Post your stories, observations, and experiences with SEEs-ESFps

[astralsilky]

Please post your experiences with ESFp/SEE's.

[BLauritson]

ESFp experiences? Hmm.. I spend half my waking life in the company of one and yet I can hardly think of any. I know it's not much, but I remember once when I was out drinking with a couple of ESFps and an ENFp, one of them (she was a little bit drunk at the time) linked arms with me and started skipping down the road. I'm not sure if that really counts though, since it was alcohol-influenced.. eh, I don't know. Apologies if this isn't what you had in mind.

[Jarno]

i've had some experiences with SEE, but could you specify a bit more which experiences you mean.

friends, family, bypasser, romantically, colleague?

[drd252]

ESFp experiences? Hmm.. I spend half my waking life in the company of one and yet I can hardly think of any. I know it's not much, but I remember once when I was out drinking with a couple of ESFps and an ENFp, one of them (she was a little bit drunk at the time) linked arms with me and started skipping down the road. I'm not sure if that really counts though, since it was alcohol-influenced.. eh, I don't know. Apologies if this isn't what you had in mind.

That counts, I've done the exact same thing with an SEE while totally sober.

[BLauritson]

That counts, I've done the exact same thing with an SEE while totally sober.

Who, you or the ESFp? Or both?

FWIW, I was sober at the time as I don't drink alcohol.

[Jarno]

i've got one colleague, that acts like she's playing a role constantly.
when she enters our office, it's like some magical fairy comes floating in the room. at least that's what her mind is pretending probably.

[KSpin]

Oh, and "SEEs" wouldn't have an apostrophe after the last E. ;-)

[ScarlettLux]

Well, one of my best friends is an SEE. We are very close and even call eachother sisters, basically. We have a ton of fun together, she is one of the most unpretentious people I have ever met. She'll talk to anyone and everyone kindly and playfully, making them feel welcome and comfortable with her SeFi. Very sweet girl. Even when we don't talk so much over some time, when we *do* see eachother, it is like no time passed and we speak on and on about everything.

She just seems to always be happy and enjoying life, takes things easily and breezily.. hmm.. but she does have intense underlying emotions. She is very devoted to her boyfriend of a year! It is her first boyfriend.. Aww.. but yeah, it's weird.. she'll never let go of something she has for a long time. She used to have an obsession with Harry Potter and still has.. a shrine.. to the whole series.. lmfao. I bet it's some sort of strange manifestation of NiFe since she adores all that magical stuff in the book. Pretty adorable, she is.

[UDP]

I have one SEE friend who is loyal, but it seems more conditional than anything else (remember I am her conflictor). We still keep in touch, and we can basically talk about anything, though usually it turns to people and relationships (SF). She is always asking to see me and keep up with our relationship. My problem with her is that her desire to see me is irrational, and as soon as we are not doing something interesting, or someone else interesting comes along, she is fascinated with that. I am not an IP, I am an IJ, so there is some conflict. I imagine she sees me as too rigid and not flexible enough to understand her.

But all that being said we get along well.

[Suomea]

Fun as hell...... some of my best times are with my male ESFp friends. They do lie however like it's their job and I never believe a word they say because they'll believe a lie wholeheartedly. Always surprise me when they say they hate something.....like Canada, or France, or their wife because it's normally based on nothing.

ESFp girls are fun...... kinda take them with a grain of salt though. Even when they are flashing me.

[Exodus]

I'm at an ESFp's party, and he offers to play me in Guitar Hero (he's way more experienced than I). We play Freebird in the mode that requires both people to be on the same difficulty level. Before I have a chance to say anything, he selects Hard mode. So I fail miserably, and don't have much fun. Me: "You just did that to show off." Him: "I never said that wasn't the case."

[Blaze]

i have two esfp friends. we have a lot of fun together and we talk a lot about men and our lives. i don't feel that close to them, though, they're more like fun, do-some-stuff-together type of friends. their Se is kind of dominating esp the one friend, kinda like it's hard to get a word in edgewise. the other friend listens better. they give pretty good advice i'd have to say. they're constantly working their relationships - this is kind of fun to watch, too.

summary: fun people who know how to get stuff done, but something gets in the way of being truly close to them.

[Jarno]

....but something gets in the way of being truly close to them.

yes they are sometimes a bit superficial and try to be just friends. they don't deepen things out, probably because they quickly want to experience something new.

[astralsilky]

i've had some experiences with SEE, but could you specify a bit more which experiences you mean.

friends, family, bypasser, romantically, colleague?

Any.

[liveandletlive]

....but something gets in the way of being truly close to them.

yes they are sometimes a bit superficial and try to be just friends. they don't deepen things out, probably because they quickly want to experience something new.

I think it's that and also that we don't like getting too close to people because of our fear of abandonment (haha Khamelion knows what i mean)... sounds surprisingly similar to ILI's?

