Typhon

Wait is what Ill do. Shes in a mental hospital now so the only way i can talk to her is through writing her. I dont think now is a good time todeal with this with her. Ill wait tilll she gets out, we have more contact and if things continue or if it was just a phase.

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ENFj, Ni subtype, 4W5

FDG

Mental hospital? LOL

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ENTj 7w8

silverchris9

Well, no, not lol, but that could significantly change what the best way to look at the relationship is. She might just need time to get healthy on her own, without too much relationship stuff at all. She might be pushing you away because of some slight awareness of that. But I have basically zero experience in either love or mental difficulties, so I ought to just be quiet.

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Not a rule, just a trend.

IEI. Probably Fe subtype. Pretty sure I'm E4, sexual instinctual type, fairly confident that I'm a 3 wing now, so: IEI-Fe E4w3 sx/so. Considering 3w4 now, but pretty sure that 4 fits the best.

Yes 'a ma'am that's pretty music...

I am grateful for the mystery of the soul, because without it, there could be no contemplation, except of the mysteries of divinity, which are far more dangerous to get wrong.

WorkaholicsAnon

um, weird??

Drama much?

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Fi-IEE

Loki

I was about to say she sounds insane and this goes beyond socionics, but now it's all clear. The problem is she is crazy.

redbaron

gonna say the same thing. I feel for you guys.

Creepy-sarahdxwrappd

wait for someone who continuously hurts you AND is in a mental institution? niiiiice. sounds like a waste of time and feelings IMO.

redbaron

well maybe she's hurting him because SHE'S hurting. Not a great excuse but understandable. Maybe if she can get healthy, she'll stop mistreating him. It's up to him as to whether he wants to spend his timing waiting for that to happen. But yeah, I think I agree with you in general.

crazedratXII

Well.. I can tell you what I would do, but I suppose I'm not her dual. (I actually recently had a similar experience with a dual. She was insulting my laziness. But I blamed her attitude on the fact she was with another IEI who was ~mercilessly cock blocking me~. Holy shit.) I would simply tell her she sucks, too, and then take it to another level by exaggerating how much she sucks. Then, by making it so obvious I was exaggerating, it would make both what I said meaningless, and then by association what she said meaningless. I wouldn't take it personally and I'd turn it into an absurd joke. It's possible you've been too nice to her. It's not good to be too nice to people, it will have reverse consequences. There is a flipside to niceness. It can be manipulative, uncomfortable, and weak ... If it's not justified. People will sense this, and then they'll fuck with you. It can also pussify you as a male. The female may get into her head (?how!?) that she is better than you, the male! (hahahahhahah!)

Absolutely. The girl is in the power position, and that is simply unacceptable. Yeah, dump her now before she dumps you AND humps other dudes. How bad is that? You have to make HER feel the pain.

Exactly pirate. This is how a true beta handles his problems. Now typhon, what are you? Are you a real beta? Or are you a ninny.. an impersonator. Get out there and deal with this, NOW.

crazedratXII

Yeah, exactly tuturututu.
But make sure to do it in a way where you can always step back from it afterwards and say "oh, whatever, that's all absurd".

Typhon

Fuck you. How are you an expert on how a "true beta" handles his problems. I probably know my type better than you what the hell is an INFp-ISTj? Dont tell me what to do the real ninny would be the one who just wants to be cool so he listens to crazedrat who thinks he knows something about socionics and beta.


I can make my own decisions thank you very much.

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ENFj, Ni subtype, 4W5

Typhon

She admits shes crazy herself.

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ENFj, Ni subtype, 4W5

aixelsyd

She may or may not be sleeping around, but my initial thoughts when I read this was that she just doesn't feel that way and is probably pissed that she's in a relationship that feels constraining in regards to her freedom. It may be a phase, but I wouldn't assume that just because it is duality that she wants to be with you in that way right now. Maybe go to what she is suggesting and be friends. Let her call the shots on this one.

I am not LSI, but having gone through something remotely similar, the signs are there...getting frustrated at the situation and letting it blow over on you because it's more or less why this frustration is there.

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5w4 sx/sp

Norge (w)hore

Typhon

intelligent.


Id rather dump her and make her feel the pain then end up being friends though.

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ENFj, Ni subtype, 4W5

Mariella

I don't care what type she or you is. She was and is wrong and you should find someone who appreciates you.

Maritsa33

Sounds like a bad relationship; she want's to be with you but in an open relationship, but doesn't treat you well enough to have any relationship; and, it doesn't sound like a dual relationship.

Let's see, keep her on the side as an f-buddy, because that's what she wants and look for another person who is kinder to you...this option is another emotional situation you will have to deal with.
Or, break up and lead a sane life and not have to worry about all the emotional abuse you're getting...this option will make you healthy.

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Enneagram 2w1

aixelsyd

Well, then if you realize it is that obvious and if you want to deal pain to your loved one, perhaps to cut her out of your life is the even more intelligent way to go.

Love can turn to hate in even the theoretically best relationships. It's a cancer. Eliminate it if you so desire or have your positive emotions killed by it. Slow and painful or quick and painless. Pick your poison since it sounds doomed as it is. You consulted the forum and as a forum member, I'll tell it how I see it with what limited information brought at the table which is enough to say it.

Though I suppose it's something of human nature to choose the path of aggravation in regards to sticking around with someone we formerly cared for in that way.

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5w4 sx/sp

Norge (w)hore

Loki

Right. But I mentioned this because I see at hopeless no matter what you do as long as she is insane. And I see hurting her as a way to possibly make her insanity worse. And honestly how she treats you just isn't okay, but if she's not of sound mind she might not be able to help it, but still by allowing it to continue you're letting her hurt you and so the reasons why she's doing it are less important than that she is doing it.

Creepy-sarahdxwrappd

After reading comments about "make her feel the pain"...I doubt you leaving her alone will make her much worse off than she is right now...in a mental institution.

it's simple: leave her alone. A) she's not healthy at the moment, she needs to fix herself; it's easier to do without distractions B) she doesn't want you from what's she said and her actions. make yourself happy, this shouldn't be type related.

crazedratXII

No, you don't know more about your type than I do. Anyway, I'm not an expert on "true betas". That line was a joke, and the whole post was pretty much a joke.. Now I see you have no sense of humor. Well, I guess I can understand why you reacted this way.. you're basically this girls bitch so that has to be embarrassing. I bet she calls you a pussy / wimp, doesn't she? I can just get that. ISTj girl, wimp like yourself. Yeah, she treats you like her bitch and it's emasculating.