• Enneagram

    by Published on 10-28-2011 05:40 AM  Number of Views: 2856 
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    Type One

    Type one people care more than most about whether things are as they should be. They can become trapped by compulsive judgment and correction, of themselves or of others. One of their talents is an intuitive ability to sense what is true, good, and right.

    Ego fixation: resentment
    Holy idea: perfection
    Passion: anger
    Virtue: serenity

    Health Levels

    wise acceptance
    discerning rationality
    self-disciplined ethics

    preachy idealism
    rigid logic
    perfectionistic judgment

    vitriolic self-righteousness
    hypocritical obsession
    sadistic condemnation


    one with a two wing

    general description

    Average 1/2 combines the dry, rational, practical concerns of type one with the wet, other-directedness of two. The emotional repression of one is somewhat balanced by the self-defined goodness and desire-to-please of two. 1/2s typically care more about appearance than 1/9, and because of their oneish perfectionism they often dress immaculately. The pride from their two-wing makes them more visibly sensitive to criticism than 1/9, although both subtypes are internally very hard on themselves. Unlike 2/1, they would usually rather do the right thing than please someone else, although they want to do both if possible.

    balanced and transcendent states

    Healthy 1/2s begin to loosen up somewhat, becoming able to let go of their righteous judgements. They begin to allow for the possibility that their views might not be entirely accurate. Their other-directed corrections soften up and actually become helpful rather than intrusive. They become able to see the difference between proud perfectionism and healthy tolerance of differences.

    When 1/2s attain spiritual opening, they can become teachers of the highest order. One integrates to seven, bringing in joy and enthusiasm, while two integrates to four, replacing selfish manipulation with genuine compassionate concern for others. Deep oneish wisdom combines with twoish loving generosity for an intensely personal kind of guidance, even when they are addressing large groups. Somehow advanced 1/2s seem to know exactly what is needed for maximum teaching value in any situation. They teach by asking the right questions, gently guiding the student to deeper insights.

    unbalanced and unhealthy states

    Unhealthy 1/2s run into problems when twoish pride interacts with oneish perfectionism. A tremendous inner conflict rages between the two-wing that says "I am a good, generous person" and the oneish view that sees every tiny error as a sign of fundamental worthlessness. One disintegrates to four, where self-critical introspection creates a spiral of hopelessness, while two disintegrates to eight, so that when the heavily repressed anger erupts it does so in sudden (but usually very short) fits of hyper-critical rage, sometimes accompanied by overt violence. Naturally these violent fits then become more food for the self-judgment spiral, as the 1/2 falls into guilty remorse.

    In the worst cases, repressed oneish anger and hostile twoish pride combine, creating intense sessions of wrenching, hand-wringing despair. If my anger is not expressed towards others, then it is directed at myself. I am not good enough if I cannot meet my own standards. I must work harder and harder, or I will fail my own increasingly difficult self-tests. Self-punishment is necessary, in the form of grueling work days, endless tormented repetitions of not-quite perfect tasks, and every kind of refusal to experience any sort of pleasure. Suicide is possible.

    physical appearance

    Most 1/2s take care to appear neat, clean, and orderly. Hair is carefully clipped, especially facial hair (if any) and clothing is just so. Beards are almost always partial, shaved in places for a distinguished effect. Physically they are usually on the thin side, although of course there are exceptions. They hold their heads high. Sometimes it seems as if they are looking down their noses at the world. When they smile there might be a condescending feel. Maybe the eyebrows are lifted perpetually into points, showing a judgmental quality.

    callings

    Some 1/2s find work that expresses an urge to help other people become perfect. Teachers of all kinds, but particularly languages, humanities, science, and medicine. Doctors, dentists,
    ...
    by Published on 10-27-2011 04:00 AM  Number of Views: 5807 
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    Enneagram Types and Compatibility


    Related links:

    Enneagram Tests and Resources
    Compatibility Study of 400+ couples
    Similarminds compatibility chart
    Instinctual Stacking Compatibilities
    Relationships by Enneagram Type
    Who is your enneagram dual?