[Mea]

Three of my closest friends are SEEs. They're the greatest!
They're always there when I need them, and overall really fun people to be with.

One of them is this big guy, who wouldn't stop talking about going to the gym, swimming scuba-diving, because he wants to get stronger. I remember the times when I'm upset, I'd just call him, and he'll usually meet me, chat over drinks, and he's very funny.

And the other SEE? Is just as nice, her Se is more obvious though. I remember her getting pissed at this project member, because he said some stuff which was untrue about our group, and she just walked right up to him and told him off. That was classic, she did it with the whole class there, yet it seemed like she was oblivious they were there at all. And he was trying to deny he ever said anything, and she just told him, "stop denying, hate people who say something and don't face up to it". Cute.

<3 SEEs. They're not fake, don't act like something they're not, and aren't afraid to do/say things if they think it's right.

[aka-kitsune]

....but something gets in the way of being truly close to them.

yes they are sometimes a bit superficial and try to be just friends. they don't deepen things out, probably because they quickly want to experience something new.

I think it's that and also that we don't like getting too close to people because of our fear of abandonment (haha Khamelion knows what i mean)... sounds surprisingly similar to ILI's?

Hmm... SEEs have abandonment issues? That's my core issue too (and I'm IEI). The ESFp I'm currently attracted to has this kind of vague "unreadability". Very difficult to figure; confounds my Ni. Comes in close, then inexplicably shies away the next time. I sense ambivalence and often feel kept at bay.

I always tend to read this tendency towards superficiality as disinterest. (But then, that's probably just my inherent sense of unworthiness).

[astralsilky]

....but something gets in the way of being truly close to them.

yes they are sometimes a bit superficial and try to be just friends. they don't deepen things out, probably because they quickly want to experience something new.

I think it's that and also that we don't like getting too close to people because of our fear of abandonment (haha Khamelion knows what i mean)... sounds surprisingly similar to ILI's?

Hmm... SEEs have abandonment issues? That's my core issue too (and I'm IEI). The ESFp I'm currently attracted to has this kind of vague "unreadability". Very difficult to figure; confounds my Ni. Comes in close, then inexplicably shies away the next time. I sense ambivalence and often feel kept at bay.

I always tend to read this tendency towards superficiality as disinterest. (But then, that's probably just my inherent sense of unworthiness).

This also describes me, and men have complained about it with me before. It is NOT due to disinterest at all. Depending on the circumstances, sometimes the MORE interested I am, the more I'm apt to shy away. It's because I fear the power of my emotions, knowing they get TOO strong inside (ie, then all my behavior is harnessed towards achieving overly idealistic ends due to "where my heart is") and then all reason goes out the window. (VERY un-ISTj-ish, we are SO different here (and clash, btw)). What runs through my mind is that I might end up in a situation that ends up either emotionally ruining me, or truly being "the end of me" because I neglected the more practical sides what was required for a relationship to really work. I need to see a guarantee that the circumstances can "protect" this vulnerability. So ultimately, people see me as holding back, and/or being too analytical about the relationship or idealistic. But they don't understand my emotional impulsiveness and why I NEED to hold myself in check. Maybe this helps?

[aka-kitsune]

Hmm... SEEs have abandonment issues? That's my core issue too (and I'm IEI). The ESFp I'm currently attracted to has this kind of vague "unreadability". Very difficult to figure; confounds my Ni. Comes in close, then inexplicably shies away the next time. I sense ambivalence and often feel kept at bay.

I always tend to read this tendency towards superficiality as disinterest. (But then, that's probably just my inherent sense of unworthiness).

This also describes me, and men have complained about it with me before. It is NOT due to disinterest at all. Depending on the circumstances, sometimes the MORE interested I am, the more I'm apt to shy away. It's because I fear the power of my emotions, knowing they get TOO strong inside (ie, then all my behavior is harnessed towards achieving overly idealistic ends due to "where my heart is") and then all reason goes out the window. (VERY un-ISTj-ish, we are SO different here (and clash, btw)). What runs through my mind is that I might end up in a situation that ends up either emotionally ruining me, or truly being "the end of me" because I neglected the more practical sides what was required for a relationship to really work. I need to see a guarantee that the circumstances can "protect" this vulnerability. So ultimately, people see me as holding back, and/or being too analytical about the relationship or idealistic. But they don't understand my emotional impulsiveness and why I NEED to hold myself in check. Maybe this helps?

What would you ultimately regard as the "go" sign, then...? In what circumstance would you trust your feelings/emotions and let yourself approach someone/be approached? What reassurance is sufficient to advance a relationship?

