redbaron

I know this ILE on facebook---actually I knew him in college and we've reconnected a bit over facebook. Anyway, he's still single and really desperately in need of an SEI woman. Well, I happen to know this single woman from my church who's just like maybe two years younger than he and I think they might hit it off. Trouble is, he's not very physically attractive--could stand to lose a few pounds, which he's trying to do (but needs an SEI to help him!!) Anyway, he's great. He's got the wackiest ideas and I think they might hit it off. But she seems to have high standards and I don't know how on earth I'd introduce them! She's no runway model herself but she's very healthy and doesn't "need" a man although I do think she'd like to get married someday and she's very open to meeting people. They both live in the area but there's no point of reference except me I suppose.

So my question is, does anyone have any suggestions for what I could do to fix them up and bring them together in a subtle way? I don't want to turn her off and I think a blind date would be a disaster. But I also think they're duals and might really appreciate each other in the long run. This is just so tricky. Any ideas?

Rubicon

Could you throw a dinner party or something? Play charades and make sure they're on the same team? :-p Idk.. Do they have any interests in common?

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redbaron

I think they both enjoy gardening. I know she does. He fools around with these gigantic sunflowers so maybe I could get him to tell her about them.

A dinner party... I dunno if I'm up for that right now. I'll think about it. Good suggestion though! thanks

Pied Piper

Is this the same guy in VI? And are you going to do something about it?!
If I was you, I wouldn't think twice. Connecting LII with ESE might leave with you a bitter taste (I did :|), but when it comes to ILE and SEI, nothing is more easy and without hard feelings. Trust me.

__________________
"No trifling! I can't wait, beside!
...
With him I proved no bargain-driver,
With you, don't think I'll bait a stiver!
And folks who put me in a passion
May find me pipe to another fashion."

redbaron

yeah I'm still trying to figure out how! they live about 25-30 minutes apart with very different circles/lives but I still feel like hmm, it might work. Thing is, she's quite a bit more attractive than he is. So I dunno if she'd go for it. He's a really great guy tho.... heart of GOLD.

(what happened with the LII/ESE match-up?)

Pied Piper

Well that's the only important part .
The LII guy told me, not without a lot of questions from my part, that he doesn't really like how things went out. He said that it's much better to be something spontaneous ("as in the movies or novels", imo ) and that he can't be himself. He said that he can't be spontaneous and that probably the explanation is that "it's not what it should be".
In turn, she said that he's too childish and not organized enough, wants to start a family & stuff, it seems, but imo she's not prepared. She's extremely impatient and doesn't listen, she seriously pissed me off once, with the occasion of the last elections - she was too dumb and still didn't accept her mistake. She said that I am not realistic while her favorite disappointed all of us, as I predicted... So facts!
My conclusion is that she actually is looking for something, maybe a rich guy? I don't know, she would deny anyway if I ask.

Anyway, I don't know, they said that it's on hold, but it seems that they don't intend to go further, quote "he/she is a very interesting person and nice to talk with. we're pals so far". Whatever. I have the constant feeling that the LII didn't like that I involved too much, he told me at one point that "your job is done here", so like I should not stick my nose anymore, but because I asked further questions it is possible that this bothered him.

IMO she has a higher self-image than in reality and he has a lower one than in reality. He's an artist and an expert in computer graphics while she worked in household & stuff (wiping oldies' asses), and now she's in an whatever-they-do-mass-production-boring-office merely learning Java, servers and such crap.

So no idea, but my overall impression is that they're not so open-minded that I though previously and that they actually didn't trust this compatibility I talked about and it was seen only as an occasion to meet someone. I can't wait for her to meet a "serious gentleman", LIE or something, so the hell gets on her ass .
Btw, they both told me previously (independently) that they don't think they can find someone who can endure them. Maybe they began with a prejudice?

I was left pretty disappointed, I am not sure if I'd try this for Alpha Rationals anymore, but maybe, just take a different approach, I'll analyze this outcome with the next occasion.
---

Alpha Irrationals instead are very open about such hypotheses (like this compatibility), I was never disappointed by them so far. For example I had an SEI workmate, 40-45 y.o. and I told him a lot about these things, I don't know what his wife was and although I never suggested him that he might be in a not-so-good relationship, he became concerned and was telling me later things about his wife asking for my opinion (eg. saying that he's sometimes discontent because she's authoritative and stuff - but who's not authoritative with an SEI?).

I think they really click with such ideas very easily - especially if useful for ILEs - SEIs accept them anyway. Ask him to make a video about some interest of him, don't tell him what you are going to do with it, then send her the video and check if she like him .

__________________
"No trifling! I can't wait, beside!
...
With him I proved no bargain-driver,
With you, don't think I'll bait a stiver!
And folks who put me in a passion
May find me pipe to another fashion."

