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Thread: Are conflict relationships impossible to fix?

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    Default Are conflict relationships impossible to fix?

    With socionics, you are suppossed to better understand (and hopefully fix) poor relationships... but can that only go so far? I'm starting to think that conflict relationships can almost never work. The reason is because, even if you know and understand your conflict and WHY you have problems with them, it is almost impossible to change yourself enough to accomodate those diffrences without a great deal of psychological pain to yourself. How can you work out your diffreces? It baffles me. What one does to feel better naturally makes the other one sick. Then their reactions to each other wil almost undoubtedely create even more bad tension. On top of this, coming to an agreement to a problem is alomst non-exsistant.

    So, does anyone have anyways in which they have made conflict relationships a little more tolerable? Does anyone think that conflicts can live together, at all? Is it hopeless?
    MAYBE I'LL BREAK DOWN!!!


    Quote Originally Posted by vague
    Rocky's posts are as enjoyable as having wisdom teeth removed.

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    Topaz's Avatar
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    Ive had good relationships with my conflicting type except at work. When we have to join efforts to accomplish something then real problems begin to manifest themselves. When it comes to leasure we get along quite well. I would say that conflicting types can be interesting and enjoyable but do not ask more of these relationships than brief, informal contact.

    Topaz

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    I agree with Topaz. I had a conflicting relation at work and it was almost impossible to communciate and get anthing done. But now I socialize with her and another from that job and it's not that bad . . . the other person is my supervisee and her lookalike, so we actually get get along pretty well as long as it's just for coffee!

    My father knows a couple that has been married for 10 years who never would get along. I told him about socionics and he figured they have a conflicting relationship. He told them about this and they finally decided to get a divorce (I don't think it was just the socionics info, but it definitely helped them see the futility of trying to continue!). I couldn't believe that people in conflicting relations would ever fall in love in the first place!
    Entp
    ILE

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    Quote Originally Posted by Blaze
    I couldn't believe that people in conflicting relations would ever fall in love in the first place!
    *Reminder that socionic relationships have nothing to do with love*

    Anyways, what I meant was, in a CLOSE relationship, is it impossible? If the two people had to live together or be in constant contact with each other, is there any way to help that sort of relationship? From what I'm hearing from you guys is that, no, conflicts can't be close. That was my thought, but maybe some people have learned to cooperate with conflicts? Maybe not. Even with knowing socionics it seems like you can't change it. My Mom's my conflict, and I know other people have to live with conflicts too, so I was trying to think of ways to make these relationships better but couldn't come up with anything. It's just futile, I guess.
    MAYBE I'LL BREAK DOWN!!!


    Quote Originally Posted by vague
    Rocky's posts are as enjoyable as having wisdom teeth removed.

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    Topaz's Avatar
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    My sister and her husband are conflict. She is infp and he is estj. They argued alot in the beginning of their marriage and still have conflicts to this day but they seem to be able to stay together and its been about 23 years. I think they wore each other out. Now they more or less are hands off. They dont try to change each other as much and I think that has helped. Extended family and having projects and worship help as well.

    Topaz

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    @Topaz, funny the couple I was speaking of earlier have the same configuration: she's infp and he's estj.

    Weird.
    Entp
    ILE

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    Yeah, because infps can spend incredible efforts and can make big compromises forgetting about themselfs to adapt to his/her partner. I know one ESTj/INFp couple too.
    http://forum.socionix.com

    I don't see what's so important about the possibility of extraterrestrial life. It's just more people to declare war on.

    EVERYONE PLZ CONTINUE TO UPLOAD INFINITE AMOUNT OF PICS OF "CUTE" CATS AND PUPPIES. YOU KNOW WE GIVE A SHIT!!

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    Are conflict relationships impossible to fix?
    It is not inevitable that they will breakdown......is it?

    First, I think much depends on if the two people are sharing responsibilities. If they are not , then there is less likelihood of a relationship breakdown.

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    Quote Originally Posted by NFp-
    Have to do a lot of accomodating and give and take I imagine...

    I also feel that if you have a dual, mirror or just activity partner as close friends, you can better tolerate the psychological 'beating' of a conflicting relationship in your family.
    Well, I have an EIE conflict Mom, a critical ILI Dad, my sister's my supervisor and by far the best relationship out of the three, and now I also have a little kid named Nick who lives down the street and decided that it's ok to run into my house and annoy the hell out of me even though I hate little ADD bastard children. I know that sounds mean but I really don't care. Maybe this is why I need friends outside of my own house? Wow, how depressing...