I've often observed that many guys I've been involved with only trust themselves in relationships with someone they don't care too much for. Like a built-in distance. But if they believe they'd really end up caring a lot, they seem really ambivalent and often push away someone they suspect might lead to this. Of course, this is something I don't understand. If my feelings are not engaged, I'd rather be elsewhere. No "safe" relationship will do.

[Not A Communist Shill]

I nearly got raped by a ESFp once in a packed classroom... - she did it to make me feel uncomfortable, basically.

[liveandletlive]

....but something gets in the way of being truly close to them.

yes they are sometimes a bit superficial and try to be just friends. they don't deepen things out, probably because they quickly want to experience something new.

I think it's that and also that we don't like getting too close to people because of our fear of abandonment (haha Khamelion knows what i mean)... sounds surprisingly similar to ILI's?

Hmm... SEEs have abandonment issues? That's my core issue too (and I'm IEI). The ESFp I'm currently attracted to has this kind of vague "unreadability". Very difficult to figure; confounds my Ni. Comes in close, then inexplicably shies away the next time. I sense ambivalence and often feel kept at bay.

I always tend to read this tendency towards superficiality as disinterest. (But then, that's probably just my inherent sense of unworthiness).

This also describes me, and men have complained about it with me before. It is NOT due to disinterest at all. Depending on the circumstances, sometimes the MORE interested I am, the more I'm apt to shy away. It's because I fear the power of my emotions, knowing they get TOO strong inside (ie, then all my behavior is harnessed towards achieving overly idealistic ends due to "where my heart is") and then all reason goes out the window. (VERY un-ISTj-ish, we are SO different here (and clash, btw)). What runs through my mind is that I might end up in a situation that ends up either emotionally ruining me, or truly being "the end of me" because I neglected the more practical sides what was required for a relationship to really work. I need to see a guarantee that the circumstances can "protect" this vulnerability. So ultimately, people see me as holding back, and/or being too analytical about the relationship or idealistic. But they don't understand my emotional impulsiveness and why I NEED to hold myself in check. Maybe this helps?

I completely agree. It sucks because I guess we've kinda learned from experience to not let ourselves get too close to others because I'm afraid of my own emotional attachment to them that they may screw me over somehow

[Mariano Rajoy]

I wanted to post an IME tid-bit about SEE, but there was no topic within the forum for discussing SEE exclusively. Therefore I decided to create topic for that purpose, and it will be started with a little narrative.

My little sister is SEE and she is taking "Personal Finance" in high school. Her homework assignment consisted of a series of questions; one of which had her stumped. The question was, "What are some of the costs that you will pay because of lifelong values?" I of course immediately thought Socionics. She could not come to a conclusion, so I excitedly helped her.

She let me know that I was a dork, and that by referring to personality theories I was a super dork. Anyhow, the value I told her to think about was "making interpersonal bonds/connections", and the costs that she will pay naturally follows. For example, travel costs, entertaining costs, meal costs, clothing costs, etc., from meeting new people.

(Disclamer: my formulation of SEE value is a bit vague here).

She somewhat agreed with my suggestions until I brought her attention to a previous question she had answered. "List the experiences that have cost you money/What do you spend money on?" She wrote, "Spending time with my friends usually always costs me money. When I was spending it I thought that it was great." She accepted my suggestions and was happy to have completed her homework assignment.

Sadly, however, being correct made me even more of a dork and she told me to shutup.

[aestrivex]

clearly you are effectuating in an excessively extacious manner and have unintentionally ameliorated yourself. you should strive to better librate and ospirate your personal experiences with others.

[Joy]

Sadly, however, being correct made me even more of a dork and she told me to shutup.

(and just imagine what she'd say if she knew you posted that story )

[Mariano Rajoy]

Sadly, however, being correct made me even more of a dork and she told me to shutup.

(and just imagine what she'd say if she knew you posted that story )

Ya, I snickered a bit when I posted it, but justified it because 1. it is so very vague and general and 2. it is self-incriminating.

If she did know, she would hit me and call me a jerk then forget about it in a few minutes.

[Joy]

Yeah, I didn't mean that you shouldn't have... just that it adds another layer of humor to your story, which I found very amusing, btw. I have had a lot of SEE friends and was with an LII for years, so I have some experience observing this particular conflicting pair. It's quite humorous.

[Warlord]

Haven't you teached your sister who's the boss?!

[force my hand]

My little sister is SEE and she is taking "Personal Finance" in high school. Her homework assignment consisted of a series of questions; one of which had her stumped. The question was, "What are some of the costs that you will pay because of lifelong values?" I of course immediately thought Socionics. She could not come to a conclusion, so I excitedly helped her.

That question stumpd me too. Does that mean I'm SEE, or just stupid?

[aestrivex]

My little sister is SEE and she is taking "Personal Finance" in high school. Her homework assignment consisted of a series of questions; one of which had her stumped. The question was, "What are some of the costs that you will pay because of lifelong values?" I of course immediately thought Socionics. She could not come to a conclusion, so I excitedly helped her.

