ENTp's getting attached

[eliphalet]

Lalala.

[Creepy-bg]

Lately, and I know I should have realized this sooner, I've decided that it's about time I stop stressing myself out about him and his problems. There's about 1 week of school left, I'm not sure if I should tell him that I don't want to speak to him after highschool, which will cause an argument that he'll most likely win, or just let it drift and avoid him after highschool. I really don't want to let go, but I guess I have to sooner or later.

personally I'd just let it drift (unless he won't "just drift")... sounds like you're letting his indecisiveness ruin you're party. Don't... move on the better things and people who are sure they want you.

[Blaze]

i wouldn't say that was typical entp behavior. but you never know.

i would not waste one more second on this guy, who, if he is an entp, has a long way to go to becoming a good boyfriend.

[eliphalet]

Lalala.

[Creepy-bg]

it's orobably best for both of you to end it. You'll be able to get over the thinking about it part and he'll learn a good life lesson about relationships and dedication and all that. After a bit maybe you'll even be able to renew a friendship with him if you want.

(just so you know I'm no expert in relationship matters by far )

[jelly grass]

are you over him? or do you still like him?
if youre over him, i think you should keep him as a friend (since you care about him and hes fun to be around)...but tell him that that's the only kind of relationship you want with him.

[eliphalet]

Lalala.

[Creepy-bg]

rough... the situation sucks

[Not A Communist Shill]

It seems really weird that he would pursue you for so long, even when there wasn't much prospect of you being anything other than friends - I think for that reason, it would be good to keep him as an acquaintance. I don't know how that much that would cost you emotionally, but perhaps 10 years down the line, you may miss his little 'quirks' - maybe.

For me personally, I hold my own enemies in higher regard than people I don't know, which might sound weird - I have a feeling of a shared history . To forgive someone who has done bad things to you in the past, or to merely allow them in your presence is quite a grand gesture and speaks volumes - to continue to treat them as your adversary only causes the person to resent being there, and does not make them see the error of their ways - they'll continue as before. To give them the opportunity to act differently than in the past means they may become a better friend than someone who doesn't know your past, if that makes sense.

If you standby while his life is in apparent disarray things *may* change for the better - I don't think they are likely to get worse - I don't think he thinks you're a 'silly' person, although he has lied to you - it may be that he has trouble speaking openly about himself and finds you appealing because your a reflection of him, and you yourself may feel that your inner thoughts can't be taken seriously either *shrug* - maybe a bit too much wishful thinking there...but I'm surprised how quickly relationships can change for the better by taking the step of making your thoughts on the 'relationship' potential + your private fears + concern of the type of person he is, and how he is acted...its always possible it could deteriate, but it sounds your relationship is in the balance already - at a point of no return...so...

(I could just be talking rubbish).

[Jimbean]

I can imagine the best thing to do is tell him how you feel about him (from what you think you should). Tell him and make it clear to him that you just want to be friends with him, and then start being honest with him after that. For example, tell him how your sister feels about him.

I am no expert, but it sounds like he needs to wake up to reality, and if he is your friend, then you would help him do that.

Then again you might be better off not listening to us and come up with something on your own, that has always worked for me.

[Ms. Kensington]

i don't think you guys can be just friends either until he is more mature or if you don't think it's odd if friends do the things you say you do with him.

I have seen the behavior before. What i've always thought is that it's not really a matter of real feelings or being manipulative, I think many times that their emotional state is volatile and has all of the quirks that come with that.

[Creepy-bg]

i don't think you guys can be just friends either until he is more mature or if you don't think it's odd if friends do the things you say you do with him.

I have seen the behavior before. What i've always thought is that it's not really a matter of real feelings or being manipulative, I think many times that their emotional state is volatile and has all of the quirks that come with that.

ditto... give it a year or two though and you could end up with a really good fuckbuddy. Deffinately needs a break to be taken though for both of you to regroup and reform your feelings into something a little more managable.

[eliphalet]

Lalala.

[Blaze]

fwiw i don't think you can ever really be friends with an ex. friendly, yes; friends, no. i stand by my original (unpopular) advice.

say, NEXT!!! lol

[Ms. Kensington]

lol

lol

also i think what I said still applies. I don't think asking if he wants to be friends will change his maturity level or whether you're ok with the way the friendship is now. However letting someone know what you're going to do is not a bad idea most of the time. But I'm INTj.

[idealistichick]

hey "eliphalet" who i dont know ...anyway yeah its better just to let go of him like i did with u know who...Hey she'll offer him some "super" fun...weehee...

[Creepy-Diana]

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[Expat]

By letting it drift, and then slowly avoiding him more and more, he will start to ask why I'm doing what I'm doing, and eventually I'll have to tell him to just go away, as anything I say he'll try to rationalize.

