machine translation-further translation needed
IEI – INFp – Esenin (Ni-Fe)
LSE – ESTj – Shtirlitz (Te-Si)
1. INFp-ESTj. General description of conflict relations.
First thing that comes to mind with this conflict dyad is the stereotype of a callous "man - machine" Shtirlits who persecutes a delicate and soulful person such as Esenin. A scene emerges right before your eyes of soulless "owner" Soames Forsyte* who suffocates with his "iron" construction the gentle and romantic Irene (who, as the reader probably knows, got married for convenience, while her husband refused to be physically intimate with her and had a lover on the side).
* [The Forsyte Saga]
But let us digress for the time being and forget about the literary personages and the way this conflict transpires in the homes of English ladies and gentlemen. Let us examine how it happens on our Russian soil.
Here, just as in any other conflict dyad, at first everything that happens is seemingly charming and tender. Fragile and delicate IEI, who with his or her modestly and softness is vaguely reminiscent of an EII, initially makes the most favorable impression on the LSE: "If you had seen the face of this person – it's the face of an angel!"
From the other end, the LSE seems to the IEI to be an ideal partner – strong, courageous, hard-working, willing to offer his help and support. And who if not the IEI is in need of such support? After all, he needs care and protection more than anyone else, and his whole lifetime he looks for someone strong, reliable and caring. (Sometimes even plainly admitting it: "Others have someone for themselves... but I don't have anyone.")
Building his relations, the IEI is mindful of the personal qualities and social position of others. Here, much depends on IEI's self-esteem and his perception of his own position in the social system. An ambitious and confident IEI is going to seek "improvement" of his current position and look for partners who are able to contribute a lot to their mutual relations, who have much to share, who are ready to extend their favor, which the IEI accepts with much gratitude and encourages in every way. An IEI with a low self-esteem or lacking in ambition will make social acquaintance with those of modest standing and means, cultivate traits of self-sacrifice and willingness to share and encourage tendencies to work without rest.
The charm of the early stage of these relations is primarily by IEI's ability to beautifully and romantically court the partner of his heart, to create an environment uninhibited and carefree enjoyment. The IEI, as no other type, is able to relax another person, even his conflictor, and especially at the early stages when relations are still fresh and light. But the LSE belongs to the type of people who relax very rarely and with particular difficulty. Therefore, this whole romantic "extravaganza", all these sweet "nightingale serenades" start to frighten the LSE and cause concern because they start to eat up his time, which is a valuable resource. Feeling that Esenin is doing something wasteful and unnecessary, Shtirlits starts to rudely interrupt him, destroying his daydreams and romantic atmosphere, with which he evokes an outcry and dissatisfaction with his conflictor, and provokes accusations in his address: "You're such a cruel and callous person. This is why you're not liked by anyone." It is obvious that such statements are not the balm for the soul of Shtirlits. Negative attitude towards himself, as well as the negative characterizations, Shtirlits receives with much pain, since the aspect of ethics of relations is his suggestive function.
The IEI notices this and other vulnerable spots of the LSE and, with characteristic for him as an involutionary type subconscious tendency for destruction of all that is unreliable and unstable, starts to focus on these points and exert destructive influence on them.
(In Beta quadra, it is enough to be somehow "not like others", to enter your home from the "wrong entrance", to buy food and clothes at the "wrong store" to be subjected to the most severe criticism, examination and cruel judgement. In Aristocratic quadras, it is dangerous to fall into an "embarrassing situation" because this will always make such a person be subjected to "informational warfare". And if, moreover, the person "lags behind" or "veers off the track", then this is a good reason to push him down even further, to trample him, considering him as an annoying hindrance on the path of society, a hindrance that must be eliminated.)
Trying to compare successes and achievements with Stirlitz, Esenin will in equal measures relax and take jabs over LSE's personal opinion and over the views of their milieu (deprecate him according to logic of relations), understate his achievements, depress his self-esteem, bring up and talk about his failures (sometimes more fictional rather than real), which later allows him to turn the situation around, to activate on its basis and come to fully believe in it himself, and then to further reprimand Shtirlits on basis of any context, to squeeze him to the sidelines as "superfluous" or "weak link" in the system, to drive him out of general plans and prospects for "not being necessary", referring to him as a failure, who will only perish because he was already late everywhere and has missed everything, and what he hasn't missed he allows to be taken away, asked or demanded of him, if only there was a desire to further suppress him and make him work for a return.
This, of course, refers to the problematic aspect of LSE: Ni – "intuition of time". The IEI will point out that the LSE is lagging behind on all counts, that he misses everything and is late everywhere, even if the LSE tries to avoid this with all his efforts.
The IEI is able to absorb his own and other people's time, delaying it if he sees it fit. He always has as much time as he needs (from the outside it seems even more than enough) and his main problem is to use up this time well. The LSE doesn't have extra time. He doesn't have enough of it even for the most basic things, which serves as a cause for particularly poignant criticism and ridicule from his conflictor, who will often comment: "All this hustle is very unnerving. Even your hands are shaking, when you're in a hurry. It's unpleasant to watch this ... you don't finish anything on time ... "
While these partners interact at a large interpersonal distance, and each does his or her own thing, the conflict between them does not take a particularly acute form. Although tensions will still mount: if they are part of the same group the IEI will want to get to know the LSE, to relate to him and to learn what his he doing and of his accomplishments and achievements, and of course he'll want to share some of his own events and concerns. Most of the problems and frustrations arise when they start cohabiting in some way and when the need will arise to distribute their rights and responsibilities. When for the very first time the IEI feels a reluctance to take up some task or chore, and, simultaneously, feels his complex of not being put into a disadvantage triggered, he will begin a persistent and debilitating struggle for a dominant place in the system, a struggle for concessions, compromises and privileges. As a result of this it can happen that all the rights will remain with Esenin and all obligations will fall to Shtirlits. Esenin, as an irrational flexible ethical type, bases his legal privileges on a tricky ethical background and points out to Shtirlits what he has the right to do and where he has crossed the line. Shtirlits, having suggestive ethics of relations, accepts this, even though he feels that his partner is not doing something right.
After negotiating his rights, Esenin agrees to take on some responsibilities, which after some time Shtirlits will take onto his own shoulders.
Why? Because Shtirlists will find fault with everything that Esenin does. And Shtirlits, as a person who values quality in work, will not be able to accept such state of affairs in any shape or form. Work that was done poorly in his opinion depresses him, and constitutes what he perceives to be outright sabotage, which he thinks of as the gravest crime that must be stopped and should be punished. There is nothing worse than when a person takes on some task only to do it poorly in Shtirlits' assessment - such a person should not be entrusted with anything.
Of course, Shtirlits does not come immediately to this conclusion. Many long discussions and questions directed at his partner will follow with a request to perform certain work. To this Esenin usually replies that he is "not ready" to fulfill these requests, making it clear that he will not do this work, that it shouldn't even be assigned to him. If LSE persists, he does the job very poorly such that Shtirlits will think twice next time before giving him any work. LSE doesn't want to deal with the subsequent troubles (in the manner of revenge and punishment) and will instead begin to listen to the delicate hints Esenin and respect his personal opinion and personal right to refuse any kind of assignment. It should be mentioned that Esenin does not enter a partnership "to plow" for his partner as a workhorse, which he tries to get through to Shtirlits (as well as anyone else) by all possible ways and methods.
Sometimes such contrarian, opposing actions are not pre-planned and orchestrated, but there are unfortunate accidents according to which everything that Esenin does turns out to be hopelessly ruined and spoiled in Shtirlits' view. Everything that his hand touches instantly turns into trash and scrap. As one woman recalls: "When we moved into a new apartment, he immediately put on a freshly painted door some kind of cheesy plastic hooks without asking my opinion. Then he hung lots of heavy bags and jackets on these hooks. Of course they gave in and collapsed! Now the door is scratched and shaggy-looking, and needs to be re-painted, but this requires someone's money and time! Do you think this man has any reason in him?"
All such mishaps deliver incredible suffering for Stirlits and endless troubles. Shtirlits becomes tired to redo the tasks that were assigned to Esenin, tired of repairing (or upgrading) hopelessly ruined things. He simply has no time and no energy to devote to this. But that's not all his troubles. Every week, every day, his partner brings him more of these unpleasant surprises: first he was sent to pay the bills and did not fill the paperwork correctly resulting in a debt over utilities, then he was sent out shopping but did not bring home the right produce. As one woman recalls: "We were preparing to move to our country house. I sent him (Esenin) to a nearby store to buy new mattresses and pillows. He spent all the money on two plush bathrobes ... He explained this to the fact that he could not decide which color will be more fitting, so he decided to buy both bathrobes, to not regret about his choice later."
Of course, it might be that Esenin misunderstands something in the instructions given to him by LSE and in how to carry out his job. You have to agree that when sending a person to a store, you cannot describe all that he should purchase, and additionally all the things that he shouldn't purchase. Then he won't see any limits to spending the money! And then, it is unpleasant to constantly remind him that the remaining money should be brought back home, and not hidden in his pockets and to spend as his whim. The main aspect of involutionary intuition of time (-Ni) encourages Esenin to conduct bold experiments when opportunities arise and accidental situations present themselves. Here he gives into the temptation to experiment and "try something different", forgetting about the responsibility to his partner, telling himself: "This time I will do as I want and look at the result, and after that I decide how to act further: do what was requested or do something else." So, of course, it's not really the impracticality of Esenin that is the matter here but his farsightedness, in his conscious desire to grab for himself as much wealth as possible, to pull to his side all the valuable, important, and useful things - that is, here again are the workings of his complex of not being put into disadvantage, to use others so that they don't use you.
This complex LSE will have to constantly counter. He sees very well that Esenin is constantly hiding something from him, concealing and saving. Esenin as a fox makes a huge amount of secret "stashes" around the house. As one woman remembers: "One time I came back home and saw him sitting on the bed, eating chocolates. "Where did you get them?" - I ask, - "We had no money in the house!" (actually I have been hiding the money from him for a long time), - "Really?" - he replied - "I didn't know, but I've found some" - and then added: "I had a stash, but now it's gone."
These "stashes" and "nest eggs" are always there. They appear because the farsighted Esenin is preparing "for a rainy day" and reserves some money in case it runs out or periods of long unemployment, which with his seeming carelessness and impracticality are all very serious problems for him. All these potential problems and changes for the worse he, of course, anticipates and prepares for. The program function of farsighted Esenin, involutional intuition of time (-Ni), includes the anticipation of global systemic changes, rearrangements, restructurings of systems, and the associated potential destruction and ruination and unpleasant consequences, from which comes mistrust, and suspicion, and a penchant for intrigue and attempts to effectively improve his affairs and situation by most inconspicuous ways. The mask of a light-hearted simpleton for Esenin is a reliable cover for his true intentions and goals: he can always say that he lost money allocated to him, or purchased some valuable and necessary thing even if was the wrong time and place for it. Absent-mindedness and impracticality - what can you do? He's just such a person!
This camouflage of carelessness allows Esenin with the most innocent look to transfer valuables into his pocket. And Shtirlits notices all of this. He feels that he is simply being stolen from but cannot do anything about this, because Esenin for his actions brings ethical underpinnings that are stunning for Shtirlits. For all he has an answer that is ready: "So I don't earn any money, and? Shouldn't I be able to take care of myself when you kick me out? I'll have to buy myself some furniture and means of transportation ... "- that is, he explicitly admits in channeling the flow of material resources in his favor and outlines his well-defined intentions.
Delicate hints that he is abusing the trust his partner and acting like a parasite have no success. In this case, it is useless to try to awaken his conscience. He openly admits: "Yes, I am a kept person, so what? And I am proud of it! It was not you who chose me - but I chose you" (which means "and I will use you"). Thus, the secret appropriation of material resources of his guardian-partner Esenin are a convenient way to receive and accumulate "kickbacks" necessary for him as a guarantee of his future prosperity. Of course, from this perspective, being a "kept person" or "parasite" is not humiliating, because all of this is pure exploitation. When the outflow of material resources causes irreparable damage to the budget of guardian-partner, such after which he can not recover his former financial situation, and Esenin accumulates more than enough "kickbacks" and "stashes" ("if you're taking, then take everything!"),Esenin considers it necessary to leave the exhausted "eco-system" that has lost its potential.
LSE's precautionary attempts to break these dangerous and uncomfortable for him relations are not always successful. Shtirlits as emotivist and objectivist type and as member of fourth quadra dominated by aspect of corporate ethics cherishes existing partnerships - even if they are painful for him. In these relations both partners are emotivists interacting on manipulate ethics and not wishing to break ethical bonds that have exhausted themselves.
Even if Shtirlits "ripens" to throw his "tormentor" out of the door, as someone who did not meet his expectations, his provident conflictor Esenin does not allow him to do so until a certain time, as he is pursuing certain objectives and building some plans that he does not allow LSE to destroy. Therefore he takes a number of precautionary measures, which include blackmail, threats, and intimidation, and the grueling psychological terrorizing with which he keeps Shtirlitsa in certain moral dependence, chains his business initiative, and does not let him to partake in main decisions and actions.
In most cases, these measures are of ethical and intuitive character.
By ethical measures and creatively combined methods of emotional pressure Esenin makes Shtirlitsa change his decisions. Here, everything comes into play: the grueling scandals that last many hours and alternate with gentleness, tenderness, affection, and wild, frenzied hysterics that alternate with a loving idyll. And when times of loving and peaceful idyllic arise, Esenin behaves in such a way that Shtirlits himself would not want to separate.
As to the intuitive measures, here Esenin actively suppresses Shtirlitsa systematically and deliberately undermining his self-esteem. With sophisticated cynicism he expresses the most negative opinions about him (about Stirlitz) including them in everything that could possibly be discussed. He always tells the LSE how poorly everyone speaks of him, about his work, his methods of leadership, about the low opinion of his professional and intellectual level, and of course needless to say his ethical level, how everyone is hurt and offended by him, how he have many enemies and how all these enemies will pounce on him as soon as he Esenin - his faithful friend and protector - leaves Shtirlits.
In such commentary of Esenin, or rather in their psychological content, Shtirlits sees everything that is happening to him in a kind of insane and distorted perspective, as if in a broken mirror.
Woman - Shtirlits by a fourteen-year marriage konflikterom fell into severe depression and turned to a psychologist to clarify her whether she really that bad, worthless, hopeless and worthless stupid people like her that every day says her husband, or are there What place - that other reasons? She spoke of her vast and productive work in a variety of scientific fields, talked about the rave reviews that caused her work with domestic and foreign experts. She told how, at the instigation of her husband she often changed specialty, as, contrary to all the reviews, he is constantly inspired her that she - a layman and worthless loser. She told me how to continually improve their skills in order to persuade her husband in the back and cause me to at least some - that his respect. She told me how to faint from exhaustion and burnout, because the day has elaborated a complete change of home and work loads, and at night engaged in self-education.
And when the psychologist, after hearing this sad confession, suggested that, apparently over her husband simply by just making fun and, most of all, doing it out of jealousy and public - that complex of inferiority (in fact it is! ) - this remark as if she did not hear a deaf ear, wondering about - what about her, and then asked, "Do you know ... He advises me to try his hand in the literature. Do you think I can do it? "
Shtirlitsa problem in the fact that he is being targeted by the merciful and compassionate (software ethics) Dostoevsky, is unaware of cruel sarcasm, by which manipulates them Yesenin, does not understand that he was making fun of him. And this is especially amused by his konfliktera. Here, truly, how to be stupid not to realize that on you being bullied? One is already making fun of him and convinces intellectual limitations of his partner. However, the fact that the essence of the fun of not captured Stirlitz - it is also quite natural: as in this case was conducted too thin and accurate sniper psychological game. In this case, Yesenin "joke" is on what is one of the leading fourth quadra values, over what to Shtirlitsa sacred and inviolable, over what stimulates and activates his professional and creative activity, filling it with life and the meaning of existence - on creative self-realization of his personality, to develop its potential. (I Shtirlitsa aspect of intuition opportunities at the position of the activation function (+ ch.i.6) and is the priority value of the dyad, and quadra, Yesenin - the positions of observation (+ ch.i.7) is repressed and despised by the value in the dyad and quadra. (in beta - quadra, where under certain conditions run rampant mediocrity, made jokes about too nimble eggheads, causing a feeling of inferiority with their success in the vast majority ("like everyone else") and ordinary everyday people.
This explains why Shtirlits could even imagine what a partner in the actions - or trick! Yes, if a person at least what intellectual qualities, though he Leonardo da Vinci (also, incidentally, Shtirlits) - even he, after a brief contact with konflikterom would have questioned their own mental abilities: how can you make fun of the fact that a person's greatest asset - on the intellectual development of his personality!
We should not think that Yesenin impunity allows himself to these dangerous game of love alone risk or out of hatred for konflikteru. Yesenin confident enough in their positions. No one will throw him out of the house until he is ready to leave it. (The same applies to the material relations: let us not forget that the accumulation of wealth and the strengthening of financial position - Suggestion Esenina and installation of its software dual dyad. So, this issue he takes very seriously.
Even leaving the house konfliktera, Yesenin does not forget about them left and taynichkah "stashes."