That question stumpd me too. Does that mean I'm SEE, or just stupid?

it means you don't have an automatic Ti conception of what that rather vague question is supposed to indicate.

[implied]

My little sister is SEE and she is taking "Personal Finance" in high school. Her homework assignment consisted of a series of questions; one of which had her stumped. The question was, "What are some of the costs that you will pay because of lifelong values?" I of course immediately thought Socionics. She could not come to a conclusion, so I excitedly helped her.

That question stumpd me too. Does that mean I'm SEE, or just stupid?

i had issues with it as well. i think it was just poorly phrased. maybe niffweed's suggestion is applicable, too.

[Joy]

My little sister is SEE and she is taking "Personal Finance" in high school. Her homework assignment consisted of a series of questions; one of which had her stumped. The question was, "What are some of the costs that you will pay because of lifelong values?" I of course immediately thought Socionics. She could not come to a conclusion, so I excitedly helped her.

That question stumpd me too. Does that mean I'm SEE, or just stupid?

it means you don't have an automatic Ti conception of what that rather vague question is supposed to indicate.

I think it would have more to do with Ne than Ti. I'm not sure what Ti has to do with it at all, actually.

[Joy]

Haven't you teached your sister who's the boss?!

Have you ever met a SEE?

[aestrivex]

My little sister is SEE and she is taking "Personal Finance" in high school. Her homework assignment consisted of a series of questions; one of which had her stumped. The question was, "What are some of the costs that you will pay because of lifelong values?" I of course immediately thought Socionics. She could not come to a conclusion, so I excitedly helped her.

That question stumpd me too. Does that mean I'm SEE, or just stupid?

it means you don't have an automatic Ti conception of what that rather vague question is supposed to indicate.

I think it would have more to do with Ne than Ti. I'm not sure what Ti has to do with it at all, actually.

maybe. i dunno. who really cares anyway.

[Joy]

indeed

[liveandletlive]

haha yeah that definitely sounds like us. I would agree that question is definitely an Ne situation and would stump an undeveloped SEE.

By the way, my dad is a LII as well. What are some things you notice about the conflict relationship? One thing that always gets me about him is as intelligent as he is, his incessant need for truth and logic in conversations etc., can get quite irritating because to me ironically he seems irrational for caring so much about being rational. Usually our conflict begins when I'm just talking to talk (which us SEE's do a lot as you probably already know lol) or exaggerating (which we do a lot as well lol) and he starts to correct everything I'm saying which in turn makes me mad and my emotions get all rivaled up and then we start fighting and well yeah you get the picture. Do you feel that this is the case with you guys as well?

Living with your conflict sucks most of the time however they are the key to our own self-improvement

[Mariano Rajoy]

haha yeah that definitely sounds like us. I would agree that question is definitely an Ne situation and would stump an undeveloped SEE.

By the way, my dad is a LII as well. What are some things you notice about the conflict relationship? One thing that always gets me about him is as intelligent as he is, his incessant need for truth and logic in conversations etc., can get quite irritating because to me ironically he seems irrational for caring so much about being rational. Usually our conflict begins when I'm just talking to talk (which us SEE's do a lot as you probably already know lol) or exaggerating (which we do a lot as well lol) and he starts to correct everything I'm saying which in turn makes me mad and my emotions get all rivaled up and then we start fighting and well yeah you get the picture. Do you feel that this is the case with you guys as well?

Living with your conflict sucks most of the time however they are the key to our own self-improvement

The conflict relationship can really suck, but my sister and I get along reasonably well. We are not best friends, but she is important to me and we have an unstated agreement of non-engagment. I know we irritate each other, but neither of us takes it to an argument level. We seem to both ignore the other when problems show.

I try not to use too much Ti when she is around; I don't try to correct her. Sometimes I try to understand with some Ne, and other times I act like an ethical type. For example, when she comes home from work I pretend to be excited and loudly say her name and ask how her day was and how nice it is to see her (!!!!), etc etc. I think she appreciates it even though she calls me a dork.

[Warlord]

Haven't you teached your sister who's the boss?!

Have you ever met a SEE?

Actually only 3. And one of them who's elder brother I also know, had teached him who's the boss

And other told that she used to watch Little Mermaid with her elder sister all the time. So they can't all bad

Of course younger SEE siblings probably tests their limits from time to time.

[Satan]

Tell me what you know about SEE's.

How do they come across in casual interactions.

I hardly know anything.

[Khola aka Bee]

I was married to one once. It was lame. But some of the ones on here seem nice

[Satan]

I was married to one once. It was lame. But some of the ones on here seem nice

there's not really many esfp's here, and the ones who are don't seem to make much of an impact.