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Thread: which relation is this?

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    heath's Avatar
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    Default which relation is this?

    A co-worker of mine: She is very strict about rules, and having things done. She seems very worrisome about things being completed, and being completed according to her terms. She has no problems applying authority, and I think she enjoys it. Telling people no is her specialty. Anyhow. Our relationship is one of strange conflict. I don't particularly trust her. I've seen her play games and make manuevers and try to lambast almost every other employee. she usually does this when somebody breaks a rule, or offends her moral sensibilities. occasionally we will have warm moments. This is especially true when we both have someone to give our attention. We cannot function one on one. In fact, it makes me very uncomfortable to be alone around her, and i'm sure she feels the same way. We definitely bounce around in relationship and there isn't much stability. Our relationships attitudes are usually cyclical. We will have a conflict of interest or belief and from there we will be enemies to eachother for a few weeks(as stated earlier, she hates when people defy her moral code. A co-worker of mine became pregnant at 16 and had some ultrasound photos. She asked me, "Heath you have got to see this baby's ultrasound" and i said, "I don't give a damn about that girl's baby." She became very unpleasant after this.) Then we will have an incident in which we confide in eachother. The positive effect of this will last a week or two as well.

    I can't think of anything else. Maybe some of you have some questions which would clarify the relationship?

    All-in-all I actually think our fighting is beneficial. We are a stronger unit when we all have beliefs/ideas/codes to construct and act upon. My beliefs don't follow hers, and neither of us seems interested in compromise.

    She is an Se type. I have no doubt of this. ISFj is the most likely type.
    asd

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    She doesn't sound ISFj. She could have Se as hidden agenda. IMO. Se ego type also possible I guess.
    Not sure about the relationship. Sound very uncomfortable.
    INTp
    sx/sp

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    She's ISFj. She's a good person and we like eachother. I understand her motives very well and think she has the right idea. I shouldn't have mentioned her type. Anybody hgave a clue about this relationship?
    asd

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    She could be ENFJ. I am not very good at typing relationships.
    Well I am back. How's everyone? Don't have as much time now, but glad to see some of the old gang are still here.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Dioklecian
    She could be ENFJ. I am not very good at typing relationships.
    ENFj and ESTj are other possibilities.
    asd

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    I was thinking ENFj too.
    Dunno the relation. No one else typing the relation?
    INTp
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    Semi-dual.

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    She sounds ISTj. Se, Fe and Ti seem to be there.

    You conflict with her precisely on Fe and Ti which suggests again that you are a Gamma-Delta type.

    It's difficult to evaluate the relationship. It's one of the intermediary ones, probably symmetrical. So it would be look-alike, super-ego, or semi-duality; or perhaps even comparative or illusion.
    , LIE, ENTj logical subtype, 8w9 sx/sp
    Quote Originally Posted by implied
    gah you're like the shittiest ENTj ever!

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    Don't forget the the thehotelambush's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Expat
    She sounds ISTj. Se, Fe and Ti seem to be there.

    You conflict with her precisely on Fe and Ti which suggests again that you are a Gamma-Delta type.
    Yep.

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    Some people in this forum are way too quick to point to ISTjs when someone has a bad experience with another person.

    I don't think an ISTj would be overtly insensitive and opposed to seeing ultasound pictures of an employee's baby. ISTjs aren't harsh in a public context and are rarely harsh in a private context (they can be with unfavourable types, or where different values exist - but only in private).

    I can't see ENFJ in this case either.
    ISTj.

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    I can see a case for both ISTj and ENFj. Definitely the Fe-Te conflict there.

    I see nothing negative about a person who has a hard time getting along with ISTps (or ESTjs). It says nothing bad about a person. :wink: This is why my first thought was ENFj. There is definitely some Se in her description. I would even say that I have a hard time seeing anything but ISTj/ENFj. ENFj > ISTj because the relationship is very dynamic. I don't really think that ISTjs change their attitude towards a person in every couple of weeks. They either like you or they don't and they treat you accordingly. You'd have to work real hard to change things for the better. Or at least that's how the relations have been with me and ISTjs. It might be a stereotype though and maybe I just haven't noticed the weekly fluctuations.

    heath, describe how she behaves when you two aren't getting along. How does she "punish" you?

    EDIT: also, this relationship is similar to the one I have with an ISTp. We have long fights about values we are not willing to dismiss. But then we have fun discovering how different we are, but then we have a fight again... ups and downs... We fight a lot, but at the end of the day, we are still friends.
    EIE, ENFj, intuitive subtype.
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    Heath do you have any pics for her?
    Well I am back. How's everyone? Don't have as much time now, but glad to see some of the old gang are still here.

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    She sounds very ISTj to me.
    It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.
    -Mark Twain


    You can't wake a person who is pretending to be asleep.

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    I should really change the way I described her. I mentioned first her adherence to rules and her need have things done. Well, I should've first mentioned that the strongest element of her personality is to bring people in and close to her emotionally. Everytime she meets a new employee she's very open and people are drawn to her concern. She is very concerned about the people she likes. She dislikes people who behave unethically. People with bad manners, etc all get to her, and she has no problem disciplining them. She's a go-to girl when any woman has a problem. They all come to her for advice. It's a really strange phenomenon. Anyhow. A few things in which we conflict: When a patient has an issue in the facility, i hate having to bring it to her. She always groans, and I anticipate her negative reaction. I don't have any ability whatsoever to comfort people emotionally so I really don't know what to say. I don't know if her motive is to make me feel guilty, but I always do.

    As for a picture: Well, she's a very attractive woman. She's in her early fifties. And she is still very beautiful.

    But still, I try my damndest to keep on even terms with her. I try my damndest to keep on even terms with everyone. There is lots of strife amongst my co-workers and it is really terrible. I try everything in my power to stay neutral. When we have a bad employee I don't bitch about the bad employee I strategize her weakness into a way to make sure everything gets done. I might win employee of the year for my facility. All my struggles sort of payed off. I struggled everyday with co-worker's emotional problems(this was the worst for me, it's not that I hate drama, I just hate people who come into nursing homes and pick fights with old people!), lack of effort, incompetence, slowness, disorganization, lack of communication, and occasionally obstinancy. Anyhow, my unit is looking better everyday. jeez. look what a year in shitland will do to a guy. Only two more months left.

    Kriistina: When we don't get along it's sort of a slowburning unspoken hatred. We know we can't be around eachother, look eachother in the eyes, any of that. I think it eats her up because she almost always clears up her conflicts. And in those situations I become avoidant.

    anyhow! it's not that bad folks. I should say that 80% of the time we are on even terms. She seems to have a lot of respect for the way I handle people. I am almost always incredibly calm, and slow with explanations whereas she explodes with a long list of rules, and almost always aggression. She also compliments me saying, "wow, you just wont say anything bad about anyone!" It's true. I vent it all on the internet when I go home bitch! Nah, really, I am a big softie for old people. And really, I don't hate individuals, just their principles and the consequences of their actions.
    asd

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    Identical, you are both ISFjs.
    Obsequium amicos, veritas odium parit

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    you and your stories.
    asd

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    are people thinking the needing rules and her own terms as Ti? I could see it as Fi too.

    When i read it i thought about my interactions with my conflictor, an ESFp. So.. sorry not much help. But yes, sounds like one of the "worser" relations.

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