Fi hidden agenda

WorkaholicsAnon · 03-18-2010, 09:14 PM

SLI's tell me how Fi-HA or weak Fi manifests in you. Examples! And why you do what you do. . .So mysterious and confusing. . .

lucky · 03-19-2010, 07:24 PM

Not telling people how I feel about them, even people closest to me. I assume they know, but some types of people need affirmation.

Appearing as if I don't care about anything.

Wanting to love and be open with others, but feeling an overpowering need to protect myself.

It manifests as having my deepest core desire to love everyone unconditionally, knowing that a condition of being human is that no one is perfect but everyone deserves to be loved.

The problem is that being so reserved and logical, I often don't know the best or appropriate way to express that feeling to people. If I express my feelings with words, it's usually either too little or too much, and people write me off as being insincere or reject me completely.

But I'm not that great with words, especially on the spot, and my ultimate fear is that if I share my true feelings towards people I make myself vulnerable. Yet the older I get, I'm becoming less concerned with what's "appropriate", and I also begin to realize that another condition of being human is vulnerability.

My most effective way of expressing feelings are by actions and my dedication to those closest to me.

Cyrano · 03-19-2010, 07:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lucky

It manifests as having my deepest core desire to love everyone unconditionally, knowing that a condition of being human is that no one is perfect but everyone deserves to be loved.

The problem is that being so reserved and logical, I often don't know the best or appropriate way to express that feeling to people. If I express my feelings with words, it's usually either too little or too much, and people write me off as being insincere.

But I'm not that great with words, especially on the spot, and my ultimate fear is that if I share my true feelings towards people I make myself vulnerable. Yet the older I get, the less I'm concerned with what's "appropriate", and I also begin to realize that another condition of being human is vulnerability.

My most effective way of expressing feelings are by actions and my dedication to those closest to me.

Well put.

WorkaholicsAnon · 03-19-2010, 07:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lucky

Not telling people how I feel about them, even people closest to me. I assume they know, but some types of people need affirmation.

Appearing as if I don't care about anything.

Wanting to love and be open with others, but feeling an overpowering need to protect myself.

It manifests as having my deepest core desire to love everyone unconditionally, knowing that a condition of being human is that no one is perfect but everyone deserves to be loved.

The problem is that being so reserved and logical, I often don't know the best or appropriate way to express that feeling to people. If I express my feelings with words, it's usually either too little or too much, and people write me off as being insincere or reject me completely.

But I'm not that great with words, especially on the spot, and my ultimate fear is that if I share my true feelings towards people I make myself vulnerable. Yet the older I get, I'm becoming less concerned with what's "appropriate", and I also begin to realize that another condition of being human is vulnerability.

My most effective way of expressing feelings are by actions and my dedication to those closest to me.

matilda · 03-19-2010, 07:48 PM

quick question. that could also be Fe-DS, am I right?

WorkaholicsAnon · 03-19-2010, 08:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by matilda

quick question. that could also be Fe-DS, am I right?

That brings up an interesting issue--

would the dual seeking function be more of an oblivious need and the HA be more of a need and want?

I dont know the answer to this, would anyone care to comment?

thePirate · 03-19-2010, 09:12 PM

I went through a few fi hidden agenda threads and theres a sufficient lack of concrete examples. instead of just agreeing,(cyrano) putting individual interpretations of your ha, how it exists in your mind and manifests in your behavior would be great. enfps here generally seem to be lost when it comes to you guys and the lack of things like this is part of the reason whyy.

they needeth you

03-19-2010, 09:31 PM

Perhaps I will discuss this some other time. ***how mysterious***

lucky · 03-19-2010, 09:43 PM

Now I'm kind of lost.

Isn't dual-seeking the 5th function, which would be Ne for an SLI?

I certainly don't seek out Fe. I'm too independent to want someone telling me what's emotionally appropriate.

03-19-2010, 09:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lucky

Now I'm kind of lost.

Isn't dual-seeking the 5th function, which would be Ne for an SLI?

I certainly don't seek out Fe. I'm too independent to want someone telling me what's emotionally appropriate.

In a way it doesn't matter. The whole of the type is actually greater than the sum of it's parts.

lucky · 03-19-2010, 09:56 PM

Well that was certainly insightful.

But in a way it does matter, as I was addressing the question in posts 5 and 6.

matilda · 03-19-2010, 10:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lucky

Not telling people how I feel about them, even people closest to me. I assume they know, but some types of people need affirmation.

Appearing as if I don't care about anything.

Wanting to love and be open with others, but feeling an overpowering need to protect myself.