I sometimes feel like I might as well keep him around, as he's pretty fun as a friend, and let him leave whenever he will. But then I sometimes start to think about our relationship, and I just can't relax.

Suggestions anyone?

Come on. He lies even when he doesn't "have" to lie. He doesn't think there is anything to it. Is that what you want?

[Gilly]

If you're suspiscious enough of him to think that he might fake cry just to get you back, then it's probably not going to work out either way.

[eliphalet]

Lalala.

[meatburger]

Ah, thanks guys. I didn't expect so much response.

I won't confront him, but I'll try to stay away from anything that upsets me. I refused to go to the mall with him after school today, he called me a jerk because he's trying to hang out with me and I'm not letting him... After he went to the mall with the ESFp yesterday . He's more upset that he had to go to his job interview alone, than me not going. And because she's probably hanging with another guy friend. Bitterness everywhere

Anyway, I'll have an excuse to not see him everyday anymore, cause of college yey. I hope I meet my dual...

Good for you. I say compartmenatlise him then disband him

[idealistichick]

Ah, thanks guys. I didn't expect so much response.

I won't confront him, but I'll try to stay away from anything that upsets me. I refused to go to the mall with him after school today, he called me a jerk because he's trying to hang out with me and I'm not letting him... After he went to the mall with the ESFp yesterday . He's more upset that he had to go to his job interview alone, than me not going. And because she's probably hanging with another guy friend. Bitterness everywhere

Anyway, I'll have an excuse to not see him everyday anymore, cause of college yey. I hope I meet my dual...

listen chick u know that ur not gonna let go just like i never do
remember "super" cough cough

[Blaze]

Ah, thanks guys. I didn't expect so much response.

I won't confront him, but I'll try to stay away from anything that upsets me. I refused to go to the mall with him after school today, he called me a jerk because he's trying to hang out with me and I'm not letting him... After he went to the mall with the ESFp yesterday . He's more upset that he had to go to his job interview alone, than me not going. And because she's probably hanging with another guy friend. Bitterness everywhere

Anyway, I'll have an excuse to not see him everyday anymore, cause of college yey. I hope I meet my dual...

listen chick u know that ur not gonna let go just like i never do
remember "super" cough cough

hahahaha that's funny. true, but funny.

when you're ready to let him go, you'll let him go.

just remember, there's a thousand guys out there perfect for you. "NEXT!!!"

[Suomea]

How can you tell if an ENTp genuinely cares about you or just keeps you around out of lonliness and attachments?

If he cries in front of you about you then it probably means he cares about you.....a lot. If he's crying about some other topic then they can be unrelated. To be honest I would be straight up with him...... more so than you ever have in the past. Maybe in an email.... and give him an ultimatum. Make him choose and stick to his choice. This will make him think very deeply about the subject and make a decision on it. I think all the hanging out with the ESFp was just to make you jealous....... which I guess didn't work.

THE WORST POSSIBLE THING YOU COULD DO WOULD BE TO IGNORE HIM!!!!! If you care about him at all do not do this.

[Blaze]

How can you tell if an ENTp genuinely cares about you or just keeps you around out of lonliness and attachments?

If he cries in front of you about you then it probably means he cares about you.....a lot. If he's crying about some other topic then they can be unrelated. To be honest I would be straight up with him...... more so than you ever have in the past. Maybe in an email.... and give him an ultimatum. Make him choose and stick to his choice. This will make him think very deeply about the subject and make a decision on it. I think all the hanging out with the ESFp was just to make you jealous....... which I guess didn't work.

THE WORST POSSIBLE THING YOU COULD DO WOULD BE TO IGNORE HIM!!!!! If you care about him at all do not do this.

yeah you've got to get his attention. shake things up a bit. be really like hello?? we need to talk?? hehehe

[eliphalet]

Lalala.

[Gilly]

Wow, that is shockingly shortsighted reasoning. If this guy is bawling his eyes out over you, and you don't even know whether or not you still like him enough to be with him, there is absolutely no chance of this relationship working out for the best of both of you in the long run.

[Creepy-Diana]

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[Suomea]

I might have missed something somewhere, but when did you say he lied? I think I just read over it too fast or something.....

[cracka]

I might have missed something somewhere, but when did you say he lied? I think I just read over it too fast or something.....

he's a guy, that's just understood when it comes to women... :wink:

[Creepy-bg]

I might have missed something somewhere, but when did you say he lied? I think I just read over it too fast or something.....

he's a guy, that's just understood when it comes to women... :wink:

lol that's not what my third leg said :wink:

[Creepy-Diana]

.

[Creepy-bg]

I might have missed something somewhere, but when did you say he lied? I think I just read over it too fast or something.....

She said that he used her cellphone to call other girls, then erased the numbers and told her he called his mom.

not just that... was calling her sister

[cracka]

waaaay too much drama in that relationship to even think about keeping it going. Next.