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Thread: Examples of INTp Fe PoLR remarks

  1. #201
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    Fe POLR monotone ... when having to speak in front of certain people, for whatever reason when you are uncomfortable, ...it takes energy away just being there, let alone speaking. That high buzz messyness makes it hard to not be monotone, I guess.

    Expressing emotions to young children, I have had no problem with my children, but once they leave that young child state, I am very reserved, too much so, but I am open and say to them and my hubby, "I do like you, I do love you, I just can't tell you that verbally any other time usually."

    I also tell them I "love" them because I make food for them that they want on their Birthday. That's also how I can stand cooking day in and day out, though even so I can't cook everyday happily (nor successfully.) I am a good cook/baker but the typical ILI, specialties are my specialty. I can do anything but my "heart" isn't in just "anything" "anytime" FWIW.

    In comfort blurting out ire at something someone does or says is Fe POLR too. Having a reaction like that in public is nigh impossible, it's the "locked up" version in public.

    Mostly crowded places are unwanted ILI places. For me yes, but I do love Music and love concerts, so have learned to put up with crowds of that type.

    Also I can sing, have sung in front of hundreds and thousands in the past (when I was younger) I could do that well because it was a practically anonymous thing to do, yes, solo work felt like that to me . Have me sing to a small group in a room, not happening. No way. I also liked "acting" but couldn't pursue much of that life because I had certain worldview that I couldn't stomach just "any" role so, "quit before it means you suck" was important for me. So singing in front of thousands, did I talk to them? No. That is NOT doable.

    I wanted a band, but I didn't know enough people and couldn't promote myself and determined I'd rather be married and have a family anyhow.

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  2. #202
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    Quote Originally Posted by Phil Osifer View Post
    I agree with Fe poor being superbly monotonal in nature. I cannot speak or sing with much expressiveness. It requires and consumes way too much energy. Resources are too valuable to waste.
    It can also work in reverse. being part of our core stack combined with a lack of means that your "passion" can come across in all the wrong ways. Despite the cold exterior you'd be shocked to learn how hard and how passionate any given ILI feels emotion. We may speak in monotone and may even see it as ideal. But believe you me that is not diminished in the slightest. We DO "Feel", we feel harder than you know. The thing that separates us from the other types is that we are very able to divorce our feelings from our actions so long as we've delved deep enough into our own shadow to not face the problems Jung said would occur if we did not...

    To give an example of this phenomenon, we ILI's are fully able to kill direct family members if we conclude they pose a threat to the survival of humanity for instance (as is any Gamma if you push them into a rhetorical corner). Even so, we'll weep for days, weeks, even months in our own way if it comes down to that. We won't let anyone see it if we can help it of course, but we DO feel very, very bad about that failure in our mind (for that really is an admission of failure in our mind, to kill a loved one). If only we could have made our case in a different way, if only our PolR didn't manifest at that precise moment.... you get the point if you have any idea as to how works...

    Though I must say this from my own experience that, if you manage to truly hit "fuck it" status you'll stop being drained. I've only recently decided to say "fuck it" and boy oh boy do I feel great. Once you just embrace your weakness and just go all out you'd be surprised at how things seem to work out for you. Especially if you embrace the concept of your own imminent death. As a famous anime's protagonist said (likely drawing from a famous tome written by a samurai who was prevented from committing seppuku), "you're already dead!"

    Once you accept that "fact" you are at once freed from all the fetters of this corrupt and horrible modern world. You are dead, accept it, and work from that point onward. Seriously, it's... very liberating.
    Last edited by End; 07-13-2017 at 07:00 AM.

  3. #203
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    ILI to mid 30s lady coworker:
    "That's a really nice jacket, it looks like something my mother would wear."
    100% sincere. It didn't go over well.
    I would say that ethically you are still supposed to act as if you have unilateral responsibility; but simultaneously you have to be able to see the other as a fully autonomous, free, aware person.