It manifests as having my deepest core desire to love everyone unconditionally, knowing that a condition of being human is that no one is perfect but everyone deserves to be loved.

The problem is that being so reserved and logical, I often don't know the best or appropriate way to express that feeling to people. If I express my feelings with words, it's usually either too little or too much, and people write me off as being insincere or reject me completely.

But I'm not that great with words, especially on the spot, and my ultimate fear is that if I share my true feelings towards people I make myself vulnerable. Yet the older I get, I'm becoming less concerned with what's "appropriate", and I also begin to realize that another condition of being human is vulnerability.

My most effective way of expressing feelings are by actions and my dedication to those closest to me.

I was just wondering if these things overlapped with Fe-DS/Fe-HA in XLEs and LXIs. Not related to the OP sorry

aixelsyd · 03-19-2010, 10:18 PM

With duals or people I care about, generally (depending on the person and their type):

When I glare at them and call them stupid, it means I am concerned for their well being and wish they would do the same. It can also be a playful form of affection. This of course depends on the person and on our relationship. Some people I treat with the utmost respect and courtesy all the time, but usually the one' I can banter with are the ones I have the closest bond with and feel the most affection for. Maybe this has to do with Gulenko's ILI-Ni description of such tormenting or toying with their object of affection (platonic or otherwise, I think).

How it manifests is tough to describe. I know in the case of Fi bonds, I think about the other person a lot, worry about them, I tend to keep my emotions to myself unless they are being stupid. Hmm...I mentioned stuff about being playful in a sort of rough and vulgar way, but not too much so.

It manifests in a lot of different ways and in a lot of different areas so it's hard to pin point. But things or people you care about are such that you retain the most information about. Events, conversations, and such kind of remain embedded in my memory and I am prone towards turning it all over in my mind for a long time. At the same time, I work my actions around whatever it is that has become important to me personally. But I guess I operate like a ninja at the same time...subtle, stealthy, but keenly aware of my goal.

I also feel a sense of ethics is important but have a hard time really living by my principles or even figuring out what my principles are. I am prone towards adopting other principles I can agree with without really finding my own...which is problematic in many ways.

Things that are really important to me in an Fi sense are also things that I feel I always retain in some way. Like I don't forget a good deed, kind word, or an important person or an important memory. It's always in my memory and I often review these things periodically. I also have a hard time letting go of negative impressions as well, but the positive ones are the ones that have an even stronger hold on me.

A lot of the times, things I do for myself are for other people, too. Or are influenced by that.

lucky · 03-19-2010, 10:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by aixelsyd

I also feel a sense of ethics is important but have a hard time really living by my principles or even figuring out what my principles are. I am prone towards adopting other principles I can agree with without really finding my own...which is problematic in many ways.

This has always been an issue for me.

I'm very impressionable with it comes to ethical principles. If I can reason it, I can believe in it.

Tomorrow, I can find new information and have a reason to no longer believe in it, and throw it away like that.

I certainly don't derive a sense of identity from Fi - I can't because there's no consistency.

But I certainly have an admiration for those who stick to their guns.

WorkaholicsAnon · 03-20-2010, 02:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by thePirate

I went through a few fi hidden agenda threads and theres a sufficient lack of concrete examples. instead of just agreeing,(cyrano) putting individual interpretations of your ha, how it exists in your mind and manifests in your behavior would be great. enfps here generally seem to be lost when it comes to you guys and the lack of things like this is part of the reason whyy.

they needeth you

I second this! Thank you pirate, you're not so bad after all.

(well you're the unsung genius actually!

)

WorkaholicsAnon · 03-20-2010, 02:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cyclops

Perhaps I will discuss this some other time. ***how mysterious***

Can't keep all your secrets to yourself cyclops!

WorkaholicsAnon · 03-20-2010, 02:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cyclops

In a way it doesn't matter. The whole of the type is actually greater than the sum of it's parts.

all right, control yourself and your huge head

WorkaholicsAnon · 03-20-2010, 02:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by aixelsyd

With duals or people I care about, generally (depending on the person and their type):

When I glare at them and call them stupid, it means I am concerned for their well being and wish they would do the same. It can also be a playful form of affection. This of course depends on the person and on our relationship. Some people I treat with the utmost respect and courtesy all the time, but usually the one' I can banter with are the ones I have the closest bond with and feel the most affection for. Maybe this has to do with Gulenko's ILI-Ni description of such tormenting or toying with their object of affection (platonic or otherwise, I think).