Lida. 37 years old, Shtirlits:
"When we went home with him, we had an agreement that he would sometimes come for their belongings - letters or books. When he left, he immediately just could not or did not have time to bring along. This agreement was a concession on my part, but too long to wait for him to gather his things and frees them from my apartment, I also could not. I'm not comfortable, I have my own plans. When I told him I was going to change the locks, he gave me a real scandal. He threatened that if I did he would break them, will flood the glue on the outside, and I can not insert the key there. I hate when my spoil things, and from there you can only expect so I decided that this would be my last assignment. We agreed that at first it will take away all their possessions, and then I change the lock. And now, for a few years, he makes statements to my house and that - something was taking. And grab their own, and others', and then disappear for any time. Keys for a long time remained with him, and out - for that, I did not feel secure in their home. I remember I was like - that came with his new friend home. The apartment is in all the rooms is a light, music rattles, the kitchen is open fridge, and my "ex", lying in bed, smoking and watching videos. Turns out he wanted me to make a surprise and was very surprised that I was not happy when he arrives. My new friend took offense and immediately left, and I still long to deal with this ... Then there was another "surprise", this time last. As it happened: he gave me a long time to persuade him to swap coffee tables. At first I did not agree, but he got me so that I - still lost. "Exchange," he also made in my absence. When I came home from work, the room was not a coffee table or large dining table. Furniture was moved and placed in a room on the - because of that. I immediately phoned him and demanded an explanation. He did not explain anything to me, but pretended to be offended and said something like: "Ugh, you're tough! What are you bitch! You never appreciate the fact that you do! You're in a room and was so close! And now you're good: spacious and cozy! I set up the table and without you all beautiful! But you never have appreciated! You - rubbish, and I do not want to talk to you, "and hung up. At that moment I was ready to kill him - came to my house, took my stuff! .. "
- What about it will tell Yesenin?
- About the following:
"Oh, this" owner "- Shtirlits! -" My house, my stuff! .. "- A human soul does not interest him? And what is going through people, who for several years had shared with him and the table, and shelter, and constantly felt that it is not today - tomorrow expelled? And he, shtirlitsu when - ever want to look into someone else's life, or he is interested in only their silver spoons to count to them it is not stolen? And the hidden secrets of someone close to him when he - ever wondered ? He was not even time to listen to them, he had no idea how close he was unhappy man, as he was alone! (Here Yesenin can allow to approach a tear in his voice.) And all because of him, shtirlitsu most importantly it property! His house, its walls, its property, Yes hang it all this property! Whether it Yesenin: he can take off the shirt itself - "to him for a good man regret nothing!" (That, at least, on Yesenin Statement says.) And these eternal accusations of incompetence and ineptitude! You would think that Shtirlitsa boundless erudition! And that ongoing training, this eternal Shtirlitsa work on yourself, this is it on purpose, to spite the other, so does that seem more intelligent and Qualified! Okay, try, learn! Want to be smarter than everyone else? It will not work - there are some - who are more cunning and you! .. "
The first trick Esenina - The first way to "tame" Shtirlitsa - a requirement leniency and concessions (the method used and Dostoevsky in dualizatsii ITO). Yesenin also interprets it differently: he takes on the role of a "spoiled child of the family," the general pet, which can not hurt. For the ethics of relations Zhukov it would be clear and simple. Zhukov convenient form for ethical "taboo" - small and weak can not hurt, strong and healthy (and most importantly, unfriendly and dangerous) - can and should be! We Shtirlitsa ethics of relations designed for other commandments and the first of them: no one has the right to speculate on their weaknesses and play on someone else's generosity. Privileged "minions" in the family (and the team) should not be: everyone pays according to his deeds, not by his claims. But Yesenin (as authoritarian aristocrat) disagrees.
(Tamara 36 years, Shtirlits)
"It so happened that the darling of our family had a husband. He himself - comes from a poor family unsecured. And I thought, yes I can,, be it what it received less as a child. In his family, he was accustomed to labor. And at first he seemed very business man. At least I tried to seem so. But when we got married I was terribly disappointed. It is simply inconceivable that the extent to which a man has nowhere lay hands! Everything goes wrong, for which neither taken, everything is broken. Down a job, he did not linger ... We decided to start with it a common cause, became engaged in business. And again, I was shocked - how he managed to confuse things! And then he was so afraid to take responsibility. One time I requested him to settle it itself created confusion with the contractors, but he was and is unable to - put me forward, he hid behind my back and said, "Well, are you still sort it out and I'll go ..." On it can not be relied upon in anything! And as I nursed him, took care of both! .. And he was pleased to know that with him coddled. Sometimes he comes to me and asks: "Little Johnny - pet?" And he himself says: "Pet". Children, we have not brought, as if he was afraid that most of the kids love to go ...
Now I understand that myself created this monster. After all, what's worth it though - that go against his will, as he immediately rolled up to fit that lay on the floor and kicked. As he hassled me about it! .. I can not forgive myself for what she has created for itself the problem! .. "
Yesenin can "beat" Shtirlitsa ethics of emotions - that it did not take away. And if he sees that what - what method allows him sharp "hit the target" would be to use it many times. Shtirlitsa this technique is amazing because that Dostoevsky uses it very rarely - rarely throwing a fit, but once groped a sore point, will practice this technique to achieve its goals. (Painful techniques used in the relations of duality and conflict in the relationship).
But the main weapon Esenina (and most importantly his "crime" in the eyes of Shtirlitsa) - is that it draws on too long. Meanwhile, for example, that a million times and asks asks, before that - or do (or rather, to do) that Shtirlitsa even worse asking reassuring, while pulling on him had hoped, but he did not.
However Shtirlits that does not know that Yesenin, who asks a hundred times - this is the perfect Yesenin (in dual dyad it is supposed to many times to ask again - and Zhukov satisfied: the partner under the supervision of, and Yesenin calm: less responsibility). Worse, when without asking Yesenin doing that - that, and made then do not fix it. This also happens. And have to disentangle shtirlitsu. (As Zhukov dual ITO. Zhukov But at the same time he blames himself - only himself to blame: not explained! And Shtirlits blames Esenina: he dared not ask!) Yesenin blames Shtirlitsa: if you give the order, have patience to explain.
But the patience for Esenina from Shtirlitsa missing. And he blames this again Esenina - too long, messy and confusing it is suitable to use before you start it or to grasp the crux of the matter: poses the question "wrong" and not on the merits, the cause is taken at the wrong end . Shtirlitsu, respectively, also have to explain to him the task topsy - turvy - the wrong end and not on the merits (as is usually the case with konflikterov). But then both and reap the results of their collaboration - both blamed each other and both are affected.
Well, then, as usual, konflikter - logic imposes konflikteru - ethics guilt complex, presenting him a sort of "klutz - fool - a loser" (as we clearly see from the previous monologue). Konflikter - ethics will not remain in debt and imposes partner - the logic of guilt by presenting his cruel tyrant and a despot, which probably will not be able to get on one that is not capable of love, and therefore, of course, is not worthy of love.
Yesenin blames Shtirlitsa that that is not enough time to understand it, to sympathize, to understand, "Here you always: can not tell, yell, then she is going to be sorry!"
A Shtirlits tormented by remorse, and listens to his suffering: - he is well aware of this line is: shout temper, and then worry that once made "that - that is not the case."
But all these problems - the little things in comparison with the process of coordinating efforts and goals of the dyad, and the conflict in the relationship he is the most painful.
We have already said that Yesenin not hesitate to use Shtirlitsa in their pragmatic purposes, especially if it fits it (Esenina) lifestyle needs, way of being and way of solving pressing problems. And nothing humiliating for them in this Yesenin not see. Much depends on personal opinion and attitude to this issue. Based on all of the same beta - quadral complex "six", it is better to subdue than the others obey. Yesenin offended (and rightly so!) If to tell him that he trades his senses and his soul. That's not true!
Soul Yesenin small things are not exchanged and considered it a great credit to ourselves and humanity, and "thirsty" and "suffering" clears only "a tiny percentage" of the spiritual treasures that invariably (and deservedly so) are the main subject of his pride (and high self-esteem). Yesenin loves and knows how to organize people a holiday (he himself is nice), holds tremendous energy and creative work costly, and quite naturally, is waiting for a response, deserved reward, which is not considered a sin and remind (if memory is short people).
Pragmatically minded Yesenin can be openly and calculating, and mercantile: how can a "beach" playboy "or" hotel gigolo. " Can woo lonely, wealthy lady, counting on material rewards or how - ever lasting "protection."
Perhaps this is a humiliating way, but not for Esenina. Soul and his thoughts higher than this, and the "interest" of changing them "ordered" mood it can profitably be put into circulation. (In biology, this property is called "instinctive incentive program pairing." It is laid down in a natural, instinctive basis of aspects of business logic (the logic of action) and determines the actions and motives of the many steps you can take to survive and compete, struggling for survival in difficult circumstances.
Accordingly, both "inert pragmatist" - Esenin, and Shtirlits (and both aspect of the business logic is in an inert block) attached great importance to this aspect and the habit deem appropriate or that their decisions, actions, and actions can not refuse. As a result, each of them had the impression that his partner operates and uses, profiting at his expense.
Esenina to the main thing - do not recognize himself as a slave, then you will not, and those on whom carry water. (Because he is claiming its place in the family pet: pet everyone loves, forgives him everything, demand nothing from him and do not ask - as a child - that it take? Because Yesenin and retains for itself the role of "Infanta" in the social hierarchy that is traditionally convenient way for him to survive and fight for their existence - how can you blame him for that?)
Historically, evolutionary Yesenin can be the master of his master. It is not worse Maxim can tame the most obstinate and "go around" the most violent, acting (mostly) patiently, gently and peacefully, by requests and exhortations. (And this is his tremendous achievement in the art of "control" Zhukov - as well as in the art of "softening" the other "hierarchy" second quadra - and that we all still need to learn from him!) Is based on this and mutually beneficial alliance with Zhukov (who decays only slightly longer Zhukov properly evaluate services Esenina and no longer see it an equal partner). For the same reason Yesenin and trying to build a relationship with their spy. But Shtirlitsa hierarchy of values diametrically opposed to the hierarchy of values, Esenina, and this can not come to terms Yesenin.
2. IEI-LSE. Esenin as a "mirage of all socion".
At first it seems shtirlitsu Yesenin (and not only him) man incredibly soulful and sensitive: if that's maybe where - that perfect partner, he must be like this nice, sensitive young man (or on this beautiful girl - cute, sensitive, kind modest .)
Involutional aspect of intuition of time (-b.i.) helps Yesenin intuitively imagine and recreate the image of the "ideal man - perfect in its moral and spiritual development. Helps create the imagination and bring to reality (in a simplified version, and for a short time) a" the limit of perfection "- a kind of conditional model of the final result of the evolutionary development of the personality, impeccable in a spiritual and moral sense. So that each new acquaintances Esenina the feeling fateful encounter with the" embodied the dream "- the main meeting their life, allowing it to feel and touch the dream and keep that feeling (as it seems) to arbitrarily long, convenient and mutually beneficial time.
Yesenin himself also likes to play the role of "wizard" (prince or princess) of the country of fairy tales and give a person a sense of celebration, a sense of hope and dreams come true, the feeling of penetration of a fairy tale, a sense of contact with the miracle.
"For now - and there will be a charm!" - A person thinks. A Yesenin in his support: "I am for the man fall in love, all you want to do!" - He convinces the others (and especially himself). As an incorrigible optimist and a dreamer positivist Yesenin himself ready to believe in it wholeheartedly. The problem is that the "fabulous - a magical life," neither he nor anyone else was, no matter how stable and long-never. Mirage of crystal castle is destroyed first encounter with reality - and it is well known. (As well as the fact that the glass slipper is not what not to dance, and step one and step possible.) The trouble is that Esenina deeply hurt, grieve and disappoint all these gross destruction, made contact with the reality of his crystal dream, in which he believes will continue to believe (or create the illusion of conviction) no matter what. The trouble is that for their grievances, for the destruction of dreams and illusions Yesenin cruel revenge "perpetrators" of all this destruction. And above all, because they deprive it of the software aspect of reliable positive support, "How to live if you can not dream? And how can dream of, if you have created them in the imagination of the world can not withstand a collision with reality." Actively influence reality in the broadest sense of the word Yesenin certainly can not - it is not a strategist, tactician he is, and so the only thing he is - it is in every case require careful to himself (and his illusions) relationships, handle with care with him and his dream.
- In the air lock will not live ... - notes reader.
- A nature proves the opposite: a huge number of living creatures in an underwater world arranges itself very comfortable (and even robust) eco - surrounded by a solid niche in the mucous membrane of air bubbles. Themselves living there in the mating season and offspring output. Aspect involyutsionnoy intuition of time - an alternative program and archaic, so in a constructive and positive way to offer the most incredible, long-forgotten, obsolete and seemingly totally unreliable solutions. The belief in a fairy tale, a belief in miracles of transformation and rebirth - one of the most common of its ideas.
- We know these ideas and stories: by magic made a fortune in the royal palace on the stove rode on the princess married. And it's even better: nMCs - Bourque caught in one ear and got a poor man, a rich man got out of the other. And now, the goal is achieved, nothing else or care or think is not necessary - the eternal and the impossible dream of a freebie, on the achievement of the most desirable goals in the shortest possible time, about getting the biggest prize of least power consumption.
- These programs also fit into the aspect of involutional (alternative) intuition of time: to whom - that have to work long and hard to achieve the desired, and to whom - it - out in the open field, whistle, nMCs - Bourque or heat - Bird catch all time to solve their problems.
- But it's not serious ...
- That new partners Esenina very quickly this notice and pay him back to reality, breaking the dream: do not wish to get involved in his game, which he carried on his surreal rules, creating an illusory system of relations, where the material reality there is no room space, and material needs and requirements in the meantime there. And they need to be fully satisfying, and is now at double the rate, the rate of the needs of the two. And on whose shoulders lie, this is a real concern and the load? On the shoulders of "storyteller"? "Nightingale", which feeds the fables?
- Well, amuse bikes and went in different directions, what are the problems?
- The problem is that the break up "just so" will not succeed. Fantasy and fun in the "non-stop" will continue as long as the partner - the materialist finds it his duty to give back really grateful for this service. (For fun and enjoyable time need to pay the price.). If the partner did not want to, or do not guess, the situation (thanks to all the same forethought aspect of intuition of time) Yesenin organized in such a way that the payment is received in addition to the desire or the will of the partner.
One sweetest lady says:
"At the end of the 80 - x I had to travel abroad for permanent residence. Then I was 34 years old, but it seemed that I had not really lived. At least I realized this only when he met me - nice young man , seven years younger than me, dreamy, romantic, like a fairy-tale prince. Met and literally turned my whole life. Prior to that, I wanted to quickly get a visa to leave - eight years I have been waiting for permission to leave, fought for the exit, participated in political demonstrations , many risked. And there met him ... And how - then abruptly changed. part with him I was very sorry, but I have to change my plans did not. he learned that it is all I have and I decided six months I'll have to leave already, attached to me like a little child. was jealous of all, he was afraid of losing me. Sometimes, holding my hand, not letting go of herself on a step. slightly to the side when I go hence, he cries out: "Ah! - Ah! ", Soon as I'm on someone - then look back, he again:" Ah! - Oh! "- And looks me in the eye, does not get distracted by other, pulls the attention on himself. At first I was moved by it, and then it got annoying. Then me much in it irritated and alarmed: the fact that he was constantly trying to distract me from my plans. And the fact that many tried to solve their problems on me. And that is constantly accompanied me everywhere, as if afraid that run away. I go to a business meeting, and it is there too. Goes for me to move back like a shadow, and all the sighs and sad. did not like me and that it did not work, though, and the number where - that, and even get behind that - that very little money. Our shared their costs entirely had to pay for me . And he took it for granted, why me money if I'm leaving soon? Even when we went to the restaurant with him, he is not shy about the fact that I'm everywhere, even in the presence of his friends and parents pay for the two of us: everything seemed to perceive it as a matter of course. he was able to create a romantic mood, our relationship seemed to me quite unique. He was very afraid of separation, but he could not leave with me for many reasons. And above all, because he did not were paid child support for a child from his first marriage. child was only three years old, and it required a huge sum for those times in order to get away from his wife's permission to travel, and the rejection of material claims. All this was very difficult. Once he broke down in tears when talking about it. Sitting beside him and cried. sobbed like a child - twenty-seven year old man! And crying and crying ... crying Five minutes, ten, fifteen ... I thought, if this is the "buying men tear", so it is great grief, and this grief he needs help. itself does not know how I did it, but one day I just took off with checkbooks most of their money and gave them to him. Has made him this great gift, and even at the very dizzy with fear at the thought of such spending. joke - nine thousand so simply give without batting an eye! I then thought that the earth goes out of my - under their feet. Last summer before I left, he stayed with me. came and said, "My parents were away on holiday and the money I have left, and I do not have his." I knew it was wrong, but pretended to believe his words: do not spoil a relationship for separation! By late summer, my savings are almost entirely dried up. good that at least I put the ticket money, and then they too would be spent on what - something our common whim. things in the way I purchased in advance, and put them all there was no time: bags were empty, and I had an affair with her "Prince Charming." He really looked like a prince - loved everything neat. Adored receive gifts, loved to buy their small, delicate little things. And how - what is it that your valuable things I was bringing him. Now I lacks the many unique collectible items - books, paintings, antiques, which I gave him the deposit: they still got me from my parents. But as he - that convinced me to keep them from him, "You still will not be allowed to bring it all and I may be able to at least that - some of that you bring. "I wanted to believe it, even though I almost certainly knew that he did not bring them to me. And here were only a few days before my departure, but he still did not let me go on my own on a step. persuaded the past few days to stay with him. I carried out of the house all the most valuable thing that still remained and gave it to him - "to remember" ... And here comes the eve of my departure, and the bags are still not stacked. together we are celebrating my moldboard, I'm sitting on pins and needles, I want to leave, and he did not let go. Just get up, and he says, "Ah! - Ah! Are you leaving already? .. ". I look at the clock, and he again:" Ah! - Oh! You already want to go?. "And I have already ordered a cargo taxi the next morning, I got to go home to gather, and it keeps me and not let go. And he looked so unhappy - that's - that's cry. Had to stay with him till late evening. Finally, he volunteered to escort me and help me pack. soon as we got outside, he immediately saw what - that trailer and tried to persuade me to go with him to The Last Picture Show, "Come for the last time together go to the movies. We all have time tomorrow morning to collect. You'll see. Get up early and collect ... ". To me in this hard to believe, but it was impossible to refuse. Went us on this film session. Come to my house after midnight. And he immediately goes to the lyrics. And I do not like - is not Me: an urgent need to collect things on the road. He was trying to persuade me to wait until the morning to the fee, and began to take offense, capricious, and I again had to give way to him. Next morning it was impossible to pick up early. Already on the day of the yard, and he lies basking as kitten. I entreat him: "Who movers arrive, and I have more luggage is not complicated! .. 'And he said:" Yes, wait, not now ... still have time ... ". And then tumble into the apartment movers. And we have with him is a idyll ... I do not know how it happened eight years I've been waiting for this day, and in a way to meet really have not had time. And say goodbye to many near and dear people to me, too, there was no time. course, all of the essentials and left to lie home, not assembled. And those bags that he packed on the road opened, things were scattered and confused before customs ... The mood was spoiled. feels as if everything collapses and falls into hell. And that was just the beginning of our adventure with him. Because then I am, as promised, sent him an invitation. And he came. And the few years that we have lived with him in exile, were so terrible and heavy in my life that I still remember me as a nightmare ... "
- A partner can be mean or insolvent ...
