Mariella

How well do you get along with mirrors? My sister and I generally get along, but sometimes she drives me absolutely nuts. Like today, I was talking about how my computer is having problems and I might get a new one, so then she emails me a bunch of links to computers that are the best and have good deals, when MY HUSBAND WORKS ON AND BUYS COMPUTERS FOR A LIVING. He works for a large corporation and does computery stuff and buys computery stuff. If we're going to get a computer, he'll chose what we get and where, and he'll know where the deals are. I have no idea why she decides to take over stuff like that for me, but it drives me crazy. It feels controlling, like she's wanting to decide what I get. And when I get one she didn't email me a link to, she'll take it personally, like why wouldn't I get that one.

Another thing she does is she thinks the gas station she goes to is THE BEST and the only place to get gas. And the pizza place by her is THE BEST and the only place to get pizza. And the place she gets her glasses is THE BEST and the only place to get glasses. Etc. I mean really, every single thing, and when I say, I like the place where I got my glasses, she'll try to argue me down as to why the place she goes is THE BEST and the only place in the world anyone should go. She was arguing with me about why I should drive an hour to get my oil changed at this place by her when I have a husband whose hobby it is to fix cars and do that kind of thing. And she just went on and on about it.

I should post this in Delta but my god when she drives me crazy like this I think, "are we really mirrors?" But then we do generally get along. She just should never get started on something. Since I started writing this, she's called me three times about computers she's looked up online I should get. I told her to STOP IT and she got huffy. She is not going to choose my computer for me. IF I GET ONE. I just introduced the idea that I MIGHT get a new one before long.

I swear she has Asperger's syndrome or something.

So, are you ever driven absolutely freaking crazy by your mirror?

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IEE

Si is LVE

Lobo

All I can say is that you've posted things before about your sister and I've never been able to identify with those actions. With this post, now I would really doubt she is EII, and sounds more like an ESI I know. Also, it makes sense that she drives you crazy, that's what siblings are supposed to do .

IEEs don't drive me nuts, it's pretty easy going. The only things that have bothered me a bit is how sometimes they like to talk themselves out of situations, and sometimes dismiss arguments in a rather condescending way when they don't agree with it, even when the argument has good reasoning behind it. But, they definitely don't drive me nuts.

redbaron

that would drive me crazy too.

Um... I generally like my mirrors, however, I'm not super close to any of them in terms of proximity. My aunt is my mirror and I absolutely love her but if we lived in the same town and had regular interaction, I would probably run for the hills after awhile. One of my best friends from college is EIE and when we started living together, things fell apart. A lot of closeness with one's mirror is probably not a great thing. In general, I feel like EIEs are too overbearing and they expect too much from me and are disappointed continuously when I don't deliver, even if it's just the fact that I don't have a concrete opinion about something. I think they also see me as lazy and I make them feel impatient.

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IEI
4w5 sp/sx
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Mariella

She can't possibly be ESI. She is so fearful of confrontation, can't stand up for herself. My brother is an ESI and I recognize that Ne PoLR and that just isn't her.

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IEE

Si is LVE

Jarno

both issues I've seen also with my dad. he's got obsessive compulsive personality disorder.
everything he does/has is THE BEST. and you should buy what he tells you since he is the only one who know everything, he know the truth etc.

also, mirrors are great, except for the 'hot disputes' when discussing.

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ILI -Te

Mariella

My dad has OCD. Is that hereditary? Maybe that's what's going on.

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IEE

Si is LVE

Lobo

Alright... I'm just basing it off the pushiness.

Mariella

It isn't pushy in that way. It's hard to explain. She can be very passive aggressive. She can also just keep bringing something up but if you say something she'll say, "Oh, I'm not telling you what to do, I just think . . ." and keep going on and on. It's more like just not letting a subject die. She's called me twice more.

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IEE

Si is LVE

Lobo

Oh ok, using the "I'm not telling you what to do" phrase as a front. That's pretty funny, yet annoying, I've had people do that to me as well. I don't think it's a disorder to be that way though, might just be some kind of insecurity issue. I'm trying to remember if I've done that before, but in that sense I'm pretty direct and don't have any desire to control someone's actions... Coincidentally, an example that comes to mind is about computers, and how I tell people that if they are going to buy a computer, they should look into building one themselves because it's easy and cheaper (could save you 100s of dollars), but I doubt that it comes off as controlling. I have a more laissez faire philosophy about things.

About the passive aggressiveness... I tend to see that as an inherent woman trait

redbaron

uh, NO. lol... some of the best passive-aggressive behavior I've seen has been from men. (SEIs to be specific...)

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IEI
4w5 sp/sx
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Lobo

I knew someone wasn't going to agree. Women... *sigh*

redbaron

well at least I wasn't passive-aggressive about it.

