I had an IM conversation with an IXFx close friend of mine last night and we brought up an extremely trivial matter and had different opinions about it It was a rather immature topic but I believe that it clearly delineated where our preferences lie:
[middle of conversation. Content changed a little to get rid of local slang and make it more understandable.]
*Stacy: you know what? I feel that we used to be only acquiantances in secondary school, and it was only after college then did I regard you as a close friend.
*Me: You are confusing me. I always thought I was in your special circle all this while.
*Stacy: Really? What made you think so?
*Me: If you only regard me as an acquiantance, why did you bother to go an extra mile for me? Acquiantances don't usually celebrate birthdays in a small group (our four-person clique in school) and give a personal touch to them. Moreover, we (as a clique) frequently hang out together after school and during the holidays and we have a lot of personal conversations going on between us.
*Stacy: yeah, but our clique was formed because we share a common friend [my best friend Linda] and that was it. I treated you as any other acquiantances in school then. My friends back then were categorised into two sets: the secondary school ones (including you) and the close ones. The close friends are those whom I trust and share my personal problems too. Anyway, why are you so bothered by where you stand in my circle?
*Me: I'm not really bothered. I'm just surprised that that was how you felt all this while.
*Stacy: I see. You know what, girl? You really think too much. I can't believe you brought up something that happened so long ago. What really matters is the here and now. What's really important is that we are all happy now.
*Me: I know. I'm just curious about it. That's all.
*Stacy: yeah. You should stop bringing up about old stuff. Besides this friendship matter, I realize that you seem to bring up past events once in a while these days.
*Me: I guess they just cropped up in my mind sometimes and I just want to make some clarifications so that I won't be bothered by unanswered questions.
*Stacy: Well, don't even think about them at all. What's past is past.
*Me: Well, I prefer to think it that way, but I guess your past sort of dictates who you are presently. I mean, what you are like presently is due to the decisions you have made in the past. It's all about cause and effect.
*Stacy: I see. Hmmmm......just forget about them. There's nothing we can do but concentrate on the present. :wink:
[the conversation continues.]