- Yesenin - provident intuit, and this point was initially tracks and takes into account first and foremost. But also, and your partner (especially business and respectable) do not always buy into fairy mirage:
Zinaida, 28, Shtirlits.
"With this young man we met no more than three days. Parted And because I could no longer stand it. First, he shamelessly suggested itself to my house and knock my head off any nonsense, empty talk. Then began to invite me to a restaurant, but it turned out that we have squandered my money there, because when you had to pay it punctually forgot my wallet at home. At the day when I was thinking to give it up, but still doubted, he saw me on the pier-glass table expensive sunglasses in a very fancy, beautiful framed and made them stand hunting: pinned on himself and was speechless. looked at me and waiting for me to sell them to him. And then asks, "How is it? I go? "And now it's finally angered me. I threw him the glasses out the door and shoved him to the same knee in the ass," In and out of here! And so the more I did not see you here! "At this with him it was over."
- And this is the case when the lady can say, escaped with minor losses ...
- A more tolerant and less exacting partner could afford to take the illusion for reality, especially if its humdrum, real life is not so rich in significant events and colorful impressions. And there are patient, modest and unassuming Yesenin is also able to track featuring, apart from the crowd ...
3. IEI-LSE. Conflict as a false duality and false mirage.
At first, Yesenin on Shtirlitsa makes a very good impression: a kind face, bright and clean looking, pleasant and attractive appearance, good and bright ("solar") smile, pleasant demeanor (especially if you want to enjoy Yesenin partner). Attracting and perfect delicacy and helpfulness of demonstrative: "Are you comfortable, dear? You is not blowing, maybe close the window? And you want me to cook us dinner tonight? ..". Draws his courtesy, lightness and ease of communication (I think he guesses your every desire.) Attracting and general knowledge, a wide range of interests, the ability to speak on almost any topic.
And he knows how to be silent and listen! (And for Shtirlitsa is very important). And he knows how to learn, thanks for the advice, assent and agree. This is all very impressed shtirlitsu. And he knows how to dress! With what grace, with what taste! Moderately conservative, with a light but very accurate elaborate casualness, with a slight "romantic" disorder in the dress.
What is this "romantic mess" Shtirlits learns a little later, when it becomes Yesenin intimate partner or spouse. When constantly distracts him from the case, approaches and asks, "What kind of shirt to wear this or that? Look! No, you look!'s How to roll up your sleeves? Or drop? .. And my pants do you like? Nakleechka Here and there ...". Shtirlits darkens and turns purple face, seeing as partner turns to him, wobbling hips and flirty flexing his back, then stands in front of a mirror for a long time, and her hair, trying on one or the other thing, then again approaches and asks, "Say, that's better, or all - still buttoned collar? Or wear a tie, or "butterfly"? .. "
And when the scandals start over every a torn buttons (excuse to throw in the trash a new, expensive shirt), and hysteria over every lost gloves, comb or nail files ... The impression created is like for him nothing is more important than his appearance and those little things that make it maintained in proper form. The fact that everyone is always "meet on clothes," Yesenin not forget, even in times of danger:
Lena (FEL Shtirlits) about her husband IEI (Esenin).
The first time we fought with him during our honeymoon. We bought a cheap tour to the Middle East, through Jerusalem - to the Dead Sea. But with the weather we were not lucky. It was winter in Jerusalem, it was pouring rain, and I really wanted to see the sights. Then, still no luck with the hotel: it was not the best class, poorly heated, the room was cold and wet. I caught a cold ... In the morning I wake up the feeling of suffocation, I feel that I can not breathe or nose, or mouth. Voices also not, can not say anything: silently open my mouth, she can not hear herself. The feeling of fear and panic Nakata is ... Quick repulsive husband, gestures explain to him what was happening to me, push out of his bed, silently shouted to him: "Call a doctor! .." Shoot up the phone, I show him: "Call me". He shrugs off the phone, running around the room, throws on his shirt and stops, "freezes" the mirror. He looks at his reflection as if it sees that the - that the unusual and surprising. Then take the brush and brush the hair starts. On the left side puts hair. Then on the right. Then he shakes his head, his hair scattered, and he begins to re-comb and style. I feel that he is playing for time ... And this is when the last seconds of my life away! And so then I took the anger! .. I choked with indignation and began to cough. Cleared her throat and began to breathe. Also was able to speak. He saw that the danger had passed, so helplessly staring at me, and then he laughed and said, "Can you imagine what it would be funny death if you choked? .. During, great! Imagine, would have said at the funeral:" She died because ... choked own. "And then I gave him a slap. was the first time I flashed the thought that I was married to a scoundrel ... Then only realized that he had thus avenged me for what I bought for the honeymoon relatively inexpensive tour. avenged bad weather for walking around town in the rain, for the wet and cold room in a cheap hotel ... ".
Yesenin as decisive - an aristocrat - Speaker - subjectivist - suspicious, touchy, touchy - subject to frequent changes of mood. The monotony of the same, but still not the most pleasant experiences of his depressing. Failures of systemic organization of life, work and rest it alarming, cast doubt on the strength and reliability of the most eco - system: not all there is well thought out, not everything is properly arranged. In such a system, it does not feel secure. The desire to change the system (change protection, to change custody), and with it change and guiding them to the partner (who almost became a victim of his own errors) - is peculiar to him as a prudent and resolute - Intuit - the introvert, accustomed to believe that the world is cruel and no mercy to those who do not care about the strength of his defense (including the defense of his health).
Yesenin observant and very exacting (picky, picky) to the decisions and actions of their partner. (On this point, any dyad konflikterov disputes and scandals, one disputes the opinions and actions of konfliktera, the other - solutions. Objectivist contested action subjectivist, objectivist, subjectivist view contested strongly condemns the reasoning for indecision, reasoning condemns decisive for ill-considered risk-taking, etc. etc.)
Yesenin as irrational intuition introvert - positivist high expectations of the partnership - the result convinced reverie. (And the surest way to exercise and protection of their dreams crystal on the principle: "If I will come up with (a), whether the way I want to.")
Yesenin more than anyone - or considering a potential partner as a "winning ticket", which (under certain volitional and emotional pressure) can become the "main prize" of his life - just enough to get him to be such. Yesenin very high hopes for happier;; yu family life. And if it happens embarrassing gaffes (and, by the fault of lead partner), Yesenin was disappointed: if the expected "celebration of life" is broken, everything else has been washed away, and now need to look for another successful, a successful partner - someone who is never wrong who have everything always turns out, who always takes the most correct and true solutions, etc. By disappointed with his partnership with Yesenin lose interest if from the very beginning is not set, expect trouble. A trouble Yesenin trying to avoid. If the partnership is a source of trouble, Yesenin can refer to him as a spent and exhausted its potential system then may wish to find a partner to replace: "He brings nothing but trouble - what is the use of it?".
According to an aspect of their software involyutsionnoy intuition of time (b.i.1) - archaic, subjectivist aspect - Yesenin inclined to mysticism and superstition. Inclined to focus on the signs, is inclined to believe them. And this mysticism, belief in omens and portents in the dubious predestination - too deep and archaic aspects involyutsionnoy intuition of time, forcing Esenina to be cautious and prudent, although based on a practical and pragmatic calculation: if a partner is often sick, so it is not reliable in everyday life and in life. (Just like a lame horse is unreliable in battle: the very first fall and rider for a pull). Provident Yesenin may terminate the engagement only on the grounds that the bride complained of pain in the heart. Listen to the complaint, keep silent, and the next day - the other will say, "Sorry, but we can not get married with you, because you have a bad heart." (During this time, he had already consulted with the right people and all agreed). And what will happen next with her and her heart condition - it is not his concern.
Yesenin - prudent, decisive intuit. He finds no partner for gait (although it is important to him) - chooses the decisions and deeds. And if generous and respectable (at first glance) partner suddenly starts to save on amenities, on its own and it (Esenina) the joys and pleasures, if instead of expensive tour she buys cheap, and then she herself falls ill and because of poor living conditions and changes from "beautiful lady" (which seemed to him in a wedding dress) to the whimsical and unattractive creature, Yesenin can not hide his disappointment and frustration, because all this "horror" he had already overshadowed honeymoon blocked all a pleasant experience and will long be remembered as a nightmare sleep - it's already happened, and remember: and this rain and this cold hotel and swollen from a cold wife. And he will regret in the first place is not a partner, and yourself for your vacation spoiled, spoiled his mood, and his dream of the failed marital happiness: if everything is so bad starts, then on will be even worse. (And he's right!)
And he's not on such impressions counted on, going on a honeymoon. And this is not about the beginning of married life dreamed of. And therefore I could not help but make a joke and do not hold a sincere joy, presenting himself at a memorial service to mark the death of his wife.
Yesenin (as a software intuit the emotional and creative ethics - Quests - subjectivist) deeply impressionable. Any confusion he remembered and emerges in memory, forcing pleasant memories and replacing them unpleasant, which in turn come to mind is not the way, by association, again and again, reminding me of themselves. This is the property of its memory that brings experience (emotional, energetic information) from the past into the future (b.i.2 / ch.e.2 +) - and who likes to move forward contaminated, "faulty" information?
During his disappointment and frustration over corrupt and mood for the destruction of plans, dreams and illusions Yesenin revenge: "resets negative", sends it on purpose - with excess returns offender that got away.
Yesenin himself enjoying the first to the lighter, pleasant and clean impressions of each new acquaintance. Enjoying the novelty of a romantic relationship - their "early spring" when and dreams have not destroyed and have a chance to happen. And Yesenin this chance "believes" (Encounter - ethics - subjectivist). She believes in what may for new and better conditions to present themselves well (or at least try to do it).
In its supervisory aspect of intuition potential (+ ch.i7.) Positivist and dreamer Yesenin (as well as its exact opposite Huxley) of each new partner tries to present himself as a "bank of resources and opportunities," by which he can realize his dream, or at least close to it. And this is a little bit and work hard (and hurry up), and you can sacrifice anything - anything and be patient, go for what - that concession and compromise (compliant). "Accounts" for all his "work" (for the time, money, effort, and resources expended in vain to them for everything they missed opportunities for the wait for the time wasted, for he made it invaluable partner and concessions) Yesenin always present have time, but only if it is to keep the situation under control.
Yesenin able to look beautiful. Dreamy and romantic girls can serve to "Prince Charming" of the old fairy tales, "minstrel" of chivalry. And by "minstrel" Yesenin can work most successfully: special feats, heroic make here is not necessary (when faced with a real "dragon" from his conspicuous heroism, no trace remains). But in terms of other knightly virtues - the ability to write poetry, sing or recite their own accompaniment, here Yesenin out of competition, he was just born for the role - this all is going well with him: and poems prepared beforehand, and read them and sing with a guitar, he also can.
(IEI One young man, Yesenin cleverly luring girls as follows: toss them into a small pocket notebook with poems of his own, where each poem was a shy and timid declaration of love. A set of verses is not changing, only the names and initials of the girls who these verses he supposedly devoted, every time is inscribed in pencil on the verses and the name of the new girl erases before you throw up a new notebook lady.)
With the reduction in distance with Yesenin (in the non-dual ITO), a sense of "contact with a dream" (as in every mirage) disappears. Remains bitter resentment and pain of disappointment disappointments (the feeling is like to bite gave a bitter Gingerbread).
In anticipation of the promised performance, partner Esenina can permanently "hang" at the time (and be lost for all in the space). And the only real awareness of missed opportunities and they have occurred (for the worse) irreversible changes can take it out of "hibernation".
4. Esenin. Relation to concessions of conflictor and ability to see the end result
The ability to see the end result of any process of development - the development of events, developing relationships, ethical development of the individual (in the "plus" or "minus") - a characteristic property of the software intuition Esenina (b.i.1).
Ability to work in an imaginary scenario, reflecting the trend of all kinds of personal development (including the final result - an extreme point of its perfection and Degradation) - also is its distinctive feature. See the limit beyond which start with either "shining heights, or the" yawning gap "- is for Esenina kind of" work on the role "going through the program function: to feel like a hero," Prince Charming "or" baby - bad boy "in communicating with sokontaktnikom - Yesenin, too, is interesting. interesting is to see the reaction sokontaktnika, identify its priorities and its relation to positive and negative manifestations of human nature, to determine its value system and coordinates.
For the condescending attitude towards his partner (Esenina) "bold experimentation ethics" (evil antics and attacks) Yesenin then itself can reproach him: "You yourself wanted it, you encourage it, it means you liked it."
With infinite pliability sokontaktnika Yesenin (as an introvert-authoritarian tactics quad) feels bad: he loses, loses reference, goes beyond the possible and permissible. The more he makes concessions partner, the greater the fear and suspicion from him (as in tactics) all causes ("Such compliance is no accident! This was definitely that - it's worth.")
Wanting to find out the circumstances, Yesenin will further aggravate the situation, leading to relationship conflict. (His disturbing the natural pattern of this situation: the more concessions done unilaterally, the more there is uncertainty and tension in the relationship. A Yesenin, aimed at reinforcing its material basis Zhukov, in the infinite flexibility and boundless altruism by and large do not believe so, and treats her with suspicion.)
In its pragmatic program intuition Yesenin time limit concessions defines for itself very clearly: the detriment of themselves (even to maintain equality and balance in the relationship), it will not work. There will be live and act according to the principle: "Take as given." With the generosity of the response will not be in a hurry, too. (Let time pass and passions subside, then maybe disappear and the need for a response of gratitude.)
Meanwhile, as Shtirlits oriented Dostoevsky on the limitless flexibility and patience, his prolonged forbearance and willingness to give and yet another chance, can not seriously disturb and Esenina: who gives much, that a lot of demands, and the position of the debtor (as the position of the real lender ) is viewed as burdensome Yesenin.
Yesenin as the dynamics of the relationships are comfortable that you can break off and from which you can easily go out (with the least losses for themselves) at any time. Bound by long-term commitments (if fragile and precarious ecological situation) it themselves or partner will not - it's not convenient. And if then, based on their own calculations, Yesenin still reclaims the moral and material compensation, it means only that he puts an end to this relationship and wants to get out of them empty-handed.
5. Esenin between dream and reality. (Aspect of involutionary intuition of time (-Ni) as the dream of "gratis").
"If you want to take a look around
and make sure that your side no one wants,
otherwise the dream will come true, but not yours. "
Simon Altos. (FEL Shtirlits)
The desire to get involved in the realization of their dreams on the most favorable terms - without the pain, without depleting resources, without effort - Esenina visited quite often. And in this sense, his programmatic aspect involyutsionnoy intuition of time (-b.i.) can be represented as the easiest and most convenient way to achieve the goal: it is enough just to imagine the end result of their plans and expectations, and you can enjoy them in their dreams.
Detailed elaboration of the imaginary circumstances and the frequent change of vivid impressions that are so necessary to Yesenin, is provided with almost completely. One needs only to create a comfortable environment for yourself these spontaneous transitions in an imaginary reality: to find the time to dream dreams inspire yourself and others.
Yesenin is always ready to take a fancy to them in the imagination of a comfortable and prestigious eco - niche, if only the circumstances were favorable for this. (For example, a dreamy young man, a petty official Balzaminov (known character drama Ostrowski) was ready at any moment to ascend to the throne (if invited) and lying on its side, successfully managing his country would publish a wise and just decree: "The rich marry a poor, poor - on the rich. "Then he did not have to, poor, tortured by want the officer to look for an heiress: she herself would have found it and went to marry him, performing (his own) a royal decree. So Balzaminov way - forked dreamer in my dreams: official - Balzaminov brings to dream their problem Balzaminov - her king decided. And the fact that in this fantasy he performed two roles, played in two guises, the real Bal'zaminova less embarrassing total: dreams, nothing is impossible.) The problem is that in reality can not be implemented absurd dreams, and persistent subjectivist - dreamer Yesenin and consciously and unconsciously draws (draws) partner to the embodiment of the absurd in reality, what then (in the case of negative consequences) itself as it would be for that reproach.
The most shocking of these absurd and fantastic projects to produce pragmatic and delovika konfliktera Esenina - spy. It comes in horror at the thought that a man can spend time on such fantasies, and when that person (not a reproach, so requests, by hook or by crook), makes it even all these fancy exercise, Shtirlitsa have the feeling that the world is turned upside down and everything is moving around in a strange and unpredictable way: land leaves - under their feet, changing habits and preferences are changing the perception of orientation, the exact opposite is changing value system and the system of coordinates. And there already and on my own (doomed to these horrors), you can expect the action to be in the old days, it in itself would be outraged and shocked, and now regarded as a matter of course. And if anyone - it is now and wondering, only his closest friends and acquaintances who do not learn in the same sane person this madman obsessed with obscure projects and dreams. (Like the one in that a person who has mastered a lot of majors, do more and literature).
