Self-improvement

Rasputin · 03-15-2010, 04:25 AM

How do you guys conceive of self-improvement?

Thanks Arthur · 03-15-2010, 06:06 AM

overcoming personal dysfunctions that have a negative influence on your relationships.

silverchris9 · 03-15-2010, 07:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Brian

overcoming personal dysfunctions that have a negative influence on your relationships.

Huh. I quite agree with that definition actually. That's kind of amazingly accurate (especially with my little Christianizing addition that counts the relationship with God as one of your relationships).

Joy · 03-15-2010, 07:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Brian

overcoming personal dysfunctions that have a negative influence on your relationships.

If those relationship were based on your insecurities.

Thanks Arthur · 03-15-2010, 07:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Joy

If those relationship were based on your insecurities.

What do you mean?

Thanks Arthur · 03-15-2010, 11:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Huginn

Only relationships? Not work/study/health/engagement (not in the marital sense)/sense of meaning or fulfilment?

*snaps fingers*. Maybe that's why my life is so hollow and empty! I'm never disappointed in myself for not working harder, studying more, engaging with greater causes or the world around me, and I don't feel any particular lack of (and thus a desire for) a sense of meaning or fulfilment, as these things are just really alien to me and not a part of my world.

I am, however, disappointed with myself routinely for being seemingly unable to maintain my relationships, either through not paying attention to them, or having them quietly strangled because I struggle to express myself.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Huginn

emotional wellbeing

Quality of relationships = quality of life. It isn't the only component, but the other elements you can really look after yourself.

FDG · 03-15-2010, 12:16 PM

"You gotta make the money first"
"Then when you get the money, you get the power"
"Then when you get the power, Then you get the woman"

[Ice-T]
The problem is you broke, You ain't got no car or job
You slow with youer hustle, You dress like a slob
Ladies ain't looking for no brothers like this
They want the dub-twisting ballers with the ice on their wrist
You gotta get your cash right to get in the game
Might have to pull a pistol, Flip some caine
Get out in them streets and hustle hard in the rain
Take your come up and reinvest to the game
"You gotta make the money first"
You need a lot to go far
What you think is rich, I just spent on a car
What you think is paid, I just blew on a watch
What you think is wealthy, I just dropped on a yacht
Flip the street cash and try to pick some stocks
Kick back in your pad and watch it roll like crops
But it really ain't that easy, Or we all would be rich
One mistake, You're broke, The come up's a bitch
Make the right moves and forget about sleep
concentrate on the paper chase, Join the elite
Few dun got mad cash and money to spend
Money to straight blow and money to lend
And only then, You made it past stage one, My friend

[Chorus 2x]

[Ice-T]
Now you got the money and the cash flow thick
But you really ain't nothing but a richer trick
Just because you're paid, you can still get thick
By your low life homies or skanless bitch
You gotta move it around, put it in the right hands
Maybe a judge, Make a PA your friend
Understand what really moves the world
Recognize what really moves these girls
Juice is more important than cash for real
Money you spend, But true power you feel
It ain't that easy to reach
Respect is about the hardest damn thing in the streets to get
Make your moves correct, Watch your crew
Watch your back, They watching you
Anybody round you has gotta be true
Or you never make it past stage two
Listen, when you get the real true power, You know
People will feel you, Wherever you go
And when you really max this game
You'll never have to say your name

[Chorus]

[Ice-T]
Now you got the power, It's on, My friend
Cuz the one thing women love is powerful men
The one thing women hate are brothers that bend
They act like they like 'em, But they only pretend
They wanna be with that man in the V.I.
They don't wanna stand in line
You outta your mind?
That other player's got cash, But no juice
Cuz the powerful men get to choose
From a multitude of women that be steppin in crews
Willing to do much more than before
Give you quick brains, It's insane
Just what the woman'll do just for you
Cuz if you got the power, Then they gets it too
If you rollin benz, Then they rollin too
If you livin phat, Then they ballin too
That sounds stupid to you, Not to me
They winning one move when it takes us three
Cars, Big houses, And shopping sprees
While most of us see the penitentiary

Joy · 03-15-2010, 02:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Brian

What do you mean?

I've recently realized that every romantic relationship I've ever had (or even considered) has been based on trying to cover for some insecurity of mine. (I'm guessing this is probably true of like 95% of the population.) Once I fix it, I no longer need (or want) that relationship anymore. I need to base relationships/attraction on something other than insecurities, doubts, fears, and flaws.

Blaze · 03-15-2010, 08:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Joy

I've recently realized that every romantic relationship I've ever had (or even considered) has been based on trying to cover for some insecurity of mine. (I'm guessing this is probably true of like 95% of the population.) Once I fix it, I no longer need (or want) that relationship anymore. I need to base relationships/attraction on something other than insecurities, doubts, fears, and flaws.