    Type One-Type One

    As with all double-type relationships, two Enneagram Ones bring the same general qualities to each other. Therein lies both a main source of the attraction as well as one of the main pitfalls of this pair. Two Ones will be concerned with fairness, truthfulness, keeping agreements, schedules, consistency, and treating the other wish respect and dignity. Work and taking care of responsibilities will tend to come first, with play and pleasure taking a back seat for this couple. Vacations and leisure, partying and recreation will all be fitted in after the more important things are accomplished. Each will feel like (and take the role of) the adult in most situations, making for a highly competent, rational approach to life and problem solving.
    In their dealings with each other (as well as with family and friends), two Ones will want to be objective and reasonable, fair and truthful above all else—and will seek these qualities in others. They create an atmosphere of clarity and precision in which their own interactions with each other (and with friends and family) feel clean—not sticky or sentimental or loaded with unspoken ulterior motives. A double One pairing often is created and sustained by shared ideals as well as the desire to put those ideals into practice. Both Ones are typically people who have solid convictions which they enjoy talking about, often with noteworthy articulateness and passion. They also typically have a certain strength of character and a degree of wisdom—which both admire in the other. They could not bear being in a relationship with someone they did not respect and whose character was not sterling. Ones bring their hard-earned wisdom to others, above all, by fighting for tolerance, dignity, and rights of everyone.

    Both Ones are governed by a strong sense of right and wrong as well as a sense of responsibility, giving them a feeling of self-restraint and a tendency to feel responsible both for themselves and for everything else in their lives—including the quality of the relationship itself. There can be a noticeable tone of formality in this combination with a reluctance to say or do anything that would be undignified or out of keeping with their sense of propriety and appropriateness. They will have little tolerance for sloppiness, error, or whatever they define as childish behavior in anyone. Irritation and condescending sarcasm are how they express anger with each other, occasionally exploding into a litany of long-standing grievances that have been loaded in their mental account books. Easily frustrated by mistakes or lapses in themselves, they are equally aware of short-comings in each other.

    Average Ones can begin to make the other into a perpetual, unfinished improvement project, although two Ones may well find it too uncomfortable to treat ...
    by Published on 10-26-2011 03:49 AM  Number of Views: 1837 
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    Relationships by Enneagram Type


    Notes: These excerpts were taken from Helen Palmer's book "The Enneagram In Work And Love". Descriptions are available for type pairings 1-3, 1-6, 1-9, 2-5, 3-4, 3-9, 3-5, 4-7, ...
    by Published on 10-24-2011 10:38 PM     Number of Views: 542 
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    The "Latitude and Longitude" of Enneagram Fixations


    by Judith Searle



    "What a piece of work is a man, how noble in reason, how infinite in faculties, in form and moving how express and admirable, in action how like an angel, in apprehension how like a god: the beauty of the world, the paragon of animals; and yet to me, what is this quintessence of dust?"
    --Hamlet



    Hamlet's lines express eloquently the ambivalence many feel about the human condition, an opposition that is expressed with great sophistication in the system of personality typing we call the Enneagram. Each of us, at our heart point, might express some version of Hamlet's awe at human possibilities; at our stress point, some version of his disgust at what our physical body may be reduced to.

    Tension is essential to all living systems. It is in fact a workable definition of life itself, since we humans (like all other organisms) cease to exhibit tensions only when we are dead. Fixated pupils and the cessation of brain waves, heartbeat and breathing are clear signs that a person has become a body.

    Most of us have ambivalent
    ...
    by Published on 10-24-2011 12:05 AM  Number of Views: 2444 
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    Enneagram Talk Styles, Essence, Passions and Fixations



    Enneagram Talk Styles

    One way to type those around you is to examine their Enneagram talk style. Each type has a unique approach to speaking and writing, which can be picked up on in a matter of minutes. The following is a list of each type and their general mode of communication:

    TYPE 1: SERMONS/PREACH & TEACH
    Teaching, preaching, finding fault, admonishing, correcting, reminding of obligations
    Self-talk: ‘That’s not right’

    TYPE 2: SYMPATHIES/HELP & ADVICE/PRAISE & COMPLIMENTS
    Befriending, supporting, comforting, offering friendly advice, pitching in, meeting needs, getting personal
    Self-talk: ‘You need me’