6. Yesenin. The combination of dream and reality.
"Ivanov said at a stop,
In anticipation of the chariot,
In anticipation of beers ... "
(From a song by Boris Grebenshikov)
"Some are born great, some achieve greatness ...", but what about the person who set himself ambitious goals, but really is far away from all the possible ways to achieve them? - Clear a path elbows? go to the goal on the head?
Well the one who is born one step away from success: it is enough to lend a hand to get what you want. Obsessive desire for creative geniuses also are among the lucky: they work the livelong day, to spare no effort, their work is pleasant and interesting to them, they are surrounded by the honors showered with awards.
And what about those whom nature had endowed endurance, but has given vivid imagination, the ability to dream of a better and strive for more? They have no time to wait for all mankind will come to a bright future, they need to already chosen for themselves a kind of forward-looking, comfortable and reliable eco - niche. Such that no one is forced out and push out them out of it all with him were considered, consulted, advised that for all he remained a unique and irreplaceable. But again, a dream, a fantasy - that no one can guarantee. And then again be satisfied with the position of "imaginary" element in the system - the one who knows what busy is not known what is needed, but in the future - who knows! - Can come in handy. (Like in a fairy tale is: there is a character on the road and says, "Take me with you, Ivan - the prince, I'll still need me." Sure enough, after some - while he finds application and helps out all of the trouble.). But until that happy moments yet to live. (If you have provided such a case.) Until then, "the hero of the future" has to equate themselves with all the rights of others, and now the real needs of the members, to fight for their place and do everything possible to allow to continue to follow in the right direction, to the target. (That is, do not allow yourself to be treated as a "hare", Durikov snuck into someone else's car, do not allow yourself to push down "steps" do not allow the claim "tolls" - does not allow to present the bill for all the services provided by the system ...) ..
In the fantasies you can without spending their own forces, "lying on the stove," earn their rolls, and you can directly enter the palace, and to marry the king's daughter (if it is that will cost), but that's it - "by magic" and who in real life pay for all these pleasures? Of course, you can pretend that all this does not matter, you can challenge these requirements, to challenge its obligations to the system or redirect it to the surreal values by opposing its material values of their spiritual, "you should not think about the material, most importantly, to achieve the desired, to believe in his dream, and all the rest will follow ... "
To achieve the desired in the shortest possible time with the least expenditure of energy - hence accumulate benefits to all the same software aspect involyutsionnoy intuition of time (b.i.1). And if this can also save (and even Pricop) their resources and power at the expense of others, it turns a definite advantage: work enough advantages suggestive aspect of volitional sensing (+ ch.s.5). One problem: any savings - it is also the (unusual) lack of material resources, which must be replenished from time to time to spare. Limited costs - it is also the accumulated deficit - debt yourself and your partner that you want to cover. And at whose expense, one wonders?
Aspect involyutsionnoy intuition of time - the program subjectivist (like any program blocks subjectivist - alpha and beta - quadra) and because of this, in what - that sense and archaic - is prone to logical conservatism: predisposed to believe the myths rely on luck to good luck on good luck on the power of faith and the power of belief, the patronage of the higher forces, including the powerful of this world. How archaic program it tends to swap cause and effect. For example: you can believe in something that wish will come true if you really want it badly and very emotionally express their desire.
- Kind of like a prayer ...
- ... Otherwise, the desire, no one will know. Hence the logic of feedback: to get all the desirable enough to want it very much and it's hard emotionally demand.
The conclusion is that if you do not get the desired means "to blame": not much like it, is not active enough to achieve it (none of your requests have not heard).
Involutional intuition of time (-b.i.) as a conservative and reconstructive program in the methods of solving their problems is prone to the "how anachronisms." That is, can apply the techniques that are considered "obsolete" obsolete, "culled" and unacceptable in the modern world. Involutional program intuition of time (-b.i.) reconstructs them as "well-forgotten old" and applies wherever it sees fit (but comes into antagonistic contradiction with the evolutionary aspect of the logic high and advanced technologies (+ tsp) - software aspect spy.)
In nature and in society, there are different ways to solve their problems at the expense of others. There are those who constantly - that on anyone - that prides who - that for whose - that respect there, by whom - that eats whom - that pushes out its eco - a niche out of the hole, out of the nest. Everything in nature live on whose - that foreign savings, acquisitions and achievements. Even if you eat ripe fruit or cereals mature ... - also use other people's savings, saving and making up your own.
With the development of more complex social relations in this area can go even further: it is possible to live happily ever after for others (due to another's advantages and savings), save your energy and resources, but also to earn on this: "I need to get my timing partner , my companion earned no less than thirty thousand dollars a month, only then will it be able to create me an environment that would be satisfactory to all my requests and needs. " - Said my dear young man Constantine (IEI), who made a way of life in their profession. Without any embarrassment he had cameramen in his apartment, opened the closet, showed his clothes, explained that he used to dress very elegantly: "Here I have this jacket, very fashionable ... Here are pants ... At first I was content with modest offerings, but then realized that I was doing wrong. But now I do not have any problems. Now I've got the life, which was the dream: I can afford to attend elite clubs, buy clothes at expensive stores, rest at fashionable resorts. I'll choose my companions time and From the very beginning of everything negotiate ... "
- And he does not think that makes an unequal exchange? ..
- Well, it's like saying he buys a dominant place in the high price. Spends his time (a few days, months and years of their irrecoverable youth), spends health, strength, energy, and its subjective opinion feels entitled to claim for these expenses worthy of financial compensation. It's enough to just above all appreciate your time, appreciate the short length of time it is released for the most active and the active period of life. Some use it for - another way: can take the time to do for others, a brilliant career, to keep the friendship with the right people to fit into the desired system and get all of what others at high spending and make more of an effort for many years ...
- A man who is used only to seek only their own labor, may condemn this way of life ...
- It is so hard-working and demanding a realist - practitioner - Esenina for Shtirlits is the most uncomfortable and the most unsuitable partner.
Partner - Shtirlitsa Yesenin can charm, charm, quickly arranged, but he will always have the feeling that he is living on a volcano. Every careless word that any of his "childish prank", or "harmless prank" (as in any relationship conflict) can lead to an explosion of negative emotions, to cause an uproar.
Explosive situations arise due to sexual incompatibility dampen each other kvestimov.
For example, one young man, Yesenin, disappointed some coldness and aloofness of his partner, had the imprudence to the closest and tremulous moment of their relationship to say, "A couple of times meet with you and all ... enough already ..." - "What -" all ? "What -" enough "?" - Either run it at him, outraged this approach: it turns out he already had calculated everything figured predicted and decided for her.
After these words the partner - Shtirlits middle of the night and can get away from a partner. The only problem is that the ITO and the conflict caused by their mutual attraction (the desire to explain, to talk openly with your partner and re-check your observations once again try to convince him) did not allow her to move away from it for a long time. And Yesenin who does not have a suitable and reliable replacement, do not want to so quickly and so easily let her off.
7. Esenin in a business partnership and cooperation.
Even in dual ITO Yesenin allows the partner to make independent decisions without consulting him: who controls the solutions partner, and he controls the situation, and their (partner) plans, actions and attitudes, and his control of his (partner) fate. Who has control, in fact, and the power, and the real dominance in the relationship, and the real advantage in any situation - a real benefit.
During the pre-emptive right to control the solutions partner Yesenin fights indirectly: creating intuitive - ethical methods of the conditions under which the partner, by cracking down on his punishment - tantrums, violent scandals, fights, bases, and revelations - is unable to make decisions without him partner feels guilty , experiencing fear, embarrassment and fear (just waiting for myself unpleasant) when trying to make the decision for Esenina, not agreeing, without consulting him, "over his head."
Yesenin not want to feel like a slave to the arbitrary actions of his partner does not want to feel like a slave to the circumstances, therefore, (regardless of outcome) negative reaction to any attempt by the partner to show independence, "Why did you not consult with me How could you? .. " - He was filled with indignation. Only its dualu Zhukov it allows to act on the principle: "We discussed it, and I decided ...". The rest of it is prohibited.
Shtirlits with its software logic operations (+ ch.l.1) in such circumstances feels bound hand and foot, although it shows (from the point of view of konfliktera - Esenina) "illegal independence" - all can decide for yourself and your partner, send it in accordance with these decisions, manage its operations, time, energy and abilities, regardless of his (partner) desires, breaks his nearest and far-reaching plans.
Without the ability (or desire) to engage in an open debate with konflikterom, Yesenin effect "gradually" and achieves the desired roundabout way. On this occasion, distracts or reduces the partner's attention, and then openly "working on myself." And at the same time and have a partner, "punishes" to continue to teach it to dispose of it (Esenina) time and ask him uncomfortable tasks.
Young family (husband - IEI, Yesenin) emigrated from the Soviet Union to the West. At the time, the originals of many vital evidence and documents to take out with him was not allowed. So they have taken only certified copies of all documents and the originals sent by diplomatic pouch. After some - while they sent a notice that documents their profits and they can get them. Wife - Shtirlits had already settled on what - that job, so for documents (the Ministry of Foreign Affairs), she could not go and asked them to go for a jobless husband - Esenina. Of course, he was offended, "it here messenger hold" and offered to take my wife off at work at his own expense and go for the documents with him. She did not agree, insisted he went alone. Very reluctantly, he obeyed her. In the evening return silent than - that frightened, alert, anxious and pale. Explains to her that her papers "disappeared." "How did -" disappeared "? - She asked him." And so, "- he explains - gave him both locations - both him and her documents. Handpainted it for both folders. And then he took his documents and folder with documents left her there on the counter and walked away - forgot to take. And when he remembered and returned her folder was not there: she "disappeared." "I told you that you had to go with me! You're the one to blame, why did you not go with me? Here's to you and disentangle itself "The next day, his wife took a day off at his own expense and went to the capital for documents. Husband's words proved to be true only half: He really signed for both locations and both folders are taken away. Had he left the documents on the desk, or if they were cleaned up, she would have said about it. "Ask yourself your husband where he Affairs documents ..." - she said.
Where is he affairs of her papers she found some time later, when he became her colleague and co-worker, began to displace it from all areas of their common profession, setting it against as many as they could. Then, in the heat of an argument, and he blurted out - said that he destroyed these documents: burned them on the road in a trash can, and she said they were "disappeared", but even then it was true. To the question why he did that to her, the husband said, "You're the one to blame! Treats me like a gofer! And I'm not a messenger, I have my pride is! .."
Soon she began to notice and track other oddities in his behavior. Then she realized the extent to which he spoiled her her career. I shall remember her by her business meetings;, and in which he found it necessary to attend. She remembered the scandals that he arranged for her whenever she went to a business meeting without him. She remembered how small disappeared that she left her new business friends and partners. She remembered how disappeared from the pages of notebooks with their phone numbers. She remembered how gradually changed for the worse attitude towards her co-workers, recalled how her husband tuned it against them, passing their negative opinion. In the best tradition of "divide and conquer" he said, "They hate you! About you say you're going to target on their heads." (What is the least untrue: Shtirlits - reasoning - Speaker - tactics (but not decisive - statics - Strategist), "going to the goal on the head" - not his creed.)
As a prudent and decisive intuit Yesenin tries not to leave the offenders opportunities for revenge. And as shtirlitsu konflikteru more likely to have to be the subject of such a terrible forethought. (What happens is that in socionics called "attacks on white intuition" - plans to partner crumble, things are not as worse relationships with others exacerbated to the limit.)
The situation was corrected only when the former partners (kvestimov) separates the very far distance (b.s.3-2). Separation, isolation, far and safe distance kvestimov gradually heal, though the memory is still occasionally brings them back to the events of the past. Shtirlits tries to avoid the same mistakes. Yesenin is comforted by the fact that leaves the last word. As a compliant, stable, prudent software intuit, it was originally planned actions and attitudes so as to later have the opportunity to take revenge.
- So, the spontaneity of intuition has a predestined time and orderliness?
- Far-reaching plans - the prerogative aspect involyutsionnoy intuition of time (-b.i.), which in itself (and its fractal properties) - provident information aspect (as well as dynamic, determined, irrational, introverted), which includes the
program to build your own goals, plans and far-reaching intentions,
and a program of close and distant targets;
program of destruction and counter-plans of the opposing ex-partner, opponent and competitor;
program is planned (long nurtured and kept private) intentions with spontaneous use of each for a chance monitored by supervisory intuition capabilities.
Decisiveness intuitive software helps Yesenin in time to join in the active action, and software intuition of time, based on the set near and distant targets with precision defines this moment. Therefore, the spontaneity of Intuit's software is carefully drawn, a long line up, planned in advance, from a distance predictable basis.
From the outside it may look like an absolute omission: it seems that people loitering around, weary, tired of idleness, wandering around the room absently, colliding with others or getting tangled under their feet, or spend hours lying on your couch, thoughtfully at the ceiling. And in fact, he is busy planning for this moment - thinks, calculates, weighs, forecasts, and at the right time target program works in a certain way, and Yesenin goes into action, developing activity, "inner voice," he says, "Do it now! or never this time - the most convenient. Another such moment will not be. " And then what - the force as if it picks up and gets to act a certain way. On the part of all of this gives the impression of a spontaneous action, contrary to all previous: just talked quietly, smiled sweetly (he worked on the creation of peaceful and friendly relations) and suddenly changed: he was rude, impertinent, to say nasty things about your partner (went to work for destruction) . And the reason is only one: to fulfill public - that long-cherished plans right time - an important participant joins the conversation. For him, and he made this scene, provided incriminating information to the partner (as if, "by the way", "mood", "under the heat of the moment," "a hothead" allegedly "without thinking of the consequences," which actually very well thought out and calculated on a lot of steps forward, and it is clear who the partner will take place in this system, and much more).
- That is, information is provided as a "coincidence"? ..
- ... By the principle of "I can not be silent! Become painful". And that "pent up" and why he can not be silent - it is for the software itself Intuit, entirely dependent on its current and future plans, in which they, as a precaution, everything is thought out in advance and decided. That's why he does not allow that partner - that advance their own thought and planning (without him, for him and over his head.) Do not allow to dispose of as a "messenger" ("Go there, do that! ..") - Is afraid to be in the right time is not where you want them, afraid to miss - something important for themselves, afraid to be forced out of the system and be in a position "Six". And then for sure they will all be pushed around and did not ask for permission, everyone will decide for him. And who likes to get in the position of a slave or a puppet performer and become someone else will? ..
In ITO conflict (as well as in any other relationship intertipnyh) Esenina must be controlled in the same way as it makes its dual Zhukov. That is, more often require a report to be interested in what's on his mind (just ask, "What's on your mind, what are you up to?") And monitor its response. Yesenin - not the enemy control system of relations: dominant system has the right to control the situation. The system, devoid of control, doomed to depletion (embezzlement) resources and the subsequent destruction ceases to be a promising, reliable and safe, and therefore (according to involyutory Esenina), and there is nothing wrong to push this system to collapse ("Why would she be if it is still doomed? "). But to be part of this historic moment, anticipate it, keep track of (and in the process make a contribution) Yesenin's always interesting. So that the control in the relationship with Yesenin odd never happen: you never know what will seem to him hopeless and futile!
- Yes, but not decisive quadras customary to ask the person what he thinks ...
- But decided to ask, "What are you doing?" - Wave sensing for natural question. A Shtirlits as reasoning sensorik-extrovert can also use this, it is natural for him, right. Interested in the mental condition of the person, asking, "What are you thinking now?", "What's on your mind?" - It is natural to quadras reasoning, which is dominated aspect of intuition potential. And in the delta - quadra aspect where intuition has the potential ethical implementation of (- Ch.I. / + BE), questions of this kind are considered a particular manifestation of sensitivity. Of course, Yesenin be embarrassed that question, but Shtirlits gain some advantage in time of intuition and business logic. And most importantly - will keep the situation under control. In ITO conflict relax risk: "War is war." And shtirlitsu, focused on emotional stability and restraint duala (Objectivist - static) Dostoyevsky, rely on the emotional stability of its konfliktera (subjectivist - speaker) Esenina - is like sleeping on a box packed with dynamite: an explosion of emotions the most terrible and destructive force in the most complex, dangerous situation at the most inopportune time for this follow such that shtirlitsu remembered very long time. And most importantly - will result in such consequences, which will be scared and remember.
- But you have to like - that include Esenina to work! Or so he will be lying on the couch and look at the ceiling, thinking about plans for revenge and destruction, while working for ten Shtirlits? ..
- Well, there's more happiness when Yesenin just lying and staring at the ceiling (although many partners and it is annoying), worse when he draws a partner in his dangerous, tactical game: run, bustles, flickers before his eyes, takes a partner's attention issues leading off deeper into the memories and hold it there to distract from the goal of the work on the case, from everyday problems and routine tasks requiring a very rapid resolution. That is, distraction tactics, misleading in time and in space, distracting from the business spirit, and of the emotional and ethical track. After all this shtirlitsu difficult to determine for themselves the ethical dominant in the relationship with Yesenin - it becomes quite clear who consider it in the future: friend or foe, a close associate and partner or a villain, an intruder, a blackguard. Yesenin, disoriented Shtirlitsa this duality feels master of the situation: while it will break your head, thinking about these or those of his words, trying to understand what's behind them and whether to attach meaning to these words, Yesenin, taking advantage of all this turmoil, will work under the program, will implement their plans. Will enjoy a respite granted to him and to act in their own interests, regardless of any foreign control.
How emotivist Yesenin can easily manipulate mood Shtirlitsa can connect it to your mood, your sense of time, it can infect laziness, discouragement, apathy and blues. (And they sigh, groan and throw up your hands on a pair, rather than deal with the case.)
