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Thread: How to make up with an ISFj

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    Default How to make up with an ISFj

    An ISFj is mad at me. I don't know why.

    We have to see each other every day at work.

    How to smooth things over? Is it better to allow her to talk to me when she feels like it?

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    Just be straight forward and avoid dramatics.
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    Default Re: How to make up with an ISFj

    Quote Originally Posted by Ms. Kensington
    An ISFj is mad at me. I don't know why.
    rofl. I bet they're not actually mad at you.

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    For my ISFj friends, I would approach them privately and tell them exactly how I felt and if there was anything they would like to share with me. It works all the time.

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    I have a good friend who I think is ISFj. When I can sense that he's mad or irritated and I think it might be due to something I did or said, I usually make an educated guess and apologize as sincerely as I can without asking him what's wrong first. If I guess wrong, he helps me out by letting me know what the issue was. Then after he says it's okay and I feel like I'm forgiven, I change the subject to something I know he enjoys and we move on. I always have to be the one to bring it up though. He is very much against any sort of negative interaction or confrontation and if it weren't for me clearing the air, it would go unsaid. I am always the one to apologize, even for minor misunderstandings--he has never apologized to me. Although we generally have not had many disagreements or many opportunities to be mad at each other. (There's a chance he could be ISFp rather than ISFj, so take this with a grain of salt)
    IEI-Fe 4w3

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    well, one thing is that you typically have to be willing to go to them, not the other way around.
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    Default Re: How to make up with an ISFj

    Quote Originally Posted by Ms. Kensington
    An ISFj is mad at me. I don't know why.

    We have to see each other every day at work.

    How to smooth things over? Is it better to allow her to talk to me when she feels like it?
    You have to bring it up and express your willingness to make things better and do the right thing. Show that you care about changing whatever bothered the other person. Just make sure that as you're getting to the bottom of whatever caused the rift, that you always show respect for the other person's position. Depending on your type and the relation involved, you may not instinctively value whatever this person felt was so important, but try to see it from his/her point of view.

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    Default Re: How to make up with an ISFj

    Quote Originally Posted by Jonathan
    Quote Originally Posted by Ms. Kensington
    An ISFj is mad at me. I don't know why.

    We have to see each other every day at work.

    How to smooth things over? Is it better to allow her to talk to me when she feels like it?
    You have to bring it up and express your willingness to make things better and do the right thing. Show that you care about changing whatever bothered the other person. Just make sure that as you're getting to the bottom of whatever caused the rift, that you always show respect for the other person's position. Depending on your type and the relation involved, you may not instinctively value whatever this person felt was so important, but try to see it from his/her point of view.
    Very well-said. I agree completely. This would probably be good advice for dealing with many types now that I think about it.
    IEI-Fe 4w3

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