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Wikisocion - Vera Stratiyevskaya
How can relations of two "Don Juans" unfold where one of them is the husband and the other is the wife?
The correspondence of views in this dyad sometimes manifests in a very interesting manner: for example, living for several years in an identical marriage, spouses, for both of whom this was a second union, almost simultaneously came to the conclusion that the relative constancy and the need to respect spousal fidelity is rather burdensome for them. In this regard, they proposed to one another (again, almost simultaneously) to have "open relations" and not deny themselves in the possibility to have intimate relationships "on the side". Such proposal suited both spouses, thus both agreed to it with enthusiasm.
Since then so it went: she had her friends, he had his friends. Joint plans for the evening were negotiated in advance. Individual plans were declared spontaneously: "I won't be spending night at home today. I'll be busy." Busy where, with whom – neither of them would ask such questions. This couple had long ago established a tradition to not delve into such inquiries. Some form of balance was maintained between them by the fact that each tried to keep up with this partner in the intensity of their entertainment and lavishness of their experiences. In this respect, these spouses didn't have any prohibitions.
It wasn't ruled out and nobody was shocked even by "group pastime" – each of them saw this just as a more sophisticated form of interaction, which involved a more sophisticated culture and communication. Thus they would say: "Our friends are good and respectable people", since their friends would also take part in their "family games" and were usually aware of how these spouses spent their leisure time. Their children (girl 10 years of age, and boy - 6) are not yet in the knowledge of the "sophisticated entertainment" of their parents. They are fine and even welcoming of the phone calls of "casual friends".
Neither of the spouses makes a secret of their open family relations. Both of them believe that this form of marriage is more harmonious, optimal, convenient and mutually beneficial for both of them – the pragmatism of identical relations manifests even in such unexpected forms.
Both partners believe that in this manner equality is established between them, and their mutual rights and obligations are balanced out. Each of them entertains himself for however much time and his strengths allow, and nobody is offended. Each also makes a contribution to the family that corresponds to his duties, and each is entitled to the amount of leisure that he is able to provide for himself.
Despite the abundance of refined pleasures, one look at their family is sufficient to realize that they lack proper standards and norms sensing. The problem here isn't in the distribution of chores and responsibilities – both of them could deal with these more or less – the problem is in overflow and abuse of sensual entertainments and gratifications that are destroying them both morally and physically.
Is this the example where the interaction of identical partners leads to eventual degradation? Well, it is safe to say that they have started between them a very dangerous game that won't be beneficial to their intellectual and physical evolution.
"Don Juans" of the opposite sex rarely come together. Usually they attempt to "out-play" each other intuitively, try to figure out the other while taking care not to reveal much of themselves. The marriage given as an example above apparently took place under conditions of blatant pragmatism: first, mutually convenient "conditions" were discussed, and then on the basis of this agreement their relationship came into existence. Both the husband and the wife here recognize that such an arrangement is convenient for both them. Both also realize that such accord in their relations as they have achieved is due to having many coinciding views and beliefs. In essence, this is interaction of two like-minded allies who have found for themselves a suitable and bonding "hobby". Nevertheless, they are still quite disconnected and distanced from each other.
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