Taking advantage of the exclusive employment Shtirlitsa Yesenin could further hamper it in time, spontaneously arranging what - something ridiculous, ill-timed performance. Runs in front of him, waving his arms, confused at his feet, flickers, looks into your eyes, stick with trifling matters, too late, "Wait, listen to me, look at me ... I'm going this suit? Oh, wait, look ... And this one?. . I'd better put on this costume, or one? And remember, you're still saying that this suit make me look fat? .. And remember, I still wore this jacket ... No, wait, look: it on me? .. Okay sitting? Yes .. you do not look! .. Look! .. Well? .. And there are not too narrow? .. Yes, look the same! .. "
There are many ways the wool, "fussed" partner, confusing, switching his attention from one (significant, meaningful) of an object to another (small and insignificant). The aim of all these manipulations - zamorochit partner deviate from the goal, to deceive, to waste his time and attention so that on more important things he has neither the strength nor the time is not enough. And there may have to declare it a failure, tripped or rent competitors to complete the program. (Large fault is not here, loser who can not keep up everywhere, it is still doomed.) Can be in the mood to beg your partner a large sum of money, made to sign a guarantee for a loan, how to pull - that promise Shtirlits already back then did not take - not in its rules. You can get the money for the entrance fee to the cooperative business, but in addition also solicit money on the design and production of business cards, it requires, as a future businessman.
For example, one young man (IEI, Yesenin) - beachcomber in the mid 90s. begged his wife (serving state. businesses) money for private business. And, rowed past, and he knew it. When she went to the pawn shop and laid out there what - what valuable things to use the proceeds to both of them could survive until payday, he begged her and the money itself to a future card. Business was a fake, and business cards, embossed in gold on white glossy paper, he then still proudly showing her.
8. Conflict as false activation.
- How else to explain that Shtirlits, despite his judgment, foresight and excellent business acumen nevertheless falls into such a trap?
- In many cases, fatal role here is played by intuition aspect of the potential (+ Ch.I.) - activation aspect Shtirlitsa (+ ch.i.6) and the Supervisory Yesenin (+ ch.i.7). Yesenin tracking by observing their intuition potential (+ ch.i.7) what - that benefit themselves, attracts new prospects of his partner (Shtirlitsa), who, after many months of professional, business, creative and spiritual crisis Esenina, after many months of his inaction, of course go out to meet him, give Yesenin new chance to get up, to express themselves creatively, professionally, and so to realize. Capitalizing on the opportunities of a business proposal, Yesenin can also manipulate their partner. Aspect of intuition potential - deficient in quadras determined and priority in reasoning. So ignore the opportunities and possibilities (his and your partner) will not be able to Shtirlits: for him it will be a blow to the self-suggestive function - a point of absolute weakness (+ BE) - Corporate Ethics relations. If it overrides what - it professional, creative, or what - what other possibilities to your partner, get rid of the feeling of guilt in front of him, he (shtirlitsu) it will be very, very difficult. (Even if the partner himself before him guilty). Betray the interests of the partners in these areas and on these aspects - the gravest of crimes quadras objectivist (dominated aspect of the business logic). For this reason and Shtirlits very sensitive about any trickery or footboard Esenina (especially those that are directly aimed at undermining his (Shtirlitsa) careers and activities).
Mental aspects of the block (in the dominant and repressed quadras of them) in models of both konflikterov the same (+ ch.l.1-4-b.i.4-1 + ch.i.6-7 -b.l. 7-6.) and are a taboo area: inert block - the backbone of the model, its "backbone" - a priority area and beyond - bans emanating from the most vulnerable areas in the model - "fear zone" (1). The more partner violates these prohibitions, the more it encroaches on these priorities, the more terrible blow to the taboo areas. A conflict in the ITO is ubiquitous and occurs on both sides. Differences in motivation is not always detected and not always adequately understood: a mere coincidence that this blow was struck, or with intent - and it remains a mystery. (And the truth is sometimes very difficult to establish, and worry about the impact caused each konflikterov will be a very long time.)
(1) It is believed that the human psyche bio - anthropologically been structured on the "zone of fear" and expanded, gradually smoothing out the obstacles and barriers between the "forbidden zone" and related areas, which each psycho was necessary to master in order to successfully compete in the struggle for existence.
9. Esenin. Concession to the detriment of professionalism.
Sometimes Yesenin consciously on what will never Shtirlits: Yesenin agrees to perform the work that does not know how to do.
does not want to miss the chance;
ready to act "at random", hoping that will not be found guilty of incompetence and lack of professionalism;
agrees to fill the vacancy so as not to offend the employer: work profitable, promising, if successful, promises fame, respect and honor, so why not for her and take - who - that it is necessary to implement it?
In any case, everyone decides how to dispose of him this opportunity, opportunity, opportunity.
Perhaps this is why in the creative (and mainly in the music) environment, you can meet so many talented people and the blessings of heaven from among the representatives of the TIM. Suffice it to recall the great, great composers - IEI - Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky and, of course, by Gaetano Donizetti (1797 - 1848.) - A fragile human health, but the incredible performance, the author of 70 operas (which is two times greater than that Rossini (EIS Dumas.) and almost three times more than that of Verdi (LSI, Maxim) - also the greatest geniuses and great workers) - an absolute record holder (all time) by the number of operas written by him and an absolute record for most delightful music written by him (Donizetti) for the bel canto style of singing in which he, in his great wisdom, foresight and vision has provided mankind with 300 - 400 years into the future, knowing that not every era composers could write music in the beautiful and fertile style, which worked in his time. Each of his works, many of which are today still continue to discover and recover for the performance, it is a real gift and a holiday for the audience and for the performers.
But, unfortunately, the holidays in our life is not as much as gray, mediocre routine. Luck smiles to everyone. And geniuses are not born in every family and every year. Genius - a minority of mediocrity - the majority. And, unfortunately, a lot of mediocrity among IEI (Esenin) is also quite common in the music world. There, on the subject even invented anecdote: "You know the difference between a good player from a bad one? Good musician when he needs to play" a sad note, "plays a sad note (hear the sadness in the music.) A poor musician plays a note of common, but makes a sad face. "
To fight for a comfortable place for itself in the system (overt and covert means) Yesenin can not worse, and even better than many others in the beta - quadra. And personal liking and attitude play an important role here.
He performs as a singer - she told her friends that wants to change the accompanist: her accompanist was soon to go on maternity leave, she needs urgently to find a replacement. That same evening, on the threshold of her apartment there was a pretty, intelligent-looking woman, had the pianist, took out of her handbag copies are - that the recommendations ... Without further ado singer led her to the piano, opened at random notes (piano score of the opera "Eugene Onegin") and proposed to her with a sheet sakkompanirovat scene with Tatiana's letter. The pianist looked at the music, shut them, put aside and said, "Let's you I'll play the music of his own composition". She made a sad face and a very rough and uneven, but unusually sensitive struck up something remotely resembling Albinoni's Adagio. He could hear that she was not rehearsed this thing without a hitch, and picked up by ear and from memory. The singer was thunderstruck, did not know how it is perceived. Seeing that the game has made its impression pianist haughtily, with a look of arrogance on his face said, "Well? Like It's me she composed". The singer said: "Something like Albinoni wrote ... And you're here to do with ...". "Ah! So you know that thing? - Assumed a disturbed person let loose on her pianist - So you did not tell me right away? They forced me to play it! .. Wanted to laugh at me? .. That you will not work!. " She had long resented, standing in the hallway, until the singer did not manage to show the door and lock the door behind her.
A few months later she met this lady at a respectable vocal studio. Lessons there were very expensive. And this lady was already working there accompanist. Scores ill - poor, she learned to read, but the game - is still very bad - "through the stump - deck": was incorrect and wrong at every turn, the students beat out the rhythm with a key, with the tempo. For all its faults battered students. The teacher constantly correcting them and scolded them for her mistakes. Endure and listen to all of it was absolutely impossible.
The singer was sincerely sorry for the students and the teacher. In the past it was her colleague at the scene, and she wanted to help him. "Why have you been struggling with it? - She asked him at half-time. - Do you know her even a decent master-class will not be able to hold you wanna, I'll give you phone a good musician? He's the new man in our city, it needs work ..."
The teacher sighed, shrugged, made a sad face and said, "I still can not fire her. She's so cute and charming man! .."
Yesenin does not miss his chance. (And their place in the system second to none - and do not expect and do not expect!) Even if it is a professional environment and demonstrate it is not the best way, he considers it important and that at least was able to infiltrate the system, install the the desired relationship, establish useful contacts with influential people. At the right time he will be able to use them to go to work with a professional to administrative. The main thing for Esenina - is to infiltrate the system, let alone push myself out of it, he will not allow anyone (not because of his professional incompetence or on grounds of redundancy or by the administration or at the request of a group). And not so much because he has everything under control everywhere, but because of his push aside at this point - a more expensive: such a series of scandals and tantrums follow, such degrees of trouble immediately be brought down, and that it is better not to get involved at all.
- How to avoid all these hassles?
- To act as dual and Esenina Zhukov control its actions, the elegantly and strictly monitor the quality of its work, the level of his professionalism. Get it to work in full force for quite a long (at least two - three months) of probation and thoroughly analyze the result. Arrange for checks, conduct tests on the level of professionalism at every turn.
- Professional high-end unfair methods for a place in the fight will not be ...
- High-level professional, honest workers, competent professionals (as in any of Timaeus) of IEI, not too little, but not a majority (unlike TIM FEL Shtirlits) as priorities models here play an important role.
If the job is not immediately attracted to Yesenin (seemed hopeless), it can not invest in this work his work - why, if all the same will soon chase? Will convince themselves that the "ship" and so soon "drown", so why put forces in what is already doomed? Is not it better to sit on the sidelines and without effort, without investing work, wait until the system begins to fall apart by itself, and then go away in time to escape with minimal losses for themselves, taking on the memory of that - anything of value - what good to disappear? (Sacred cause - to save valuable thing from a sinking ship!) And there you can look for a new job, and - valuable employees are needed everywhere, the world is not without good people.
"Working like fools" - in the words of a famous character from Rostislav Plyatt comedy "Spring", fits perfectly into this scheme. "Wherever the work, but would not work" - the motto of "soldiers invisible front", features the ability to freely exist due to excessive and a sound system, fully parasitic on it and use it produces tangible assets to their advantage (even if it is only test tube with some kind of a strange "solar liquid", it still does not prevent the grab, using the general fuss - maybe useful!) the presence (or absence) of real merit and can distinguish such a "flea worker" from all others.
- But professional failure may be a representative of any other TIM ...
- Yes, but a representative of any other TIM will not destroy the system just for the fact that in this system was left of him an evil memory. And after some "retaliation" which rejected his system will not be able to give of him and his work unflattering. No system, no bad reviews - and was long forgotten, Who now remembers that there was in fact, if the system does not exist? Esenina for this routine work "with the track" and "memory" in his programmatic aspects of involutional (reconstructive) intuition of time (b.i.1).
- But if the system is strong, what can he do? ..
- Nothing. Solid, reliable system Yesenin not drown. And about the shaky can always say: "The system itself was destroyed, she went to the decay" - and then guess who it opened the scuttle.
When Yesenin feels that "dig under it," start too active to check it when it is forced every day to go to work, both on the exam, he can not stand the load and suits scandal - ramshackle system of relations: arguing with the authorities, with co-workers says unpleasant things, anticipating the future of his dismissal, reveals itself not in the best light. (And that shy - that if at all already decided it is fired because he is for them, "not good" and not worthy to occupy this place, let hear about themselves at last something else - that. And that ceremony - what? - Seven ills - one answer. (Like, for example, Zilov (IEI, Yesenin) - a character from the play by Alexander Vampilova "Duck Hunt" - said the head of nastiness when he was before he was fired, is going to talk to him about his relation to unfair operation. Zilov hits head on to the patient himself, accuses him of being the one that his personal disappointment (the bride dumped him) carries on his colleagues: "We are not guilty that she left you," - he said the chief, and heard in reply: "Zilov, lately I like you less and less.")
- But what if the checks are - that guarantee protection, why would not they be done? It's so easy!
- It is not easy. There is another danger: Yesenin can escape such tests. Concerned about their precarious position in the team, he can find a job in a related system that can take it and go back to their former co-workers have their manager or supervisor. And then they will have to fight for their place in the system and look for another job. He quietly in their absence will complete its work.
10. Esenin. Business partnership in the family.
Business partnership in a family with Yesenin also not always successful. Yesenin expects condescending attitude of relatives and allows himself to take time off or refuse to work, claiming an equal distribution of rights and income.
Denis (IEI) 35. A man without a profession or occupation offered his civil wife Julia (owner of a small beauty salon) to organize the business for him. He wished to benefit the family, and she supported him in this desire. (Especially since the situation has evolved critical: adult, healthy man lives on the content, but let it be so are the benefits.) She rented it to a section in the nearest shopping mall, boutique arranged there and set it to trade. The results of her disappointment: "This man believed that he favored me with their work. But he was wrong - she said - this man could not do business. Woke God forbid it by noon. Got up reluctantly. Sit for three hours in the bathroom. (Long - so long laps in the shower.) then stands in front of a mirror, makes styling easier. First tuck the hair to one side, then the other. then puts them back and tying how - that cord. then puts on a shirt, spinning, spinning in front of a mirror, takes off this, puts another. then again turns the mirror: that will undo buttons of, the zastegnet, then roll up your sleeves, they will drop. I look at it, I was shivering beats of irritation. I can not see it. But try to tear him away from the mirror ! Such scandals suit! started yelling like a child whose favorite toy taken away. At work, he came not before three o'clock in the afternoon. (and sometimes four!) And this despite the fact that the mall opens at nine, I am his gonyu and he says, "Why would I go there so early. All the same, before the three - four buyers do not come ... "." So why not come and say that you did not open the store earlier three - four. "And with four to nine in the evening just five hours on a trade remains. How are we going to pay the rent and give loans to such revenue. Loans And we took because Dennis needed a new car. specially He persuaded me to buy it. he still wanted me he bought an apartment, but it's really, sorry - pipes! envied it, that I bought my son an apartment, and also wanted. But the boy was required to relocate because he already plaguing Denis did not give. So, tormented as he could. My son from his first marriage. And Denis came into our family just because that "imbued with sympathy" to my son. Quickly find common language with him, got along well at first, saying: "I love children and I love them too. And then he began to harass him, pursued him peeping at them, organized a scandal when a child is out of the refrigerator without his permission apple take. He put the scandal itself took an apple, and he was not invited. Then I complained on each trifle complaint against him. Vita had to buy an apartment in the same house where my parents live. There, he does not feel lonely. It was hard, of course, to part with it, but it was easier to do than to evict Denis from the apartment. When it is the first time (after another argument), I suggested to leave it all at once so shrank into a ball, silent, subsided, he looked so weak, miserable. He looked at me and said, "I'm not ready to go away from you ... I've got nowhere ...". Prior to the meeting with me, he lived with another family, but there he was not kept longer than three months. He returned to his parents. He's got his own room. From the previous family brought home to them just bought a stereo system. Took it as a moral and material compensation for everything he caused to the family suffering. Then he met me. For two years he lived at my expense, do nothing. Then he began to work in the boutique. He worked long and very badly. As if the formality of what - that served. Me too my clients said, "No matter how we come there, he sits back, eyes to the ceiling will be rested and dreams." Three months later I was driving it, at last we parted. And then after he uttered to me and my parents mucks at family celebration in the presence of our guests After that he could not, did not have the right to stay in my house. He had to leave. But he took with him my car. Almost new. Valued at fifty thousand dollars! Not a bad profit for the three years of living with me! Of these two years he sat back and lived on all ready. Then everything - still get to work. Himself suggested when I threatened to throw him. Now I understand that it was a chance to take my our "easy come together", "chattels". I fielded it, but it's not the end of history. He had his own key to my apartment, he continued to come to me. One day, coming back from work, he is sitting in my bedroom on the bed, watching TV and eating. Right there on a blanket in front of him is a bowl of salad in his hand he holds a sandwich with sausage tverdokopchenoy. Legs crossed by - Turkish, sit and eat. I show up, he almost choked on his sandwich. Then he explained to me that he had come to pick up any more - that their stuff. Captured what - that household stuff, coffee grinder, answering the phone, loaded it all in my same shopping bag and carried. Then a couple of times he was. Has stolen something - that of books. He claimed that it was he bought them. I changed the lock and forbade him to let the concierge. But he convinced her that we only temporarily do not live together, and asked to borrow a spare key entered. Then he switched the key way - then another, and from that made a duplicate. And one day, he ran into the lunch break, I again found him at home. And guess what he was eating again. Standing in the kitchen in a winter jacket, hat and boots. With one hand he held a glove, shot on the other hand. And that, free from the glove hand took out pots of soup and ate the meat pieces. I cooked this soup in the morning and put it on the window sill to cool. And he came and inquired what was in the pot - and then began to pull the piece by piece. Two fingers holding a piece of meat that way, little finger stuck out and eat. soup on the arm flowing sleeves to the elbow at half-mast ... In my eyes darkened, when I saw it! .. What then was! .. As I was driving it! .. He saw me as, surprise dropped a glove into the pot of soup ... Well, it was too much! I grabbed him by the collar and dragged him out of the kitchen. He reached for his glove - the one that has remained in the borsch and knocked over a pot at me. I grabbed that came to hand ... No, not a rolling pin ... I've got so hung wood, cutting board with a very comfortable handle. I grabbed her and she drove him to the door, as a shovel. He tried to turn all this into a game: he was joking, fooling around, I tried than - that distract, amuse, but I was not to fun. I told him I'll call the police if I see him again. Apparently, he did not want to get caught my eye - it was not part of his plans. And he did not want to leave traces of their stay in my apartment. It was an accident: he came in my absence, to just eat and leave, but I am outraged by the fact of its appearance! It was like stealing. Concierge then I also said that it will file in court and made to pay for all the damages, if she would let him again.