    Medicalizing social problems has the additional benefit of rendering society not responsible for those social ills. If it’s a disease, it’s nobody’s fault. Yay empiricism.

  4. #204
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pookie View Post
    ILI to mid 30s lady coworker:
    "That's a really nice jacket, it looks like something my mother would wear."
    100% sincere. It didn't go over well.
    Isn't that Fi polr

  5. #205
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    that's a good point you bring up

    I think it is more of a Fe thing than a Fi thing because there's nothing really "inherently offensive" about the comment (or contrary to Fi values in the sense of norms). Its not like joking about someone's dead mom or something. Rather its implied that it had a negative effect on the mood simply because it understood its own complimentary "insight" (factual connection-- Te observation) without consideration of how it would come across which in fact served to lower the energy not raise it, that kind of counter productiveness seems to be Fe polr because it was "100% sincere." If he was sarcastic it seems like it would be more Fi polr because it would be taking a direct shot at the person while bringing moms into it (ethic of relations, expense of one's own mother in a certain irony). In other words if it was intentional you could say it was Fi polr because it had the desired Fe effect; here it unwittingly had the reverse of intended Fe effect without directly implicating a lack of Fi value (although at first it appears like it might because its bringing moms into it, since it was sincere its not actually really being a dick about anything in terms of Fi)

    also you gotta think in terms of Fe polr as a product of Te creative, hence it seems like Fe polr because this seems like a more Te statement

    whereas Fi polr is more a product of Ti creative so a comment in terms of that would be if it were sarcastic and implying a Ti principle "only moms think thats a nice jacket" i.e.: you're out of step generationally with your fashion choices

  6. #206
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    An PoLR behavior I noticed is replying to spirited praise of any kind in the weirdest manners that are not socially accepted.

    High (and to some extent, ) does not care about unspecific exaggerations. ILI and SLI want to eschew everything superfluous, unrealistic, or inaccurate. That's why they will not say "thanks" or "please don't mention it" generically like a normal person would. Instead, they will go on a tangent explaining why the praise doesn't apply to them if they feel it's wrong, how they reject it and why, even correcting the person who gives an enthusiastic compliment. Imagine being told that your praise was not deserved, and you just get a cold answer with a blank face. This is the ultimate negation. I know an ILI who even went as far as saying "shut up..." as a response to something positive about him! And his dry tone made it very ambiguous whether it was sarcastic or not, leading to an awkward scene. It was clear that he needed someone emotionally resilient and moral (SEE) who would explain that this behavior would hurt the other person to help out his PoLR.

    It's only when the encouragement comes in the form of their or suggestive function that they will react somewhat appropriately. Especially with the former, I think.

  7. #207
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  8. #208
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    My longtime ILI-Te friend. His ESI gf is pregnant, but they had been in China for one year and they just recently moved to an accessible place in Central Europe, 2h30m drive from where I am now. I didn't know how many months pregnant she actually was. Last week, I asked if I could visit them. His reply:

    Him:"-Girlfriend name- could give brith anytime soon, even today, but you are welcome to visit us, I will cook and if she gives birth we can all help her out together"
    Me (advised from my ESI gf, otherwise I'd have said "yeah let's have a hike in the mountains in the morning"): "Uh, well, maybe sometime in 1-2 months would be better then?"
    Him: "Uh, what? Did I scare you with my previous notice? I was thinking we could also do a short cycling tour in the hills around the city, if she needs help she has my phone number"

    Then I invented some excuse I hope he won't hold it against me. I have to admit sometimes combining and polr can be a disaster.
    Last edited by FDG; 08-15-2017 at 10:12 AM.
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    My ILI husband, upon meeting my 23 year old, tall, gorgeous sister who works in construction:

    "I've never seen a woman with such a feminine face and feminine look have such a boyish attitude. It's rare. Usually women with really feminine looks have a feminine personality. She's interesting"

    Any other woman would have thought he was hitting on her. But, that's how his brain works. I just said "Yes honey, she's always been a tomboy" lol
    I'm just an effin ray of sunshine

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