These are translations of Gulenko's lectures at School of Humanitarian Socionics (SHS), posting them here to keep all of his videos together. I wanted to translated a few more and will be posting them up when they're done, but for now any thoughts or comments on these three lectures?
I've decided to split these videos from Gulenko Interview thread as it was too many different topics being piled onto the same discussion.
V.G. What is the essence of dual relations in your opinion? Why do all schools of Soconics consider them to be the best relations for life together?
Audience: They support weak functions, cover for them, and unlock the strong functions.
V.G. Dual relations allow people to not waste their energy and efforts on doing something that they aren't good at and instead redirect all that energy to that which they do well.
Audience: Also give a sense of personal value ...
V.G. But is a dual appreciated right away? No, from a distance a dual isn't appealing. This type of relation develops only within close distances, only then you begin to appreciate your dual. If you've run into trouble and your dual has helped you, you sense he can provide help further on. Until you sense that returning energy, that he/she is off-loading problems from your shoulders, duals are usually not appreciated. That's why dual appeals the most when you're facing difficulties, but when you're feeling fine, no problems, no depressions, nobody is oppressing or coercing you, you're doing what you like, in this case where are you going to be pulled? Not to your duals, not to your quadra ... but to what will be you attracted?
V.G. You'll be pulled to you Club http://wikisocion.org/en/index.php?title=Club, that is, Humanitarians will be attracted to other Humanitarians [NF to NF]. It's no longer up to your vital deep core values, but your interests and hobbies: "It's interesting for me to spend time with him".
We have talked about why duality is considered to be the most comfortable for life relations. But, as with any relations there is the other side to this coin. Tell me, in which ways are dual relations deficient? What are their shortcomings?
V.G. Yes, there's loss of practice because people grow so close together. By the way if duality is very strong, often time people become very much alike each other, then it becomes difficult to tell who is who, even who's the extravert and who's the introvert becomes unclear so much they adopt from each other and become alike. The problem is loss of training of weaker functions. If you are "torn away" from your dual, you'll have a heap of problems that you've forgot how to solve because previously someone was doing all of this for you. Especially, in my opinion, I'm emphasizing this, this is not as difficult in a married couple as in a dual relation of mother and child. This separation will inevitably occur - the child will need to leave his or her mother, start new relationships with other people. But the dual side will be pulling him or her back - it's like an adhesive that will make it difficult for the child to break free.
Audience: Can't the dual train their partner on the weaker functions?
V.G. *shakes head* The dual can give advice and explain, but it's much easier to take it up yourself and do it for the other. Therefore there is very little training. The break up of a duality thus brings much anguish and suffering for both people. If duality was very strong, and one dual has departed from life, the other one doesn't remain for very long.
Audience: But can duals strike up contracts at high levels of relations - you teach me this, I teach you that?
V.G. This is a logical approach. We will talk later about this, in which relations it makes sense to logically talk things over. In dual relations, this doesn't make sense. There there is a need to feel each other here. This is more important in duality than logical negotiations.
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