What else - while he spun around my house, watching me, called me and told me about his observations: where and with whom I was - he had seen and remembered everything. I told him that he should work trackers in private investigation, he promised to think about it ... Then I met him a few times in the store, buy food in the evening when he returned from work. He sometimes came up to me and said that he did not have enough money to pay for purchases. One time I even fully paid him a basket of groceries. But asked not to abuse my kindness. That evening, he seemed to feel that I'm sorry for him and began to arise again to visit me, offered to come together and live together. I realized that if you now agree, he would never of me will not go away. I refused. He was outraged, offended, angry that I tore him what - that plan. Became rowdy, whose kicked - that the cart of groceries. The security guard was about to show the door of his, but he calmed him down and explained it to him in our family quarrel. All this I have become bored. I told him I'll go to the police if he did not stop following me, I know him and will file it in court for threats and extortion; witnesses I have. That's only after he was gone and left me alone ... I still do not understand: it was a man or ... - Who are you? What was the fruit of this, of - for which I had to endure so much and lose the best and most recent years, the most mature and the most active period of my life ... "
Carrying large or small values of the previous "environment" Yesenin of them brings to his new environment, the very future in their "habitat" in which he has yet to win a place in the sun. As an introvert - emotivist - intuit - ethics as a positivist and optimistic to expect a positive effect of the first impression produced by them, as an aristocrat, to respect and observe the traditions of Yesenin in the new family will never come without a gift, the new system does not come without its introductory "membership contribution. " Wanting to quickly gain the trust and the location of new friends, which he - that, even a little, but certainly a nice present for them will present. The cost of the gift will make it the most minimal, at best, will take their inexpensive bouquet of flowers. (They later help him to correct an embarrassing impression produced is sometimes used before, a used gift.)
So, for example, coming to a new family of the previous one, a young man (IEI) took with him one of the entrained from the former home of "trophies" - a set of expensive imported soap. When he was presented a gift to his new friend, fell out of an opened box remnant (a piece before been used soap), neatly attached to his old wrapper to create the appearance of novelty and the integrity of the gift. If, in addition to the gift did not come yet, and a bunch of flowers, impressed the young man would immediately and irreparably flawed. Seeing the remnant, which fell directly under his feet, he was pretty embarrassed, explained that this sister, apparently, in his absence, took advantage of pre-prepared gift. Then it turned out that none of his family (including his sister and mom) This behavior is not peculiar. Apparently, when he - that took advantage of this piece, and then secretly planted it in a box and "disguised" traces of previous use.
"Working with trace" - work on an aspect of intuition of time - characterized primarily "white", determined intuitively. In quadras strong laws are strict and harsh: there violators of conventional measures do not stand on ceremony. Fear of punishment is laid in each of the representatives of the decisive Blocks. And he is the most powerful at Intuit: weak sensation causes them to avoid punishment, forcing many to invent clever manipulation, that in any case, the number of "guilty" or suspected not to fall. (Substitute your hand under the ax, his back under the whip there are none). In an effort to avoid punishment, representatives of the beta - quadra (like "white intuity - Ethics), working with traces of" post factum ", eliminate the fact of his guilt, or transfer it to someone else's head after the offense is committed (involutional aspect of the intuition of time working here Reconstructive: how to "fix the past."). Representatives gamma quadra - business logic - intuity (LIE, Jack and OR, Balzac), with their dominant evolutionary intuition of time (+ nc) "work with traces of" constructive - Ahead of the Curve and the prevention of possible future troubles (+ BE). They, as befits a good technology, originally planned his (unpleasant) action so that no trace of their involvement in this process did not exist. (Allegory of this action is well represented in Greek mythology: the god of theft (trade, crafts, diplomacy), cunning and deft manipulation of Hermes (all properties and qualities appropriate to Tim LIE, Jack) so deftly managed to steal from Zeus its sacred cows, that none of the gods, and did not think to suspect him of the crime (just because he did it in its infancy, "without leaving the cradle": stolen cows and lay back in the crib, pretended not yet walking).
In the ITO audit LIE, Jack reveals the manipulation Esenina in his attempts to "cover their tracks", but can manifest and condescending, and an understanding of (a person who is capable of even more tricks). Shtirlits in ITO conflict Esenina all attempts to mask the traces of their offense (all attempts to provide "a rotten egg" whole and intact) will react very painful and aggressive. And it was an attempt to disguise Esenina ("sweep") traces of their illegal stay in the apartment Shtirlitsa attempt to remove or hide the traces of their unsightly indecent acts and manipulate it (Shtirlitsa) personal belongings (and even more food!) May prove to be the that filled the cup, the "last straw" followed by followed by Shtirlitsa is the most brutal and the most resolute response.
11. The logic of the system against the logic of the fact (conflict of the subjectivist and the objectivist).
"Working with trace" - Software Esenina action, is the work on the software aspect of his involyutsionnoy intuition of time (b.i.1) and meets the key objectives of the program functions - "function targets," chief among them - the ability to survive with minimal stock funds extreme conditions, maintaining their top priority in the system. The ability to cover his tracks allows Yesenin bear the blame on someone else's head, turn of "guilty" of the "victim" of the "accused" in the "accusers", from the "debtor" in the "Creditors". And becoming a "lender" Yesenin charged for an incredible high score for compensation for non-pecuniary damage suffered by him. Their "pain", their "suffering" (including for he himself has caused evil) he estimates to the highest standards, but sometimes ("not wanting to wash dirty linen in public") announces that it is ready to temper justice with mercy, and ready accept compensation for moral damage gifts, or material goods. In the extreme case - care, services and the care of "guilty" before him konfliktera. With dualom - Zhukov such tricks as yet - it can go (at Zhukov, like deklatima, and the memory is shorter (+ b.i.5), its easy to confuse the cause - effect relationship sequential course of events, it is easier to mislead subjectively interpreting the ethical motives of (+ b.e.4.) not transferring pressure t.n.s., Zhukov may succumb to emotional onslaught Yesenin, can allow herself to him suggestirovat on the "point of absolute weakness" aspect of the intuition of time (+ b. .5). Could believe it intuitively - the ethical version of past events and to accept the fact that improper actions were a response to what - that it (Zhukov) violent and aggressive actions. konflikterom Stirlitz With all of this does not pass.
Esenina ability to eliminate traces of their actions by applying greater damage, deeply hated shtirlitsu. A habit Esenina to persist in his false arguments, his desire to transfer the blame onto someone else's head (his attempt to blame the very Shtirlitsa all the misadventures and caused him to them (Yesenin) trouble (on the principle of "victim is to blame for their misfortune"), and does bring Shtirlitsa to ... extreme irritation. last straw, the overflowing cup Shtirlitsa patience becomes popular (in dual dyad Esenina) lesson: "Do not you want evil, do not do good." Following this logic, caring sensorik 2 Shtirlits has himself to blame that surrounded with warmth and care ungrateful person. turns out, he is "to blame for the fact that warmed the snake on his chest." 3 And this is the charge makes Shtirlitsa bring down the full measure of his wrath on the Esenina causes it and how to deal with Yesenin with a monster of the human race as a "viper", a place where under the heel and in the dust.
2 According to the classification VV Gulenko "white" (alpha and delta), sensory (Sensory Blocks reasoning) are called "caring" and "black" (beta and gamma), sensory (Sensory Blocks decisive) - "aggressive."
3 How thoughtful sensorik Shtirlits can not take care of the need of his help man. And condemn and reproach him for this - hence cause deep hurt and offense.
The objectivist Shtirlits does not allow anyone to confuse themselves with false versions (and even more - blatantly false, excluding the fact of his personal presence and surveillance. Shtirlits does not allow anyone to sin against the facts. Ikomu can not be intimidated. All attempts to descend on him, "a furious whirlwind," he responds even more violent explosion of emotions. (ethical aspect of emotion (+ ch.e.), channel 2 - 3.) He does not care to fight for a place in the partner system: "If you want to live in this home, be kind to comply with the orders set here : benefit society, work hard and play equally with all, be polite, kind and considerate, talk less, listen more, smaller insist on its privileges: you have them there are no ". Dual Shtirlitsa Dostoevsky, with his keynote ethics Relations ( + b.e.1) and suggestive of business logic (ch.l.5) is most relevant to these requirements. Konflikter - Yesenin (with its mobilization of business logic (+ ch.l.4) and demonstrative ethics of relations (- b.e.8) - at least.
Visibility zeal which Yesenin sometimes manifests shortly after these quarrels, briefly calms Shtirlitsa, but increasingly convinced him of the correctness of his chosen against konfliktera position: a lot of rigor and control, less trust and concessions.
12. Faith and credibility as antagonistic concepts in interaction of conflictors.
Abuse of trust in the eyes of a loved one Shtirlitsa (as well as other representative Blocks objectivist) is the most terrible, the most heinous and unforgivable crime.
FAITH AND TRUST - different concepts. Articles of Faith (religious manifestations of aspects of the system logic and ethics of emotions) are priority in quadras subjectivist ("symbolist"). The servants of the faith are the priority public rights and privileges broadcast on behalf of the gods, occupy the top positions in the social hierarchy. The servants of the faith will command general confidence (as well as an opportunity to abuse them in the interests of the system).
CONFIDENCE - the notion of a more modest (less ambitious), but priority and irreplaceable in quadras objectivist, which are the foundation and the key to successful collaboration and streamline business and ethical relations (are the foundation of a successful and prosperous cooperation on aspects of the business logic and the ethics of relations).
(When the representatives of quasi;; others objectivist knowingly take fraud (deliberately deceived trust our neighbor without being able to find this reasonable or ethical justification), they feel that they have sold his soul to the devil. According to the same standards they assess and actions neighbors in relation to themselves: if a person, without batting an eye, made a meanness, but it does not feel any guilt or shame, looks quite pleased with himself and demands the former kind and respectful, then definitely (at least standards) lost conscience (a domination, sold his soul to the devil, turned into a feature.) And this means that attitude should be appropriate: no love, no, he does not deserve forgiveness. Respect is not out of the question, even if it's a father or a mother. Statements like, "I gave you life, so I have the right to do with you what I want" here does not relieve guilt. (If you view life as a "gift", we should remember that the gifts back is not selected).
And if dominant in beta - Quadra (quadra strong subjectivist) aspects of the logic of (BL +) and strong-willed sensory (-ch.s.) are considered priority values, as permitted under these aspects of the job and willful abuse is quite common and widespread phenomenon, necessary to protect the interests of the system, the delta of the orthogonal them - Quadra (in quadra reasoning objectivist) related to these negative phenomena and completely the opposite: they are treated here as a flagrant violation of human rights as an unacceptable manifestation of tyranny and despotism, as unfair and outrageous deviation from the principles of humanity, as a gross violation of ethical standards.
In the orthogonal and mutually antagonistic quadras aristocrats (second and fourth)
because of the special veneration of tradition and continuity,
because of the hierarchical characteristics of attitude,
by reason of traditional respect for the elderly members of the family all these conflict contradiction between faith and privileges of rank democratic rights TRUST (which must be respected by all honest and decent people regardless of age or rank) are the most complex and confusing. And therefore is most acute, and allowed extremely painful and aggressive due to the large backlog of mutual resentment.
Conflict of interest, conflict of motivations, conflicts of interpretation of opinion combined with all the other conflict-generating factors, toughen the fight, deepen and sharpen the contradictions.
In a conflict dyad kvestimov Shtirlitsa Esenina and this antagonism is enhanced and complemented by vindictiveness and a special (and rancor) due to the inertia of the "long retentive" aspect involyutsionnoy intuition of time (-b.i.), which both konflikterov is an inert block model for fourth positions (at Shtirlitsa) and the first (Yesenin) functions are not forgotten resentment and guilt can not be forgiven in this dyad, the debts are not written off period of limitation and not canceled.
13. Esenin. Operational measures and methods in conflict relationships.
- What are reduced operational measures Esenina in conflict ITO? What exactly is it annoys shtirlitsu?
- Jealous of the creative and business success Shtirlitsa, his endurance, efficiency and organization, as well as feeling like not privy to the results of these successful works, feeling that the fruits of success partner pass him by, Yesenin can take action and make some effort to ensure that the the results of this creative activity was not as successful, but the activity itself is not as productive. Only under such conditions Esenina own lack of success (and the difference between its modest merits and outstanding successes Shtirlitsa) would not have it so deeply hurt and oppress.
Using the imaginary rumors (which later disbanded them and work as a real and actual shtirlitsu complicate the situation), Yesenin knocks Shtirlitsa with business sentiment, trying to shock him with this news: "And as you say, that you have already worked their, has exhausted its potential!" - He says shtirlitsu with impudent grin and watches produced effect. If the impression seems to Yesenin not strong enough, he can throw out shtirlitsu a whole bunch of the same dirty gossip, of which one is worse than the other: "But this - that ... (followed by first and last name) said that he hates you. And this - that said he would never work with you ... And will not contract with you no not sign, he does not trust you ... "- blurted it all again with Yesenin impudent grin peering partner's eyes, expecting to see in them something that will convince him the correctness of the chosen method of terror
Shtirlitsu this behavior seems strange and outrageous. In his business qualities (as in the field of innate professionalism), it is certain enough that can not believe all of this. But in view of the fact that all this is most defiantly informed him of his closest partner (who is paid a lot of energy, attention, and time), then the partner's behavior itself perceived betrayal, like a punch in the back, as arrogant, nasty, outrageous, and monstrously abusive act.
Through these (or very similar) attacks terrorized Shtirlitsa Yesenin, jealous of his success. Playing on quadral complex Shtirlitsa - "complex involving wings," which intuitively guessed it, Yesenin terrorizes Shtirlitsa gloomy forecasts for him on a painful aspect of the intuition of time (b.i.4) "beats his wings" on prospects at future plans, BEATS ON POTENTIAL!
At the same time inhibits the activation function Yesenin Shtirlitsa intuition potential (+ ch.i.6). - Strikes the priority value, the dominant quadras reasoning. A blow to the potential in quadras reasoning is considered a crime and is perceived as terror (which it essentially is).
Playing at the program negativism Shtirlitsa (+ ch.l.1), Yesenin these remarks Shtirlitsa exacerbates relations with others, strengthens his resentment at what - what specific individuals. Playing the suspiciousness Shtirlitsa on his conscience (b.e.5), enhances the negative, exacerbating the overall negative mood (+ ch.e.3), playing on his negativism.
After promising much and not giving anything, Yesenin "obneset" Shtirlitsa another and deserved success, very handy and time causing him to stumble out of the blue and fail the game is at home. (What then will speak of him as having exhausted its potential "worst specialist" is not necessarily a man and a loser who has nothing to be charging: any work would fail).
By their logic, the activation ratios (b.l.6) Yesenin is very well aware and wise one simple truth: "a good reputation can be irreparably ruin even the smallest offense, and a bad reputation can be dramatically correct even the smallest, but the time and place of the service provided (just like on a dry tree green leaf looks brighter than in the young, fruit-bearing).
Yesenin understands that sometimes just seem profitable irresponsible slacker, but to a place and time to provide the necessary and important person is very important and useful amenities will be more helpful (the service is perceived to be a nice surprise as a gift and a miracle), will open up new opportunities and prospects will be given more authority. Using this pattern, any mediocrity can "get around a curve" active and able-bodied person, then to them it is the same with the new heights and lead.
Through these workarounds Manerov Yesenin makes a successful partner to lose some of their benefits (merit becomes less mistakes and flaws more) and it smooths out the potential difference between them and Stirlitz on all aspects of their inert block-on aspects of the logic of relations, business logic, intuition and opportunities intuition of time (set in which both konflikterov same).
By all indications, "lag" (in terms of "inactivity", "carelessness", "lack of initiative" and the lack of success) Yesenin by such logic can call Shtirlitsa juggling with yourself (not to be jealous and hurt), and equating, holds it in state: "retards", "freeze in time", "plunges into hibernation", after which activated its new advantages in the logic of relations (-b.l.) is starting to catch up and overtake. If the catch directly does not work, it bypasses "on the curve" using their own savings or tried and tested in partnership with him systemic relations and communications. Then again "hits" on its potential: the resulting negative feedback on the quality of work Shtirlitsa about his success and career growth, expresses "the opinions of others," and notes it as "a well-known fact."
Appropriating part of the success Shtirlitsa Yesenin can scheme against him, grab a parallel or a higher position. Taking advantage of the new provisions may break shtirlitsu career, to destroy what - that established his business connections. ("In war as in war") may see about that shtirlitsu did not provide the required credits are not allocated the necessary subsidies (such examples exist).
At the same time Yesenin be emotionally oppress Shtirlitsa, knocking the worker and the business attitude will affect his plans for his performance. Bringing to life Shtirlitsa fuss, pendulum, destruction, desolation, chaos and disorder, Yesenin, his whining, "oohs", "sighs" own clumsiness and carelessness exacerbating the chaos and confusion, making small household nuisance into a major (and sometimes insoluble) household problem.
- Why is that?
- Yesenin disrupts the normal, natural life activity Shtirlitsa knocks it out of the normal and natural business regime. Charges and infects Shtirlitsa laziness, boredom and inactivity - destroys it (Shtirlitsa) work on the software aspect of the business logic (+ ch.l.1) violates the natural and normal operation of the software functions (and therefore destroys the functional activity of the TIM), negates the value of Software aspects Shtirlitsa and it imposes its antagonistic to Tim values, destructive and unacceptable to him.
