't just let go of myself and experience something as it is. I need to understand something fully before I jump into it and I wish that I could be more enthusiastic instead of always considering how doing something would benefit me in the long term. My skepticism even extends to people and I always try to analyze their rationale and motivation behind their actions rather than fully accept that they are just been genuine.

    Thanks for reading my ramblings. I guess I will stop here for now.

    I wonder how do other INFjs overcome such problems if they ever faced them.

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    Default Re: INFj Personal Growth

    Quote Originally Posted by eunice
    I can't find such a thread under Delta Quadra, so I thought I might as well start one.

    I'm not sure if it is prevalent among other INFjs, but I generally don't adapt well to changes and worry unnecessarily. For instance, I realize that I couldn't adjust well to the transition between graduating from school and working full-time, and the future suddenly look uncertain (I'm currently looking around for a suitable job) and I'm not sure of myself anymore. I don't like to wait, and the gap between graduating and getting a suitable job is driving me crazy.

    Moreover, I always hesitate in grabbing hold of opportunities and tend to be skeptical of them. I can't just let go of myself and experience something as it is. I need to understand something fully before I jump into it and I wish that I could be more enthusiastic instead of always considering how doing something would benefit me in the long term. My skepticism even extends to people and I always try to analyze their rationale and motivation behind their actions rather than fully accept that they are just been genuine.

    Thanks for reading my ramblings. I guess I will stop here for now.

    I wonder how do other INFjs overcome such problems if they ever faced them.
    Accept change for the amazing thing it is. Doing the same old thing is comforting and safe, yet you learn most when things are changing. Be kind and help others, and your problems will melt away. We all have plenty of time to stop change when were dead. The more that change occurs in your life, the more adaptable you become. The world is your oyster Eunice.
    ENFp (Unsure of Subtype)

    "And the day came when the risk it took to remain closed in a bud became more painful than the risk it took to blossom." - Ana´s Nin

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    I need to understand something fully before I jump into it and I wish that I could be more enthusiastic instead of always considering how doing something would benefit me in the long term.
    This is not a problem. Countless "S" types are miserably incompetent at this. Allow yourself to help others with this trait.
    Pre-2013 post are written with incomplete understanding.

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    Thanks guys. I guess it is frustrating to realize that there seems to be no purpose in my life at the moment because some things can be out of my control. I need to get used to the fact that anything is possible, and try not to expect too much that things will go exactly how I planned and expected them to be. Dang, I hate surprises 'cos I usually don't know how to react to them.

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    My INFj friend has been suprising me lately. A lot of his life has been falling into place and its amazing the difference its making on him. The other day we were playing pool and we walked past mini golf and he wanted to do it. I was like um what the.. ok. Anyway turned out to be a hillarous game we broke every rule. I cracked the ball of a wall, it hit the top of a waterslide, rolled off a windmill roof and landed near the hole. I felt like a white tiger woods
    ENFp (Unsure of Subtype)

    "And the day came when the risk it took to remain closed in a bud became more painful than the risk it took to blossom." - Ana´s Nin

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    the world is your oyster....there's no better time in life, at least for an Ne dominant.

    once you start working, the marriage, house, and kids often follow, and bam the man has control of you. altho these can be wonderful things they're not always what they're cracked up to be.

    what's wrong with slacking for awhile? you'll never get another opporunity to slack again, and i'm really not trying to be funny.

    ILE

    those who are easily shocked.....should be shocked more often

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    Quote Originally Posted by diamond8
    and bam the man has control of you
    Or the woman

    Quote Originally Posted by diamond8
    the world is your oyster
    Quote Originally Posted by meatburger
    The world is your oyster
    Yea! Ne + Oysters for the win
    ENFp (Unsure of Subtype)

    "And the day came when the risk it took to remain closed in a bud became more painful than the risk it took to blossom." - Ana´s Nin

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    Quote Originally Posted by meatburger
    Quote Originally Posted by diamond8
    and bam the man has control of you
    Or the woman

    Quote Originally Posted by diamond8
    the world is your oyster
    Quote Originally Posted by meatburger
    The world is your oyster
    Yea! Ne + Oysters for the win
    lol, i meant "the man" in the sense of the establishment, but yeah.

    ILE

    those who are easily shocked.....should be shocked more often

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    Quote Originally Posted by diamond8
    Quote Originally Posted by meatburger
    Quote Originally Posted by diamond8
    and bam the man has control of you
    Or the woman

    Quote Originally Posted by diamond8
    the world is your oyster
    Quote Originally Posted by meatburger
    The world is your oyster
    Yea! Ne + Oysters for the win
    lol, i meant "the man" in the sense of the establishment, but yeah.
    haha. I know
    ENFp (Unsure of Subtype)

    "And the day came when the risk it took to remain closed in a bud became more painful than the risk it took to blossom." - Ana´s Nin

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    Quote Originally Posted by meatburger
    Quote Originally Posted by diamond8
    Quote Originally Posted by meatburger
    Quote Originally Posted by diamond8
    and bam the man has control of you
    Or the woman

    Quote Originally Posted by diamond8
    the world is your oyster
    Quote Originally Posted by meatburger
    The world is your oyster
    Yea! Ne + Oysters for the win
    lol, i meant "the man" in the sense of the establishment, but yeah.
    haha. I know
    great minds think alike i guess :wink:

    ILE

    those who are easily shocked.....should be shocked more often

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    What exactly do I strive to be? I strive to be comfortable with a deep-seated joy. I want to be like a river.

    How can I derive maximum potential from my life abilities? I don't know. I'm only recently starting to discover my life abilities, and I don't know how high I can go just yet.

    When am I at my happiest? When I have created something beautiful...whether it be a great song or a new, more joyful perspective for someone. I am at my happiest when I feel love.

    A Healthy and Well-Rounded INFj? I don't know what that would look like. I have never really known any other INFjs. I don't have any to model after. I don't know how I'll be when I'm healthy and well-rounded. I know how I'll feel, but not how I'd act. I don't really envision specifics like that.

    I'm not driven, I'm not accomplished, I'm actually pretty lazy. I'm not there when people call....I usually try very hard not to answer the phone. If someone needs someone to talk to, sure I'll listen. I don't see myself as reliable because I'm so lazy. Okay, maybe I'm not lazy, I just don't care about some of the things other people care about (weak Se probably, as the people who call me lazy all have strong Se). I am a perfectionist, but I'm also pretty optimistic, and I know things will turn out somehow. I'm a perfectionist but by no one's standards but my own, and I don't impose my standards on most others. I say "most" because sometimes I get into arguments with loved ones and then my judgments may come out. But most of the time I am quiet and accommodating. And I can also be kind of weird, but harmlessly so. I am a big-time advocate of others, so I suppose I'd feel most accomplished and happy if I could be in some kind of fulfilling advocacy role. That doesn't have to be a career, it could be for my husband, my children, whomever.
    EII
    4w5, sp/sx

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