    Sorry, I didn't mean for this to be a personal thing or a venting place or whatever, just for general "Conflict relationship" stuff. I know other people have had problems with conflicts. The best we have seem to come up with so far is just give the other person space and let them do what they have to do. I guess that works... kind of...
    MAYBE I'LL BREAK DOWN!!!


    Quote Originally Posted by vague
    Rocky's posts are as enjoyable as having wisdom teeth removed.

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    [quote="NFp-"]
    Quote Originally Posted by Rocky

    Well, I have an EIE conflict Mom, a critical ILI Dad, my sister's my supervisor and by far the best relationship out of the three, and now I also have a little kid named Nick who lives down the street and decided that it's ok to run into my house and annoy the hell out of me even though I hate little ADD bastard children. I know that sounds mean but I really don't care. Maybe this is why I need friends outside of my own house? Wow, how depressing...
    I hear you!! My mother's my benefactor, my father's my supervisor, my youngest brother is comparative with me, and my other brother is my mirror. Mirror isn't bad, but HE is my other brother's supervisor, my father's lookalike, my mother's illusionary, so he's much better off than I am. Family dynamics . . . de-personalized by socionics! :wink:
    Entp
    ILE

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    I live with a ESFP, and you really just have to ignore what you don't like in people, (they never change, the bastards) try to find a common interest and focus on that.
    And, (this is a hard one...) be NICE! all the time, fake it if you have to, for the benefit of the relationship.
    (Then filp out 'cause you can't stand what they do and how they act)...
    ^..^
    INTJ
    ^..^

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    Quote Originally Posted by Pedro-the-Lion
    i lived with an esfp also...

    ...still found ways to irritate me
    Oh, how I know that feeling...Lucky you only lived with him, I married one. (DO NOT RECOMMEND)
    INTJ
    ^..^

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    fdfds

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    I would say, if you are INTJ all ESFP's, and not ex-husband, current.
    INTJ
    ^..^

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    ok it's interesting what exactly you've found in him in the beggining?
    http://forum.socionix.com

    I don't see what's so important about the possibility of extraterrestrial life. It's just more people to declare war on.

    EVERYONE PLZ CONTINUE TO UPLOAD INFINITE AMOUNT OF PICS OF "CUTE" CATS AND PUPPIES. YOU KNOW WE GIVE A SHIT!!

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    He's hot.
    All beauty no brains.
    INTJ
    ^..^

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    Quote Originally Posted by Poose
    He's hot.
    All beauty no brains.
    This is the first time I'm hearing that that would appeal to an INTj...?
    “Let us forget with generosity those who cannot love us”
    ― Pablo Neruda

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    it's strange for me too.
    http://forum.socionix.com

    I don't see what's so important about the possibility of extraterrestrial life. It's just more people to declare war on.

    EVERYONE PLZ CONTINUE TO UPLOAD INFINITE AMOUNT OF PICS OF "CUTE" CATS AND PUPPIES. YOU KNOW WE GIVE A SHIT!!

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    Quote Originally Posted by Kim
    Quote Originally Posted by Poose
    He's hot.
    All beauty no brains.
    This is the first time I'm hearing that that would appeal to an INTj...?
    OH? So maybe I am not INTJ then?

    What about an ISTJ?
    INTJ
    ^..^

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    don't know but it's best to start another topic about your type in the appropriate forum.
    http://forum.socionix.com

    I don't see what's so important about the possibility of extraterrestrial life. It's just more people to declare war on.

    EVERYONE PLZ CONTINUE TO UPLOAD INFINITE AMOUNT OF PICS OF "CUTE" CATS AND PUPPIES. YOU KNOW WE GIVE A SHIT!!

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    Quote Originally Posted by krae
    don't know but it's best to start another topic about your type in the appropriate forum.
    Yes, you are right, but you started it.
    INTJ
    ^..^

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    Quote Originally Posted by Poose
    Quote Originally Posted by krae
    don't know but it's best to start another topic about your type in the appropriate forum.
    Yes, you are right, but you started it.
    INTJ.
    MAYBE I'LL BREAK DOWN!!!


    Quote Originally Posted by vague
    Rocky's posts are as enjoyable as having wisdom teeth removed.

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