Shtirlitsu translating the feelings that he is experiencing at the thought of the work ahead, Yesenin depresses (lowers) the business activity Shtirlitsa and holds it in place indefinitely (lulling and calming his sayings like: "If you want to work, lie down, go to sleep and everything will "). All that he can "reasonably" make your own words: "If you have accumulated so many things that you do not know which one of them used to take, take it easy and do nothing, wait until tomorrow. Maybe tomorrow need to do half of these cases will disappear. A the day after tomorrow will be no need to do the other half of cases. And before you know, all the things for you who have already - that did. " Following this recommendation, Shtirlits (in partnership with Yesenin) is convinced that with this method of doing business problems only accumulate: Yesenin not one of those who do the work for his partner, he and his then-job for himself does not. But it continues to enforce a partner in the house of chaos and disorder, playing his curiosity to such "miracles" and urging him to hold off whenever the performance of a work, "Wait till tomorrow you'll see, tomorrow will not be necessary to do the job ! .. " - "But who will do it?" - Surprised Shtirlits. - "But wait till tomorrow, you will see ..." - quiet (and intriguing) it Yesenin. A disgruntled customer calls the next day, asked whether the work performed. After learning that fails, soothing, "Can not hurry. We are already committed to another." Yesenin triumphs, he was right. "See, I told you not to do this job! So she did not need!" (And the fact that he worked coordinator - before someone - then called, with whom - then whispered, someone to whom - is sent, and Shtirlitsa just kept in hibernation, convincing not do the job, which he by what - then their ties supposed to give another (in order of good service, personal future benefits and personal present and future "offsets") - this of course is silent Yesenin. Shtirlitsa It just convinces that was right (he was "more clever and far-sighted it" ) when persuaded to relax and laze the day before: "... And so - Imagine: you have done the job, and it turned out to be unnecessary.'s good that you listen to me and rested, and the kind of work we will always find ...". then turns what kind of work they do not find it and do not get it. he Shtirlits not get the job, having proved himself at least once irresponsible. Yesenin But this work and will receive a companion who would be getting - something else, but do not spy. Though perform its an old friend, and memory have exactly shtirlitsu: a reliable, conscientious and highly skilled worker, temporarily stranded, it is for half the price (or even free), and perform the work, and many others - in order not to fall out of the system, of their professional environment, do not lose the qualification.
Using the uncertainty in the position Shtirlitsa and uncertainty about the future, Yesenin can get it stuck in "no time" for an arbitrarily long time, and it uses this delay to overtake him most, take pre-emptive (key) position, push it out of the case , to intercept him for his work to change his plans to disrupt what - the important enterprise. Can take over the functions of its head and offer him a job on unfavorable terms ("thank you for," or "for the sake of advertising," just to forget about him.) His niche, he will now take a firm and never did give up (if only he did not wish to change their plans.)
Lowering the business activity of his partner, reassuring and comforting him at the same time restricting his initiative and lulling his vigilance all sorts of exhortations ("Do not worry, everything will be arranged a"), Yesenin it can easily "get around it in a curve," pushed out of the system, intercept his power and himself to take his place.
- These cases were?
- Known historical example of such a workaround: this is a simple way to 249 AD noble Roman patrician and general Decius (IEI, Yesenin), a close friend who ruled at the time of the Emperor Philip, seized power and became a usurper himself, "dismissed" his friend - the emperor from his post. It all started with the fact that Philip had problems with the legions that stand in the border provinces. The legions revolted and proclaimed emperor of one of their leaders. Philip was seriously alarmed and shared concern with his friend Decius. Decius told him not to worry, no action is taken, and provide a natural course of events unfold, "Let go as is. No need to do anything.'ll See, everything would sort itself out." Emperor calmed down and went back to their usual business - to peers and amusements, and Decius went to pacify the rebels. Sent forward his trusted people who have dismissed rumors he needed (described the military merits of Decius, his influence in the region, have exaggerated the number of legions, which he leads a), the rebels believe the rumors and decided to change their plans. They conspired against their leader, executed him and his closest associates, and then proclaimed emperor Decius and greeted him with appropriate honors. Decius honors received, the emperor himself admitted and went to Rome to take away power from his former friend, the Emperor Philip. At this time, Philip did not wait until the situation is "settled itself", he gathered some of the legions and out to meet the rebels. Fought with them, was defeated and killed. The authorities in Rome turned to Detsiyu. In 249, he became emperor in 251 died in Thrace in battle with the Goths. In this short period of his reign, he was able to run and so destroy the state of the empire, so managed to turn back the clock back to such horrendous forms of archaic pagan cults that after his death in the minds of the Romans made drastic changes: the first implanted paganism came to be seen by them both failed to justify their trust belief: in the reign of Decius gods were deaf to the prayers of the Romans and do not expose them to hazards and disasters. Example Decius was contagious to other generals, who later became just proclaim himself emperor, and to rebel against Rome, taking her away from him and turning into independent states those provinces which were intended to protect. As a result, there has been a clear trend towards the decentralization of power, which in time and caused the collapse of the mighty empire before.
- That's really, you never know where you find where you lose ...
- With involutional (reconstructive) programs that happens quite often. And it is an aspect of the involutional intuition of time (-b.i.): what - that it will aggravate the crisis, which - it will destroy the fragile system, and there is already in place, liberated from the old buildings, through new dominant evolutionary software recovers best of when - and then managed to keep being rebuilt at best, a safe, prosperous and long-term option.
14. Esenin. Working with plans.
"The best victory - is one in which the upset
and plans, unions and friendly enemy. "
(An old Chinese proverb)
Yesenin able to work with the plans (friend or foe). For him, it's the most normal, natural and familiar work on the software aspect of the "distant" intuition of time (b.i.1) - intuition global change.
Yesenin is able to extract information relating to other people's plans for the future, is able to use this information to their advantage, able to destroy them and overlap, especially when at stake is the success of his professional career, his prestige and authority.
Driven hunting or information war against a man trying to thwart his plans, Yesenin, too, can very well hold. Calculates far ahead of all the possible moves of the "enemy", podsterezhet it where you want it to and block the transition to the "next level." Easily ruin his plans for the future, especially if they are known to him in advance.
Sweetest woman IEI, Yesenin, music teacher, piano one of the Leningrad school of music, having obtained a talented student (ILE, Don Quixote), but without achieving the desired success of it, was to terrorize the nagging, accusations and reproaches him, and his parents. Upon learning that the parents are going to transfer the student to another (an older, experienced) teacher (EIS Dumas), it was set against the teacher (Dumas) of other teachers of the school. At the final concert, held at the end of the year the boy showed good results. With that in fact he studied six months instead of a year, he played better than the other students of the teacher, but his first teacher (IEI, Yesenin), a member of the examination committee, put him and the other disciples to low ratings. Teacher fired, expelled students. The boy's parents tried to keep in the same school, but transferred to another specialty (the child loved to sing, and they do not want to miss the opportunity to give him a musical education). But not here - it was, the teacher - IEI set up against him and the administration, teachers and other school. No one wanted to take him to his class. When her parents tried to arrange a child to another music school (the same region), it was revealed that his first teacher-IEI and there "everything is under control": this boy has already been warned. And even though the child is brilliantly passed the entrance exams (year of study at a music school was not wasted), it is already there "waiting" and were willing to advance him to refuse. After the exam in a class called his mother and asked directly: "Your boy was trained in this - that school, so - that teacher?" - "Yes." - Was the answer. "Well, we all know about him and his teaching will not take!"
As it turned out, the child is the first teacher angry because frankly bored in her class, and therefore the learning outcomes have been modest. When he showed good results with another teacher, the teacher IEI afraid that the comparison with new successes would not be in favor of it (and its reputation as the best teacher of the school, it is more expensive), so did everything possible to make the administration to expel a student (ILE) and fire his teacher (EIS). It has provided all possible plans and actions of the pupils' parents, restored them against other schools and the administration did not calm down as long as they did not break up with the idea to give the boy a decent musical education. Did everything in her power to the way it was closed: even in the chapel, the choir boys would not have him.
15. Esenin. Takeover of another's time as work of program aspect.
Seizure and interception of time (temporary resources, reserves, and all that they have accumulated) - Esenina to the same routine as for his co-player Zhukov capture and taking power with all its accumulated material resources and values. "Your chances will be ours" - the objectives and position, significant for both.
Although the goal to capture someone else's time, from the point of view Esenina can be very significant and methods are quite innocent, the consequences for the partner (which Yesenin this period of time cut off) can be unpredictable, dangerous and fraught with troubles.
Especially hard hit react tracking this moment konflikter Esenina Shtirlits, which aspect of the intuition of time falls on the mobilization function (next to "fear zone": - b.i.4), and the realization that he is at least a few minutes was whose object - that manipulation (like a puppet jerked in anyone - that his hands), he was deeply hurt, ("hits" on the software aspect of the logic of action), resulting in shock and frightens. Especially if these manipulations jeopardize human life dear to him, and had negative consequences for him and his loved ones.
One sweetest lady (FEL Shtirlits) returned home in the evening, along with a child (a boy of eight years). The bus met his friend (IEI, Esenina), a quiet, modest unmarried girl of 28 years. Very nice talk with her. Together, they headed for the door of the bus, came in one stop. FEL Shtirlits took the boy by the hand and was about to go home ... and it was not two steps and have not had time to move away from the bus, when this sweet girl (IEI, Yesenin) grabbed her arm, began to pull a fast and so saying: "Wait - wait, do not go away! .. Wait, do not go! 'Please, wait, do not go! .." Shtirlits with surprise looks at her, did not understand and asked to explain his behavior. And that explains nothing, clinging, embarrassed groans, gasps, sighs, shrugs, depicts the confusion and despair. She looks so, if she wants to ask what kind of - it's very important for her favor, but still can not be solved. "What is the matter?" - Shtirlits inquires. Then her baby she held the hand, began to act up and break out: wanted to go home. Shtirlits tried to break free from the tenacious grip of his friend (Esenina), but she continued to hold her tightly, her face on - continue to express frustration, and she was almost in tears continued to beg, "Wait, do not go, I beg you very much! Do not go! .. ". They do what - while standing at the bus stop, the child pulls the lady to one side to the other girl. Finally the child comes out of her hand and runs away into the darkness. Shtirlits only time to shout after him, "Wait for me at the door! ..". (Their house was not far away, two minutes walk). Then he turned to the girl, trying to free herself, but she kept it tight and all pleaded, "Wait, do not go! .. Ah .. Well, do not you understand? .. Oh! .." Shtirlits did not understand that happening, asked her to explain his behavior, endeavoring to go ... But the way she did and did not explain continued to hold, groan, gasp, sigh, exclaimed: "Well you do not understand .." From the outside it looked absolutely terrible: Shtirlits shoves her, pushed, pulled away, but she would not let her: for her to push through a couple of steps, then got caught on that - and then went on to hold, begging to stay. All of these variations on the theme: "Do not go, stay with me!" lasted about fifteen minutes. Shtirlitsu but they seemed an eternity. Finally, just as suddenly as it gripped, this girl is abruptly released her from herself. Resentfully tossed her head, waved her hand and went to his house. Shtirlits, cursing himself for compliance and stupid curiosity, she ran to catch up with his son. Child near the entrance was not. At the entrance it was not there. She looked for him in all the floors looking at the playground and in the yard. The child was not there. She paused, trying to collect my thoughts, I thought that he may be sitting and waiting for her where - some of its neighbors. Distractedly looked around and finally - that saw him. Luckily for her, he quickly returned home, although she was afraid to assume the worst. She ran up to him, looked at him and realized that what happened - that terrible: the child was soaking wet from head to toe filthy mud, crying all the time and what was - what terrified. It turned out that he had gone home by the shortest route through the construction area (although to do so he was strictly forbidden!). The site was poorly lit, the ground was wet after the rain and damp, the child slipped and fell into what - then newly dug hole. The pit was not very deep, but well above its growth. At the construction site was empty. He screamed, but nobody heard. He tried on their own to get out of this hole, but slipped and fell down again and fell again chosen. What - what a miracle he was able to finally catch on that - and then he scrambled up. He came home all frightened, blubbered, filthy with mud, wet through and through (he's still in kind - that fell off a puddle). FEL Shtirlits was horrified by all that has happened: in the stories she blamed only himself (and this lady, who is so stupid kept her at the bus stop). Redeems his son by feeding, calming and putting it to sleep, she called to her and asked for an explanation of his actions. That it all in detail and explained, it appears, at this stop, she saw a young man who lived next door and, as she thought, "put on her eye." She needed a reason (or excuse) for what - the time to stand nearby and give him the opportunity to go up to her and start talking. But in order not to appear to him as an obsessive, she wanted to create the appearance that there is not on its own, but just talking with my friend, "continues the conversation begun more on the way." That's it for this staging, and kept near her FEL Shtirlitsa all the time, while the young man was waiting for the bus. From the outside it looked very convincing: the interlocutor of endeavoring to leave, IEI was trying to hold her back. "Performance" was on the verge of collapse. IEI felt very uncomfortable: moaned, gasped, sighed, embarrassed, but did not concede, though, and I understand what all of this probably will not work. But she did not want to miss this chance to explain their behavior and also not familiar she could not be recognized as she manipulates her ...
Upon learning of this story motivated, partner - Shtirlits was shocked. She has not had time to recover from all the experiences of the evening, and having learned the reason has not been able to recover from disturbance and terror. She expressed her friend all about her thinking. And that to her: "Well, do not you understand? .. You just think: you have a family, a child, and I have none of that ..." And then just Shtirlits realized and remembered that this lovely girl lives with her jealous and demanding old woman - a mother in a small one-room apartment. Takes care of her, and caters to all subject to it. She always walks dejectedly, offended by fate, sad, sad, down in the mouth. He considers himself a victim of circumstances and does not see the possibility of that - or change. Under these conditions, at her age, not many opportunities were successfully arrange their personal lives. So she grabs every opportunity, as a drowning man clutches at a straw. Seeing off at a nice young man, she made this impromptu performance, hoping that out of this - something happens. And the fact that the show did not work - that's not her fault: she was trying to hint to her friend that the reason for her behavior is very respectful. But that still did not understand: just think about yourself and your baby ... All of these reasons, according to Shtirlitsa, IEI, Esenina did not excuse: you can not in the pursuit of personal success to expose a person's life (and especially children!) Risk. After this event she broke all ties with IEI. Do not call her, did not communicate, to avoid meeting their common friends. Once on the bus IEI (Esenin) again made its way through the crowd to her, gently touched her shoulder with an expression of sincere repentance looked into her eyes, but she waved him away in horror from her as from a terrible ghost, turned to the window and pretended does not want to accept it or nor, a fortiori, to renew the relationship.
16. IEI-LSE. The destruction of the system.
Being left out of the system, provident IEI, Yesenin, in contrast to other personality types, this system takes revenge, kills her by the principle: "Do not get you to anybody". Convinces himself that the system, which it rejects (does not accept, does not recognize it, replacing it "overboard", or pushes to the slave position), it is not worthy, and therefore has no right to exist. "The system itself is to blame for the fact that it is not fully appreciated its potential and its potential. And if so, let her and convinced to the contrary, in his own bitter experience." (This is not worthy of it, this system is not worth it.)
Hence, mistrust, and resentment and suspicion. And inexhaustible ingenuity in weaving plots and information warfare.
Hence, all the scandals and accusations Esenina to address those who displaces, holds positions on the slave or secondary roles. And the attacks and claims to have disappointed his "partner," You are my "six" ... You're holding me zombiruesh! .. I'm from - for you have lost everything. Forgot everything he knew, all that he could, the best I could! All of my failures - for you. With you I'm cashing in some trouble ... With you I make enemies ... "
When the attacks Esenina are most vicious and dangerous, and the damage caused to them - the most tangible Shtirlits proceeds to openly hostile action. The stock of his patience wearing thin, and he puts Esenina the door with his belongings, giving it clear that for its further fate is not responding. Yesenin, feeling yourself in this situation a little, weak and helpless, but then, after a few failed attempts to appease and placate konfliktera, takes a completely opposite course. Do not shy in the media and expression, he begins to fight desperately to defend their honor and dignity, their place and position in the system. But Shtirlits, got into a fight, do not back down: Esenina expelled from their homes, from their family, from their lives, not stopping at nothing. On the consequences of it at this point thinks less of everything (as well as the success of your event) to secure yourself, disarm and neutralize konfliktera - that its main task, which Shtirlits (unlike Professor Preobrazhensky) can not always successfully cope.
- What does Yesenin? What does he expect from your partner?
- Kindness, acceptance, respect, love, understanding - that's what he is looking for and wants to find in each of the partners, regardless of their merit and their personal contribution to the partnership. And in a relationship with a pragmatic business and its konflikterom - Stirlitz it is only a "vacancy" in the office "life partner". About the enduring affection, sincere and ardent feeling of perennial emotions in partnership with Stirlitz he can only dream of. Dreamer and romantic Yesenin of each partnership is looking for "Eternal Spring" and "eternal and immortal love." And in the ITO conflict with autocratic (when angry) and demanding Shtirlitsa it instead of the expected "eternal love" runs the risk of "eternal servitude." (Such, for example, what it receives in aid climbing audit, becoming hostage to unreasonable demands and needs of its auditor Jack reveals itself to him ruthless and despotic exploiter of his powers, his (Esenina) will, concessions and good location.)
As a true beta - quadrant (and like any self-respecting person) Yesenin not stand cruel exploitation, slavery, oppression, but anticipate all of these measures and methods when the eco - system, furnished by his partner ceases to be excessive, it becomes insufficient experiencing a shortage of necessary resources and facilities. Then Yesenin anticipates and understands that it is prepared in this system, the role of at whose expense will fill the shortage of resources - it is those who are now (or soon) will begin to exploit, oppress, forced to work on the simple grounds that physically it is weaker than Shtirlitsa not so strong, not so tough as he is. Not able to give a "oppressing" rebuff, etc. "The well-known case: the strong to oppress the weak always want! .." A fall in a weak position, which is "to blame for his weakness," Yesenin not want, who wants to be the one on whom carry water?