    TYPE 3: SALES PITCHES/PROPAGANDA/SELF-PROMOTION
    Promoting, advertising, performing, exclaiming, motivational speeches, success stories
    Self-talk: ‘Watch me shine’

    TYPE 4: LAMENTS/SAD STORIES
    Longing, lamenting, extolling, yearning, regretful sighs, poetic turns of phrase, self-expression
    Self-talk: ‘I’m feeling …’

    TYPE 5: LECTURES/THESES/TREATISES
    Detailed explanations, informative displays of knowledge, definitions, facts, precise instructions, logical, rational arguments
    Self-talk: ‘I’m thinking …’

    TYPE 6: CAUTIONS/CAVEATS/SETTING LIMITS
    Questions, warnings, second-guessing, trouble-shooting, worst-case scenarios, defending / testing
    Self-talk: ‘But what if …’

    TYPE 7: ANECDOTES/BRAINSTORMING/STORYTELLING
    Joking, laughing, story-telling, entertaining, shifting gears, changing venues, sampling, imagining, checking out, moving on
    Self-talk: ‘On a lighter note’

    TYPE 8: COMMANDS/DIATRIBES/LAYING TRIPS
    Arguing, debating, opposing, taking aim, scoring points, parting shots, military metaphors
    Self-talk: ‘Do this my way’

    TYPE 9: CHRONICLES/SAGAS/EPICS
    Recounting sagas, epics, generalizing, day-dreaming aloud, voicing vague notions, wondering, meandering
    Self-talk: ‘Nice ’n easy’

    Each type brings its particular art to a conversation and can add to it by natural talent. Each type also has a conversation stopper; this is how we end up blocking a healthy conversation. We can do this unconsciously when experiencing discomfort or anxiety due to our fixations.

    1. Art - Grace; Stopper - Judgment (Grace is healing, forgiveness and compassion)
    2. Art - Comfort; Stopper - Arrogance (Comfort is physical, emotional and intellectual)
    3. Art - Appreciation; Stopper - Untruth (Appreciation is maximizing strengths and minimizing weaknesses
    4. Art - Originality; Stopper - Imagination (Originality is vitality, creativity and eccentricities)
    5. Art - Education; Stopper - Cynicism (Education is teaching, listening and learning)
    6. Art - Awareness; Stopper - Rejection (Awareness is noticing thoughts, choices, and emotions in ourselves and in others)
    7. Art - Joy; Stopper - Distractions (Joy is growing into the extraordinary possibilities of being alive)
    8. Art - Trust; Stopper - Intimidation (Trust is built with equality and leadership)
    9. Art - Acceptance; Stopper - Withdrawal (Acceptance is being available, welcoming and engaging)


    However, we also need conversation stoppers to help set reasonable limits, establish personal boundaries, and protect us from unhealthy conversations (which are boundary violating). When stoppers they are used to relate to others, they are poisonous, and lend to poor quality conversations.

    1. We need judgment to determine what is and isn't helpful.
    2. We need arrogance to speak up for ourselves.
    3. We need untruth to avoid truth paralysis so that we can move forward.
    4. We need imagination to give us a broader perspective.
    5. We need cynicism/skepticism to test what is said.
    6. We need to reject putdowns and excuses.
    7. We need distractions to open us to new possibilities.
    8. We need intimidation to forcefully end a conversation on the spot.
    9. We need to withdraw physically, emotionally or mentally when we face discouragement.

    Types Myths and Facts

    Type 1 Myth: Ones are “neat freaks” and are inflexible.
    Fact: What Ones rigidly adhere to and judge as right or wrong depends on the content of each one's internal standards, which can vary greatly. Thus, for example, if a One holds the standard that being flexible is the right way to be and maintaining neatness and order is a waste of time, then that person will not be particularly neat and will be judgmental about the inflexibility of others.

    Type 2 Myth: Twos just give to get and underneath are very needy.
    Fact: Twos often give generously and only appear extra-needy because they repress so much need and desire, making them appear extra “thirsty” or needy.

    Type 3 Myth: Threes care only about their own ...
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