??? huh? how's that joy? i guess i missed something when you changed your type.

dunno, your answer seems kind of black and white. for myself i get into relationships for a multitude of reasons usually...and i have found that when i look back on the decisions i've made, i realize that i've always made the right decision at the time, the best one i could have made. so, when i realize that, then i start to realize that the people on my path are there for a reason and that my path....is the path less travelled. as an entp that life path totally makes sense.

if you are an estp....what is the meaning of the people on your path for you and your life? for them and their lives? and what does your being an estp have to do with it?

Rasputin · 03-15-2010, 10:52 PM

I relate to neglecting the role of relationships in my life. It's easy to focus on tasks and work because it is a way to avoid making oneself vulnerable, which means that you don't have to risk being hurt, rejected, or criticized for not having to offer emotionally what another person might want and/or need. I really have problems with Fe type people who expect a lot of intimacy and connection at the expsense of independence and objectivity.

FDG · 03-15-2010, 11:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rasputin

I relate to neglecting the role of relationships in my life. It's easy to focus on tasks and work because it is a way to avoid making oneself vulnerable, which means that you don't have to risk being hurt, rejected, or criticized for not having to offer emotionally what another person might want and/or need. I really have problems with Fe type people who expect a lot of intimacy and connection at the expsense of independence and objectivity.

What about my post?

Maritsa33 · 03-15-2010, 11:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rasputin

I relate to neglecting the role of relationships in my life. It's easy to focus on tasks and work because it is a way to avoid making oneself vulnerable, which means that you don't have to risk being hurt, rejected, or criticized for not having to offer emotionally what another person might want and/or need. I really have problems with Fe type people who expect a lot of intimacy and connection at the expsense of independence and objectivity.

Consider ENTp for you please.

Rasputin · 03-15-2010, 11:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FDG

What about my post?

Success is important, but being rich isn't.

Ryu · 03-16-2010, 02:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Joy

I've recently realized that every romantic relationship I've ever had (or even considered) has been based on trying to cover for some insecurity of mine. (I'm guessing this is probably true of like 95% of the population.) Once I fix it, I no longer need (or want) that relationship anymore. I need to base relationships/attraction on something other than insecurities, doubts, fears, and flaws.

Yeah, a lot of people are that way honestly. They just don't realize it.

Joy · 03-16-2010, 05:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blaze

??? huh? how's that joy? i guess i missed something when you changed your type.

dunno, your answer seems kind of black and white. for myself i get into relationships for a multitude of reasons usually...and i have found that when i look back on the decisions i've made, i realize that i've always made the right decision at the time, the best one i could have made. so, when i realize that, then i start to realize that the people on my path are there for a reason and that my path....is the path less travelled. as an entp that life path totally makes sense.

if you are an estp....what is the meaning of the people on your path for you and your life? for them and their lives? and what does your being an estp have to do with it?

Now I'm confused.

Where did this "path" talk come from?

BulletsAndDoves · 03-16-2010, 02:42 PM

If you go to workshops/therapy/message boards to hear people bitch at you that you need to change your own life, and only you can do it- it is contradictory and hypocritical. It's not self-help, in other words. It's you being helped.

Why would you tell somebody things they already know? Smart people tend to have the most fucked up problems because of how aware we are, how much we intellectually know everything, but emotionally and socially we're still lost. I don't think a lie to make people feel a bit better is all that harmful.

If you try to help, including even saying 'you need to help yourself' (which is a form of help) you always end up making things worse. But of course, obviously, the people who run those meetings don't really care, they just are taking advantage of your emotional weakness and you're letting them. lol

And btw it's not true that 'nobody cares', the people who do care will probably just be quiet like you and not tell you what to do so much. I think that sort of power shakes you up?

BulletsAndDoves · 03-16-2010, 02:47 PM

The very notion that you need help (Unless it's something physical or corporeal), is offensive to me.

The very notion that other people think they can help (again, unless it's something that's actually physically real - and again whats the point cuz america is a free country, we're spoiled and educated enough to know whats what?) is even more offensive.

If you're helped, by anything, it will be organic. It will just happen.

Blaze · 03-17-2010, 10:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Joy

Now I'm confused.

Where did this "path" talk come from?

you're a smart woman, why are you confused? my statements are clear enough...you seem to be beating yourself up about relationships and attributing negative motivations for getting into relationships. it's not self supporting nor is it particularly true.

how do you understand the meaning of the people in your life? what purposes have you served for them and what purposes have they served for you? how do these experiences fit into your spiritual purpose on the planet? what's the bigger picture here? and what growth does your experience nudge you towards?

you can ask me about "where this comes from" as if you don't understand what i'm talking about or you can think it through. either way, i've given you some of my time and thought, in response to what you posted.

03-15-2010, 04:25 AM	#1 (permalink)
Rasputin Junior Member Join Date: Mar 2010 Posts: 77	Self-improvement How do you guys conceive of self-improvement?