In partnership with Stirlitz he does not feel safe, get tired of bumping, "Go do something else, fifth ... tenth ..." feels extreme in cart - those whom continues to drop the whip "owner", but wants to get out of this bondage and be who he harnesses himself and his heavy-handed whipping konfliktera. And he does: the time and patience to do the trick. Of conflict relations, as well as of any partnership, Yesenin comes with certain moral and material gain, with some advantage for themselves.
- What helps Yesenin overcome all these challenges?
- His optimism all the same program of "eternal spring", "eternal youth", "eternal hope" that forms the software for it intuition of time, combined with the creative aspect of the ethics of emotions (- b.i.1 / + ch.e. 2) increases the incentives program and is "awakening the senses and desires," the program "awakening and rebirth of hope," under favorable conditions (where - and there in the distant future). But, at least for those hopes to live for, is to endure and wait in a certain way and plans affecting the mood of your partner. (In itself, it does not work all need to produce, to all efforts)
Aspect intuition of time playing here and as a positive aspect, and as involutional conservation program efforts and resources over time (b.i1), followed by a revival of their lives through the awakening of the senses (+ ch.e.2).
Awakening the senses to life and life itself (is the beginning of all beginnings), the awakening of the ability to love is love, enclosing a capacity of birth and rebirth of life - the ability to love, to live and enjoy life and have "eternal spring" - the life, reviving after hibernation - the eternal energy stimulus, a perpetual motion machine of all living things.
How involyutory - intuit, creative emotional ethics - subjectivist Yesenin believes in "eternal spring", in the awakening of the soul to new feelings and experiences, simply because this program is living in it.
Awakening of the soul to new hopes and new joy did not rule out further suffering and frustration that follow it all.
As a prudent - Quests - positivist Yesenin tries to separate the positive component of the program from the negative, leaving the joy and charm of love yourself and your partner, and the suffering and frustration set aside (makes the brackets, replacing a secondary plan), moves them away from themselves in time, "leaves on then", hoping that then they like - anything can be avoided.
17. IEI-LSE. The interaction of two asking types - aristocrats - dynamic types - emotivists.
Yesenin emotional monotony does not recognize the (speaker). The information does not allow stagnation. Tries to update their impressions, feelings.
Shtirlits - also a speaker. He, too, is necessary to change impressions, change seats. He also likes to travel, relax in comfort, meet, meet interesting people. This property is in it Yesenin very much. Especially when it is possible to go with a partner - Stirlitz at social events, attend inserts go to the premiere. But you do not feel the "shadow" of his partner not to allow him to treat himself as a run of the mill "attendant", Yesenin, going out into the light, often working on their own independent program: make new and promising dating relationship with the necessary fixes, useful to him in human beings. Opinion partner, her mood and attitude to all this deliberately ignores. Can pretend not to notice it at all: turn his back on her and will be keen to talk to anyone - then another, as if there is no one around. (For him, this is also a method of struggle for a place in the system: it is not a "stooge", "not a boy escort", and an individual has equal rights to all (b.l.6), so neither pleasing, nor obey it is going. To be more convincing, he can spoil her mood surge of emotion and anger on anyone spontaneously about his choice. This can be sharp attacks and the comments he has made in a rude manner, in the presence of strangers. This will be "painful examination flight ", which he will terrorize her, when they will be left alone, and the eternal carping criticisms:" In order looked askance, it pointedly smiled ... How are you today led! I was ashamed of you!. "In addition, it is a blow to the software aspect Shtirlitsa - business logic, the logic of facts, the logic of action (it turns out he does not know how to behave!), it is also humiliating expulsion to the slave position. doing so, Yesenin "default" takes on the features of the controller, rises to the level of mentor, talking down, annoyed, instructive tone. So, already goes to a different level of the hierarchy, another rank: spontaneously, in fact impose their morals sokontaktniku relationship of subordination, leaving a dominant position.
Naturally, Shtirlits live with it can not. There is a conflict in which Yesenin reminded that he is "the value of the variable", "Do not like it, go away! Thee here no one keeps". And this is a direct replacement of the system, which Yesenin can not allow that. Here - and then start the main emotional shots, compared to which all previous (sometimes triggered by Yesenin) was only quiet - peaceful prelude Every emotional charge of the "volley" seasoned fair amount of lexical information, or "poison", every word hurts and injures. Each phrase is shocking your deepest cynicism. Each such a scene etched in my memory, and then many more times with horrific details of playing, pops terrifying nightmare memory.
Turns into a huge trouble for Shtirlitsa each such "out in the light." But like someone to replace - then another (leave yourself a "sit behind the stove at home" during all these receptions) Yesenin shtirlitsu also can not afford. He does not allow themselves to be treated as a hanger-on or as a pet, which is left to sit at home waiting for a host. (Although sometimes playing the role of "domestic pet" - "White - fluffy" pet. Sometimes even mocks it, clearly hinting at his position, and speculates its benefits (which is why - that it only tracks one).
For example, one young man (IEI, Yesenin) - temporary law husband of one solid ladies, being in a playful mood, sometimes, as if in mockery, singing one of his favorite songs in early childhood:
"I'm fluffy, little white kitten
Not once did I catch any mice.
And no matter where I came,
I hear from the big and little ones:
"Kitty, kitty, kitty".
I always pat now and then,
And feed the candy they want ... "
This song was his partner perceived as "soft." And it is very angry over this. It seemed to her that he fills his worth, suggesting that as a "beloved kitten" it's everywhere and always (or even a long time) will be needed.)
- And be sure to tease Yesenin Shtirlitsa? ..
- Like any trend - kvestimu, Yesenin need to find a way to update and change the mood of the experience. Sometimes he uses for this purpose, any spontaneously selected a reason. (And in the absence of a real excuse may be amiss and fictional.)
For the same change impressions Yesenin from time to time have to rectify and pacify the situation. Translating the relationship in a positive manner, it periodically tries to smooth the conflict (can not always be at odds: to war and that's enough!). Change the temper justice with mercy, and the first to come to the partner, trying to make amends to them visibility sincere sorrow and remorse. If the partner (and even more konflikter) forgives him through the day - another is the same thing: a new way out into the light, a new embarrassment in the presence of strangers, a new row and a new squabble with a new splash and a new discharge of emotions.
The frequency of regular publication of Yesenin in software accurately determines the intuition of time. Keeps abreast of the secular, business and cultural life of his partner. Monitoring developments collects (hogging) sent him an invitation, leaflets and business cards. Some of them he uses (or intends to continue to use) in their own interests and goals. Monitors the mail. About prompts for the holidays and guests know ahead of others. Good or bad news about his partner, is also among the first to know. Can manipulate the plans and the mood of his partner, knocking him to the beginning of an important event (on your own) good or bad news. (If you consider your partner as a competitor (or just jealous of him, his successes, his rapid promotion) can rip it so it is very important business meeting (usually, it is the one on which his partner expects most) and he plans to break for the future. Maybe make (or talk) partner to give up some minor business projects for the sake of one (on which to concentrate all his forces), but then, later this is the only business project will break with the ease with which one could cut - only a thin thread.
Before the beginning of cultural and entertainment events Yesenin tries not to argue with your partner. Makes concessions to the dispute does not mind allows the partner to insist on. Sometimes just a sidelong glances at him, as if it harbors resentment and involves even the score at the first opportunity. But to do this again, wait and podgadat moment when the partner is the least ready to strike when he is happy, relaxed and vulnerable. When surrounded by the attention and respect of his colleagues will be pleased to spend time on what - or standby event, then he (Yesenin) and find a way to vent pent irritation.
Sergey, 28 years old, IEI, gentleman at large, common-law husband and constant companion of one representative ladies (Ph.D., head of the department in a prestigious university) accompanied her as an "assistant" at the conference, which was held for several days in a respectable boarding house. All of these days he is a very good time until his companion spoke at meetings with their speeches and presentations. But before the close of the conference, for dinner, especially after the success of its report, hearing from all sides rave reviews about her performance, he suddenly blew up and yelled at her colleagues: "You idiots! You are all fools! You have no idea how it all of you hates. She despises you, she is laughing at you! says that you do not represent a ... "His companion was shocked:
- That's not true! - She cried. - What are you talking about? Do not listen to him! ..
- Yes, Tanya, yes! - Clung to their version of Sergei, making it clear that is not going to back down. - Remember when you said yourself that they do not understand the business. Just write off one another ...
All and gasped! Dropped their forks on plates. Stopped there, staring in horror at her.
- Do not listen to him! That's not true! - She cried.
- Yes, Tanya, yes! It's true! You do not respect them! - He continued to denounce it. - Do you hate your job and. Remember when you told me herself that would have long since gone from the pulpit ...
- It's all lies! I did not say anything! - She cried, but her no one was listening. Since it is already "it was all over." The participants disagreed. Something - who was transplanted at the next table.
With great difficulty and only by personal merit, she managed to hush up the story. But Sergei did not rest on it. On what - while he calmed down. Was extremely compliant, shy and caring. Looked at her with an expression of sincere affection and regret. Did not ask for forgiveness, but made it clear that he wants to redeem himself. And - it is self happened that she let him in as an assistant to reconnect with her during the next assizes, which took place in one of the southern towns located on the hillside. As she lectured at the university, he drove them all over the place in a rented car, watching the city, surveying the surroundings. On the eve of departure, after one particularly successful lecture (in which he was personally present), he invited her to go to a restaurant, and then go and see the moonlight on a deserted monastery, who was in the vicinity of the city. She wanted to first see the monastery, and then go to the restaurant. But he stubbornly insisted: the monastery it is necessary to look at the light of the moon: "You know how it will be beautiful! Come on, look!'ll See, it will be very beautiful: the night, the moon, the stars and all of a silvery, moonlit monastery! .. ".
Realizing that the program has not changed, she lost.
The monastery was high, infinitely long wall lined with a pile of stones on the outside. The area was completely deserted, dark night. Where - and there could be seen a moon and mountains. Hardly - she barely got out of the rubble, knocking his feet in the blood, broken heels. They got into the car, and he asked her to go back to town a short way. She agreed, and then he began to carry out his revenge: in the darkness took her to the mountain serpentine, constantly turning off lights for two - three minutes. She screamed in fear, screaming in terror. And he - on the contrary, came in good spirits, joking, laughing and behaved as if all these manipulations with the headlights do not depend on it. Every now and then say, "Oh, extinguished! .. Wait a minute, now part of ... Oh, again went out ... Now, now on will not be afraid ... Oh, again extinguished ...". Only then she realized that, apparently, this was the way it has been well studied: it included lights before the next turn, and then immediately turn off their. And then intuitively sensed when their turn next time. This went on for about ten minutes - fifteen. Later, comparing the route and length of the course, she realized that he was traveling on the same serpentine up - down a few times, until enough of ...
- What is the reason for such cruelty? What causes these actions?
- The reason above all that Yesenin (as an introvert - subjectivist - aristocrat) experiencing psychological distress because of the uncertainty of its place in the system.
When he feels that the ambiguity of his position is beginning to annoy others and gives occasion for gossip, ridicule, as it too often are beginning to ask questions about its place in the system of relations (who is he to whom and by whom have) when he feels that these issues it will soon begin to ask when he reads them on their faces or in the eyes of others, but neither me nor to rebuild their relationship does not want - do not want to take any other obligations other than those alleged by which he can be considered anyone and would not answer - the situation itself (this ambivalent position) is starting to annoy him more and more.
Esenina can be annoying tolerance partner to this complex, ambiguous situations (there is a feeling that your partner wants to beat his time by intuition: buying time, taking advantage of (certainty dispensation material security) of their situation.
If irrational, vague, shape its relationship with the partner (when he himself - that he has imposed) becomes too burdensome for Esenina in social and psychological terms, if depressing, frustrating him, holds down his initiative and freedom of action, it sets up against others, built on the unfavorable conditions, it does not solve the problem, not closer to the target, not open to him new opportunities and prospects, but it threatens his reputation and cause a lot of rumors and gossip), it will build up anger and fear of the uncertainty of their position. The feeling will be like, as if he is living on a volcano, and every minute should be prepared to justify to strangers and strangers to him by people who just try to ask the official side of his ("Where's your wife? And why you are not together? And you painted?") . Naturally, all the troubles he will blame their partner. Will begin to rebuild their relationship with an even greater benefit for themselves, require even more power, will seek equal rights, the official recognition (and retain) their status. But then, this side of the relationship becomes a burden: according to our works and deeds she did not correspond. And then he will be afraid to expose even more.
- And what does he do?
- Transfers the impact on partner: starts to expose it. Puts it in a very bad light: distorts the facts (protecting the interests of his friendly relations, trying to adapt it for yourself and keep it in a dominant position), a partner withdraws his lack of success, accusing him of all his failures (a partner so bad arranged in his life), and along with talks about the "machinations" of the partner with respect to others, so that they, too, do not stand on the sidelines.
This simple logic manipulation - "Changeling-operation" with the change of signs with "plus" to "minus" (in which the bad becomes good and vice versa) - activates Esenina for logic aspect ratios (b.l.6), allows him " shake up "(" reset ") your old negative result (revoke its previous lack of success) and start building your relationship with your partner once again with a clean slate.
- It's the same thing as the correct one to four in the school magazine ...
- ... And even if it put the blame on the teacher. At the same time he himself creates the illusion of changing the situation for the better, in which he himself first and believes. (And why not believe it? - Emotionally, he has defused the situation, from the ambiguity of its falsity and "cleansed", all that has accumulated in my soul, gave to the partner has to shout: the partner is now aware of all of its problems). So now you can only hope for the best - live and enjoy life.
The need to defuse the situation allows it (Yesenin) to arrange a partner such "storm", after which it is easier to breathe.
In particular, domestic order of these emotional upheavals Yesenin remove certain benefits: it is not without quarrels and reconciliations would be (without a parting would not have meetings). The long-awaited reconciliation after a bitter and protracted quarrel is seen as a small celebration after the dreary everyday life, or as a clear, sunny day after a storm. And the feast is customary to give gifts (or at least make promises and fulfill them). During these celebrations on the occasion of reconciliation (which he tries to furnish very festive: is gentle, agreeable (plays on contrasts sentiment), Yesenin creates a benevolent partner, condusive to the generosity of mood, offering to go have fun, have a good time ...) and receives partner all what wanted to ask him before, but did not dare (there was a convenient opportunity, do not overdue, etc.). Through such emotional manipulation Yesenin partner can make an even more comfortable, even better for him (Esenina) conditions. Requiring the partner one concession after another, Yesenin tactically displaces partner in subordinate positions and holds in this humiliating, a subordinate position for a long time. (That sometimes makes a strange impression, as subordinate to the Esenina is a strong-willed, powerful man)
- And if the partner would guess he has a better environment? Even if the conditions that he has created, Yesenin uncomfortable and cumbersome?
- Then arranged new "storm in a teacup", runs a new series of quarrels and scandals (especially painful perceived partners - Objectivist), and if after it reaches the desired Yesenin, then all the accumulated irritation stormy, emotional flow spills out onto a partner in the most unlikely of this place: there are public charges, in which all the awkwardness of its own uncertainties concerning Yesenin withdraws it.
In the systemic relations beta - quadra it does not matter who you are in fact (the logic of the facts there repressed aspect), what matters is who you see yourself in the eyes of society (the dominant logic systems). After these public accusations have Esenina the illusion that in the eyes of society he had to whitewash themselves: so furious "revelations" it's hard not to believe. The victim of his conviction in this case becomes a different person, and he will justify to the public. The main thing in this story - do not consider myself guilty, and be able to transfer the blame onto someone else's head (all on the same adopted in the second fundamental principle: "you die today, and I still shall live" - the innocent suffered a stroke on the head, but he survived) . "Do not be caught - not a thief," and then make excuses to anyone and anything it should not. The main thing - do not be sorry, and not to feel for the fault in this situation. And it needs to convince everyone (and especially himself) in his innocence, need to believe in his innocence and blame someone else. Esenina have it turns out creatively and spontaneously: by aspects of the ethics of emotions (+ ch.e.2) and the activation and inertial logic of relations (b.l.6).
The "inverted logic" that protects the interests of the system and the system of relations by any means - one of the dominant model in an inert block Esenina (b.l.6). Enables them to fight and to defend its priorities, its dominant position in the system. Again, based on the "system of prohibitions and restrictions" placed in his "zone of fear" (+ ch.l.4) with respect to which many of the programs are structured in an inert block. At Provident Esenina these prohibitions and restrictions is reduced to an aspect of logic operations (+ ch.l.4) can not perform those actions which would have brought him into trouble. Aspect of the business logic - the repressed value (counter - intuitive value of his program) becomes the focus of all the problems: what do not all bad, it is better to do nothing. That in itself is considered to be a mistake: in fact for doing nothing with it strictly exacts. This mistake and have to correct the priority issues in the model Esenina its dominant values - the activation aspect of the logic of relations (b.l.6). With this aspect, through accusations and self-justification (through a distortion of the facts in favor of a given logic "he's bad, I'm good") Yesenin fighting for dominance (and privileged) place in the system: trying to remove the suspicion and transferred to other shifts focus in the chain of cause - effect relationship, trying to iron out their versions of logical contradictions, trying to shield themselves to avoid trouble, do not call gossip and rumors.
- What else is characteristic of this situation?
- The negative that Yesenin throws in these "revelations", the exact opposite corresponds to the true state of affairs. Change in them "minus" sign on the "plus" and you'll get an accurate picture of what happened and is happening between the partners really are.
- That is, in fact denigrated their partner does not vilify their fundamentals colleagues, they respected and loved his work, and treated her in good faith ...
- That's right. Her only mistake (weak point in its work) likely was that she allowed her husband to civil submitted its official circles "assistant." In the end, her assignment is turned against her.
second part: translation