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IEI
4w5 sp/sx
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aixelsyd

Usually have no problem with them but their ways of doing things when we are working together can drive me crazy. Like, they can be too methodical, if that is the word. Like, they lack flexibility in circumstances where a different approach would be far more efficient for all involved. But alas. But even so, I try not to get grumpy about it because I know it is just their way of doing things and I have no desire to patronize. But otherwise, they are refreshingly proactive, serious, and are very, very easy to work with and accomplish a lot with. I tend to draw and gravitate towards the Ni subtypes seeing as I am Ni subtype myself, but I also greatly enjoy the leadership capabilities of the Te subtypes as well. Overall, lovely people, the ones I know through the longer term. I would prefer not to date them (though I was sore tempted in the early half of this year...mmm...Asian LIE-Te subtype...sweet, smart, and sexy.) but I have never had any really big disagreements with them. And as said, we are primarily geared towards working partners (for some proactive, even business related ventures where collaboration between us seems most natural and logical.).

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Dissecting a piece of music to every note and every chord will not allow one to know the beauty of the piece of music just as knowing the breakdown of human ways of taking in information and in interacting with others through any theory will not enable one to understand and know what it is and what it feels like to live as such a human and to enjoy the beauty that can be of human relationships. Through knowing, I lost knowledge of what it means and what it is. What use, then, is there in this theory?

Lobo

haha, that's true.

Azeroffs

Could be the difference in temperament.

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ENTj Ni-LIE
3w4 sp/sx
3w4-5w6-9w8

"Absolute certainty is a privilege of uneducated minds and fanatics."
— CJ Keyser

"You know, some people say life is short and that you could get hit by a bus at any moment and that you have to live each day like it's your last. Bullshit. Life is long. You're probably not gonna get hit by a bus. And you're gonna have to live with the choices you make for the next fifty years."
— Chris Rock

tiny_dancer

I actually had an EIE roommate that used to do exactly the same thing as your sister. She had a sandwich that was THE BEST. And a brand of pickle that was THE BEST... etc etc etc...

I don't think that's an EII thing in particular. The ones I know don't do anything like that. We get along really well, but too much contact and we can get impatient with each other. I think it might be the rational/irrational thing.

My best friend gets obsessed with her DS... she's slowly turning into a miser, and all she talks about is how she needs to save money. She bought a house she could barely afford, although it's in an excellent stable neighborhood and she got an amazing deal on it, but that made the whole money thing worse. I just wish she'd stop talking about that stuff. Every other word out of her mouth is about coupons.

Anyway, other than that we don't have many quarrels. We have extremely similar viewpoints, but just different enough that we can drive each other nuts. I can't complain, though. She's put up with all kinds of stupid shit from me.

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IEE

redbaron

rotfl

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IEI
4w5 sp/sx
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Brian

--

Not really. I think Akra suffers more from my occasional attempts to "cheer her up" by trying to revise her thinking processes (fwiw, it works on SLIs ). She can also be a bit intense sometimes, but this is a general thing I encounter with many Fjs.

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C/
Eclectic as a well-made pizza.
9w8-2w1-7w6 sx/so
Hartman Yellow/Blue
Oldham Mercurial/Self-Sacrificing
Nohari

Diana

She sounds like someone with too much time on her hands. I've seen other people get weird like that. I think, that when a person doesn't really know who they are, or what's important to them, that they invent things to mean something, even if they're really ridiculous, like the best place to get whatever it is. She always sounds lonely, depressed, and kind of desperately reaching for something to hold onto to me. People get that way about their kids (you know the hovering insane parents who view their kids as "projects") or animals (crazy cat lady) or their jobs (this job is the most important thing in the world, nothing else matters.) We need people, and we need real connections, and we need to know who we are - otherwise I think we start to go kind of crazy.

Or maybe I'm reading way too much into her odd behavior. The other people I've seen act like that just seemed lonely and grasping and lost to me, so I tend to see her that way too.

JuJu

Relations with my mirrors (in my case, INFps) have been, for lack of better words, (mostly) up-and-(w/ periods of dramatic) down.

There are times when mirrors get along extremely well, and are able to empathize with each other to extraordinary degrees. We have similar problems, weltanschauungs, aspirations, and even interests (albeit w/ slightly different foci.) We're able to talk about these easily, and generally have fun/work well with each other.

There are problems though. Mirrors understand similar things slightly differently--they emphasize different aspects of the same thing... And this can lead to frustration w/ each other. (In my case, usually I get frustrated with IEI's PoLR--their lack of Te can make me feel like I'm babysitting... Generally they criticize me for being "arrogant" or "uptight" or over-indulgent.) Periodically, it can lead to contempt.

Mirror relations have an oscillating character. Phases include: (usually) great mutual understanding, leading to slight bafflement w/ each other, leading to internal criticism of each other, leading to seething, leading to incisive, vocal criticism of each other, leading to, finally, bygones are bygones, and all is well again. Repeat.

I've noticed that mirrors often criticize each other hypocritically, for faults each other possess.

These are much more interesting relations, to me, than identical... Mirrors are great if you need sympathy, or if you want someone like you, but not quite... Long-term romantic relationships would be maddening... Worse than semi-duality or mirage in my opinion.

This is how it's gone with me and INFps... My younger brother, my good friend from prep school Jon, and even Nick from here at this forum.

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ENFj

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