03-15-2010, 06:06 AM	#2 (permalink)
Thanks Arthur THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Perth, Australia Sociotype: Se-SEI 9w8 sx/sp Posts: 5,058 Blog Entries: 3	overcoming personal dysfunctions that have a negative influence on your relationships. __________________ Watch out for falling rock monsters and rocks that turn into monsters. C// This link contains extraverted ethics. 9w8-4w5-7w6 sx/sp Hartman Yellow/White Oldham Mercurial/Self-Sacrificing Nohari

03-15-2010, 12:16 PM	#7 (permalink)
FDG the I among PIGS Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Venice, Italy Posts: 11,672	"You gotta make the money first" "Then when you get the money, you get the power" "Then when you get the power, Then you get the woman" [Ice-T] The problem is you broke, You ain't got no car or job You slow with youer hustle, You dress like a slob Ladies ain't looking for no brothers like this They want the dub-twisting ballers with the ice on their wrist You gotta get your cash right to get in the game Might have to pull a pistol, Flip some caine Get out in them streets and hustle hard in the rain Take your come up and reinvest to the game "You gotta make the money first" You need a lot to go far What you think is rich, I just spent on a car What you think is paid, I just blew on a watch What you think is wealthy, I just dropped on a yacht Flip the street cash and try to pick some stocks Kick back in your pad and watch it roll like crops But it really ain't that easy, Or we all would be rich One mistake, You're broke, The come up's a bitch Make the right moves and forget about sleep concentrate on the paper chase, Join the elite Few dun got mad cash and money to spend Money to straight blow and money to lend And only then, You made it past stage one, My friend [Chorus 2x] [Ice-T] Now you got the money and the cash flow thick But you really ain't nothing but a richer trick Just because you're paid, you can still get thick By your low life homies or skanless bitch You gotta move it around, put it in the right hands Maybe a judge, Make a PA your friend Understand what really moves the world Recognize what really moves these girls Juice is more important than cash for real Money you spend, But true power you feel It ain't that easy to reach Respect is about the hardest damn thing in the streets to get Make your moves correct, Watch your crew Watch your back, They watching you Anybody round you has gotta be true Or you never make it past stage two Listen, when you get the real true power, You know People will feel you, Wherever you go And when you really max this game You'll never have to say your name [Chorus] [Ice-T] Now you got the power, It's on, My friend Cuz the one thing women love is powerful men The one thing women hate are brothers that bend They act like they like 'em, But they only pretend They wanna be with that man in the V.I. They don't wanna stand in line You outta your mind? That other player's got cash, But no juice Cuz the powerful men get to choose From a multitude of women that be steppin in crews Willing to do much more than before Give you quick brains, It's insane Just what the woman'll do just for you Cuz if you got the power, Then they gets it too If you rollin benz, Then they rollin too If you livin phat, Then they ballin too That sounds stupid to you, Not to me They winning one move when it takes us three Cars, Big houses, And shopping sprees While most of us see the penitentiary __________________ ENTj 7w8

03-16-2010, 02:42 PM	#16 (permalink)
BulletsAndDoves Rainbow mage Join Date: May 2007 Location: MI Posts: 5,045 Blog Entries: 7	If you go to workshops/therapy/message boards to hear people bitch at you that you need to change your own life, and only you can do it- it is contradictory and hypocritical. It's not self-help, in other words. It's you being helped. Why would you tell somebody things they already know? Smart people tend to have the most fucked up problems because of how aware we are, how much we intellectually know everything, but emotionally and socially we're still lost. I don't think a lie to make people feel a bit better is all that harmful. If you try to help, including even saying 'you need to help yourself' (which is a form of help) you always end up making things worse. But of course, obviously, the people who run those meetings don't really care, they just are taking advantage of your emotional weakness and you're letting them. lol And btw it's not true that 'nobody cares', the people who do care will probably just be quiet like you and not tell you what to do so much. I think that sort of power shakes you up? __________________ , IEI/INFp, 6w5

03-16-2010, 02:47 PM	#17 (permalink)
BulletsAndDoves Rainbow mage Join Date: May 2007 Location: MI Posts: 5,045 Blog Entries: 7	The very notion that you need help (Unless it's something physical or corporeal), is offensive to me. The very notion that other people think they can help (again, unless it's something that's actually physically real - and again whats the point cuz america is a free country, we're spoiled and educated enough to know whats what?) is even more offensive. If you're helped, by anything, it will be organic. It will just happen. __________________ , IEI/INFp, 6w5

03-15-2010, 10:52 PM	#10 (permalink)
Rasputin Junior Member Join Date: Mar 2010 Posts: 77	I relate to neglecting the role of relationships in my life. It's easy to focus on tasks and work because it is a way to avoid making oneself vulnerable, which means that you don't have to risk being hurt, rejected, or criticized for not having to offer emotionally what another person might want and/or need. I really have problems with Fe type people who expect a lot of intimacy and connection at the expsense of independence and objectivity.

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