1981slater

Girl = Vader
Boy = Luke
Red Baron = Obi Wan

step # 1 (step by step, ooh baby, gonna get to you giiirl)

Set up a dinner so they can meet each other



step # 2 (the girl is healthy, the boy is fat so she says: "the Force is within you, young Skywalker you are not a Jedi yet. Join a gym NOW")




step # 3 (the girl admits she wants to bang the ILE: "Obi Wan didn't tell you the Truth, big boy")



step # 4 (spoiler: Vader embraces the Light side of the Force again)



step # 5 (love!)



step #6 (major courtship operations have ended)

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ILE
Ti-ENTp []
DCNH: D subtype ()
7w6
ENFP
Aquarius

Aiss

Do forgive me for having a laugh at Fi-PoLR matchmaking.

Pied Piper

This is a special brand of matchmaking.
Next time I'll try with Fi/Te types. I heard my SLI brother is not with that SEE anymore, sounds like a very interesting perspective . (I hope they won't see this)

__________________
"No trifling! I can't wait, beside!
...
With him I proved no bargain-driver,
With you, don't think I'll bait a stiver!
And folks who put me in a passion
May find me pipe to another fashion."

JWC3

Don't throw a dinner party! That's way to subtle. You need to stop beating around the bush, get these people in the same room together and demand that they make babies. If that doesn't work the humorous nature of the situation or rather the awkwardness that will ensue when you glare at them for defying you, will spark conversation.

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consentingadult

Orgnize a movie-theme night, where people eat food and watch a movie together. Even better, a movie marathon, e.g. 2 or 3 Pedro Almodovar movies, combined with Spanish food that can be eaten off the table while wathcing these movies.Make sure they can sit comfortably.

Perhaps even ask the ILE to bring along DVDs.

Success guaranteed!

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Wikision's Maintenance Guy

Pied Piper

Only assuming that the ILE will come and if he does, that they spend enough time together, and if they do that the girl likes him, and if she does that he finds that out somehow, and if he does that there's no problem to talk with her about that, and if he does that this array of "ifs" and "thens" does not appear ridiculous .

IMO this method is too complicated, but it's just me.

__________________
"No trifling! I can't wait, beside!
...
With him I proved no bargain-driver,
With you, don't think I'll bait a stiver!
And folks who put me in a passion
May find me pipe to another fashion."

jxrtes

Tbh you should consider the possibility that it may never happen. SEI women have very high standards when it comes to their boyfriends' appearance (Si); often their choice of significant other is a reflection on them (Fe).

Contrary to popular belief, SFs are probably the snobbiest types in the socion -- though with Gamma SFs it's more about rejecting people that don't share their personal moral values.

I think ILEs know this instinctively. If I don't dress well or if I gain lots of weight, I'd probably feel like a loser. Though I wouldn't judge others because I really don't care and wouldn't even know where to begin.

This is an area where there is a bit of distinction between men and women, because men are much hornier and will take whatever they can get. It also probably depends on other factors like economic class, how attractive she looks herself, how popular, etc. If he's her only source of and then his chances increase.

If it doesn't work out, they might become good friends.

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consentingadult

Yeah, you might be right, the average ILE would rather be the chairman of the SPO (Society of Party Organizers), than accept an invitation from it.

I still think Redbaron should give it a try.

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Wikision's Maintenance Guy

redbaron

Joe and slater, I'm laughing SO HARD at your posts. Fi polr rules!

Blaze

lol funny indeed.

i would say some kind of group thing, with like more than four people. bowling is always good since everybody looks silly. a lot of people won't bowl though.

a dinner party could be good but it might not be the thing for you to do right now.....dancing is good but you have to get people to do it. a lot of people like going to see a band or a hockey game or some such. or a play.

barbecue....could be good!

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ILE

those who are easily shocked.....should be shocked more often

Maritsa33

Take her out for coffee and tell him in advance to drop by "unexpectedly" and then you see him and say "oh hi there, nice to see you, join us please and meet my friend"

My SEE girlfriend is the shyest person ever around new people. I have to almost always drop in on the first date otherwise she just becomes clamed up. Poor sweatheart. The first day we met each other, she told me all about herself and ever since, we have been good about this "dating" arrangement for her.

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Enneagram 2w1

redbaron

yeah that would actually probably work! I know he'd go for that. She might be suspicious though.

buckland

I'd probably have told you the same before socionics (maybe even now). There's a very large amount of pressure involved in being set up with a friend's friend.

Plus, ESEs prior to socionics would not have been an automatic choice for me. I always pictured ending up with someone closer to my temperament.

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LII?

Pied Piper

Let me guess, some sort of Dana Scully?

__________________
"No trifling! I can't wait, beside!
...
With him I proved no bargain-driver,
With you, don't think I'll bait a stiver!
And folks who put me in a passion
May find me pipe to another fashion."