How it manifests is tough to describe. I know in the case of Fi bonds, I think about the other person a lot, worry about them, I tend to keep my emotions to myself unless they are being stupid. Hmm...I mentioned stuff about being playful in a sort of rough and vulgar way, but not too much so.

It manifests in a lot of different ways and in a lot of different areas so it's hard to pin point. But things or people you care about are such that you retain the most information about. Events, conversations, and such kind of remain embedded in my memory and I am prone towards turning it all over in my mind for a long time. At the same time, I work my actions around whatever it is that has become important to me personally. But I guess I operate like a ninja at the same time...subtle, stealthy, but keenly aware of my goal.

I also feel a sense of ethics is important but have a hard time really living by my principles or even figuring out what my principles are. I am prone towards adopting other principles I can agree with without really finding my own...which is problematic in many ways.

Things that are really important to me in an Fi sense are also things that I feel I always retain in some way. Like I don't forget a good deed, kind word, or an important person or an important memory. It's always in my memory and I often review these things periodically. I also have a hard time letting go of negative impressions as well, but the positive ones are the ones that have an even stronger hold on me.

A lot of the times, things I do for myself are for other people, too. Or are influenced by that.

Re: the bolded, I do the SAME thing!!! So it must be an Fi-valuing thing not just an Fi-HA thing. OR i'm SLI

aixelsyd · 03-20-2010, 03:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WorkaholicsAnon

Re: the bolded, I do the SAME thing!!! So it must be an Fi-valuing thing not just an Fi-HA thing. OR i'm SLI

Well, I'm not SLI for one.

It may be a combination of Fi and being so in touch with intuition. I don't know how SLIs see this. But you asked about Fi HA so I gave it from an ILI POV.

jessica129 · 03-20-2010, 08:20 AM

Holy emoticons batman

03-18-2010, 09:14 PM	#1 (permalink)
WorkaholicsAnon Distinguished Member Join Date: Sep 2009 Posts: 1,356	Fi hidden agenda SLI's tell me how Fi-HA or weak Fi manifests in you. Examples! And why you do what you do. . .So mysterious and confusing. . . __________________ Fi-IEE

03-20-2010, 08:20 AM	#20 (permalink)
jessica129 Forum Addict Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: U.S Posts: 6,987 Blog Entries: 3	Holy emoticons batman __________________ Beta something

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03-19-2010, 07:24 PM	#2 (permalink)
lucky Initiate Join Date: Mar 2010 Posts: 5	Not telling people how I feel about them, even people closest to me. I assume they know, but some types of people need affirmation. Appearing as if I don't care about anything. Wanting to love and be open with others, but feeling an overpowering need to protect myself. It manifests as having my deepest core desire to love everyone unconditionally, knowing that a condition of being human is that no one is perfect but everyone deserves to be loved. The problem is that being so reserved and logical, I often don't know the best or appropriate way to express that feeling to people. If I express my feelings with words, it's usually either too little or too much, and people write me off as being insincere or reject me completely. But I'm not that great with words, especially on the spot, and my ultimate fear is that if I share my true feelings towards people I make myself vulnerable. Yet the older I get, I'm becoming less concerned with what's "appropriate", and I also begin to realize that another condition of being human is vulnerability. My most effective way of expressing feelings are by actions and my dedication to those closest to me.

03-19-2010, 07:48 PM	#5 (permalink)
matilda Member Join Date: Aug 2009 Posts: 163	quick question. that could also be Fe-DS, am I right?

03-19-2010, 09:12 PM	#7 (permalink)
thePirate Lost One Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Pinocchios Nightmares Sociotype: Fe-IEI Posts: 1,416	I went through a few fi hidden agenda threads and theres a sufficient lack of concrete examples. instead of just agreeing,(cyrano) putting individual interpretations of your ha, how it exists in your mind and manifests in your behavior would be great. enfps here generally seem to be lost when it comes to you guys and the lack of things like this is part of the reason whyy. they needeth you

03-19-2010, 09:31 PM	#8 (permalink)
Creepy-Cyclops Posts: n/a	Perhaps I will discuss this some other time. *how mysterious*

03-19-2010, 09:43 PM	#9 (permalink)
lucky Initiate Join Date: Mar 2010 Posts: 5	Now I'm kind of lost. Isn't dual-seeking the 5th function, which would be Ne for an SLI? I certainly don't seek out Fe. I'm too independent to want someone telling me what's emotionally appropriate.

03-19-2010, 09:56 PM	#11 (permalink)
lucky Initiate Join Date: Mar 2010 Posts: 5	Well that was certainly insightful. But in a way it does matter, as I was addressing the question in posts 5 and 6.